Baby What a Big Surprise
by LisaDouglas
Summary: Set in 1980. Bob and Emily make Howard and Ellen feel better about their impending marriage by reflecting on how they became parents. Part I in a series.
1. Caged Fury

Chapter One- Caged Fury

_Chicago, July 1980_

Ellen Hartley had thought she could avoid marriage forever, and she was nervous as she realized that road had finally come to an end. It was her own fault…no, it was Howard's fault and she would blame it on him. On the other hand she supposed she should count herself lucky. Why shouldn't she happily marry a man who'd waited almost five years for her?...Because it wasn't for her, that was why. And it was a good reason. She'd been searching her soul all the way from Cleveland and she had little idea why she was still on a trajectory toward her boyfriend's apartment in Chicago.

She took a deep breath as the elevator came to the fifth floor and stopped. This had to be done and that's just the way it was. The very thought made her nauseous all over again.

"Oh, hi Ellen!" Ellen was startled to see her sister-in-law when the elevator door opened. She held baby Molly in her arms. The sight of a baby made Ellen want to throw up or cry. "Look Molly, it's Auntie Ellen!"

"Hey Molly…hi Emily." She said uneasily, hoping that Emily wouldn't notice how uneasy she was. She was prepared to talk to Howard and Howard alone at this point.

"You here to see us or Howard, I'm just going out to get Meghan and Bridget from preschool."

"No, no I'm, here to see Howard…do you know if he's home?"

"Yeah, he should be there, he was at our place just a few minutes ago. Oh look at the time I can't be late for the girls! I'll see you later Ellen."

"Bye Emily."

Ellen's nerves began to take over once the elevator doors shut. Kids hadn't changed Emily really, just her schedule, and not really even her career. But Emily already made a living out of being around kids. Being a Vice Principal and having kids wasn't the same as being a reporter and having them. Not at all. Ellen forced herself to turn around and trudge down the hall to finally accept Howard's marriage proposal.

...

"Ellen!" Howard was pleasantly surprised to see his on and off girlfriend, and long-term fiancé when he opened his door.

"Hi Howard." She smiled nervously. He kissed her softly she couldn't help but smile, she loved his kisses. She loved their fling and dreaded the notion of their commitment.

"Oh Ellen, it's good to see you, what brings you to town I didn't know you were here!" He said as he went to get them something to drink.

"I came to see you." She explained as she sat on the couch.

"Y-you did." He smiled. He was touched.

She sighed inside, relieved that he was happy about this. She was, after all, about to change the man's life. It was at least nice to know that he wanted to see her.

"Yeah, um…it's kind of about some things." She said, trying her best not to throw up.

"Oh." He asked, sitting down beside her.

"Um…first I came here to tell you that it's time."

"What's time?"

"I accept. Howard…will you still marry me."

"Marry! Of course I'll still marry you! Are you meaning to tell me we're finally going to get married!" He asked, allowing him to hug her.

She'd never seen him this happy about anything ever. She knew in that instant she'd made the right decision, at least for him…and at least he loved her. She wished that overly independent part of her would allow her to just be happy with love…but it wouldn't.

"Yeah Howard. I'm ready."

"Ellen. I love you." He said, leaning in to kiss her.

"I love you too. But before you say yes, there's something you should know." "What?"

"Remember, Howard. Uh…last month when you came to see me in Cleveland?"

"Well yeah. We had a great time, didn't we?"

Howard had had a wonderful time, it was fun, romantic, everything you'd want in a weekend with a person you really liked to be with…and plus they'd been in Cleveland. Bob hadn't been there to initiate a curfew of any type like he usually was able to when they were in Chicago.

"Yeah." She said nervously. She couldn't believe he wasn't picking up on the fact that she had something sensitive to say, even though he was Howard.

"Well…what is it?"

"Howard. I'm pregnant."

"What! You mean we're having a baby, you and me together!"

"Yeah."

"This is great! I couldn't be happier I'm going to be a father!"

"Howard, you already are a father." She reminded.

"I know but…I like little kids Ellen. They're really neat." Ellen knew this; he never hesitated to spend time with "their" nieces…who were really her nieces. "And besides…this is different it's a baby with you." He said. She threw her arms around him in an instant and began to cry.

"Hey." He laughed, beginning to rub her back. He kissed her cheek in an attempt to comfort her. "Don't cry. It's okay. We're doing this together it's gonna be great."

"I'm just so glad to know it…Howard." Part of her had been afraid he'd reject her after she told him.

"Yeah."

"I'm really scared."

"What are you afraid of you don't have to be afraid." He laughed.

"Howard….the doctor thinks its going to be twins."

"Twins! Ellen that's wonderful twins!"

"Y-you think?"

"Yeah…why wouldn't it be?"

…

Ellen could tell you exactly why it wouldn't be wonderful. She didn't want to settle down: ever. She loved Howard and she vaguely wanted a baby….but two of them? At once? The fact that she was expecting twins met that she had to be with Howard, that she had to give up her career. She couldn't have twins by herself. She was starting to feel so, so…trapped.

Meanwhile Emily was alright with being encouraging but kept thinking silently about her own situation, one which she hadn't even quietly informed Bob about yet, which was too bad because she was just bursting to. She'd been promoted that day: to principal! It had been something she had really wanted and worked hard for over the past few years. But being the mother of three young girls, she wasn't sure if she should accept it. If maybe her other commitments were too much. With this mulling through her mind, it was a little difficult to listen to Ellen's repeated concerns about her own career.

"Emily, I'm…I'm scared." She admitted they were all about to have dinner. She and Emily were in the kitchen and Bob and Howard were in the living room.

Ellen had observed that the whole evening was awkward and that her situation had driven a wedge between Bob and Emily, something she certainly wasn't comfortable with. Bob had been furious when he found out. She was pregnant and not married after all and she was his baby sister. Ellen felt like she had let him down, a feeling that rang through her soul every time he looked at her from across the room and just stared. Emily, on the other hand was thrilled by the news and wouldn't stop talking about how great babies were. Ellen observed that Emily was really good at being a Mom. And she knew she'd be lousy.

"There's no reason to be scared." Emily laughed as she attended to the hors d'oeuvres she was making.

"Emily." She said, making sure that Howard couldn't hear. "Part of me, you know, would rather just do this on my own." Actually part of her wanted to say, 'Here Howard, here are your kids,' and walk away from the picture forever. Even she knew that was terrible.

"I don't know how people do it on their own. I couldn't do it without Bob." Emily said, louder than Ellen wanted her to as they walked back into the living room to sit with their significant others who were not speaking to each other.

"How people do what?" Howard asked, glad to have Emily come back into the room so someone would speak to him.

"Raise kids on their own."

"Oh." Howard guessed what Ellen had said and was hurt by this.

He had a feeling that Ellen didn't want to do this with him and that she'd leave like Lois had. It made him feel worthless. He knew he was a sweet man, a good man…he had money…he thought he was cute and best yet he was a co-pilot now…he didn't understand what was wrong with him.

"Can we uh…change the subject?" Ellen asked nervously.

"To what?" Bob asked in a sharply sarcastic tone that made Ellen jump inside and caused her to instinctively scoot closer to Howard.

She wished Bob weren't being such a jerk, especially to Howard. And it wasn't like he should expect her to be perfectly chaste, she was thirty-five, the idea was laughable. And as for Howard, he was Howard, come on! He should've expected this or something like it would happen eventually, why else had Bob attempted to chaperone them so carefully? And plus they were engaged and had been for a couple of years. Maybe it was good this had happened….

"Mommy." Ellen stopped thinking when she heard a very tiny voice call.

"Awe what Meghan, what, what?" Emily asked, extending her arms to her sleepy-eyed three-year-old daughter.

"I'm tired but I'm hungry and I can't fall back asleep." She yawned.

"Meghan, what about some cheese and a cracker and you fall back asleep?" Bob offered as he pulled her onto his lap. Bob observed that his own daughter's waking up and crawling onto his lap was a nice distraction from his anger.

"Does that sound good Meghan?" Emily asked. She nodded, too tired to say much else.

Meghan had her "midnight" snack and sat on her Dad's lap wondering why no one was saying much of anything to one another. Her mother was serving coffee and making an attempt at small chitchat that wasn't leading much of anywhere. Her Aunt Ellen said almost nothing and the little girl found that confusing.

"Okay Meghan, I think it's time to go back to bed." Bob began, standing up and preparing to go back into the den, which had become a bedroom for Meghan several years before. She nodded and she yawned again.

"Good night angel." Emily kissed her cheek.

"Night Meghan." Howard called as Bob carried her off. Emily sat back down and gazed at her friend and sister-in-law. She smiled. "You know what you remind me of right now?"

"No what?" Howard asked.

"Me and Bob. When we had Meghan."

"We do?" Howard raised an eyebrow.

Everyone had been thrilled when Emily had Meghan. There was no one there who didn't want the child, certainly not Bob or Emily. And certainly no one disapproved of Emily's condition and how she got that way…unless you counted Junior Harrison…sort of. How were they like Bob and Emily?

"Bob. Don't they remind you of us!" Emily chimed as he walked back in the room.

"How?" He asked, also seemingly dumbfounded by this question.

"Well we got pregnant by total surprise too." She reminded.

"Emily that was not the same thing!" He exclaimed.

Ellen, who couldn't take the cold shoulder from her older brother anymore, burst out crying and left the apartment.

"Ellen!" Howard exclaimed and got up to rush after her.

"No, no I'll…I'll go." Bob said, getting up and going after his sister.

He finally caught up with her at the elevator, just as she was about to take the stairs to get out of there.

"Ellen, Ellen stop crying, I'm sorry!" He said.

"Bob I don't want to hear it." She sniffled.

"Look, you're-you're my baby sister and I- I wanted so much to protect you."

"I know that Bob. You're disappointed in me. And you keep pointing it out."

"Maybe a little." He confessed, "but I love you much more." He said, taking her in his arms and hugging her, not really giving her a choice as to whether or not she wanted to be hugged.

"I love you too."

"You don't need to cry. You know, I-I can remember very clearly when you were a new baby, and you know, watching you grow up, walking you to school: we were older and you were a little girl...it was different. I felt so protective of you from the first time I ever saw you…so it's weird for me that you're, you're having a baby, and that apparently it's not my job to try so hard to protect you anymore." He said.

"Thanks Bob." She hugged him and he kissed her cheek.

"Come back to the apartment. I think that Emily is going to tell a very good story."

Bob didn't say it, but he was afraid that his sister being forced to settle down would lead to a restlessness that would ultimately cause to her to become one of those women that abandoned their husband and children within a few years time. He didn't want that to happen to her, and he knew poor Howard couldn't take that kind of a blow…he and Emily would be left to pick up the pieces…and probably raise the baby twins too and he certainly didn't want that.

….

_Chicago, July 4__th__, 1976_

Bob was angry with Emily. He sat on a pile of their stuff…he wasn't even sure what stuff…and stared at her has she blithe fully flipped through their wedding album, periodically calling on him to look at something he didn't care much about. He'd wanted to go down to their storage locker, get what Howard needed for his party and then head back up stairs quickly. But now she'd pulled the doorknob off the door and locked them in. They'd be there for who knows long…maybe they'd even die there, and to make matters worse he was starving!

Somehow their tiff dissolved into a discussion about food, why they didn't have any kids and how they may very well die there before anyone found them. They kept scaring each other half to death with comments about how they'd starve to death, or run out of air. After a while Bob and Emily found themselves on the floor in their sleeping bag, devoid of all other help save perhaps a little rest.

"We haven't slept in this sleeping bag since our honeymoon camping trip!" She recalled. "You know….this is kind of romantic." She said, flirtatiously inching closer to him and wrapping her arms around his chest.

"Emily, we can't mess around in a storage locker!" He found the idea inappropriate at best.

"Why not?" She seemed insistent on them fooling around. "This may be our last hurrah!"

"Well because I..it…they…" On one hand, he was afraid of being caught, on the other, he was afraid no one would ever come and why waste time if no one was ever coming?

"Oh I see Bob, the storage locker police." She rolled her eyes.

"Well I…"

Emily didn't say another word and instead began to unbutton her top very slowly. She was only kidding, but apparently he didn't know that. She hadn't noticed, but he could never resist when she did that.

"Okay." He choked. "Why the hell not?! Might as well go out with a smile on our face."

He took her in his arms and rolled over on top of her, pinning her under him and taking her completely by surprise. She loved it when Bob took her by surprise. He kissed her deeply and it caught her off guard, completely disarming her.

Emily got lost in his first kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, pulling him in closer to her. It was moments like these that made her remember how much she loved him and why. And while she wanted to be found, she sure hoped no one would interrupt this. Bob, who at first thought her desire was ridiculous, was soon enthralled in her kisses. It kept running through Emily's head that they were partially in public, which was so sexy, so daring…so…so incredibly hot…and so unlike Bob. He must've been sure they were going to die to kiss her like this where someone else might stumble onto them.

"Well this is an interesting predicament Mrs. Hartley." He teased. She giggled, nuzzling him softly. "It's not often we find ourselves all alone and locked in a storage locker, is it?" He asked.

"Not nearly often enough." She said as he began to kiss her again, breaking her words. Emily sighed, though her lips were locked with his.

Bob and Emily, in their recollection of this night, neglected to recount the more intimate parts of it to Howard and Ellen, they considered subtlety to be best here. It was what made old movies so much more romantic than newer ones after all. And besides, everyone knew what was required to conceive a baby, and elaborating on it wasn't necessary it was just too personal. But Bob and Emily smiled shyly to each other as they recalled the rest of the evening.

"I love you Emily." He whispered.

He kissed her forehead softly and simply as she let out a breath. She cuddled up to him, wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his chest. She could feel and hear his heart beating in his chest, and found that so romantic. If she was going to die she was happy that death was going to, at the very least, be romantic.

"I love you too! And see aren't you glad you didn't worry about the storage locker police?"

"Yeah Emily, I am." He said, kissing her again. "I really am…and this was more fun than any old Fourth of July party….assuming we live through it."

"I agree, it sure was."

"What a great way to have spent the bicentennial."

"Yeah…it sure was."

Emily was sad for a moment. Who would they tell that story to? They'd just been talking about kids. The ones they didn't have. There was no little boy who could let them out of the storage locker…no little girl to bounce on their knee and tell stories too…She simply hugged Bob again, turning her head to kiss him squarely on his lips.

"Remember our honeymoon camping trip in this very sleeping bag." He asked. She giggled, the memory dragging her out of what she'd been thinking about.

"Yes." She laughed.

They'd spent their wedding night at a nice hotel in Chicago and then gone on a weeklong camping trip the next morning. He'd always wondered why she'd picked camping, now knowing that it was because she was too afraid to fly somewhere, like Hawaii, where he'd wanted to go. It was funny how these two sleeping bags, zipped together, met so much to Emily.

They'd spent their first nights together in that bag, gotten to know each other, cuddled in the dark, laughed a lot, held each other, talked all night, been scared to death by a couple of bears who'd been trying to get in their tent…it was a memorable first few days as husband and wife for sure and until now Emily hadn't thought about them in a long, long time.

"We should get dressed." He interjected. "After all, we don't want to be in this state if someone finds us."

"Yeah, _if_." Emily rolled her eyes.

"Emily, I promise someone will find us." She wondered why he was enthusiastic now.

"Bob, Emily, what are you doing down here!?" Howard exclaimed…this was kind of an uncomfortable question, that was for sure.

"That's what was happening there!" Howard burst, back in the present day.

"Y-yeah Howard." Bob said, Emily blushed. He'd found them half clothed in their sleeping bag and hadn't realized what had been happening…yeah that was Howard.

Ellen smiled knowingly at Emily, realizing that she'd only told the embarrassing story to make her feel a little less embarrassed. Bob looked over at Howard carefully and noticed that they were both laughing. It was kind of funny. Bob recalled that Howard was too good of a friend to alienate. He'd been there for he and Emily every day since they'd met and how many years had that been now? Plus he had no doubt that he'd be a good Dad…probably a much better father than his sister would be a mother that was for sure.

Plus he'd saved them. On the other hand, he'd been only minutes away, from walking in on their daughter's conception which would've made him really, really angry…but more importantly, he'd saved their lives from certain death in the storage locker just by showing up…and that was something to be forever grateful for.

"Howard. I'm sorry. You're a good man." Bob told him.

"Thanks Bob." Howard was relieved to hear that his best friend had forgiven him. Ellen smiled too and took his hand.

"Bob, I was just about to get to the next part of the story!" Emily reminded.

"What next part?"

"Well the part that they're at of course. Remember when I told you?"

"Yes." He smiled. He thought this was probably his favorite part of the story.


	2. Baby Everything

Chapter Two- Baby Everything

_July 1980_

"Oh Howard. I'm sorry." Ellen said, putting her face in her hands.

"About what?" He asked. They'd just gotten back to his…well, their apartment.

"I'm so sorry." She said, grabbing his face and kissing him.

He was totally overwhelmed and felt blessed by her love and by the fact that they were getting married: it was all he'd wanted since the first time he'd laid eyes on her. And the fact that they were having not one, but two babies…it was beautiful and blew his mind away, as if everything suddenly fell into his favor and he didn't know how.

"What do you have to feel sorry for?" He asked, as they pulled apart.

"Look how much Bob and Emily bonded over having a baby. How excited they were. How she made it so romantic." Ellen thought that the story they just heard of how Emily told Bob she was having Meghan, was beautiful and it made her feel sorry about how she'd just delivered the news to Howard as if it were bad news or…something other than special. "Howard you and I deserve that happiness don't we?"

She knew he deserved it, and besides, there was a degree to which spending the evening around her three nieces made her almost excited that she was about to have two of her own…almost.

"I think so." He said, realizing what she was getting at and smiling slightly.

"Well then lets give this a real go and start over." She smiled. "Howard, we're going to have a baby!" She said.

"Not just a baby, twins!" Howard reminded, hugging her tightly.

"Yeah…right, twins." Ellen said nervously…how was she going to handle twins?!

_September 1976_

"Hey Emily, you okay, you don't look so good." He didn't want to admit this to her, but he had to. She looked like she was about to pass out.

"Oh, well I don't feel so good." She admitted. He reached across the kitchen counter to place his hand on her forehead.

"You don't have a fever."

"I know, but I'm just so…queasy." She explained.

"I think you should get back to bed."

"No I have a couple of meetings I can't miss today honey, otherwise I might…oh." She stopped, trying to steady herself. Bob grabbed her shoulders to help her find her balance.

"Come here, honey, let's sit down." He said, helping her over to the couch.

"Oh Bob, I'm fine."

"I think you should stay here and rest a little, it's not normal to be that dizzy."

"I'm fine." Emily laughed as she tried to stand up. "Oh no…ooh I think you're right." She pressed one hand against her stomach the other against her forehead. "But I can't stay home."

"Well at least let me drive you."

"No, no, let me just take a breath and collect myself….Ooh!" She said, catching herself from falling again.

"Alright, that's it Emily. To the doctor you go."

"Are you sure I have to?"

"Yes." He insisted, ushering her out the door ahead of him. "Maybe he'll give you something to settle your stomach."

Emily had not told Bob she'd been throwing up all morning….and the morning before. It usually didn't start until she got to work. But maybe that's why she should've stayed home maybe the flu would be gone by now if she had. On the other hand, Emily thought this could be indicative of something far different from a flu…in fact, she'd thought that she might be pregnant…but that couldn't be it: after all they'd stopped trying for a baby, and they'd tried so hard when they were trying.

Now a few hours had passed and she was sitting at her desk, feeling too lousy to do much of the work piled in front of her. She sat with her forehead in her hand, sipping a cup of coffee. The nausea and dizziness had subsided, but she was left with this incredible yuck feeling. It was a fairly quiet day, she'd dealt with a couple of students only because she really had to and now she felt like throwing in the towel and going home, only she was waiting for the doctor to call back. She'd also tried to put this baby thing out of her mind because it was ridiculous…

"Hello." She answered, picking the phone up before the first ring even finished. She closed her eyes, giving herself a moment to rest as she talked on the phone. She was desperate to get something for this flu or cold, or whatever it was and just wanted to get home. "Um-hum…you're kidding." She opened her eyes in complete shock. "Are you sure? You're absolutely sure. Tomorrow. Yes. Yeah. Well thank you…yes, good bye."

Now Emily was reeling. She'd expected to be told that she had the flu. Could she have possibly heard that right, because she couldn't believe what she'd just been told. She'd been trying too long for this to be right. But, if it were true, it sure would explain her dizziness, the horrible nausea, and the fact that she was very late.

"Hi." She addressed through her tears, resting her hand on her stomach. Looking at her, you would never know anything had happened. "I think I'm your Mommy darling."

There was a piece of her that wished she wouldn't have been told while at school but the other part of her didn't care. She was much; much too happy about being pregnant to care when and how she was told. Her thoughts were going in 20 million directions: how, when and where had this happened? Was it during that mid-summer storm a few weeks ago, or was it when they were locked in the basement during the bicentennial? She would bet it was the bicentennial, now that she thought about it, it seemed like the perfect place to make a baby…and the perfect time: they'd been focused completely on the moment and had been totally relaxed, exactly what the doctor had told her needed to happen…and they hadn't done much of that when they were trying, they'd just been frantically trying.

Emily's thoughts then transitioned to how she was going to tell Bob. It would have to be really special. She considered surprising him at his office and bringing a small gift, like a pair of baby shoes maybe…no, not good enough. Then it came to her, a perfect, romantic, candle-lit dinner…and baby shoes. She went and bought the cutest tiny pair of baby shoes she could find, taking care to make sure that they could be worn by a boy or by a girl…although she had a strong hunch she was carrying a girl. Then she went home, and started getting ready for the evening she'd planned. She'd called Carol so she could inform Bob she had to be with him alone that night: no sports, friends or distractions. Bob was worried after receiving Emily's message and wondered what he'd done. To be on the safe side, he went out and got a dozen roses and a bottle of wine.

When he got home the lights were dimmed and the table was set for two. It was the food more than anything that drew him in. The smell of freshly cooked roast beef made him realize that Emily was likely not angry with him.

"Hi Bob." He heard Emily say as she came out of the den.

"Emily you…you're beautiful." He didn't know what it was about her…the dress? The smile? She was just glowing.

"Oh thank you." She giggled.

"No, no I really, really mean it, you're just breathtaking." While relieved that she wasn't angry with him, he was more than anxious to find out what was going on.

"And you're wonderful." She said, wrapping his arms around him and beginning to kiss him deeply. He was surprised but reciprocated, encircling her with his embrace also. "Come on honey, you've had a long day you must be starved." She said, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the table.

"A-actually I am, what are we having?" He asked, sitting down.

"Well, lets see, roast beef, baby peas, baby corn, baby carrots…"

"Baby everything."

"Yeah, baby everything." She giggled, dropping her first hint.

"Here, I- I brought you something." He went back to the couch and retrieved the roses and wine where he'd left them. "A little white wine."

"Oh." She said, preoccupied with this for a moment, wondering how she was supposed to explain that she couldn't drink any wine.

"And these too." He pulled out the roses and placed them in her arms.

"For me, oh Bob they're beautiful honey thank you!" Emily loved the roses; they were like the kind they give in the movies.

"I'm glad you like them."

"Like them, I love them!" She said they finally sat down to eat. She couldn't admit, just yet, that she was starving.

"I'm glad…I'm curious Emily, what's this all about?"

"Baby everything." She replied flirtatiously, he shot her a confused glance but said nothing back. "Here, I have something else for you." She pushed forward a tiny box that was sitting on the table.

Bob turned it over in his hands a few times. It was baby blue and covered in baby pink ribbon.

"Baby blue, baby pink?"

"They're nice colors Bob." She said, watching him begin to open the tiny gift.

"Baby shoes." He smiled.

"Yeah, baby shoes. Bob…"

"Is there something you have to tell me Emily?" He asked. She nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm pregnant! We're having a baby!"

"Emily, you're kidding! This is wonderful!" He grabbed her hands from across the table and took them in his own. "Oh Emily, you…" he stopped, taking a moment to kiss her hands. "Is it true, are you really?"

"Yeah. I'm due in early April. Oh I'm so glad you're so happy."

"Of course I'm happy, how are you feeling? This does have to do with when I made you go to the doctor this morning, doesn't it?" Inside, Bob was torn between ecstatic and nervous.

"Yeah, the nausea, dizziness, all of that was just morning sickness. But other than that, I feel great because I'm really happy. I've wanted this for a long time."

"I know you have…I have too. We're finally going to get to have our own little…little baby."

"Yeah Daddy."

"Daddy, wow." He could barely say it. "Can uh- can Daddy do anything for Mommy?"

"No, no honey, but I'll let you know. Wow, Mommy! I was over the moon, and so shocked! I was to the point of thinking that maybe we couldn't have babies."

"Me too. Emily, how do you think..."

"Well we finally got the spontaneous carefree environment we were supposed to have in order to get pregnant."

"The storage locker on the fourth of July!"

"The doctor will confirm it tomorrow when I go for my first ultrasound but, yeah Bob, I think so, I think it was the storage locker. Will you come?"

"To what?" He asked.

"The doctor with me! It's my first ultrasound and I'm a little nervous."

"Emily, it's so early, what's there to see? I mean you haven't changed at all. Look at you, your stomach is flat as a board." Emily was a little taken aback at this.

"I'm excited! Well the doctor said that she's about the size of a peanut now…and that her heart started beating last week…he thinks."

"Her, her heart?" He asked.

"Yeah…her heart." Emily smiled. "Please. I'd love for you to go." She wanted to share this with him in the worst way.

"I'll be there honey, for sure." He promised. "I'm sorry I brought you wine."

"It's okay darling, you didn't know. And besides, it'll be good on our anniversary, after the baby's born."

"Good, it'll be even better, it'll be older."

"I just can't wait to hold her."

"Her?"

"I just can't shake the feeling it's a girl."

"Really, a-a girl?" He couldn't help but smile.

"Yes Bob. A girl." She teased. She knew he wanted a little girl, he'd mentioned once or twice what it might be like to hold their daughter in his arms, tell her stories, put pigtails in her hair…

"I thought you wanted a boy?" They'd discussed this back in the storage locker too.

"Yeah, I do…but this one's a girl, I'm sure of it! But I don't care I'm over the moon excited about her!"

"Me too Emily." He said, giving her a gentle kiss. "I just hope she has your eyes, and your smile." Emily blushed at this.

…..

The next morning Bob practically ran into Jerry's office. He had a problem.

"Jerry I have to get the money back!" He said frantically.

"No can do Bob, it's already accounted for."

"You don't understand. Emily needs the money."

"Gee I know she's your wife and I'm just your best friend but…"

"Jerry she needs the money because she's pregnant."

"You're having a baby! Bob, that's great that's really wonderful. You will tell Emily congratulations for me?"

"Sure but that's not going to matter when I have to tell her that I spent the money she was saving up to have a baby."

"You took the baby's money Bob?"

"No, no Jerry, you took the baby's money…I didn't think there was going to be any baby's money, we've been trying for four years, a little intermittently yes, but…"

"No Bob, I took the kid's money, I can't do that, I…What does the kid need money for?" He asked.

"Oh you know Jerry, baby things: a crib, formula, diapers, college."

"I'll help pay for those things Bob."

"I'm serious Jerry, what am I going to do, she's going to start working on turning my den into a nursery any moment and she'll go for that money and it isn't there." He was panicked and to think he'd loaned it to Jerry for something so stupid. Jerry just wanted to make an investment…again with Mr. Carlin and Bob had gotten another chance to go in…he jumped on it because he'd gotten left out of the deal last time. And now he was having a baby and really needed the money.

"Look Bob. Don't worry about it. I'm sure she won't notice as quickly as you think: the deal will pay out! And until then…you should ask Carlin for your money back. I think he'll understand." He promised.

But Bob wasn't so sure. He went to the baby appointment, their first, feeling sick, scared and incredibly nervous. Not just about the money and having to deal with Mr. Carlin financially, but about seeing the baby. He'd never been in a situation like this in his life and found it extremely awkward. He'd never been to the doctor with anybody else …well Ellen when she had that rusty nail go through her foot, one Fourth of July when he was in college and she was still in junior high…but a rusty nail was hardly the same thing as a baby.

Emily, on the other hand, was thrilled. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. Bob noticed how severely her happiness contrasted his nervousness and that calmed him a little. She didn't think there was anything awkward about the situation and that was important.

"Nervous?" He decided to ask. He was ignoring the fact that they'd see the baby any minute now and that he could already hear its heart beating…even that was too much for him.

"A little…but I'm just so excited!" She squealed. "Think about it we're really going to get to see our baby, what could be more exciting than that?"

Bob was afraid he wasn't going to see anything. How embarrassing would that be?! He'd have to pretend. And then he'd be cross-examined and finally found out.

"Ooh that's cold!" Emily giggled, causing him to look up. She'd been warned the gel would feel funny against her skin but was still shocked by just how cold it really was.

"Oh Bob look there she is!" Emily burst.

Bob finally forced himself to look up at the grainy little screen, convinced still that he'd be able to see nothing. Instead, he saw what he

"Wow." Bob whispered, taking Emily's hand.

He was surprised that his eyes went instantly to the baby when he looked up. She was just a tiny little dot on the sea of black and grey on the screen, but he knew that wouldn't last for long, that she'd double or quadruple in size in just a few short weeks and that soon…hell not soon…now he was responsible for her life now!

"Isn't she beautiful Bob?" Emily asked. "Bob?" She asked when he didn't answer. She turned to find him just staring, catatonic. "Bob?" She questioned a third time. "Bob!" She gasped, when he collapsed onto the floor and passed out.

…

"You told that story just to try to change Ellen's mind, didn't you?" Bob chided. He was a little upset about that…and by the fact that the story had some embarrassing moments in it for him.

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Emily laughed as they cleaned up the dishes.

"How do you know it worked?"

"Oh come on. Us calling each other Mommy and Daddy." Emily laughed. "It was so mushy, it made her feel guilty and you know it did."

"Well maybe…but it was embarrassing for me." He'd, passed out when he saw his baby for the first time. To this day it made him feel like a wimp.

"It's just too bad that we didn't get to the part about them."

"A-about them?"

"Yeah." Emily said. "Remember how happy they were about our baby, compared to their own? Its amazing Bob."

"I guess maybe you're right." He remembered that part of it very well. "Remember what our parents…oh no."

"What?" Emily asked.

"Emily, my Mother…do you have any idea how mad she'll be?!"

"Oh." Emily contemplated, he was right. "But Bob, maybe not. Maybe she'll be

happy. After all it's another chance for her to get that grandson she wants." Emily reminded begrudgingly. Martha Hartley wanted a grandson and was not shy about telling people that. Trouble was, she had five granddaughters between Bob and his younger brother.

"Not that again." He said more to himself than to her.

"Well Bob, she yelled at me! She really yelled at me when I had another girl." She said, referring to Molly's birth just six months before.

"And yet you invited everyone to Bridget's party anyway." He said.

"Well it isn't everyday that you turn two Bob and she does love the girls anyway."

"You and Meghan and I will remember it. Bridget won't know the difference."

"Well then that's what's important: that we'll remember it."

"Emily…if Ellen doesn't, and she won't by the way, tell my mother about the baby before Bridget's birthday…."

"Oh no." Emily said, suddenly realizing what he was meaning. She knew right then that their daughter's birthday was going to dissolve into a huge family temper tantrum…not really what you wanted for a two-year-old's party. "Well. I guess that's where she'll have to find out. Who knows maybe it'll be better than you think."

"Better than you think, Emily have you met my mother!" He asked, following her into the bedroom.

"You never know Bob, maybe we'll get lucky and she'll just pass out like you did." Emily teased.


	3. Nesting

Chapter Three- Nesting

_September 1976_

Bob and Emily decided to tell Howard and Ellen at dinner the next night. Emily was anxious to share her news. She'd kept it buckled inside at school all day, and with the exception of begging Jerry for his money back Bob had done the same, hiding his news from Carol, who would be elated. Mr. Carlin whose reaction he was actually very curious about. Mrs. Bakerman who'd be pleased as punch and would probably start knitting something for the baby, and finally Mr. Vickers who would tell him how his son, while still in the womb, was already plotting to kill him.

"Oh Emily, I'm starved, I'm so hungry!" Howard burst in the door, forgetting his girlfriend at his heals and slamming the door in her face.

"Howard." Ellen puffed. "If you do that once more-" It was quite clear to Bob and Emily that they were having a fight…again.

Emily was already serving dinner, like Howard, she too was starved. Howard had begun to dig in before he even sat down. Emily laughed to herself, thinking that with his appetite, you may've thought he was the one eating for two…or maybe more like four.

"Hey Emily, why is everything little, like baby carrots…baby chicken." Ellen asked.

Emily squealed and nodded. Bob took her hand. Howard was deeply confused, but Ellen smiled.

"Wait…are you trying to tell us something?" Ellen inquired. Emily nodded again. "Oh Emily, Bob, that's wonderful!" She said, getting up to hug Emily tightly.

"Wait, what's going on what are you trying to keep from me?!" Howard exclaimed.

"We're not trying to keep anything from you Howard." Bob explained, taking Emily's hand again as she sat back down.

"Howard. I'm going to have a baby." Emily told him.

"A-a little baby!"

"Yeah." Emily reaffirmed.

"Oh my gosh a baby…I'm gonna be an Uncle!"

"That's right Howard." Bob told him.

"Congratulations, ooh this is so exciting, when's the stork coming?"

"Sometime in early April."

"Early April, I got it this is an April fools on Howard, isn't it?"

"No Howard. Honest to goodness I'm having a baby." Emily reassured. She and Bob began laughing. She rested her head on his as they giggled.

"See, I told you it was a joke!"

"It's no joke Howard."

"We're just over the moon." Emily explained.

"Well I'm excited too, and this has been a very cute way to tell us." Ellen replied, lifting up her fork to study the baby carrot more closely.

"I thought baby vegetables and baby chicken would be appropriate." Emily began. "And I'm starving."

"Have you told Mom and Dad yet?" Ellen asked.

"Actually, we're trying to figure out j-just how to do that."

"Bob."

"Hum?"

"I actually took care of that today."

"What?!"

"Your parents will be here for dinner tomorrow."

"Oh."

"And so will mine." She said quickly.

"What?! What did you tell them, how did you get them to come from Seattle, for dinner?!"

"Well, I had to admit to them that we had something to tell them and it was too important for over the phone and they said they'd be on a plane first thing in the morning."

"Emily, you don't want to worry them."

"Oh Bob, I, I think they have a feeling and I think your Mom does too."

"Emily, bringing the whole family together…having people fly half way across the country, it's just ridiculous its like…"

"It's like your nesting!" Howard accused.

"Nesting?" Emily and Ellen questioned.

"A-actually Howard's quite right. Emily, you are nesting, bringing the family together for the baby and its very normal…I just wish you'd told me." He said. Emily burst out crying when Bob said this and excused herself from the room.

"Emily!" Ellen yelled, running after her sister-in-law.

"Uh-oh…hormones." Howard laughed.

"She's just kind of emotional lately Howard." Bob explained. "Was Lois, uh…"

"Oh yeah. She kicked me out a few times." Bob considered this for a second but couldn't imagine Emily doing that.

"But it does have some benefits too Bob."

"Well yeah, I'm going to be a Father, and she'll make a beautiful Mother."

"That and uh, they're going to get bigger Bob."

"What are Howard?"

"Her a, a…"

"Howard!...That's my wife!"

"Bob I'm sorry." Emily sobbed as she and Ellen came back in the room.

"It's okay honey." He said, kissing her cheek and wrapping his arm around her as she sat down next to him again.

…

"Bob…I'm really nervous about telling our parents." She confessed.

"What's to be nervous about? They're our parents and they love us and they've been waiting for this for a long time. Heck longer than we have." He laughed.

"Well that's just it."

"What's just it?"

"Your mother and my father say it to me all the time, that they want a _Grandson..." _Emily emphasized.

"Oh I see. Emily, don't worry about that. We're going to love whatever baby we have, they'll just have to see it our way."

"Oh Bob, you always make me feel so much better."

"That's kind of the point Emily." He kissed her cheek.

"I really think it's a baby girl."

"I'm wonderful either way. I think too many people get caught up on gender…it's not about that. It's about the fact that we'll get to love this baby." He told her and she smiled, agreeing with his every word. "Just as long as baby has those marvelous eyes." She was wowed…he never said anything like this.

"Wow…you must really love me." She giggled, but wanted to cry.

"I do. And really, I don't care, boy, girl, your eyes, my eyes…it's going to be wonderful to have a baby with you. Oh God."

"What?" She asked.

"Your father's going to kill me."

"Why?" She thought this was outrageous.

"Because he'll know now for sure that we've had sex."

"Bob that's ridiculous. We've been married seven years and all that time he's been asking me, Emily when are you going to have a baby, when…"

"Yeah, so he'll know when to kill Bob!"

"Honey, he may be very close to me but he's not that overprotective, after all he did give me away, and to you…" Bob considered this for a moment and smiled.

"You're right Emily, I'm sorry I'm just being paranoid."

"And besides hurting you now would be awfully irresponsible now that you're somebody's Daddy, wouldn't it?"

"Well…when you put it that way…" He hadn't thought of himself, as being someone's father, at least not yet, and the idea that he was made him want to pass out again. He replied simply by kissing her. She smiled, wrapping her arms around him and caressing his lower lip with her own. Suddenly the doorbell rang, effectively breaking their kiss.

"We'll finish this later." Emily teased, kissing his nose.

"Oh Emily, do we have to answer the door?" He asked quietly.

"Open up, I wanna see my daughter!"

"Daddy!" Emily squealed.

Bob watched as his wife hugged her father and quietly wondered if perhaps Emily would have a little girl who was as attached to her Daddy as she was to hers. He hoped that would happen.

"Oh Emily, darling, your glowing!" Her mother said softly as she hugged her.

"Mom." Emily laughed. "Would the two of you like something to drink?"

Bob and Emily suspected that her parents already assumed they were having a baby. Emily could've told her parents over the phone, after all, Seattle was a long way away, but it just didn't feel right.

"So, what's this news?" Junior inquired.

"Well, we're kind of waiting till Bob's parents arrive."

"Oh, so it's really, really big news." Aggie pushed.

Suddenly the doorbell rang again, saving Bob and Emily from having to answer any difficult questions.

"Oh Sonny hello!" Bob's mother burst as soon as he opened the door. There was no doubting that she knew too.

"Hi Bob, got any scotch?" His father asked.

"No Dad, no scotch." He said.

"Emily!" Martha squealed, reaching for her daughter-in-law.

"Hi Mom." She whispered.

"So." Bob began once they'd all said their greetings.

He and Emily sat on the ottoman together. He placed his hand on her knee. Emily's father cringed a little upon seeing this, sure Bob was a good man, sure he'd let his daughter marry him…but he thought that if he could keep his hands off of her, at least in his presence, that would be great.

"So, we have, we have some news for you." Bob began. Everyone leaned forward, staring almost intently in anticipation. Bob and Emily felt like they were being watched, almost with prying eyes.

"We're going to have a baby!" Emily burst. She said it quickly, hoping to get the pressure off. The room burst with immediate enthusiasm and neither of them knew if this was better or worse than prying eyes.

"I knew it!" Their mothers said at once.

"Finally, a grandson." Junior exclaimed.

"Well actually Dad, Bob wants a girl." Bob felt betrayed by this…he didn't want his mother to know that.

"Bob, why don't you want a little boy?" His mother was saddened.

"Mom, I didn't say I wouldn't want a boy, I just met that I really think it might be nice to have a daughter. Junior, your close with your daughters…I'd like to have a relationship like that." He decided to put it that way.

"I could understand that Bob." He said. Junior Harrison was actually a pretty reasonable guy and Bob was just figuring that out.

"Well I don't." Martha Hartley said.

"Well. We're going to love whatever baby we have, so it's not really a problem." Emily said, kissing Bob sweetly.

Junior saw this too. While he was glad to know his daughter was so happily married, and he wanted to be a grandfather he'd never be okay watching this level of affection between his daughter and son-in-law. No matter how long they were married and how many babies they had, he knew he'd never be comfortable with the idea. Ever. In fact, it was taking quite a bit of strength for him to not be sickened by the news. Emily was his little girl after all. He couldn't believe she was…he couldn't even think it: pregnant. He turned his attention back to Bob's mother who asked:

"Do we know what we're naming the baby yet?"

"Well, Mom it is a little early." Bob said. "We haven't really talked about it."

"What about where you're going to live." Aggie asked.

"Here." Bob told them.

"What?!" Martha and Aggie questioned at once causing Bob and Emily to feel totally overwhelmed.

"We're going to live here." Emily said.

"The den's going to be the baby's uh…den."

Aggie and Martha exchanged horrified glances.

"Bob, Emily, if you need any money to get another place…" Junior offered.

"Wait just a minute!" Bob's father was offended. He'd said nothing until now.

"Mr. Harrison, Dad…we can afford to move, I can buy a house, we're just not…"

"They're just not ready to yet! They like their home, and I must say, so do I!" Bob's father Herb indicated. He kind of wished he lived there. Emily smiled; she loved how her father-in-law was always so supportive in this way.

"But an apartment is no place for a baby to grow up." Martha asserted.

"Martha…" Herb warned. The Harrisons were thinking about this.

"Your right Herb." Junior agreed, "The baby's getting a fine den."

"Thank you Daddy." Emily smiled.

"Now about his name…" Martha began again. Bob liked his mother-in-law and could sense that she had the inclination to roll her eyes.

"If it's a boy, he's Robbie." Emily confessed. She and Bob had decided that several years before when they were trying to have a baby, something that only they, Emily's doctor, (and unbeknownst to Emily) Jerry, knew about.

"Oh Robbie it's so sweet!" Martha squealed.

"It's a great choice." Aggie agreed.

"And for a girl?" Junior asked.

"We'll let you know." Bob was secretly very worried: he had no doubts that the baby would be a girl and they hadn't thought about what to name their daughter at all.

_July 1980_

"Emily."

"Hum?" She asked. Howard and Ellen had left over an hour before and they were in bed reading. She was ingrained in her book and didn't care to talk much more that night.

"I just remembered, you know. Us telling Howard and Ellen and the rest of the family about Meghan…we'd been married: seven years. And people were so surprised…had so many different opinions on everything: what gender she should be, how we should raise her…where….when Ellen tells everyone someone's going to have a heart attack."

"Bob." She laughed, "honey I really don't think it'll be that bad!"

"I do." He said, doubtful of her reassurance.

"Well. I have some quite different news of my own for that evening."

"You do?" He asked, his concern peaked immediately and he hoped she wasn't pregnant herself.

"Yeah. It's great. I would've told you tonight accept Ellen's news kind of commandeered the evening."

"Well I'm all ears." He smiled, noting that she smiled brightly. Hearing some new, different news would be either very exciting or very stressful.

"Guess who the new principal of Tracy Grammar School is Bob!" She smiled.

"Emily you're kidding!" He laughed. "Emily this is just wonderful! Congratulations it's what you've been working for, for so long!" He laughed and kissed her cheek as he hugged her.

"I know. I just don't know if I should take it."

"What? Why?!" Why wouldn't she take it?!

"Well the girls they're so little and it's more work, more hours…I don't know."

"I think you should do it. You deserve it. You'd be wonderful at it Emily. And if I have to I'll work less to stay with the girls."

"Thanks Bob." She smiled. "I'm thinking about it…and don't worry about your sister. She'll be just fine." She kissed him and turned off her light, settling into her pillow. It had been a long day.

"Night Emily." Bob said, doing the same. Emily fell asleep quickly and Bob lye awake and worried. He wasn't so sure everything would turn out okay for Ellen and Howard and was worried that he'd have to deal with the ramifications of the mess they were in.

….

Bridget Hartley squeezed her eyes shut tightly as her sister tried to fit an elastic party hat on her head. She didn't like how the elastic part squeezed under her chin and the hat part kept falling on her face. So she kept taking it off. But then, every time she freed her self of the stupid thing, Meghan, who was bigger, stronger, and more agile, kept putting it back atop of her head. Baby Molly watched this interaction between her two sisters closely with a mix of confusion and horror as she sat in her hi-chair. She hoped her face wasn't next that was for sure.

"Mommy help!" Bridget cried. Emily was in the kitchen putting the last finishing touches on the birthday cake and the snacks. She looked up quickly at her daughter's call of distress.

"Meghan, stop. Would you want somebody doing that to your face?" Emily asked her older daughter. Meghan shook her head and removed the hat from her sister's head, quickly affixing it to her own.

"Srowwy Bwiget…Mommy when do we get to open presents!?" She asked, quickly changing the subject.

"_**Bridget**_," Emily emphasized kindly, "gets to open presents in a couple of hours. Can you go and play in your room for a moment, Mommy's going to feed Molly okay?"

"Okay Mommy." She agreed, getting off the chair next to her sister's and heading back to her own room.

"Is this really what I have to look forward to?" Ellen asked, getting up from the couch where she'd been laying down. She was super queasy because she was nervous in addition to nauseous. She got up and sat where Meghan had been next to Bridget.

"Oh Ellen its not that bad." Emily laughed. "You train them to listen to you early, you teach them right and wrong and love 'em a lot. That's all they need, right Bridgee?" Ellen raised an eyebrow…that was easy for Emily to say. She had the patience for those things. "Are you okay…you look kind of pale?" Emily asked. She'd sat down to try to feed Molly her bottle and put her down for her nap before anyone else arrived.

"I'm going to throw up."

"That's not a big deal…how many times have you thrown up today?" Emily practically laughed.

"It's not funny. It's Mom. She's here. She's in the building."

"Ellen no one's supposed to be here for an hour!"

"Are you kidding: she's coming early." She said. "She knows I'm here and watch she wants to know why."

Emily thought Ellen was being a bit paranoid but didn't say anything more. Martha knew about the wedding after all…just not the baby. Suddenly they heard someone knock on the door. Ellen jumped, her skin momentarily morphing from green to ghost white.

"Hello, girls it's Grandma!"

"See I told you she was here."

"Ellen it's going to be okay. Can you get the door…I've got my hands kind of full here." She said, quietly, indicating Molly who was having her bottle and getting close to drifting off to sleep.

"Okay." Ellen nodded, traveling toward the door.

"Ellen dear!" Her mother burst, hugging her. Ellen didn't rush to hug her but just stood their limp in her arms.

"Hi Mom." Ellen said blandly.

"Hi…oh sweetheart you don't look so good." Martha commented, grabbing both of her daughter's cheeks and studying her face carefully. Whether they got along much didn't matter to Martha, Ellen was still her baby and if she wasn't feeling well she wanted to know why.

"I'm fine Mom." In actuality, the smell of Martha's perfume had traveled up to Ellen's nose, and like almost all sweet scents it was making her come close to throwing up again.

"Where is everyone?"

"What do you mean where…oh." Ellen was mad when she turned around to find that Emily had snuck back into the nursery (former den) in affect, leaving her alone with Martha and Bridget, the birthday girl who'd been left in her own high chair, playing with a block.

"Emily was feeding Molly and putting her down for a nap. Where's Dad?" Ellen asked, going over and picking up Bridget and holding her tight. Bridget loved Ellen and was delighted at the prospect of getting to spend some time in her lap, not realizing her Aunt was merely using her as a defense mechanism.

"He dropped me off. He has something to do and so he'll be back after the party starts."

"Oh…well that's perfect I guess." Ellen figured she should get this over with so that she could throw up or runaway if she wanted to. Martha raised an eyebrow and took a seat on the couch. She knew about the wedding…but what else did she have to say? It was obvious there was something. Ellen hugged Bridget as she sat on the couch. The little girl gripped her Aunt's hands and looked up at her curiously as if she too were anticipating what she had to say.

"Honestly Ellen…You're handling her so well. I didn't think you knew that much about babies. But now that you're finally getting married: and I expect you really are." Ellen laughed nervously and rolled her eyes when her Mom wasn't looking. That had been way too pointed for her taste. "Maybe soon you'll know a thing or two about babies."

"Well Mom actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Does Howard want a baby right away?"

"K-kind of." Ellen suddenly had no idea how she was going to tell her Mom she was already pregnant.

"Well does he or doesn't he? I know it's not you!" Martha laughed as she started to go through the party food Emily had already laid out on the coffee table.

"Mom."

"Hum? What dear?"

"I'm…"

"You're what dear, speak up. I've been telling you that for years."

"Mom. Put your cracker down."

"Oh no, you can't have children, ooh I knew it!"

"No! Mom would you just listen, this is hard enough."

"You know your brother didn't want any either and he has three now…and I bet you soon, Bob and Emily will have their fourth…before you and Howard even have one."

"I wouldn't count on it."

"What, why, what have you heard?!"

"Mom." She began, "Mom. I'm going to tell you the truth. I love Howard very much. I do want to spend my life with him…but I don't really truly want to spend it with anybody and I think you know that. Howard asked me to marry him five years ago and we've been kind of engaged since then and I…"

"I know and for heaven sakes Ellen you're almost common law now!" She chastised. Ellen took a deep breath and decided to power through and ignore her mother's digs.

"Mom look. I have something to tell you and I know you're not going to like this."

"What!" She wasn't going to call off the wedding again, was she?! That would be scandalous!

"Howard and I have been a couple for a very long time now…we almost moved in together five years ago."

"Oh." She was starting to get the point.

"And I finally accepted his proposal only because I'm six weeks pregnant with his twins…and to be honest if it were just one kid: I think I may've tried to do this myself but its not so..."

"Y-your pregnant?"

"Yeah." Ellen admitted. "And I'm sick so, hand me a cracker would you."

Martha handed her daughter a cracker from the table and just stared at her dumbfounded. Pregnant and not married…with twins? Martha took a deep breath.

"Ellen Marie Inez Hartley of all the stubborn irresponsible things you've ever done this one takes the cake! This is scandal! The runaway bride strikes again, only this time she's pregnant!"

Ellen and Bridget were equally startled to hear Martha begin to yell. Ellen held Bridget close to comfort both herself and the scared child. Bridget had never seen her grandmother act like that and buried her head in her Aunt's chest as she began to sob. Emily immediately came out of the nursery, this time without Molly and took Bridget in her arms.

"Shu! Molly's asleep!" Emily cried, cradling her sobbing toddler. "And what is the matter with you! Look what you've done to Bridget! Shu it's okay baby, its gonna be alright birthday girl, yes." She soothed. "And as for your own daughter." Emily began, turning back to Martha, noting that Ellen was crying a little bit. "Sure she's pregnant Martha, but it's not a crime! She's thirty-five! And she's pregnant by a wonderful man, who loves her so deeply he proposed to her practically the moment he laid eyes on her, five years ago!"

"Yes, back when he stole her away from John Tobin!" Ellen laughed. Tobin seemed so far away now. She was in the very least glad that these were Howard's babies and not Tobin's.

"You should admire her, she's a strong, independent woman who wants to do things in a way that's right for her: there's nothing wrong with that. And it took a lot of guts for her to tell you about it!" Emily finished. She was mad. Bridget sucked her thumb and lye snuggled against her mother now.

"It's okay Emily. If she can't see that on her own: I don't care if she ever does." Ellen said solemnly and got up from the couch, slamming the door behind her.

Martha sat, dumbfounded about what had just happened and began to give her relationship with her daughter some serious thought.

Meanwhile Ellen went back to the apartment she was now sharing with Howard and went through her stuff. She was desperate for a cigarette. She was a very occasional smoker and it worked for her: she stopped, throwing her purse back down on the couch and caressing her abdomen softly.

"No…I can't do that to you guys." She paused…why was she talking to them? "Look. I know I haven't been um…super about you being in there but um…let's just get this straight: our relationship is not going to be like that! You and I are going to stick together through thick and thin, you hear me? I'm never going to treat you like that woman in there treats me…and if I ever start to, both of you call me on it okay?"

She smiled to herself, realizing that maybe she wasn't such a lousy mother after all. Her wanting to not be like her own mother was a big commitment in of its self. Ellen stopped talking when someone knocked on the door. "Go away!" She called.

"I thought you'd grown out of being fifteen Ellen!" Martha replied. Ellen rolled her eyes.

"What do you want Mom?" She asked, opening the door.

"Look, Emily's right. You're grown up…quite grown up." She said pointedly. "And while I may disapprove of, of how you got here. I'm happy you're getting married and I like Howard."

"Oh joy." Ellen replied sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

"And Emily wants you to come back to the party."

"I'll do it…but just for Emily and the girls."

"Ellen?' Martha asked her daughter.

"Yeah Mom?"

"Do you think there's a chance you could be having boys?"


	4. Decisions

Chapter 4- Decisions

Ellen found that she was embarrassed when she and her mother walked back into Bob and Emily's apartment. Especially since Emily's anger, or perhaps disgust was evident to her. She sat on the floor by the patio door with Bridget and Meghan who were playing with their dollhouse. Emily knew she'd forgive them. She was just upset that they'd made her two year old cry and on her birthday too.

Emily ran her fingers through Bridget's hair. She'd been really scared for a few moments even after the fighting had stopped and was still a little jumpy. Meghan, on the other hand, had also heard some of the argument. She had a little bit of an idea what was going on and wanted now, to ask questions about it. The three women and two little girls stood there staring, observing an awkward silence between each other that just didn't seem to die.

"Hi everybody!" Howard said cheerfully as he walked through the door. Ellen didn't think he could've possibly had worse timing than this. "Hi honey." He said, kissing Ellen's temple and wrapping his arm around her waist, he then turned to Martha who glared at him in disgust…or maybe anger.

"She knows, Howard."

"Well she got the wedding invitation didn't she? Didn't you Mom?"

"No Howard, uh she knows about the baby."

"Look uh…ah…I uh I didn't mean to get her pregnant, it just…"

"Whose pregnant?" Jerry questioned as he walked in the door.

"Uh…I am Jerry." Ellen said nervously.

"Oh really!"

"Ellen that's wonderful!" Carol smiled.

"Yeah, yeah it's wonderful." Bob agreed, a little sarcastically.

Ellen was hurt and she could feel Howard squeeze her tightly as he held his arm around her. For one split second, as she felt every eye in the room drill almost into her soul, she realized that Howard was in many ways her one true comfort.

"What's the matter with you Martha?" Howard asked, noting something was wrong. Bob was happier about all this than she was and that met something was wrong. "You're getting two new grandkids. I know your crazy about the ones you have."

"What's the matter is that you're not married."

"So what?" Jerry scoffed. "It's the eighties Mrs. Hartley, plenty of people aren't…" Bob looked him in disapproval for saying this to his mother. Even though he was right and he didn't have a problem with it either.

"Look Mom, Ellen and Howard are mature adults. And they're happy together …deal with it." Bob said, noting the completely dejected look on his sister's face. He decided that it was time he stood up for her and his best friend.

"Well if that's the way you feel about it Sonny…"

"Yes Mom. It's- it's the way I feel." He said, reassured when he looked over to see Ellen smiling at him. This was the sweetest thing he'd ever done for her.

"Me too Mom." Emily said, getting up from her place on the floor and putting Bridget on her hip.

"Me too…what are you guys talking about?" Meghan asked.

She wished someone would tell her! Martha looked down surprised at Meghan's reply. She was too little and impressionable, as far as she was concerned, to hear about any of this.

"Yes Mom, that's how I feel." Bob reiterated.

"All of us." Emily added, walking up to Ellen and taking her hand. She squeezed it, appreciating the support.

"Alright then. I'll see you all at the wedding!" Martha said, shutting the door behind her and leaving them all stunned.

…

_**July 1980…The Night Before The Wedding **_

"You doing okay?" Emily asked Ellen.

It was the night before the wedding and Ellen was staying with Emily and the girls while Howard had his bachelor party. Emily watched Ellen carefully as she stared down at the dining room table. She seemed numb…almost as if she were so nervous she was catatonic inside.

"Ellen it's going to be okay." Emily comforted as she rocked Molly.

"No it's not Emily…I have to do it tomorrow I have to get married. Emily it's all I've never wanted!" She told her.

Ellen was scared, sick and tired, and she looked it. She'd stayed with Emily that night in an attempt to have a girl's night with her maid of honor (Emily) and her three flower girls (Meghan, Bridget and Molly). In reality, Emily had decided to keep Ellen there with her until the ceremony just to ensure that she went through with it. She knew that her mother's reaction to all of this had put her even more on edge than she would've been otherwise.

First, Martha had disapproved, gotten angry and left Bridget's party before it really began. Then, just a day later, she called back to apologize and make sure that Ellen knew she was supportive of the marriage. That, of course, is what did it. Ellen had been happy about the wedding for the few hours after the scene her mother caused, and when she found out she was supportive, Ellen once again became upset. She would never want to do anything her mother wanted her to do, after all.

Ellen didn't feel bad about Howard's having a party. She just didn't want a party of her own: she was too unhappy and too pregnant (even though she wasn't really)…it wouldn't be right. Besides, it wasn't like she hadn't had one before. She had a bachelorette party and a wedding rehearsal the night she left John Tobin for Howard… and she'd walked out on both events…and him, just like she wanted so desperately to walk out on this…lovely man: it made her feel awful about herself but relieved at the same time.

"Are you crying?" Emily inquired carefully; she was sitting at the table across from Ellen, feeding Molly.

Ellen nodded. She wasn't crying, she was sobbing now. Ellen wiped away a huge tear as she sniffled, noting that most of her tears fell into the soup she couldn't touch….even though she was starving.

"Ellen…I had no idea you-you felt so strongly about not getting married."

"Emily I…I really don't want to. Please let me go: let me just run away: I don't want to do this!" Ellen begged.

Emily was baffled and didn't really know what to say. Marrying Bob had been one of the best decisions she'd ever made for herself and she couldn't imagine what her life would be like now if she'd begged someone to let her runaway the night before her wedding. Besides. Emily knew that Ellen did really love Howard. She had, once upon a time, broken up an engagement for him after all. And she'd already committed to him: keeping a long term, long distance relationship with him for several years now.

"Ellen: I'm so sorry. But sweetheart…I think you deserve to give him and your married life a chance. You may not want this: but you're getting a sweet guy who loves you in a way women dream of being loved."

"Me give it a chance! Emily he's already driving me crazy. He wants to manage what eat, where I go…he wants to be with me all the time I can't stand it!"

"He loves you! And Bob and I will help…marriage is about communication: and part of that is about learning how to have boundaries with your partner and remain close at the same time…and even grow closer." Ellen looked up, staring at Emily blankly. That seemed so difficult. Too difficult. "It'll work out I promise. Besides: you're pregnant I'm sure he's just worried about you. Bob is always a little clingier and wanting to help me when I'm pregnant."

"Help me?! Emily…at least you have a room to put yours in!"

"Oh that's right." Emily reflected, recalling that Howard's apartment didn't have a den, or an extra bedroom, or even an alcove to put the twins in.

"Emily I know he's scatter brained but…he suggested we put the babies on the patio…you don't think he really thought that that was okay, do you?!" Emily could tell she was highly alarmed by this.

"No." Emily laughed. "He's just nervous, I wouldn't worry honey."

"I just hope you're right."

….

"Mommy, what's wrong with Aunt Ellen?" Meghan asked quietly so her Aunt couldn't hear. She'd walked into the kitchen and tugged on her mother's skirt. Emily could see Ellen, curled up and miserable on the couch, from her place washing dishes.

"What do you mean, baby?" Emily tried to sound ignorant.

"She's sick and just sitting there. Does she have the flu?"

"Oh, honey." Emily laughed, getting on her knees and putting her hands on Meghan's hips. "Honey since you're my big girl, I'm going to tell you the truth, okay?" Meghan nodded as her Mother began to talk. "She doesn't have the flu, honey, she's just a little nervous about getting married tomorrow and she's having a baby."

"Oh!?" Suddenly a lot made sense to Meghan.

"Yeah a little baby cousin, won't that be fun angel?" Three-year-old Meghan nodded.

"Is it Uncle Howard's baby too?" Meghan was smart and would never have suspected anything else.

"Yes Meghan." She admitted.

"But Mommy she's not married." Meghan whispered.

"They're getting married in the morning." Emily reminded.

"But why is she sick, she should be happy?"

"Well, remember when Mommy had Molly in her tummy and she was really sick and miserable?" Meghan nodded. Emily was impressed that Meghan remembered this. She'd been very tiny, only Bridget's age when she was first expecting Molly. "That's kind of what tends to happen when you're having a baby.

But you get over it after the first couple of months. She'll be okay soon. Hey, you wanna go give her a hug?" Meghan nodded. "Okay, go give her a hug and don't let your sisters or anybody else know about this right now."

"Not even Bridget."

"Especially not Bridget." Meghan laughed as her mother said this.

"What about Molly? She won't tell anybody."

Emily laughed.

"No, keep this a secret darling. Can you remember what a secret is?"

"Shu!" Meghan burst excitedly.

"Yes that's right. Shu!" She kissed her cheek and sent her off to comfort Ellen.

Emily watched as Meghan crawled onto the couch and into her Aunt's arms.

"Don't be scared." Meghan whispered.

"Thanks Meghan." Ellen hugged her, realizing the little girl must know the reality of her situation. "You're going to have a baby cousin."

"I know, and I think it's really neat."

"You do, huh?" She asked, running her fingers through Meghan's dark brown hair.

Ellen noticed that Meghan had inherited Emily's dark hair, smile and blue eyes among other things…she was the spitting image of her Mom. Ellen then began to wonder what her baby would get from her, or from Howard…it was kind of amazing. This fact kept her in awe for the rest of the night as she held Meghan and eventually fell asleep on the couch with her.

….

"Ellen dear don't forget to…" Ellen drowned out the rest of her mother's sentence. She'd been hearing too much of her mother's voice that day.

After hours of considerable effort, Ellen had finally escaped the little bridal room in the church. She'd been trapped there all day with her nagging mother, annoyingly reassuring sister-in-law, and three baby nieces. It was too much to handle and she needed some time to think before the ceremony, even though she was wearing this ridiculous dress, which was white, no less.

Ellen snuck around the corner and looked every which way as she walked through the halls of the church. The last thing she needed was for someone to find her and take her back to her mother. Ellen sighed when she found a quiet place behind the sanctuary where she could have a minute to collect herself and just be. She closed her eyes, drawing a deep breath.

"Ellen." Came a familiar, yet prying masculine voice…and it wasn't Howard's.

"John!" She gasped. It was John Tobin, her ex-fiance, the one she'd left for Howard several years before.

"Hi." He smiled.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ellen why are you marrying that goon instead of me!"

"He's not a goon." She defended. "He's just Howard."

"Well why: I know your not the marrying type, run away with me we'll go all the places you've always wanted to go." He suggested, reaching out to grab her hand.

"John no, no. It's not that simple."

"You can't tell me you're in love with that…"

"Wait a minute!" She protested. "He has his faults but…yeah I…"

"Ellen really, I'll make you happy. Runaway with me."

Ellen was terrified. The last thing she wanted was to runaway with him. If she left Howard, she'd do it all by herself.

"John. I'm pregnant, with twins." She confessed quietly.

"You're what!"

"Shoo!" Ellen quieted.

"Ellen that's why you're marrying him…you're not a kid person."

This is one reason that Ellen had left John for Howard. He didn't listen to her. Sure she wasn't so keen on settling down, but she'd always wanted to have a child and she told him that when they were engaged.

"That's okay. It's just a minor detail we'll work out!"

"John! These are my children! They're not a minor detail to be worked out!" She was fuming mad now. Attacking her commitment to Howard was one thing, attacking the twins and her commitment to them was quite another.

"So you're seriously staying. You love this man enough to have his children but not me enough to…"

"Oh no." Ellen considered.

She was stuck in her own mind now. John was a narcissist anyway and didn't need to be acknowledged. Only her own realizations mattered now.

"What?" He questioned.

"I-I really do love him. I mean, really, really love him. I mean…John, days without you…they went by like regular days. But days without Howard: I miss him. I felt free when I left you but…when I think about leaving him…I feel less encumbered maybe….but also…totally empty inside." She confessed more to herself than to him. "I mean…I still don't want to marry him or anyone but…he's worth it because at least unlike you, I love him back! And without him, I'm going to have this huge gaping hole inside forever. Excuse me." She said, picking up her dress so she wouldn't walk on it and began to get up.

"Do you mean that Ellen?" Howard asked, peeking out from behind the door where he'd been hiding. She gasped and smiled, happy to just see him appear to her, especially in the presence of John, which was a little bit intimidating.

"Oh Howard, every word of it and more: lets go get married."

….

"I think having twins will be really unique." Ellen considered, she was half asleep and lye her head against Howard's chest.

They were on an airplane on their way to Rome. He played with her wedding ring, his hand intertwined with hers. He loved that they were together, finally and couldn't get enough of it.

"Maybe they'll love each other like Bob and I did." She offered, reflecting on how much she'd loved her big brother and that she wanted to have a boy and a girl.

"What about like you and me?"

"Howard they're brother and sister and we're husband and wife!"

"Oh, wait…yeah." He considered. He didn't want to talk about the babies right then, just about them. Acting dumb was his way of steering the conversation more to his own liking. "Wow I can't believe you're my wife." He smiled leaning in to kiss her. He stopped and studied her face looking into her eyes, carefully caressing her cheek as his lips hovered gently over hers and then slowly engaged them.

…..

"Emily what's wrong with you?" Bob asked as he climbed into bed.

He sensed that she was upset, but he was jubilant. His sister had gotten married without incident. In fact it was a perfect wedding by all counts and now he just wanted to go to bed and end the day before something messed it all up.

"Oh Bob I don't know. I'm still thinking…"

"Oh about the job."

"Yeah." She smiled. "I want it. And I mean I really want it Bob."

Being principal would eliminate the part of the job she hated, dealing with problemed students and parents. She'd be strictly administrative…and ultimately have a chance at getting an even better job one day.

"But…we worked so hard on having a family. You remember Bob, seven years ago when I was subbing and it was just temporary until we had a baby…and then we didn't have a baby until I became a vice principal…you know honestly Bob…I don't know if I want to keep the job I have. Our baby girls are so important to me and I want to be with them. One of them cries every time I leave for work, if not all three of them: and I feel guilty…and sad. Meghan always says she misses me and begs me not to leave her and I hate it. It breaks my heart!"

"We've had this conversation before." He reminded.

"Several times." She admitted. "The first was all the way back when I was pregnant with Meghan…why did I stay again, when I had a brand new baby? And why did I come back after having a second and a third?" She wasn't sure and hadn't been even when she'd done it.

"Because you love your job." He said, turning out the lights. He could tell she was still indecisive and he was anxious to get some sleep. He was, among other things, exhausted.

"Yeah, yeah I do." She agreed just for the sake of agreeing and turned out the light. "Bob." She said. "What if we have another one?"

"Another what?" He was alarmed. He sat back up and turned the light on.

"Another baby."

"Emily. No. We have three, all born in the last four years." He reminded. Molly was six months old; Bridget and Meghan had each been about that age when Emily had gotten pregnant again.

"Of course not but, what if we did. You know in the future." She questioned.

"You're, you're sure you're, you're not..." He wanted her to promise.

"Very. We haven't been doing anything Bob." She smiled.

"Yeah that, that's right. What did you mean by a fourth then?"

"In the future or if it's too much to handle with the three of them or…"

"Emily take the job….if you don't like it, quit." He said, turning off the light again and laying back down. "Night Emily."

Emily paused for a moment and turned on the light again, "But Bob, I also like the job I have."

"How about this; I'll get us some coffee, I think maybe this is going to be a long, long night."


	5. Howard Borden Sells His Mercedes

Chapter 5- Howard Borden Sells His Mercedes

_**September 1976**_

"So, are you going to start on the nursery soon?" Bob asked.

He was a little nervous to ask her about this, having spent the baby's money.

"Yeah." She began. He could tell something was on her mind too by the way that she didn't look up at him and instead focused on the dishes she was picking up. "Yeah I uh already ordered some things they should be here soon."

Work would start on the nursery in the morning, but she didn't want him to know that because she had something more pressing on her mind.

"Bob…I've kind of been thinking….I really do want to move." Emily continued.

Their parents had just left and she'd been thinking about what their Mothers had said about raising a baby in an apartment. They were right, it was impersonal, there was no yard, there were no other babies around for hers to play with…

"What! Why?" He asked suddenly, his tone revealing that he felt betrayed.

"Well Bob, it's just…what your Mother said, it's true. An apartment isn't a place to raise a baby."

"Emily, it's our home we love it here don't we?"

"Yes of course Bob."

"Well it's our baby she'll be home wherever we're home."

"But Bob they're right." She began, "There's no place for our baby to meet other babies."

"It's called a park Emily."

"It's not permanent Bob…"

"_We've_ lived here six years and remodeled the place twice." He pointed out.

"Bob, there's no yard!"

"Emily we have a lake!" He exclaimed, gesturing toward their patio, which overlooked Lake Michigan.

"Her room doesn't have a door!"

"She's a baby, what does she need a door for?!"

…

_**October, 1980**_

That conversation still bothered Emily four years later. Bob didn't want to move, even now that they had three babies living together in the den with no door. Every time Emily brought it up, he would offer the same three excuses to push the discussion off into an ambiguous future date. First he always reminded her that the girls were little and slept with them half the time any way, so they didn't need a door. Second, it was a big room and the girls had plenty of space, which wasn't true. Third, while they didn't have their own door, they did have their own bathroom.

Emily was spending the afternoon with Howard and Ellen, helping to try and get a nursery of some kind started for the twins in Howard's tiny bachelor pad. She was now to the point of covering her ears. Their arguing made her thankful for her own problem of just not being able to get Bob to move. Moreover, she couldn't believe Ellen was five months pregnant and still trying to fight this marriage thing.

"Stop!" Emily yelled, causing Howard and Ellen's bickering to come to a standstill. "What's the matter with the two of you? This is about the twins it isn't about you!"

"I guess maybe we are being a bit selfish, huh?" Ellen admitted. Howard nodded, taking her hand.

Emily was resentful; they'd been driving her crazy for the last forty-five minutes, refusing to decide on anything logical. They had been arguing about everything, even things that had nothing to do with finding a place for the babies to sleep. For example, Howie who was now sixteen, was very displeased that his father had married Ellen and even more upset that he was about to have twins with her. He had made Ellen cry the last time he'd visited, and Howard had refused to say anything to him about it. Ellen was still crushed over the fact that he wouldn't set his son straight; defend their marriage and their unborn babies. Howard, on the other hand, was more afraid of Howie's reaction.

"Yes you're being selfish, and if you really don't think you can fit a nursery in this apartment, which I can tell you right now _**you can't**_ then you should move!" Emily was jealous; she wanted to move in the worst way.

"Move?" Howard questioned. He and Ellen looked at each other, confused as if the idea was completely conceptually foreign to them.

"Yes! You need a bigger place. Can't you see that?"

"I guess she's right." Ellen considered. Emily could tell she didn't want to admit this.

"Yeah…" Howard said, beginning to look around his apartment. He didn't really want to leave it. "We should buy a house."

"How about a bigger apartment Howard, that's perfect for me." The idea of a house scared Ellen. It was too much, too big, too permanent….it was something that signaled this was all a commitment or something.

"Why not, a house would be great?" Howard asked, causing Emily to groan she knew Ellen would protest and it would cause yet another fight.

Howard on the other hand was enthused, he hadn't lived in a house for years: since he and Lois got divorced, and he thought it might be nice to have a yard…and a dog or something. Emily felt awful that Ellen was complaining about getting a house. She wanted one so much and she knew it wasn't going to happen.

"And one more thing while I'm at it." Emily began.

"Yes Emily." Howard acknowledged.

"Howard. You need to get a new car."

"A new car!" Howard was clearly upset.

"Yes."

"She's right Howard." Ellen had been saying this.

"Emily I can't believe you brought this up!" Howard felt betrayed and was

mad at her now.

"Howard she's right. We can't fit even one baby, let alone twins in your two seated Mercedes."

"But Ellen I love that car!" He cried.

Emily was thankful that at least Bob had conceded to buying a bigger car when she had Molly. She was even more thankful when she heard Molly begin to cry through the baby monitor, she wanted out of there because she was about to cry. Sometimes she hated Martha Hartley just a little…what was it about her that had made her children so stubborn?! Or was it Herb's fault? Emily was frustrated and sad. She left the apartment without saying anything, slamming the door behind her.

"I guess we really made her mad." Howard said. "You know, with our indecisiveness and the arguing."

"I think we're making ourselves mad too. Howard I'm not a house person." She was thinking that she wasn't a cage person.

"Not a house person but Ellen…" He was going to complain about his beloved convertible.

"Really Howard…maybe some day, but not now there's so much to learn and get used to, I don't know if I can handle getting used to taking care of a house in addition to taking care of twins and being with you…it's a lot for me." It was too much for her, but she wasn't going to say that. Not right then.

"Well…I guess you've got a point." He was disappointed, but understood. "Come on." He took her hand in his own and pulled her up off the couch.

"Where are we going?"

"Downstairs, to see if there's anything down the hall." This pleased Ellen and she smiled, following him out the door.

Meanwhile Emily was next door and had just picked Molly up.

"Sweetheart, it's alright. Did you have a nice nap darling?" She asked, trying anxiously to soothe the crying baby so she wouldn't wake her sisters in the other room, something that always seemed to happen when Molly woke up from her nap, specifically because the apartment was too small for five people.

Instead of quieting down like her mother wanted, Molly continued to sob.

"Shu, shu Molly, it's okay, what's wrong with you huh, Molly Claire Hartley, huh?" Emily soothed, "Sweetheart, what's the….matter…Hi Bob."

"Hi honey, what's wrong with Molly?"

"I don't know but maybe Daddy can calm her down before she wakes up her sisters." He smiled at this, and took the baby from her.

"Or maybe the whole floor."

"Bob uh…that's just what I wanted to talk to you about." She said, walking into the kitchen and beginning to make some coffee: this conversation needed coffee.

"What?" He asked softly, looking down at Molly whose tears had come to a gentle stop.

"Well I spent some time today with Howard and Ellen…about where to put their nursery."

"How about where the dining room table is, they always eat over here anyway." Bob suggested.

"And I finally, after a lot of bristling, I made them understand that they need to move." Bob frowned, he knew where this was going.

"Emily this is different, ours have their own…"

"I know Bob they have their own room and their own bathroom."

"Well they do."

"Bob it's too small a space, I'm getting claustrophobic with all of us and you know they're just going to keep getting bigger and one day they'll be my size and in high school. Do you think five grown people can live in three rooms Bob?"

He could tell she was frustrated.

"No." He had to admit.

"Exactly! Especially two grown ups and _**three**_ teenaged girls."

"T-teenaged girls?" He asked nervously, looking down at the sweet little baby in his arms, he hadn't thought about the fact that his babies were going to turn into teenagers…at least not for a while.

"Yes Bob. We _**need**_ to move."

"Yeah but uh but we're not moving right, right now."

"Oh I see." Emily laughed, putting down the coffee she'd begun making and walking toward the door. "You're going to wait till when…"

"Emily. Why are you putting your coat on?"

"You're going to wait until Bridget's freshman year of high school and suddenly decide that our teenagers are too big for their door less room, right…" Emily laughed as she grabbed her purse. He could tell she was seething mad. She slammed the door behind her when she left.

"Move when they're in high school! That's exactly when I wouldn't want them to have a door!" Bob called down the hallway; Emily ignored him and simply continued walking toward the elevator.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Meghan and Bridget cried as they stumbled into the living room, rubbing their eyes. It was obvious to Bob that they'd been woken up and scared by the slamming of the door.

"Oh my girls come here, it's okay." He soothed.

Bob felt bad about this, but he really didn't want to move. On the other hand, she'd been consistent on this point for years now. So much was changing, and the girls were getting bigger everyday. Bridget had just started sleeping in a bed instead of a crib, causing even him to note that the den was getting smaller. Maybe it was time for him to give in.

…

Howard looked down at two sets of keys in the palm of his hand. He was frustrated with Ellen. She was acting like this was only a sacrifice on her part, but in reality he was giving up so much to be with her and have these babies: his apartment, his car…and risking his relationship with his son too. Howard swallowed, thinking that he was going to cry. He had, that afternoon, to give up both the keys in his hands, although he was trading, not giving up.

First he was getting the key to the new apartment, a one bedroom with a den: just like Bob and Emily's. Then he was trading in his beloved convertible…for a station wagon. While he wanted a house, 2.5 kids and a dog, he dreaded the station wagon part…at least it was still going to be a Mercedes. Finally, when all that was finished, he was going to talk to Howie...after giving him his driving lesson of course. Ellen was right that he shouldn't be allowed to treat her like that, especially given that she was pregnant, and with his little siblings. He wanted to defend the woman he loved, but he was so afraid of loosing his son's love forever.

Meanwhile, Emily sat in the park alone. She wrapped her coat around her tightly. She just wanted to sit there and think. How could Bob, who was such a responsible person be so irresponsible…downright childish when it came to this moving thing? There was only one other thing he'd done like this in their married lives, but even that he'd confessed to and made up for. As far as she was concerned, refusing to move was far worse than spending the baby's money.

_**October, 1976**_

"Emily uh…I have something to uh, to tell you." Bob confessed, as soon as he walked in the door.

"What?" Her blue eyes flashed with alarm. She hoped his confession wasn't life changing. Too much was changing right now, including the fact that she knew she'd be starting to show very soon.

"Emily, I uh…" He paused and sat down next to her. "Emily I…in July, so three months ago, long before I knew you were pregnant." He reminded. "I made an investment."

"An investment?" She was confused. "Bob what…"

"It was with Mr. Carlin." He explained.

"Oh." She paused, seeming rattled by this. "Bob uh…did it flop?"

"No. No it it'll just be a while before it pays out. The problem is where I got the money for it."

"Oh!" Her eyes lit up. That big deficit in the account made sense now.

"Emily, I used a chunk of our baby's money to make this investment….and I'm so, so sorry I didn't have any idea there was going to be a baby you know, ever, let alone right right now. Otherwise I wouldn't have invested in a building…I would've bought a crib."

"Oh honey." She sighed.

"Emily, I love you and I love our baby and the last thing on earth I wanna do is hurt either of you or let you down. And here we are, just a couple of months in and I'm already a rotten father."

"Oh Bob!" She squealed, hugging him tightly. "You're going to be a wonderful Daddy, I have no doubts about that." He smiled again, happy that she'd clearly forgiven him for his mistake.

"I really, really love you Emily."

"I really, really love you too darling." She said as they kissed.

"Have you thought, Emily about how fundamentally our lives are going to change?" He had, that was why he'd been so worried about the money.

"Of course I have." She giggled. "I'm the one having the baby."

"It's all awesome and completely terrifying." He laughed nervously, afraid Emily might not know what he met.

"Yes it is!' She confessed as he kissed her. "Bob."

"Hum."

"I started on our baby's nursery today."

"You did! But what about the money?"

"It's okay. I found other money, and it got here."

"What got here? Not the baby." He joked.

"No." She laughed. "The crib."

"Oh…well that is something extra special. Where is it?"

"It's in our room."

"What?!"

"Well, the nursery is a mess and things are being painted and moved and besides, the baby will need to be near me when she's tiny anyway."

"That's true. You're very excited aren't you?"

"Just bursting." She confided. "You wanna come and see it?"

"Sure Emily. I'd love to see it."

"I mean, I know it's a little early for this sort of thing, but uh…Bob I couldn't wait. I wanted reminders, and to be ready early and…" Bob cut her off, beginning to kiss her instead. He cupped her face in the palm of his hands. She sighed, simply hugging him when their kiss broke, and laying her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead and finally holding her head in his hands.

"You're such a sweet man." She said.

"I love you." He replied simply.

"I love you too." She hugged him then grabbed his hand again, pulling him into their room.

"Wow." He said at the sight of their baby's crib.

"I know, it is a wow, isn't it Bob?" She asked, peering over the crib's railing, she began to cry a little.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"Nothing, just…we've waited so long for this and here we are."

…..

_**October 1980**_

Emily smiled when she recalled sharing Meghan's crib with Bob for the first time. He did love them and he didn't want to hurt them or let them down. In fact she knew he'd always done everything he could to prevent that from happening. She supposed, as she walked back home, ready to forgive him once again, that he was merely still afraid of some of that terrifying change that accompanied parenthood. She was too still.

Everyone was there when Emily got home.

"Mommy!" Meghan squealed, throwing down her toys and running for her Mom.

"Hello precious." Emily smiled, lifting her daughter into her arms and kissing her.

"Hi Emily." Howard, Ellen and Howie greeted. She was surprised to see the teen sitting at her dining room table with his stepmother.

"Hi Emily. I uh…I made dinner." Bob said, following Meghan. He was surprised when Emily allowed him to kiss her cheek.

"Thanks Bob." She smiled.

"You're not mad at me?" He asked.

"Well a little but I think I understand."

"I'm, I'm ready to, to start talking."

"Talking?" Emily questioned, putting Meghan down on the floor.

"About moving you uh you made a lot of sense earlier today."

"Oh!" She smiled, she was delighted by this. "Oh Bob!" She giggled throwing her arms around him.

Emily was thankful but still kept her little plan of action in mind. If she didn't move, she'd force him to have to: she'd get pregnant again. They couldn't fit a fourth baby in the den under any circumstances. She would wait another year or so to do this, but only if he refused to get her a bigger place by then.

"Everyone we have a little announcement." Howard began, ready to disclose it now that Emily was there.

"It's not triplets, is it Dad?" Howie asked.

"No Howie." Ellen laughed.

"Are you sure?" Meghan asked, her little blue eyes growing wide. She did not know what triplets were.

"Yes we're sure."

"We got a new place!" Emily was surprised that Howard was excited.

"You did, really?" This made Bob nervous, it was like it was putting pressure on him to have to move no matter what. He would move immediately if he had any idea of Emily's plan to have another baby.

"Yeah and here's the greatest part we're right next door."

"Next door?" Bob asked. "Howard, your already next door.

"That's the best part Bob! We're moving to the other next door."

"Well that's great you guys are moving even closer." Emily smiled.

Howard led Bob, Emily and the girls over to see their new place. Ellen was a little tired and elected to stay sitting at the dining room table.

"Ellen uh…I'm really sorry." Howie began.

"You mean that?" She asked.

"Well yeah. You're my kid sibling's Mom…and my Dad's crazy about you…and you didn't do anything to me, if anything you've tried really hard and I've rejected you…you didn't deserve for me to treat you that way."

"Thank you Howie. And more than helping me, you're helping the twins." She smiled.

"Yeah that's kind of neat…can we start over?" He asked. He wondered, given their troubled relationship, if this was possible.

"Sure." She smiled.

She was happy and touched by this, well relieved actually. Maybe being able to have a decent relationship with her sixteen-year-old stepson would ensure that she'd have an okay relationship with her natural children, something she wasn't too sure of but whatever the case, this was a good step. She took a deep breath, not knowing that she, Bob, Emily and Howard had all taken huge strides in growing up that day.


	6. Just another marathon weekend

Chapter 6- Just another marathon weekend in the lion's cage

_**November 1980**_

"Emily, I told you last time. A lion tamer doesn't take his family into the cage with him. And this time we'd be bringing family…in the true sense of the word. I agree we need a family trip…but Emily this…this just isn't it."

"Oh please sweetie. The girls and I would love to get away for a few days. We're here in the apartment, and at the playground most of the time. It would be good for us to really get out." What Emily really meant was that she was spending a lot of time helping Ellen out and that Ellen was driving her completely crazy.

"Remember how miserable you were last time? This time you'll be miserable, but with babies to take care of, and I won't be able to help."

"But Bob, I haven't been able to go in years. The year after I went I was too mad to go, then I was pregnant, then I was pregnant again, then the girls were too small, then I was pregnant again…and now I wanna go."

"Even though you have work the girls are still too small."

"Seems like as good a time as ever."

"Emily, what if we're up there and something happens with one of the kids, what then?"

"Honey will you stop worrying." She laughed.

"What about the girls? What are you going to do with two toddlers and a baby up in the woods?"

"Go for walks."

"What about bears?"

"Honey there won't be any bears, you're being silly."

"What about feeding the girls, they're toddlers, they're picky eaters." As of late, picky eating had almost been as big of crisis as bears in their house.

"I'll bring a little picnic basket with me."

"Yeah, that Yogi and Boo-Boo can take from you." Bob joked.

"Honey, it's not going to be that dangerous."

"And the cabin."

"Suite."

"Cabin, as far as everyone else is concerned." Bob carefully reminded, recalling the last time she went on the trip with him and everyone had been mad that they'd had a suite. "The cabin will only have one bed and just a fireplace for heat."

"So, we'll get in bed just us and our girls and we'll have a fire for warmth. And you know what Bob, we'll bring the playpen, they can sleep in that." Emily said enthusiastically, seeming to believe all their problems were solved.

"Hi Bob, hi Emily." Howard said excitedly as he burst into the apartment.

"Hi Howard. Are you and Ellen still coming for dinner?" Bob inquired.

"Yeah…or at least I think so…she's behind me, down the hall."

Emily was distraught at this. Why had Howard left his poor pregnant wife to waddle down the hall by herself? Ellen was only six months, miserable and looked very much like Emily had at nine months.

"Howard, why would you leave her down the hall?" Bob asked, this…peaked his interest also, actually it made him a little angry.

"Because it'll take her forever to get here Bob!"

"Well, I guess I won't ask her to water our plants while we're away." Emily laughed as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Away? Where are you guys going?" Howard was anxious for a moment. What if he had to fly?! He couldn't leave Ellen alone when she was so pregnant and worse, he couldn't be left alone with her!

"We're going to the mountains…it's a retreat, or uh what we call a marathon for a couple of my groups."

"And for once the girls and I get to go!" Emily smiled as she placed a hot serving dish on the table and the three of them sat down. Suddenly they became acutely aware of Ellen's absence once again.

"We've got to go with you Bob."

"With us?" Emily questioned.

"With them where?" Ellen asked as she finally walked through the door.

Howard jumped up to help her into her chair. She rolled her eyes. It wasn't good enough that he was helping her just now that she'd walked in the room.

"To the marathon!" Howard told her.

"Uh-Howard…" Bob began, he had multiple reservations about this.

"Marathon?" Ellen questioned. She couldn't walk down a hallway at a normal pace, how did he expect her to run a marathon?

"Ellen it's the retreat in the mountains Bob's having for his patients. Me and the girls are going." Emily explained.

"Oh…oh! Howard, that would be wonderful!"

"W-w-wonderful?" Bob choked.

"Yeah. Oh Bob I'd love to go. I think a little fresh air and getting some time to relax would do me a world of good."

"I-i-it would?"

"Yeah." She smiled.

Bob had been hungry before but now he just sat there and watched his sister eat. She'd had a difficult six months and he knew things weren't exactly going to get easier on her anytime soon. There was an extra room and he knew he had to concede to letting her go on the trip.

Emily, in the meantime, was mad at him.

"You wouldn't let me go when I was six months pregnant Bob!" Emily nagged, folding her arms and staring out defiantly into the woods as they drove.

"Emily that was…"

"That was no different and that was just a year ago!"

"Twee!" Bridget giggled excitedly.

"Yes sweetheart, lots and lots of trees." Emily acknowledged as Bridget pointed outside. "What do you think Meghan honey?" Emily asked.

Meghan sneezed.

"Awe honey are you okay?" Emily asked sweetly.

"See Emily, I told you one of them was going to get sick."

"She's not sick Bob…its just a little sneeze." She said. "Isn't that right Meghan? Can't you promise Daddy it's just a sneeze and not a cold?"

"I'm good Daddy."

"Well, okay, as long as you can promise." Bob rolled his eyes.

"Bob you're being paranoid…and you were being paranoid when you wouldn't let me come all those times because I was pregnant!"

Bob sighed. The place they went to on this retreat was far from the city, far from anything and there was almost no way to get help if it was needed. He thought bringing small children and pregnant women out there was idiotic.

Bob was also nervous about the other reason he hadn't wanted to bring his family. Most of his patients, almost all excepting Mr. Peterson, didn't have husbands, wives or children and he didn't want to rub in the fact that he did. He knew that by bringing his toddler girls and beautiful wife he ran the risk of doing that. Worse: bringing extended family was just like rubbing salt in a wound.

After all, some of his patients loved children and never had their own, he didn't want to hurt or offend them with the presence of his family. Bob was also worried about Mr. Vikars, who had children of his own, but hated all children. Would Bridget and Meghan's presence on the trip anger him? He knew that it would delight their sometime babysitter Mrs. Bakerman, who loved the girls.

"Emily…I just don't think that its safe: alright?" He admitted.

"What, where we're going Bob?"

"Being out that far with babies and toddlers and pregnant women…there's no help if something goes wrong."

"I'm telling you, you're worrying too much." Emily laughed.

In reality, Bob was more worried about his sister than he'd really ever been about his wife when she was having a baby. Emily had had morning sickness, and some back pain, but everything else had gone well otherwise and that was not the case with Ellen. She was having twins and was high risk to begin with.

"Emily you just…you're better at being pregnant than Ellen is."

"I think it has something to do with having twins Bob."

"Auntie miserable." Meghan interjected from the backseat.

"Meghan how'd you know that?" Bob asked.

"I heard her say it….what's it mean?"

"Honey it means she feels awful." Bob explained.

"Oh!" Meghan was clearly saddened by this. Bob looked at her little eyes through the rearview mirror and felt bad at how sad they looked.

"She'll be alright sweetheart." Bob comforted, quickly seeing the concern on his Meghan's face fade. In that instant, Bob's own concern for his sister faded a little. He was right: she would be fine.

….

Ellen was beginning to give, this whole marathon thing second thoughts. It was freezing, her back was killing her and she had to walk all this way from the car to this little cabin to sit with what…Bob and at least 12 other people…and one of them was Mr. Carlin. She'd just wanted to get to her room and relax and read and sleep and have Howard rub her feet.

"What's the matter with the two of you, marriage not working out?" Elliot asked Howard and Ellen, noting that they looked kind of upset and tired. He'd expected this much.

Ellen was angry about this comment, even though she knew how Mr. Carlin was…things were just starting to feel right then he had to go and put the idea that they weren't right out there.

"No we're having twins!" Howard exclaimed.

"Things are fine, thank you Mr. Carlin." Ellen finished.

"No they're not. I can tell by the looks on your faces: you're in trouble."

"Oh yeah!" Howard challenged.

"Yeah, I bet you won't last the year."

"Yeah!" Howard continued.

"Howard, don't get upset you know how he can be."

"Get upset! I'm not getting upset!" Howard was offended, she was always accusing him of things like this.

"Yes you are." She laughed.

"See." Elliot laughed. "I proved my point."

"Mr. Carlin, Howard…enough." Bob said, he was just about to speak.

"Looser." Carlin said under his breath.

"You're wearing a rug!" Howard spat back. Ellen rolled her eyes, that one was obvious, too obvious. Bob cleared his throat.

"So." He emphasized, hoping Howard and Elliot would get the hint and shut up. "We're going to have our first session at 11:30 that's in an hour, and for now we're here to-to go over room assignments."

The patients were resentful as Bob began to go over the room assignments. There were five cabins on the property, distributed as follows: one cabin for meetings, one for the women, one for the men, one for the Hartley's and one for the Borden's.

"Howard, Ellen, yours is uh, on the top of that great big hill." Bob informed as he handed Howard the key. Ellen groaned and got up so she could start her long hike up the hill.

"It's okay Ellen I'll carry you." Howard exclaimed, as he followed her out the door and back into the snow.

"I'll bet theirs is a suite too!" Mr. Vickers sneered as he too left the communal cabin. He'd stayed just so he could say that and Bob knew it.

Bob and Emily were alone with the girls now.

"Emily this is going to be a long weekend." Bob rubbed his temple. This was another reason he didn't like it when family came on the marathon.

"It's okay Bob, come on, let's go up to our suite, I think the girls will really like it." So far the three had been fascinated by everything they'd seen on this little adventure and wouldn't sit still.

"We might as well. And remember Emily, it's not a suite…it's a room."

….

"What are you guys doing here?" Bob raised an eyebrow as Howard and Ellen sat down, group was just about to begin.

He figured his vapid minded friend and very pregnant sister would want to get some rest, maybe watch some television, not join his group. In reality, Howard and Ellen were there because they thought this would be compelling. Ellen planned to write human interest articles from home as a freelancer after the twins were born and hoped that attending group might give her some good ideas.

"We wanted to watch the crazies Bob." Howard whispered. That was his reasoning for showing up.

"They're not crazy." He corrected, looking up as Mr. Carlin sat down across from him.

"What are you two doing here? Oh wait, I get it. Told you your marriage was in trouble." Carlin laughed.

"At least I'm divorced!" Howard replied. Ellen rolled her eyes, it was both funny and annoying how he'd un-prove his point like that. In reality, he hit a soft spot for Elliot, who would've much rather been divorced than a bachelor and often told the women he dated that he was indeed divorced.

"Elliot your such a jerk." Michelle accused as she took her seat next to him. She bit into a candy bar and Ellen observed that she was eating her feelings.

"Well what about the two of you?" Howard asked, turning the tables. Bob looked at him quizzically wondering what he was talking about.

"Us?" Carlin was confused as well.

"Huh?" Michelle asked.

"Aren't the two of you together?"

"Me, with her?" Elliot laughed.

He felt it was in his best interest to never entertain an idea like this, hurting others kept him from getting hurt himself. Michelle felt the same, although she sometimes admitted to herself that she didn't think Elliot was all that horrible.

"He's not my type. Too egotistical, like my father…and then there's the rug…"

"Hey!"

"Why-uh-why don't we get started?"

Bob felt it would be best to move on from this conversation as soon as possible, although he understood why Howard may have mistaken Elliot and Michelle for a couple. In a world gone mad, where the two were normal, well-adjusted people, they would make a good match. Elliot, on the other hand, thought the same thing about Howard and Ellen.

"Mrs. Bakerman." Bob called the old woman to attention and she looked up from her knitting. "Would you uh. Would you like to start?"

"No, but I would like to hear from the young couple, about to have a baby…that seems interesting."

"Us?" Howard laughed nervously. "Bob…" He leaned over and whispered. "We're not crazy."

"No one here is crazy Howard." Bob reminded.

"Crazy is a judging word Howard." Mr. Plagar reminded.

"Judging, I'm not judging anyone…aren't you the gay guy?"

"Okay. I think we better uh…go, come on Howard." Ellen said, taking his hand and beginning to get up out of her seat.

"No I wanna stay!"

"Alright then Howard but, uh…I think you better just listen okay? Anyone else want to say anything?"

"How about they introduce themselves?" Mr. Peterson chimed. The rest of the group agreed and began to insist on this, they were, in truth all bored with each other and wanted to hear about these strangers.

"Well uh, this is my sister Ellen, and her husband Howard."

"Hi Ellen and Howard." Everyone greeted at once, all accept Elliot Carlin of course.

"So, what is it that's making you have such a crappy marriage?" Elliot questioned.

"Who says they have a crappy marriage?!" Michelle defended.

"Alright, alright. Howard, Ellen if you like, tell us a little about yourselves."

"Sure you'll make them tell us something…" Elliot began. "But do to them what you do to us, it's only fair."

"What's what's that Mr. Carlin?"

"Why make them confess something of course." Mr. Vickers added.

"Ellen, Howard I guess uh everyone thinks the session should be about you, since you're a, you're our guests. If you think you have anything you want to share, or confess or maybe get some, some feedback on please uh let, let us know." Bob was conscious about his stuttering he was very nervous and had a feeling this would end badly.

"Okay, uh…hi I'm Ellen Hartley-Borden…"

"Hi Ellen." They all said at once. She was slightly taken aback at this but continued.

"And we've been together for a long time, Howard and I, when were we engaged, Howard?"

"When…uh four years ago." He recalled, he'd waited so long to marry her, longer than Meghan Hartley had been alive, and he'd been thinking of ways to get her to marry him ever since she postponed their engagement.

"Yeah that's right…but we just got married just a few months ago and I guess I'm kind of having trouble adjusting to marriage and so many changes." She decided to say. "Your turn Howard."

Howard was still thinking heavily about what to say. He had something he sort of thought he should confess to Ellen but he thought he'd wait…maybe till the twin's college graduations to tell her the truth because he knew she'd kill him. Howard was still inside his own head when he began to speak and didn't realize he was saying any of this out loud, nor had he heard anything she'd just said.

"Well…" He said to himself. "I guess I could confess the truth. That I knocked her up just so she'd finally marry me…"

"What!" Ellen exclaimed. "Howard!"

"What?" Howard asked.

"Howard, what you just said!"

Bob was nervous as he watched Ellen stand up and face her husband. She was about to start crying and he knew this was not going to be good.

"What, what did I say?"

"That you knocked her up on purpose Borden." Mr. Carlin reminded.

"Howard how could you! You knew what my career meant to me, how could you just go and destroy…and how could you tell me like this! It's humiliating!" She burst, as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Ellen I…"

"Oh save it Howard Borden." She said, trying very hard to pull her wedding ring off so she could throw it at him, but quickly discovered that her fingers were too swollen. Instead she turned around and made her way out of the cabin, quicker than she cared to do and slammed the door behind her, leaving everyone totally stunned.

Howard was mortified, noting that everyone's eyes were on him.

"See Borden, told you, you had a crappy marriage." Elliot laughed; Michelle hit him on the arm.

….

"Ellen! You're crying, what's the matter?!" Emily asked, as she answered the door and took her sister-in-law's coat. Ellen observed that her three nieces were playing a game on the floor and enjoying the fire in the hearth.

"I'm through with him, I'm finished Emily."

"What, what happened?"

"We went to Bob's group. And we were both asked to confess something and oh Emily you'll never believe what he said."

"Try me." Emily urged as she began to make hot chocolate for Ellen, she hadn't even asked her if she wanted any. She didn't think it could be all that bad, Bob had said some pretty weird things in the nearly twelve years they'd been married.

"Emily…he said he did this to me on purpose, so I'd marry him."

"Did what, did…oh….that."

"Yeah." Ellen began to cry again. "The man who claims to love me destroyed my career on purpose, how am I supposed to reconcile that Emily?"

Emily wasn't sure. The man who claimed to love her had done the opposite, supported her career in despite of the fact that she wanted badly to give it up, and was now principal because of his wonderful support.

"Ow!" Meghan flinched. Bridget had just thrown a doll at her. "Mommy!"

"Oh honey, honey what is wrong?" Emily was worried by Meghan's cry for help. Ellen watched all this closely, wondering if there was something she could take away from this spat between Meghan and Bridget that would be applicable to her own situation…oh what was she saying, they were 2 and 3 years old.

"Bridget throw dolly at me Mommy and it hurted a whole lot!"

"It hurted a whole lot! Oh honey, Mommy's sorry." Emily said. "Bridget why did you do that? How would you like it if Meghan threw the dolly at you?" Bridget giggled at this and threw the doll again. This time Meghan started crying.

"Oh sweetheart! There it's okay! Bridget what are you doing, see how you make big sister cry? That's so mean!"

Ellen was surprised to see Emily pick up Bridget instead of Meghan.

"Okay Bridget, you know the drill, time out, two whole minutes, okay?"

"Isn't she a little young for time out?"

"No. You're never too young to learn right from wrong Ellen." Emily said, getting back on the floor and beginning to tend to Meghan once again. This gave Ellen an idea.

…..

"Good night my girls. " Bob smiled, noting how sweetly they slept.

He took a moment to tuck them in again, placing another blanket over them because it was so cold out. He kissed his baby daughters on the cheek. Meghan smiled and sighed in her sleep. Bridget was snoring, as much as a baby could snore, and was just out of it…kind of like Emily in her sleep. And Molly sucked on her thumbs. He was glad that they'd had an easier day than he had. Smiling, he turned out the light and decided to turn in too.

"Oh boy, what a long day." He groaned as his head hit the pillow.

"I know, wasn't it?" Emily agreed.

She'd just gotten the girls to sleep and that was hard enough but she couldn't imagine what Bob had been through that day, first with Howard and Ellen, then with Michelle and Mr. Carlin who'd begun to argue about their relationship, and that one date they'd had a couple of years before. Tonight's argument had resulted in plans for a second date, which Bob thought was a horrific idea, but surprisingly Mr. Vickers supported it, telling Bob that:

"You're not the only one who deserves to be happy with a wife and children who love you!" Bob had been waiting for that line.

"Yeah!" Howard had mistakenly agreed.

Finally, the group session had ended with a disastrous discussion about sex-change operations. Poor Bob was overwrought.

"Well, good night Emily." He was exhausted and turned out the light.

"Wait Bob…" she began as she flicked the light switch back on. "We have a lot to talk about with Howard and Ellen and everything that's happened…and besides I uh…I thought we were going to fool around."

"You're honestly in a romantic mood after today? How can you seriously feel like being romantic?" He asked.

"Um…because we're in the mountains, and it's cold, and snowing and I've been taking care of our beautiful babies all day and because I love you so much." She said sweetly.

"I love you too Emily. While it would be nice…I don't think it's a good idea that we…make love."

"Oh but I'd love to. Why don't you want to?"

"Well, first, our girls Emily." He said. "They're sleeping not too far from here, there's not even a door to separate…"

"That doesn't seem to bother you at home." She laughed, kidding him about how he didn't care that the girl's den bedroom lacked a door.

Was she trying to start a fight? He thought so.

"I'm kidding you honey." She kissed his cheek. "Let's just, just lye here and enjoy the fire." She giggled, noting the fire still roaring in the hearth. "And uh…see what happens."

"Alright fine. If you insist." In truth he didn't feel like fooling around, not in the very least. The day had burdened him far too much for that.

Emily wrapped her arms around Bob and began to kiss him as he flipped her over on her back.

"Bob…what do you think about, about Howard and Ellen?" She asked in between kisses.

"Alright Emily. Let's just discuss it." He didn't want to, it was burdensome and disgusted him, this was his baby sister, after all. "And I can't do this and that at the same time."

"Well Bob, think of it…he got her pregnant on purpose just so he'd marry her that's pretty…"

"Desperate."

"Awful."

"Emily. I don't want to talk about it. It's their problem."

"What if she leaves him!"

"Well what if she does! Howard shouldn't have tricked her."

"No he shouldn't have. Bob?"

"Hum?" He asked, he'd turned off the light again and settled back into his covers. He had just closed his eyes and was not planning on answering any more questions that evening.

"Bob. You would never do that, right? You'd never get me pregnant on purpose, right and not tell me?"

"Emily I…" Bob was interrupted when there was a knock on the door. They exchanged worried glances and he got up to answer it.

"Howard!" Bob exclaimed.

Howard was standing outside the door shaking and covered in snow.

"Howard what's wrong?!"

"Ellen kicked me out, can I sleep with you guys?" He inquired, coming in and taking his shoes off. Bob climbed back into bed now, it was cold and he wanted to get back to sleep.

"Howard, can't you sleep in one of the other cabins…like with your wife."

"She said she doesn't wanna see me! Do you believe that! And I tried the guys but Carlin insisted that they initiate me through hazing."

"Hazing?" Bob asked.

"Yeah. He said I had to drink yellow snow, whatever that means. And then I tried the girls but Mrs. Bakerman was still talking about sex-change operations."

"What about the communal cabin Howard, there's a couch in there."

"Too scary by myself Bob." He said and Emily giggled.

"Alright Howard, you can, you can sleep here."

"Great!" He exclaimed, climbing into bed with Bob and Emily, still dressed in his coat, scarf and hat, "night guys." He said, reaching over and turning off the lights.

Bob wrapped Emily in a hug, feeling the need to stay closer to her than to Howard. He wished Meghan and Bridget were sleeping with them instead; at least then there'd be enough room.

"Emily." Bob warned. "I said not tonight. And plus, Howard's in bed with us."

"Wasn't me." Emily chimed.

"Oh sorry Bob, that was me."

…..

"What do you think?" Ellen asked.

She'd muted the television and lye back comfortably in her bed enjoying eating the carton of ice cream that she balanced carefully atop her stomach. Sure she was in the snow but she was hot while the rest of them were freezing and the ice cream was providing great relief to her.

"What do you think, should I forgive Daddy?" One of the twins kicked when she asked this. "You think I should? Well…Mommy kind of has to… and plus I've got to admit, you're pretty amazing so, I can't stay mad at him forever, can I?" She giggled. "But let's do it just long enough to teach him a lesson…"


	7. I'm okay, you're okay

Surprise 7- I'm okay, you're okay, and Jimmy Stewart's okay…

_**December 1980 **_

"Um…you get it Bob." Emily said groggily, lifting her head from the pillow. She'd woken up to hear Molly screaming and the storm raging outside.

"What?!" He sad up straight in bed, alarmed both at the loud crying that had woken him up and the thunder that had accompanied it. "Who is it now?"

"It's Molly."

"How again did we get ourselves into this?" He asked, sitting up and beginning to put on his robe.

"I don't know anymore but let Mommy go back to sleep." She mumbled as another clap of thunder shook the building.

"That one was close." He said, noting how close the two claps of thunder had been together. "Oh no." Now he could hear Meghan and Bridget begin to cry also. "Now it's Bridget and Meghan, come on honey let's get up." He urged.

"Not right now Mommy wants to sleep." Emily's voice was barely audible. She had buried her face back in her pillow and was obviously half asleep.

"Come on sweetheart, let's get up." He insisted, pulling her out of bed. She put on her robe and pulled it shut tightly as she yawned and followed her husband out of their room. In addition to being exhausted, she was freezing.

"Hey girls what's the matter?" Bob asked, walking into the den/nursery, whichever you prefer to think of it as.

Bob's books were all still in the room, in addition to tons of toys, three little beds covered in pink, and a rocking chair…so what you would call the room was really anybody's guess in the first place.

"Rain scary Daddy." Meghan rubbed her eyes. Bridget nodded.

"Hey come here, it's okay." He laughed, picking them up. Emily had already done the same with baby Molly. Rocking her seemed to be keeping her calm. "Who could that be?!" Bob asked when he heard a knock on the front door. Wasn't it one or two o'clock in the morning?

Meghan and Bridget were glad that their Dad didn't put them down when he went to answer the door. Emily was a little afraid about who would be knocking on their door at such an early hour and held Molly close as she followed Bob, wishing he wouldn't just answer the door.

"Howard, Ellen?" He questioned. They were in their robes and pajamas and appeared to be somewhat shaken.

"Bob we're scared!" Howard exclaimed.

Ellen nodded. It was a bad storm and she didn't know if she'd ever been afraid of a storm in quite this way before.

"That's ridiculous." He said.

"I'm scared too!" Meghan didn't think it was ridiculous.

"Meghan, the difference is that you're three." Bob explained why he was giving her an exception.

"Oh yeah." She sort of got that.

"Why don't you come in, I'll make us some coffee." Emily said, carefully giving her baby to Howard.

"Hot chocolate please Emily, I'm awake enough!" Howard reminded.

"I'd love coffee Emily, but the doctor said no." Ellen frowned. "I'll settle for hot chocolate too if it's not too much trouble."

"No, not at all." Part of Emily thought, being Christmas time, that hot chocolate was a far better choice anyway.

"So, do you two want to try and sleep on our couch…or I guess does Ellen want to sleep on the couch and Howard maybe you can uh sleep on the floor?" Bob offered. He didn't care if she was pregnant, his back wasn't great either and he wasn't giving up his bed. Plus, if anyone deserved to sleep on the floor it was Howard.

"No Bob I…" Howard began.

"Or do you want to sit up and tell stories all night."

"That sounds like fun!" Howard chimed.

"No it doesn't." Bob argued. He'd merely been being sarcastic.

"Yes it does!" He retorted.

"Actually it does." Emily laughed from the kitchen, agreeing with their friend.

"I like stories." Meghan enthused.

"Me too." Bridget added.

"The two of you are going back to sleep." Bob had still not put them down and this was why.

"No!" They protested.

"Yes you are, Daddy's right. Come on." Emily began, putting the tray of hot chocolate down on the coffee table. "Come on you can sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed will that make it better?" She asked, taking Bridget in her arms.

"It should." Bob sighed.

He didn't like this and wished Emily would make them sleep in their own beds every once in a while. Nonetheless he followed his wife back into the bedroom to put the girls down, leaving Howard and Ellen, who were still not speaking much after the incident at the marathon, with now almost one year old Molly, who was herself, half asleep again.

"She's precious." Ellen whispered, glancing at her baby niece who was busy drifting off to sleep in her husband's arms.

"Yeah…I uh…I can't believe this is where we'll be in a year…two times over."

She was thankful that Bob and Emily walked back in just then, as she still really didn't want to talk to Howard. Besides that, she was achy and didn't feel quite right. She lye back on the couch and took a deep breath, cradling her stomach in her hands.

"Are you alright?" Emily asked quickly.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just a little uncomfortable that's all. It's too bad the storm woke me up."

"Can I get you anything?" Bob asked.

"Well maybe that story." Howard hinted.

"What story?" Emily raised an eyebrow.

"You know Emily." Ellen began as she sat her cup back down on the table. "The story that you started months ago and keep telling us in little installments, about you being pregnant with Meghan."

"Oh." Emily was surprised to hear this and smiled as she took her infant daughter back in her arms. She loved telling this story. "Well in that case…."

"Emily…" Bob cautioned as he sat back down. He knew exactly what she was thinking and thought it was a terrible idea. She simply smiled at him, knowing that it would work. She knew just what part of the story to use, to rub in her disgust with them and the fact that they weren't talking to each other.

"Bob and I." She began. "Were so happy that Christmas…"

_**December 1976 **_

Bob couldn't sleep. So he just watched Emily as she snored. Normally it didn't bother him too much, but somehow her snoring had become more pronounced as the pregnancy progressed. The bump on Emily's stomach really showed now and was beginning to seem more like a permanent fixture than a novelty. He reached over and gently placed his palm on her belly.

He hadn't kicked yet, but he could feel the baby's tiny frame now when he touched his wife, and now it felt like a real baby, rather than just a bump. He could, for example, feel the baby's head against the palm of his hand if he pressed down very gently…it was amazing, partially because it was so, so tiny but still a clearly defined little head.

"H-hi." He began, nervously addressing the unborn child who he secretly thought of as miracle baby. Emily talked to the baby all the time, why shouldn't he? "What's happening with you?" He figured it couldn't possibly be much. "I just wanted to say, I hope you really love your Daddy because he really, really loves you."

"Honey that was so sweet to say to baby." Emily whispered, she was half asleep but had heard him whispering to her stomach.

"You think so?"

"Of course. She'll adore you Bob I promise."

"I hope so."

"I adore you." She yawned. Curling up to him, she fell back asleep.

The next morning they got up early and went to get a Christmas tree. Emily insisted on getting a real looking one that year instead of one of those sick dying ones no one wanted. He would tell you he thought, at least once they began decorating it, that it was a great decision. The nice tree sort of helped make the fact that they were starting a family, seem more real, if that weren't weird enough.

"Wow…Christmas is going to change." He reflected, wishing he wouldn't have said this out loud.

"Huh?" Emily asked, looking up from hanging tinsel.

It was just in the past few weeks that Emily had begun to really show. To Bob, the holidays perfectly highlighted Emily's new look. Christmas made him realize just how much things were really about to change: it wasn't just the two of them anymore, even now, and that frightened and marveled him all at once. At five months, you could look at her and know she was having a baby, rather than just think she may've eaten one too many bon-bons like you might have back when she was in her third month.

"What do the kids think of your um…your new look?" Bob asked.

"At school? Well it's not the same as if I were still a teacher." She said. "But people are beginning to notice, and as I understand it, many of the teachers are explaining it to their kids…which has resulted in some interesting questions…" Bob laughed at this. "And finally my experience: I deal with bullies all day. Bully kids, bully parents…and people are a lot gentler with me as soon as they figure out I'm pregnant…makes me want to do it again when this one's born." Bob laughed at this. "But I figured out that I don't know how much longer I'd wanna do this after I have the baby, if at all."

"Do you wanna give notice, Emily you worked so hard for that job!" He was shocked at this.

"I know…but I worked even harder on being a Mommy."

"Well that's true: we've been waiting and waiting and trying so hard for this."

"And like I said, especially if we have more than one baby, I don't know how I could handle working or if I'd really want to: if maybe I'd rather just be with our children."

"Well, it's your decision. You have my full support either way."

"Oh honey, thank you." She said. "Look: mistletoe!" She giggled, pointing upward as she dangled mistletoe above their heads. Bob kissed her deeply.

"Any time, any place Emily…we don't need mistletoe."

"But it's such a nice touch."

"Yes, it's a nice touch…Emily, what do you mean more than one baby?"

…..

_**December 1980**_

"I remember that Bob." Howard reflected. "That's when I walked in with the stewardess from T…" Ellen shot him a hurt look. What stewardess? They'd been engaged…sort of, at the time.

"Ellen. I didn't think you'd ever marry me." Howard explained. "Did you expect me to-to just wait around forever?"

"I was waiting Howard. And furthermore if you loved me…"

"Love you?! Of course I loved you! I love your heart, I love your soul, I love your guts!" Ellen smiled simply only because she couldn't help it. Bob recalled him saying something like this to him only a day after he met Ellen. He guessed he still meant it.

"It's true Ellen, he said that exact thing to me after knowing you less than twelve hours."

"Of course I love you Ellen." He continued. "That's why I chose you. Pursued you like I did and refused to let go…cause I'm just crazy about you that's all there is to it. All those other girls in comparison….even my ex-wife they mean nothing to me….it's just unfortunate for me you know. If you're met to love one person, just one person for the whole of your life, I know you're my one. But you don't love me like that do you?"

"Now Howard I never said…." She did love him like that.

"That's how the whole baby thing popped into my head." He said, biting his lip as he thought back several months. "I was watching Meghan and Bridget…almost a year ago, when Molly was being born and I was thinking if we shared something like a little baby…it would bring us closer…it would make you have to show me you loved me."

"Oh Howard." She thought this was so sad.

"As for actually getting pregnant..." He began.

"Howard, this is my sister I don't know if I actually want to hear…." Bob started. But Howard ignored him, feeling that Ellen deserved an explanation for everything.

"I thought maybe I'd try a few times you know, hang around a few days, get you too distracted to take a certain pill." She paused for a moment. That was what had happened? "I never, in my wildest dreams thought that it would actually work. I just got lucky I guess."

Emily tried hard not to laugh at the double entendre.

"But you don't love me." He continued. "Baby or not, no, no matter how much I truly love you so…"

"Howard." She said. "I wasn't going to say anything about not loving you. Of course I love you. Do you think that you and I would've been doing half the things we were if I didn't?"

"Um…hello, big brother present." Bob reminded, but everyone ignored him. Emily continued to watch Howard and Ellen as if they were on the most riveting, but mindless of daytime soaps.

"No Ellen, I don't." He smiled. She wasn't that type, even though everyone knew he was.

"It's the career Howard. I worked so hard for it." And she deeply lamented the loss. "And now look at me! I'm miserable, I'm huge, I'm swollen…and jobless and Howard, it's embarrassing!"

"It always comes back to the career, doesn't it?!"

"Howard. You can't fly anymore."

"What!?" He was shocked.

"See." She laughed. "Howard why can't you just support me in my work like Bob does with Emily?" Bob smiled proudly at this and Emily rolled her eyes.

"It always comes back to work, doesn't it?"

"We can start talking again, if you promise to communicate with me Howard. For example, in the future, if I want to take a job, I'll talk to you about it and we'll make the decision together and you want to have a baby…"

"Ellen, are you alright?" Emily asked, when Ellen stopped suddenly. She stared blankly for a moment then suddenly cringed.

"No, no I don't think so." She admitted, taking a deep breath as Emily moved to sit beside her.

"W-what's happening?" Howard asked.

"I'll get the car." Bob knew right away what was going on.

"Ellen?" Howard questioned, afraid now as he saw Bob begin to put on his coat and scarf over his robe…this couldn't be, it was too soon!"

"Ellen honey it's going to be okay." Emily reassured. "Just relax, it's all going to be okay."

"Be okay!" Howard burst, thinking more of the twins than anyone else. "They've got two months to go!"

Ellen looked up at Howard with this most incredible fear in her eyes as she clutched Emily's arm. Emily was now putting slippers on her feet; Bob had gone next door to retrieve her coat and slippers. Without saying a word, she took Howard's hand. She hadn't thought about the fact that the babies still had a lot of time left before they were born…was it going to be her fault if they didn't make it? Would she survive if they didn't? She knew they wouldn't as a couple.

"Come on Ellen." Howard comforted, gathering his wife in his arms as he helped her to stand. He should be the one offering her the most comfort, not Emily. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

…..

"Ellen are you okay?!" Howard asked.

They hadn't told him much and he was relieved when he'd finally been

Allowed to go and see his wife. They'd told him almost nothing about her condition or the fate of their unborn twins, just a droll: "You can see your wife now Mr. Borden."

"Oh Howard." She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him and hugging

him tightly. "Oh Howard you're here!"

"How are you, are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." She was relieved. "I'm just fine."

"What about our little babies are…"

"They're fine Howard." She smiled.

"T-they're fine!" He was thrilled by this news and she smiled

enthusiastically.

"Yeah they're wonderful. I'm so relieved too."

"Well what…what went wrong?" He asked.

"Pre-term labor…"

"Well I know that, but why?"

"They said it could be stress." She began. He felt bad; he'd been stressing her

out. "They also said that it could have something to do with the fact that I'm such a small person to begin with and they're taking a lot out of me."

"Oh…yeah." He'd wondered about that one.

"And they're twins….twins do this."

"But you're all going to be okay?"

"Just fine Howard." She smiled. "They just have to stay in another month, if

not a little more. I'm on bed rest until then...well for a little while at least."

"I can't take you home?"

"Not right now, no."

"But it's Christmas time and our first Christmas together."

"I know but you have a choice, take me home now and you just take me. Take

me home when they say I'm ready and we'll spend next Christmas together, you and me and the boys.

"The-the boys?"

"Yeah." She smiled.

"Ellen they're going to be little boys?"

"Yeah isn't it wonderful?" She asked, she would've never found this out if she hadn't gone into labor when she did.

"Wonderful?! It's the greatest thing I've heard in my whole entire life!"

"It's pretty neat."

"I thought you wanted a boy and a girl?"

"Sure but…how could I not want two little boys? They sound adorable. And besides, maybe we can have a baby girl in a couple of years.

"I'd like that. Hey you're talking to me!"

"I love you just like you love me and that's a promise."

"You do?"

"Always Howard. I just don't show it the same way you do."

"You promise?'

"I love your heart, I love your soul, I love your guts!" She laughed.

"Yeah, that's just the way I love alright…Even though I decided we were going to have a baby without talking to you about it first?"

"If I remember correctly, you also decided we were getting married several times without talking to me. It was wrong to do that Howard but I love you and I love the babies so I can't stay mad forever…besides the three of you may be just what I needed."

"I think so…after all, the three of you are what I've been waiting for."

…

"This is certainly a wonderful Christmas." Bob said, kissing Emily's forehead.

"Yes, so much to be thankful for." Emily smiled.

It was dark and they sat cuddled up together in his favorite brown chair. Baby Molly lye sleeping on her mother's stomach. She sucked on her pacifier slowly as she slept. Meghan and Bridget were also asleep on their father's chest. Bob wished there were a roaring fire in front of him, instead it was just _It's A Wonderful Life_ being shown, but that was Christmassy enough.

"Wow, rewind six years and tell us that we'll have three babies to cuddle with on Christmas Eve." Emily reminded.

"I know." He didn't dare let her know how nervous this prospect made him….in retrospect. "Happy first Christmas Molly, you're beautiful."

"And so simply sweet." Emily smiled. "And so are Bridget and Meghan."

"It's too bad that they're asleep before Santa had a chance to come down the chimney."

"We don't have a chimney Bob."

"I know but, I've uh, been thinking of getting one."

"Really honey, you mean that?" They'd decided it last month but had barely spoken of it since then.

"Yeah. I mean there are five of us now and you're right. We need a bigger place, somewhere where I can hold my wife and daughters and watch a roaring fire at the same time."

Emily laughed at this.

"Sure, but Jimmy Stewart's okay."

"He is….oh we have so much to be thankful for this year Emily." He remarked, rubbing circles on the top of Meghan's little head. He could see George Bailey hugging his wife and children out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh yes we do."

"I mean look, we've finally started a family…we have a new baby and two toddlers. That's just w…"

"Miraculous." She finished.

"Yeah, it is." He agreed, smiling as they kissed.

"Honey I love you."

"I love you too. Merry Christmas Emily."

"Merry Christmas to you too Bob."

"And Merry Christmas miracle baby." Bob whispered to Meghan. He'd always think of her as miracle baby.


	8. Enter The Peeper, or is it Weeper?

Chapter 8- Enter The Peeper, or is it Weeper?

_**January 1981**_

"You've got to get names soon sweetie." Emily reminded Ellen, who lye back on the couch.

Ellen thought she felt much like how a beached whale might feel. She was still technically on bed rest, but could safely get around enough to strand herself on Emily's couch.

"I would like that, I oooh ouch." She rubbed her side.

"You okay?" Emily asked.

"Is it time?!" Howard burst. He'd been in complete panic mode since Ellen had gone to the hospital a month earlier.

"I'm fine, just a little baby kick."

"I could understand your wanting to give a name to what's kicking you." Emily smiled, recalling feeling the same way. "Oh just a second." She said as the phone began to ring. "Oh hi, hi honey." She smiled. "What…oh?" Ellen looked up at her concerned and wondered what was going on. "Alright, I'll set an extra place at dinner. Uh-huh. Yeah I love you too." Emily rolled her eyes as she hung up the telephone.

"Who was that?" Howard asked.

"Howard, it was obvious that was Bob!...I am right Emily it was Bob?"

"Yes, yes it was." She said, she seemed seething mad.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing's 'wrong' per say…it's just the Peeper is coming for dinner tonight."

"Oh." Ellen understood Emily's disappointment.

"Oh the Weeper!" Howard recalled, he always got Cliff's nickname wrong.

"The Peeper, Howard." Emily laughed.

"Yeah uh…I was going to say….what's a Weeper!"

Emily, who hated Cliff, thought a "weeper" was what she wanted to be every time Cliff came to town. In actuality, a weeper was a person paid to cry at a funeral.

"Ouch!" Ellen burst.

"Ellen, you're not in labor again!"

"No!" She was annoyed. "Honey it's okay. You can quit asking me that. But we do need to choose names Howard….don't you agree it would be nice to know who I'm asking to stop punching me. And it would just be nice to know before the time comes so we don't have to think of something then when we're so overwhelmed because I know we will be."

"Yes, yes you will be." Emily gave an insistent laugh, recalling her own indecision the first time around. "You know I remember when we were trying out names." Emily began. "It was also when the Pepper was here…of course, he kind of had his own ideas about what to call Meghan…"

_**March 1977**_

"I just can't decide if she's a Meghan or a Lauren." Emily asked over dinner. They were having Chinese food…again. Bob was sick of the stuff, but Emily had been craving it for months. Moo goo gi-pan was the baby's favorite.

She was due in just three weeks and the need to decide a full name for the baby was growing more important by the day. In actuality, they'd been considering Meghan for months and Bob had no idea why she was seemingly changing her mind now after calling the baby Meghan, telling people that was her name and even going as far as buying a big letter "M" for the nursery.

"Or a Zach." Sometimes, Bob still held out hope that the baby would be a boy.

"I'm sure she's not a Zach. Come on honey, Meghan or Lauren?"

"I don't know…how do you know he's a girl?"

"I'm sure she's a girl and Bob…I'm really happy with the possibility of her being a little girl so just…"

"I know honey, I am too. I really wanna have this baby, I'm very excited about it. I know you don't think I am..."

"Oh Bob, it's our baby of course I think you're happy!" She kissed his cheek. "Bob, you don't mind being with me while I have the baby?"

"No I want to be." He said.

"I only ask because men aren't really used to it you know it's kind of a new thing. It wouldn't've been allowed a few years ago. Like when we were first married.

And I don't know what it's like either: it might…"

"Honey I'm in this with you thick and thin."

"Thank you sweetheart." She smiled.

"I can't wait to see her."

"Me neither. She's going to be beautiful."

"Well not at first, you know they tend to be pretty red and wrinkly when they…" He said, causing Emily to laugh.

"I don't care if she's red and wrinkly, she'll be pretty to me anyway."

"I agree I was just teasing you Emily. And I think she's a Meghan."

"Oh that sounds nice. Meghan. I've been calling her Meghan."

"I know. I have too. We've been telling people she's going to be Meghan. Meghan just seems…right somehow. A-and plus you bought that giant 'M."

"Yes I did. I was thinking that if by some off chance if it's a boy we could name him Howard." Howard had been helping her a lot lately.

"What?!"

_**January 1981**_

"Howard! Oh I love it it's perfect!" Howard excitedly interrupted Emily's story, startling both the women.

"Huh?" Ellen asked.

"We'll name one of them Howard!"

"Uh-Howard." Ellen cleared her throat, raising her eyebrow at her husband.

"Yeah? Honey what is it?" He let go of his enthusiasm long enough to ask her.

"Slight problem…there are already two Howard Borden's." Howard paused, thinking about this for a moment. He nodded slowly.

"Actually there are three Howard Borden's."

"Three?" Emily asked.

"Yeah uh…one of them's a Dog I had one time." He nodded.

Emily decided to continue her story.

_**March 1977- The same conversation**_

"I'm kidding darling. For a boy I like Robbie."

"After me?" He joked, still clearly touched at the idea they'd been tossing around for a while.

"What's so weird about a son being named for his father?"

"Nothing, I love the idea. Robbie's perfect."

"And for a girl Meghan it is." She smiled, glad that the baby's name had been decided.

"To be honest honey, l have to say, I was kind of thinking of something too."

"Oh what honey?"

"Emily."

"Yes?"

"No, no Emily."

"What did I do?"

"No honey I wanted to name the baby Emily." He confessed, he hadn't told her this.

"Oh Bob that's so sweet of you to want to name our little girl after me."

"Well why not, it's a nice name. I love the name."

"That's wonderful of you…" She was touched, as a matter of fact she could have cried. "How about Meghan Emily Hartley."

"Meghan Emily H-." He laughed. "Adding the last name makes it seem so much more real."

"Well, it is real. Ha, ouch!...and I'm feeling it more and more lately." He gave her a concerned look and she smiled, easing his nerves. She laughed as they kissed.

"Emily I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I love the name. It's a keeper."

"You hear that, you're going to be Meghan darling!"

"Assuming it's a girl."

"Trust me, she's a girl." Emily laughed.

The next night Emily was on the couch curled up doing paperwork. She noticed, in the past several weeks that she'd abandoned the desk and the table for the couch more and more because her back was bothering her. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. She thought about calling out that it was open but realized that if there was a knock it met it couldn't be Bob, Howard or probably even Ellen. She got up as quickly as she could and answered the door.

"Emily!" The Peeper exclaimed, hugging her quickly.

"Hi! Oh this is such a surprise, does Bob know you're here?"

"No he…what is this?" He took a step back and looked down at her, still holding her arms. Emily giggled.

"Didn't Bob tell you? We're having a baby!" She said, resting her hands back on her stomach.

"A baby, that's wonderful! How did that happen?" He and Emily both laughed at his question. "No seriously, congratulations."

"Well, listen, sit down…and excuse the mess, we're doing a lot of baby stuff… can I get you anything?"

"No Emily, you sit down. I'll just help myself."

"Okay." She smiled, sitting back down on the couch. "Where's Corrine?"

"She couldn't make it, she's in Seattle visiting her family, and I decided to stop by here on my way to join her: she'll be so excited about your news…how's Bob taking it?"

"Oh we're very excited. We've wanted a baby for a long time."

Cliff knew that, but decided to just not say anything. He thought Bob had told him that in confidence. He sat down next to Emily on the couch.

"When's the baby coming?"

"I'm due April 1st." He couldn't help thinking that the baby was due on April fools day and wondered for a moment if Bob and Emily were pranking him. April fools day…it was so obvious, this sort of made him upset. Bob knew that April Fools was sacred for him after all, and his favorite time of year to pull pranks. He saw the nursery in the den behind her, what an elaborate scheme they'd gone to! Nonetheless, he decided to play along.

"Emily! You're…next month! That's just a couple of weeks from now!"

"Yeah, soon. Ooh." She took a deep breath.

"You okay?" He asked, his concern almost seeming real to him. She was sure adding a lot of detail to this.

"Yeah, she's just kicking, you wanna feel her?" He thought that her hand or her stomach would zap his hand when she grabbed it and hesitated momentarily. She took his hand, ignoring his hesitation and pressed it against her stomach, allowing him to feel the baby. He felt awkward about this for a moment until he realized how amazing the experience was and that it was absolutely real. He smiled as his breath caught in his throat.

"Emily it…"

"Yeah, I know, it is kind of a wow, isn't it? Her name is Meghan."

"Meghan, I like that. What if it's a boy?" Cliff had something else to remind Bob of now that he knew the baby was real and not a practical joke.

"She won't be. But in answer to your question: Robbie."

"Hi honey I'm…Cliff?" He asked. Bob was surprised to come into his house and see his old friend with his hands on his wife's stomach.

"Now it isn't what you're thinking." Cliff jumped up to greet Bob, putting up his hands in a surrendering kind of gesture. Bob laughed, already understanding what was going on. "Mooner!" He held out his arms to hug Bob.

"Cliff what are you doing here?"

"I stopped by to see two of my favorite friends, I'm really on the way to Seattle, but I figured what the heck, Corrine and her family can wait another day. Congratulations on fatherhood by the way Bob, that's just wonderful."

"Thanks Cliff. Hi Emily." He kissed her cheek. "How are you, how are you feeling today?"

"Someone's very active today and I'm just a little uncomfortable." She admitted, placing his hands on her stomach.

"Oh honey I'm sorry." He kissed her again and helped her to sit down. "Can I get either of you anything?"

"Honey, I was just about to make dinner."

"Emily, you know what we agreed on! I do the cooking, okay, you're not lifting a finger."

"Okay." She smiled, accepting his kiss again. "You're so sweet."

"Well he's right, you're too far along to lift a finger, it just wouldn't be…right." Cliff assessed. "Bob?"

"Yeah Cliff?" He laughed. He'd gone into the kitchen and Emily had sat back down on the couch with her paperwork.

"Bob. Do you remember back at the Fraternity? That promise you made to me when I saved your life?"

"Cliff you didn't save my life." Bob seemed perplexed at this idea.

"Sure I did. Oh wait, that was Darryl Utley…I remember what it was I did for you! I was spending Fourth of July with you and your family."

"Oh…" Bob said, suddenly remembering what the Peeper was speaking of.

"And I helped save your little sister when that nail went all the way through her foot." Emily cringed at this thought.

"Oh uh yeah…"

"Bob, do you remember what you promised me?"

"F-for helping my sister?"

"Yeah Bob!"

"Emily." Bob sighed. "I'm afraid we're going to have to name the baby Cliff or the Peeper…whichever you like better."

"Whichever I like better?!" Emily was immediately outraged.

"It can be a middle name Emily." Cliff conceded.

"Cliff or the Peeper! But Bob, she's a girl! You don't want your baby girl going through life with a name like the Peeper! And frankly, I don't care what you promised him when you were an immature twenty-two year old boy! She's my baby and a little girl, her name is Meghan, and her middle name isn't Cliff, or the Peeper, it's Emily! End of story!" Emily got up and threw her papers down, angrily storming back into her bedroom and slamming the door, which was exactly what Bob didn't want.

"She's been uh…kind of emotional lately." Bob laughed nervously.

"Sorry Bob…I didn't think she'd be that upset."

"Well Cliff…it is going to be a girl…I think you've kind of got to agree, she's right. I have to give my daughter a girl's name…for what it's worth, I'm sorry." He said, beginning to walk toward the bedroom.

"That's alright Bob. How about you apologize to Emily and I'll make dinner for you guys…does she by any chance like spaghetti with maple syrup?"

….

_**January 1981**_

__"That's where I know him from!" Ellen exclaimed. "He's the foot guy!"

She had not met the Peeper as an adult. To her, Cliff Murdoch had been kind of an enigma all these years. Just a faint memory, of a tall, skinny, completely immature frat boy, who, along with her older brother, had carried her through the streets of Chicago while she was in agony and her foot was bleeding profusely. Doctors later credited Cliff with saving the then twelve-year-old girl's life, or at the very least saving her from getting a bad blood infection.

"Foot guy?!" Howard questioned defensively.

"Oh Howard, when I was oh I don't know twelve I guess, the Peeper spent the Fourth of July with us. And I was running around the neighborhood with some of my friends, you know how it can be in the summer when you're a kid…and it was getting dark. I guess I wasn't really looking where I was going and I stepped straight onto this nail that went straight up into my foot…I don't remember too much after that, other than Bob and the Peeper coming to save me…and it hurting…A LOT." She laughed. "And there being a lot of blood too." Bob recalled far more of this ordeal than she did, that was for sure.

"Ellen you never told me that about your foot!" Howard exclaimed.

"Well I forgot. The scar's on the bottom of my foot, and it's well over twenty years old now…so I don't exactly see it a whole lot Howard. I can't believe it. All these years I hear Bob talk about the Peeper all the time and until now, I never remembered he was the guy who helped me that night…I always wanted to honor him somehow for helping me." She bit her lip as she began to think.

"H-h-honor him, how Ellen?" Howard was concerned about this.

"Howard. Would it be alright with you if one of our boys had the middle Clifford?" She smiled, thinking she liked this anyway.

"But Ellen, one of our boys can't be named for the Gipper!" Emily laughed to herself about this, _The Gipper._

"Howard. No one is suggesting that we name one of them Ronald Reagan, just Clifford." Ellen corrected.

"Who?" Howard didn't understand the reference that he had made.

"Look Howard. I was thinking…I don't know about the first names yet. But I want one of their middle names to be Howard, and the other to be Clifford."

"I like that Ellen." Emily smiled. She only liked it because it got her out of having to name any future babies of hers, if there were to be any, the Peeper.

"A-alright. She's right it does sound nice. Just as long as one of them is Howard Borden the Fourth!"

"Alright Howard." Ellen laughed, kissing his cheek.

…..

"And Cliff, this is my sister Ellen." Bob introduced Cliff to his sister later that night just before they were all about to sit down to dinner.

"T-this is her!" He exclaimed. "Oh no she can't be! Bob, Ellen was just a little girl and this woman is having a baby."

"Twins." She corrected. "And it's nice to see you again. I've always been really thankful for your saving me and my foot and everything."

"It was no trouble." He told her. Part of the reason he'd done it was because he thought it was funny to run through the street like that and freak people out. But he wasn't going to admit that, with her being all thankful and everything. "Bob are you sure this is your sister?"

"Yes Cliff, and time flies, what can I say? Meghan's going to be four, that's hard to believe too."

"Why is it every time I show up now, someone's pregnant?" Cliff had to ask. "And it's always a girl." Emily had been pregnant the last three times he'd randomly come to town and he'd always found out just by showing up.

"Until now. Uh Cliff. I always wanted some way to thank you…" She began. Cliff had been like a hero to her for five seconds back when it happened, she liked her feet after all.

"Oh?" He asked. He couldn't help but be intrigued by this, even though he didn't necessarily want to be thanked.

"And so, Howard and I have decided…"

"You're married to Howard! Bob you never told me _she_ was that girl he was crazy about!"

"I-it didn't seem fitting Cliff."

"But yes, that's me." Ellen smiled. "Anyway Cliff. Howard and I are having twin baby boys and we just wanted to tell you that one of them is going to be Ryan Clifford Borden."

"You'd name your son after me?" He was touched. "Ellen you don't have to do that."

"But we want to." She smiled, she really did.

"We do?" Howard asked, sitting down next to her. She nudged him in the ribs and continued smiling.

"Wait, wait just a minute!" Emily called.

"Oh no." Bob muttered to himself.

"Cliff. Why would you try to force me to name my daughter after you when she doesn't have to name her son after you and you saved _her_ life and _her _foot, not Bob's!" Emily pointed this out to him.

Bob and Cliff exchanged glances, not believing she couldn't understand this part of the scenario.

"E-Emily, he's my Fraternity brother, that's exactly why. It's a brother thing."

"Well yeah, I'm not her brother. I'm his brother." Cliff explained.

"That and seriously Emily, it's a technicality. _I'm the one who made the promise_, not Ellen."

"Wait…" Emily began. "Are you meaning to tell me you didn't really mean that? That my having to name Meghan after him, which of course, I didn't, is a practical joke!"

Bob and Cliff looked at each other again, not really knowing what else to say other than kind of.

"Emily uh, yes it was true I made the promise."

"But uh…no it was a girl, you were off the hook. We just decided to have a little fun with it."

"You upset me that badly when I was miserable and very pregnant! Urrrg!" Emily dropped the bowl she'd been holding on the counter, went into her bedroom and slammed the door.

"Sorry." Bob began… "She uh…she's been kind of emotional lately."


	9. An exercise of three options, Part I

Chapter 9- An exercise of three options, Part 1

_**Late March, 1977**_

"It's so nice to get out." Emily said. Her mouth was practically full. She never talked with her mouth full, but she was starving.

They'd gone for a walk on the lake, just to get out for the evening together without the responsibilities of work, baby worries and Howard. It was beginning to turn to Spring in Chicago and while it was cold it was pleasant. Everything was blossoming, including Emily. She was due any day now and miserable. He was nervous because she looked as if she were about to burst at any moment. He speculated that the baby would arrive much earlier than their April 1st due date and that maybe they were wrong about the date in the first place.

"Oh gosh I'm so hungry." She practically apologized. Bob just stood there and watched her eat.

"It's alright Emily…how long have you had a craving for for catering truck food?" He asked. That's where they'd gotten their dinner, at a catering truck/hamburger stand on the beach.

"Um…ever since I could smell it, so a half a block away I guess. Ooh ouch." She said, moving her hand to her side and rubbing herself softly.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just baby…I think she's really the one who wanted the hamburger."

"Emily…don't you think there's just the slightest possibility that maybe you aren't due in April?"

"Hum?" She asked, taking another bite.

"Emily, I think maybe the baby's really due…now."

"Bob, the doctor said April. Why would you…"

"Well because you're so big now, I-"

Emily turned to him and shot him an evil, kind of hurt glare.

"I mean…the baby's so big. I. Emily you look like you're about to pop!"

"Do I?...I feel like I am." She admitted. "Am I that fat and ugly?"

"Oh no honey, I. You're beautiful." He soothed, she'd been so sensitive lately and he felt like all he was doing was dodging bullets.

"That's not true." She smiled.

"Yes it is, why else would I do this?" He asked, leaning in and kissing her deeply.

"Oh Bob, that's so nice." She sighed. "I guess I'm really pretty if you're still willing to be romantic with a big, fat, pregnant lady, especially in public."

"I love you." He said, cupping her cheeks in his hands and gazing lovingly into her big blue eyes.

"Is it really that big?"

"It's just the baby's general area, not the rest of you." He promised. "But she's getting pretty big yeah."

"Oh Bob I know…and she's beginning to demand a lot of Mommy. Ooh there's another one." Emily laughed.

"Here, let me feel her. Ooh yeah."

"I think she just likes the hamburger." Emily whispered.

"It still feels amazing to me."

"The kicking?"

"Yeah. Knowing that we can feel our baby that we made together…that we're going to love more than anything." It was hard for him to confess feelings like this to anyone in the world but her.

"Yeah, that's what I've been thinking about ever since she started kicking."

….

_**January 1981**_

"Howard. I'm okay. Please just stop being so over protective!" Ellen begged.

She was upset, uncomfortable and irritable. But more than anything, she was sick and tired of Howard hovering over her every minute. He was trying desperately to make sure that she was comfortable, but in actuality, he was making her even more miserable than she would've been otherwise.

"I'm just trying to help!" He defended himself.

"Help, Howard you're suffocating me!"

"Well hello to you too." Bob greeted.

They had just walked into his living room screaming at each other. It was amazing to him, that Ellen and Howard were so different from how he and Emily had been when they were having their first baby. That catering truck food thing he'd just remembered as they walked in was a great example of that. For them, everything had been idyllic; they'd fallen deeper in love. But with Howard and Ellen it was just the opposite: everything was chaotic.

Now, Bob was busy feeding Molly, who would turn one in just a few days. The baby girl, was, startled by her Aunt and Uncle's arguing and looked up at her Dad with great concern in her big blue eyes. She was sure that if Daddy hadn't been right there with her she'd cry.

"Oh Molly honey it's okay. Your Aunt and Uncle just hate each other." He explained. "There's nothing to be afraid of." He wanted to add 'unless you're their kid' which he figured was not advisable.

"Oh Bob! Don't tell her we hate each other!" Ellen cried, reaching out for Howard's hand.

"Well don't you?"

"No Bob, of course not!" Howard laughed. "What would make you say that?"

"Yeah Bob, we don't hate each other. We love each other very much."

"Yeah, I'm just driving her crazy!"

"That's right." Ellen laughed as Howard helped her to sit down. "Look we just came from the doctor and I'm a little less than happy."

"Why, what happened?" Bob asked, a little concerned.

"Oh it's, its nothing big Bob," Howard began.

"It's just that uh the boys aren't necessarily on schedule."

"Yeah they're going to be late! And we're disappointed!"

"Yes because someone is sick of being pregnant." Ellen sighed, taking her shoes off and laying down on the couch.

"Yeah and I want to see them!"

"I want to see them too Howard but…"

"We went through this, don't you remember Howard?" Bob asked.

"Remember…"

"With Meghan." Bob reminded.

"Oh yeah! Ellen, the way I see it we have three options."

"I'm listening." She nodded slowly.

The doctor hadn't said anything to her about options. Bob laughed as Howard began to explain. He knew that Howard was referring to the steps he and Emily had taken to try to make Meghan be born.

"We could go for long walks! That could start labor."

"Well I guess so I mean I am on bed rest…"

"How do you feel about spicy food?"

"Like Chinese food." Bob added. That was almost all Emily ate very late into her pregnancy with Meghan, and for the same reason Howard was talking about.

"I've never been a fan of it." She stated.

"What about sex?" Howard asked. Bob sighed. He didn't have to ask that part in front of him and Molly.

"What?! Howard what are you talking about?"

"Ellen, don't you see, all those things induce labor!"

"Oh…oh!" She smiled. "Well great then, let's start by running around the building then Howard." Ellen stood up and took his hand, leading him toward the door. That wasn't necessarily what Howard had wanted to begin with, but if it would lead to his wife finally having the twins, and not being nearly as moody, then he was fine with it.

"Uh-guys, actually maybe you better start with the spicy food. Emily's going to serve dinner in a few minutes and I doubt she'll be happy about waiting for you." He advised. "After all running and uh…that other thing…will be there later but dinner is kind of a limited time offer." He and Emily had their own plans, which didn't include feeding Howard and Ellen at one o'clock in the morning.

"He makes a good point." Ellen considered, after all, it wasn't as if she wasn't hungry.

"Yeah, after all, man doesn't live by running alone!" Howard considered as the couple conceded to putting their run, and any other plans they may've had, off until after dinner.

….

"This was a wonderful dinner Emily." Ellen complimented.

"Oh thank you Ellen." She smiled.

"Unfortunately the spicy food didn't work on her and the twins, just like it didn't with Emily and Meghan!" Howard was upset.

During dinner, he'd began to hope that it would work and she'd just go into labor already. Unfortunately, the spicy food was beginning to affect him, just as it had before, and he now had terrible heartburn…

"Ellen." Howard said suddenly.

"Hum?" She asked.

"I have one more suggestion."

"One more? Howard we haven't even tried the walking and the…the other thing."

"Yeah, but that didn't work for Emily! I have one more!"

"What?"

"Starve them out!"

"Starve them out! Howard what are you talking about?" Ellen was worried her husband was loosing his mind. "Howard, do you feel okay."

"Give it time Howard, it'll be alright." Bob laughed, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

Bob had been that insistent with trying to force Meghan to be born. Later he and Emily realized that giving their baby her own space and letting her come out when she was ready was the best thing they could've done: everything else was a dangerous waste of time.

…..

_**April 1977**_

"Oh Howard thank you." Emily smiled as he helped her get up from off the couch. Bob came in just then to see his wife in Howard's arms.

"Honey you're home!" Emily was excited. She'd barely seen him in days. He'd been working a lot; finishing up a book he'd started writing the previous Spring.

"You'd think you two were having the baby," Bob remarked.

"Bob, I can't have anymore children, I got a…" He was lying about this part, it was just something he'd told Ellen once or twice and wanted to keep his story consistent.

"Howard's just helping me around the house and keeping me company while I wait for the baby." Emily said quickly. She'd been due the day before and nothing had happened at all.

"And don't worry Bob, if something happens I'll take Emily to the hospital and feed her ice chips until you get there. And don't worry about dinner, I made dinner." He added.

"You're jealous aren't you?" Emily asked when Howard left.

"No." He pouted.

"Yes you are. Oh come on, tell me." She urged.

"He's not helping you Emily, he's, he's taking care of you."

"Shouldn't you be happy someone's taking care of me when I need it?"

"Yes but, you're my wife and it's our baby not his and I should be taking care of you both, not him and I, I guess I feel guilty and cheated."

"Cheated?" She was taken aback by this.

"Well I want to do this with you, I want to feed you ice chips and paint your toenails." He observed that Howard had painted her toenails. Emily laughed.

"Howard painted my nails because I couldn't reach anymore, he thought I should look extra pretty when I have the baby."

"You know how those nurses really expect you to get your hair done and everything before you..."

"Don't worry, the baby will wait for you, I promise. She likes you."

"Well I should hope so I am her Father…how do you know?"

"She calms down at the sound of your voice. And I really don't think anything's going to happen anytime soon."

"It's supposed to you were due yesterday!"

"It's not going to, I went to the doctor today, and she's going to be late."

"Oh, I didn't realize…who took you to the doctor?"

"Howard. Besides nothing's going to happen because I really want it to. My back and my feet are killing me and I'm sick of her feet digging into my ribs."

"So what did the doctor say exactly?"

"Basically that while I may be miserable and wanting to have the baby soon, and while I may be due in just a few days, there are really no signs that the baby is uh…making her way toward exiting if you get what I mean."

"Oh that's too bad."

"But, that doesn't mean that something's not going to happen anytime: for example it doesn't mean I'm not going to wake up in labor at three o'clock in the morning."

"I-in just a few hours." Bob was nervous.

"Bob, nothing is going to happen. She said it would be highly unlikely that we see any action for at least a week…if not more."

"If not more?!"

"Yeah….if not more. The baby's really, beginning, to hurt me, a lot. I wish she'd just pop out."

"Well, did she say anything about options?"

"Options?"

"Yeah, like what we can do to make you go into labor…"

"Well, there are a few things…and I think I know what you're getting at." She teased him.

"What did she say?" He asked.

"She said that if it goes too far, as in we get well into mid-April, she'll induce it. Before then, if we get desperate we have a few options."

"Like?"

"Spicy food."

"Baby already likes Chinese food. That's not going to work." Bob reminded.

"Walking."

"We've been walking." He said.

"And…sex."

"Sex?" He didn't know about this one, he really didn't.

"Yeah, the pressure is supposed to hopefully…either start my contractions or break my water."

"Well…if we get desperate then…" He said and she laughed.

"You just want to…"

"Oh Emily, give me more credit than that." He looked back up at her to see her staring at him. "Okay fine…maybe I wouldn't mind…having sex."

"It's alright Bob…under other circumstances I wouldn't mind either." She said flirtatiously, leaning over to kiss him. "But I'd like to wait a little. While I might be ready for her to come out, I don't get the sense that she's ready to come out yet."

"She's not finished in there I guess."

"No, she's not. The doctor said she could be a little bit bigger."

"Really…?"

"Yeah, I know it's a surprise. And that she'd come out in her own time and I wanna give her time." Bob and Emily gave the baby a few days on her own, but then quickly began trying to get their remedies to work. Over a week later they'd tried almost everything and were still failing.

"Bob?" Emily lye her head back on the couch. She was miserable and officially far overdue, it was the thirteenth now, two days before their eighth wedding anniversary. Emily was looking forward to going out that night, even if she'd be miserable while doing it.

"Yeah honey." He called from the kitchen.

"Are you sure we've done everything possible to get this baby out?"

"Everything on the list." He said.

They'd been trying that spicy food thing every couple of days, going on long walks and had even tried to have sex after the bank robber had almost killed him. But that hadn't worked out. Emily was dismayed that nothing seemed to trigger her labor. Not even the stress of her husband being held hostage by a crazed gunman, or enduring being driven all the way to Bob's office that morning by a panicked Howard, who was shaking so badly he couldn't drive in a straight line.

"But I was thinking we could try the whole spicy food thing again." He continued.

"Only if there's a chance wasabi is involved."

"No problem."

"Why won't she just be born already?!"

"Emily, I think maybe you've just created too nice of a, of a home for her."

"Oh Bob, thank you. That's sweet."

"I have an idea, why don't we go on another walk."

"Oh no Bob, not another walk, my feet hurt too much for another walk." She cried, placing her face on his shoulder as he sat down next to her.

"Okay then, how about another foot rub, and I'll have Howard go out and get us something spicy."

"Chinese." She said.

"I thought you wanted wasabi?"

"I do Bob, but the baby really likes Chinese."

"Okay. She's the keeper of the cravings."

"Hi Bob, Emily." Howard came in unannounced.

"Hi Howard."

"Any baby news yet?" He inquired, sitting in a chair opposite the couch.

"No." Emily groaned. "Nothing."

"Maybe you're just providing too good of a home for her."

"That's what I said." Bob reminded.

"Well, all she does is lye around and eat all day, and as I understand it, it's pretty warm in there... who would wanna leave that to come to Chicago, it's cold, it's dreary, it's pouring rain outside! And you have to fight for every scrap of food! Emily, you should starve her out."

"Howard! I'm not going to starve my baby out." Emily laughed at the suggestion.

"We were actually planning on spicing her out."

"Spicing her out well that would…oh!"

"Yes."

"Lois and I tried that, didn't work but that other method did…"

"We tried that Howard." Bob admitted.

"Didn't work." Emily finished.

"Oh…"

"Howard." Bob quickly interjected. "We were hoping maybe you could go get us some Chinese food."

"The spiciest stuff possible."

"Sure, that sounds great. Hey there's a great movie on tonight too! I'll be back." Bob and Emily exchanged glances as soon as Howard left.

"I guess I don't mind if he stays, maybe he'll paint my nails again."

Bob stayed silent. He sure felt he could use the help at this point.

…..

Emily sighed, leaning her head back against Bob's shoulder. She sat in between his legs as he rubbed her lower back and Howard sat on the floor rubbing her feet. She felt a lot better: her cravings had been well tended too, the baby's stomach was full and her aching spots were getting some much-needed relief. On the other hand, the food had done just as much as the sex and the walking had to induce labor: absolutely nothing…accept for make her even more uncomfortable.

"I swear I could swallow a dozen jalapeño peppers and it would do nothing."

"Emily, I think you did."

"Oh!" She yelped, casing both Bob and Howard to jump. "It's nothing it's just a really sharp kick."

"Oh, one of those again." Bob stopped rubbing her back and moved his hand to her stomach. "Yap it's one of those again." She put his hand over his and they shared the silent moment together of feeling their baby kick.

Howard, on the other hand, was in agony. That spicy food hadn't agreed with him at all and he had no idea how on earth it hadn't caused Emily to go into labor when he felt like _he_ was about to. Nonetheless, the three continued to watch the movie, it was something about killer Zombies made back in the 50's, one of those movies that made him scared, caused Emily to laugh and made Bob roll his eyes.

Eventually, Emily felt the need to lye down. Bob removed the pillows from the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around his wife, resting his hand over where hers lye on the baby. It didn't take long for the exhausted expectant parents to fall asleep. Emily's soft snore caught Howard's ear and he suddenly realized they were asleep. Howard smiled and turned off the TV. He covered his dear friends with the blanket Emily'd been lounging around with for weeks, and watched them fall into a deeper sleep.

"Good night guys." He whispered. "Happy baby."

Emily was the first to wake up the next morning, but it was one of those times when you wake up and decide to just keep your eyes sealed shut because the sleep was so fulfilling and seemed to drag you back in, tugging at all your senses as your mind fought to come to its full state of consciousness. She couldn't dream of waking up, she felt more comfortable than she had in weeks, the pressure was off her back and feet and she felt like she was being held lovingly. She snuggled back further into the loving embrace she felt, suddenly realizing that she really was being held. She recognized her husband's ring on the hand draped across her stomach and took it in her own. Emily recalled lying down on the couch last night and realized they had fallen asleep and that Howard must've tucked them in: both men were so sweet to her.

"Mmm good morning." She smiled when she felt Bob kiss her cheek and wrap his arms around her.

"Morning Emily."

"Morning sweetheart when are you going to work?"

"I'm not, I cleared today to be with you, figuring that the spicy Chinese food may've worked."

"Well, you never know, it might still work."

"I don't know, she's just a tiny baby, look how quickly it worked on Howard. Besides it was a bad plan, we've already established that she likes Chinese food, remember? Way too try to get her out by feeding her something she likes."

"Yeah, that's true. Bob?"

"Um?"

"Lets try that one other method, just once more- maybe it'll get something going."

"Emily, your not back to where your hormones…"

"No!" She laughed quickly. "No honey, I-uh, I just really feel like being close to you and I figure maybe, just maybe it'll work this time."

He smiled. "Good idea."

"And I'm going back to the doctor today. It's been two weeks since she told me she'd be late. But I didn't know she'd be this late. Oh god…my back. Oh…"

"Emily, honey, I think maybe we better take a rain check on that other thing…for four or five months."

"Your probably right."

"How about I get us some breakfast and we get ready to go to the doctor."

"Sounds good. Funny how I woke up feeling so good and all of a sudden…"

"I know honey." He said, kissing her temple.

"Bob?"

"Yeah."

"Am I bigger?" She observed this about herself as she sat up and he walked to the kitchen.

"No…uh…yeah." He had to admit, he was afraid to.

"Ohh!" Emily was frustrated and allowed her self to fall back into the pillows.

"It's okay honey, you'll be much smaller and feel much better in a couple of days, I promise."

"I sure hope you're right."

"I know I am. You know…"

"What?"

"I think maybe the baby's moved."

"As in down?" She was hopeful.

"Yeah. The whole bump has kind of….shifted, since last night."

"And it was already so low…sure sign for a girl by the way."

"Yeah. When my Mother was expecting Ellen, she kinda looked like that."

"All that time ago? Bob you remember that?"

"Yeah. I mean, I was eight or nine Emily."

"I feel like I'm going to deliver a football Bob."

"That's nonsense Emily, the baby will be much bigger than a football."

"Urrrg!" She groaned, she hadn't wanted to hear that, that was for sure.


	10. An Exercise of Three Options, Part 2

Chapter 10- An Exercise of Three Options, Part 2

_**April 14**__**th**__**,1977**_

"Wow that was disappointing." Emily marveled. She was mad and rolled her eyes as she watched the windshield wipers push the rain back and forth rather than clear the windshield. It was raining heavily, which added to her discomfort.

"What are you talking about it was good news."

"Good news?"

"You're dilated."

"One-tenth of the way and it's probably taken all this time and effort for that to happen. And she said she won't induce me until the seventeenth, Bob that's three days away. Three days! She's already two weeks overdue for…"

"I know, but Emily…it is only three days."

"Only three days! Bob that's forever!"

"Is there anything I haven't done that I can do to make you feel better?"

"Yeah, find a way to break my water."

"I guess I can sit on you." He didn't know what else he could possibly suggest. This actually made her laugh out loud.

"Oh Bob, thanks for making me laugh. I've got to say, I'm so sorry that I'm so big and fat and pregnant and moody on our wedding anniversary."

"Emily, you're not fat, you're having a baby, and, I'm really excited."

"Oh honey, me too. And I can't believe we can't have sex." She'd really hoped that she could reserve this as a tool for inducing her labor but the doctor had said absolutely not to this idea. "And I'm sorry this is going to change that part of our life."

"How?" He thought she was loosing her mind.

"Well, the baby's going to take up a lot of our time: my body's going to change…and you know…"

"You're being ridiculous."

…..

_**February 8**__**th**__**, 1981**_

"Ellen you're being ridiculous!" Martha Hartley accused.

Emily scrunched her eyes shut from her place in the nursery. Ellen was particularly sensitive that day and she didn't really want to hear what she was going to say to her mother for accusing her of being 'ridiculous'…it wouldn't be good.

"Emily do you believe that daughter of mine!" Martha burst as she came back into the nursery.

They heard a door slam and Emily immediately knew Ellen had gone home. Emily was changing Molly and Bridget and Meghan were playing in the corner quietly. She really didn't want to get involved with this.

"Well Mom, she is pregnant and tired and overdue…"

"But Emily you weren't like that when you…"

"Sure I was, I just hid it better."

"Oh I don't know Emily…" Martha hesitated.

"Sure, that's what it is Mom."

"Well alright…." Martha didn't necessarily agree. "Girls! Grandma is going now…"

Ellen stuck her head out her apartment door as soon as she heard her Mother get on the elevator. When the coast was clear, she made her way back over to Emily's.

"Ooh that mother of mine!" She said, sitting back down on the couch.

Emily wanted to ask just what was wrong with her but dared not to. She'd been very helpful to her when she was overdue and miserable.

"What, what uh…"

"She wants to name the boys."

"Oh!" Emily was surprised by this, "well Ellen they're your babies."

"I know. And they already have names…did she do that to you with the girls?"

"Well lets see….neither of our mothers liked the spelling I chose for Meghan, both preferred it without the 'H.""

"Oh but I like the 'H.'" Ellen reflected.

"And then I don't think your Mom was too keen on Bridget being called Bridget..." Emily admitted. She'd also been pressuring Emily to have boys instead of girls…but she wasn't about to admit that.

"Well she has names picked out for people who already have them…isn't it enough that she named my brothers and me, and gave me a terrible name." She said, referring to the Inez part of her name, which she hated.

"Oh come on Ellen it'll be okay. How about some cake?"

_**April 15**__**th**__**, 1977**_

"Oh Happy Anniversary honey." Bob awoke to a cheerful kiss from Emily the next morning.

"Emily, you're up, you should be…"

"I'm fine Bob. Happy Anniversary!"

"But…"

"I'm fine." She laughed. "And the baby's fine. Come on get up honey, I made you breakfast." Bob just stared at her for a second.

"It's just that you've been laying around miserable for over three weeks, and the baby's over due, by two weeks. And you're dilated… Given that you…"

"Oh I don't know. I woke up and I felt like getting up! You know you can only lye around for so long. What do you want to do for our anniversary, now that I'm up and around again?" She asked.

"Emily, I don't think, considering that we're going to be parents anytime now, that our doing too much is a good idea." He knew she'd been planning on going out.

"Yes but since we're not going to get to go out so much anymore after the baby comes…"

"You're right. We should do something special. So after I get home…"

"No. I'll meet you at the office!" She was excited by this idea.

"Are you sure you're up for that?" He wasn't.

"Yes! You've got to remember, I'm going to be in the house with the baby…"

"You're right. I'll see you at the office and then I'll take you out for a special surprise." He promised as they kissed.

…..

"Emily! What are you doing here!" Carol exclaimed, seeing Emily step off the elevator. She hadn't known to expect her.

"It's good to see you too." She replied.

"Oh Emily I didn't mean it like that you…"

"Carol honey I know, I'm joking." She giggled.

"Here let me take that." She rushed over and took the bag Emily was carrying off her shoulder. "Emily, you're two weeks late, shouldn't you be…Emily! Is this the baby's bag!" She was alarmed, noting it was the bag she'd given as a gift for the baby. "Sit down! I'll call Bob, no first I'll call the doctor, then I'll call Bob…"

"No, no Carol. I'm fine and actually, I feel great today! I'm just taking the bag with me just incase, because I came all the way downtown and you never know, right?"

"Oh. I'm sorry I'm being so panicky Emily."

"It's alright. A lot of people seem nervous around me right now." She said, easing herself into a chair just outside her husband's office door.

She had a very difficult time doing so. The baby protruded far beyond what she had the previous day and had dropped down even lower, making her mother even more uncomfortable in many ways.

"You should've seen all the men that I got onto that crowded elevator with." Carol laughed at this as Bob's office door opened.

"Hi honey." Emily greeted, turning around as best as she could and smiling at her husband.

"Wow Dr. Hartley, you weren't kidding, she is about to pop." Mr. Carlin indicated. Emily didn't know whether to laugh or to be hurt. But, acknowledging that she was hugely pregnant at this point, she'd just decided to agree and laugh.

"Yes Mr. Carlin, I am. Baby Hartley will be here any hour." She admitted, taking the bag from Carol.

"Em-Emily you brought the baby's bag! Carol don't just stand there, call…"

"Bob, honey, I'm fine. I just thought that if I'm coming all the way downtown, you never know, right?"

"Good thinking."

"And a little bit of wishful thinking…I feel just great today I don't think anything's going to happen."

"You feel great…awe that's too bad." Bob joked, causing Emily to laugh. "Honey, I'll be ready to go in a minute, okay." He said, kissing the side of her head as he walked Mr. Carlin to the elevator.

Emily was excited, about Bob's surprise and hoped it would take her mind off going into labor, or rather, not going into labor.

"Okay honey, I'm ready, just let me get my jacket okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh I promise Emily, you're going to love my surprise."

"Oh I'm excited sweetie!" She said as he took her hands and gently helped her onto her feet. He wrapped his arms around her and they walked to the elevator.

"Bye Carol!"

"Bye, Happy Anniversary, you too Love-birds."

"Thank you Carol, I sure hope baby bird hatches soon." Emily said as the elevator doors closed.

"She will Emily, don't worry." Bob comforted, hugging her tightly and kissed her forehead again. He knew she felt terrible and was just masking it for the sake of their anniversary.

Suddenly the elevator shook and the lights flickered. Bob held onto Emily tightly and did his best to keep her from falling down.

"Emily, are you alright?" He asked. She seemed panicked right away and he quickly cupped her cheeks in the palms of his hands.

"Uh-huh. I'm fine honey."

"I think we're stuck, but don't worry about it, I'll have us out of here, in just a few minutes, just try to relax, stay calm." He cautioned as he began to try to use the emergency phone.

Since the shaking stopped something hadn't felt right to Emily. She wasn't sure if it had to do with her or with the baby, or what. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain, more like a cramp deep inside. It was unlike any pain she'd ever felt, and it caused her to draw a deep breath and pause for a moment. Emily grabbed onto the railing on the inside of the elevator to try to take her mind off the pain, very suddenly realizing what was happening.

"Bob…" She began nervously.

"Just a second honey I almost got somebody."

"Well that's good Bob, because I'm having a baby."

"Of course you are honey, you…" He began; waving her off and turning his attention back to the elevator's control panel.

"No Bob, I mean I'm having the baby right now!"

"You're what? You're, NOW!" He asked. She nodded quickly. "Oh Emily we're…"

"Oh!" She cried.

"Honey, let's, let's just sit you down, okay?"

"Okay, okay. No Bob, I think I'd better lye down."

"Okay." He agreed, helping her to lye down on the elevator floor.

"Bob?" His ears perked up a little bit more. It seemed as if she had something new to reveal every time she said his name and that made him worry about what she was going to say next.

"Yeah." He asked. By now he'd gone back to work trying to get someone on the phone. He was about ready to give up. After all, he'd only pressed the emergency button a million times so far.

"Do you know what to do if the baby comes?"

"Emily, you just started having pains, we're not going to get that far."

"Well gee, I hope you're right. But honey, do you know? I mean you are a doctor."

"Yes, but I'm not that kind of a doctor."

"Oh!" She couldn't help but yell.

"It's going to be okay, I promise. Just try not to scream."

"Oh honey I don't know if I can hold back this is really starting to hurt." Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath, laying her hands on her stomach. "Meghan, please stay in Mommy, please sweetie."

"Emily, it doesn't' work that way. She can't control when she comes out." He thought he'd been telling her that and found it ironic that she now wanted to keep the baby in so badly when all she wanted for the last two or three weeks was to get her out.

"I know…I just wish it would stop." She cringed.

"It's going to be okay sweetheart, I promise. Just relax and we'll be moving again in a jiffy."

"Okay. Okay." She said, taking a breath and deciding to trust him.

Finally fifteen minutes passed and nothing happened.

"In a jiffy Bob?"

"Well maybe not in a jiffy, but soon."

"Ah! Ohhh, there's another one."

"Yeah but it's not too bad yet, they are pretty far apart."

"For now, but in an hour…"

"I'm timing them, they're sixteen minutes apart, we should be…"

"Bob don't say it!" She didn't want him to go and jinx any of their attempts at being rescued.

"Alright fine I won't say it, but we're in a very busy office building, someone's bound to notice the elevator's stuck by now."

"And that there's a lady on her back about to give birth inside?"

"Very funny."

"Ouch!"

"Another contraction?"

"No, just uncomfortable is all." She explained.

"Here, let me help with that." He said, sitting on the floor with her and placing her head in his lap.

"There, that's just the kind of pillow I needed." She laughed, taking his hands in her own.

"How you feeling?"

"Scared."

"Emily you don't have to be scared."

"I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled as he leaned down to kiss her. "How's the baby?"

"I think probably scared too after all, she doesn't know what's going on, but she knows there's something, and her whole world is really about to change."

"Well so is ours." He reminded.

"How do you feel?" She realized she should've been asking him this more than she had been.

"Nervous." He couldn't lie. "And excited too."

"Me too."

"Hey Emily?"

"Hum?"

"Do I feel her kicking?"

"Yeah. Isn't it nice?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Oh!" She tensed up, taking his hand and squeezing it tighter.

"Honey it's going to be alright, just breathe, remember the class…"

"Why did you do this to me!"

"Because you wanted to fool around in a storage locker!" He reminded, realizing the irony that they were now having the baby, trapped in an elevator. "There, worst is over for now, I promise." He informed when her contraction ended. She lye her head in his lap again.

"Bob…I don't want to have my baby in an elevator." She cried.

"Honey. I promise that if I have to I'll deliver the baby and I'll do everything I can to help you bring her into the world safely and to make you as comfortable as possible."

"Oh honey you're wonderful." He somehow felt she wouldn't be using this adjective to describe him again, at least not for a while.

"Well, it is you and our baby and you both mean the world to me."

"Oh Meghan you hear that, you mean the world to your Daddy."

"She heard it Emily and besides, I'm not wonderful, you are." He kissed her forehead, noticing that she still clung to his hand.

"Bob, we don't have anything to wrap her in." Emily noted.

"That's okay, that's what Daddy's jacket is for."

"HEY! Is somebody stuck down there?!"

"JERRY, JERRY!" He answered quickly. "It's me and Emily and Emily's having the baby!" Jerry and Carol, were a floor above Bob and Emily. They had just realized the elevator was stuck and were trying to fix it. They looked up at each other with wide, concerned eyes when they heard Bob's voice.

"Bob."

"What sweetheart?"

"Get me out of here soon." Emily winced.

"It's okay, Jerry's found us."

"HAVE YOU OUT IN A JIFF, BOB!" Jerry called. "They're goners." He lamented, turning to Carol. Bob and Emily heard the second part. Emily groaned and then cried out again, clutching her husband's hand.

"Bob I sure hope he's wrong. I need out of here soon…my water just broke."

"Emily, I promise it's going to be okay." He reassured. "Y-your what just broke!"

_**February 8**__**th**__**, 1981**_

"What is it Howard?" Bob asked groggily.

It was four o'clock in the morning and he'd just answered the door. Emily was exhausted and yawned as she leaned against his back. She figured Howard had come over for some stupid reason like he had the previous few nights, and interrupted their sleep just because they couldn't sleep.

"It's time!" He burst.

"Oh that's nice Howard." Bob yawned, he was about to close the door, but Howard stuck his foot in it.

"Bob, didn't you hear what I said! It's Ellen it's time!"

"It's time!" Bob burst, the realization seemed to wake him up fully.

"Yeah!" He said, "Come on, what are you waiting for its time!"

"Howard." Ellen called.

"Hey I better go, meet you at the car Bob!" Bob was supposed to drive them to the hospital.

"Bob I'm not going." Emily said as she followed him back into their bedroom so he could change.

"Why!" He didn't to wait around the hospital by himself.

"Because it's four o'clock in the morning. It's snowing, it's below zero outside, my girls are babies and they're fast asleep."

"So leave them here!"

"Bob, we have no one to leave them with!" Emily pointed out.

"Oh…yeah."

"Bob, hurry!" Ellen cried from the front door. Apparently they decided not to go to the car without him.

"Emily I really have to go." He said, finishing putting his coat on.

"Honey don't worry about it. One of us should stay and one of us should go, how about this: you go and the girls and I will be there in a couple of hours." Emily offered.

"Alright. That sounds good to me." He agreed. She kissed him, as he was just about to walk out the door.

"Tell Ellen I said everything will be fine! And Bob," she teased, "…don't go getting stuck in any elevators!" He shot her a warning glare that caused her to laugh out loud as she closed the door behind him.


	11. Before my very eyes

Chapter 11- Right Before My Very Eyes

_**February 9**__**th**__**, 1981**_

"Any news yet?" Emily yawned, greeting her husband as she walked into the waiting room.

Emily held Bridget and Molly on her hips and Meghan walked patiently beside her. Meghan managed to attentively hold on to the edge of her mother's coat even though it was difficult for her to keep her tiny three-year-old eyes open, as she was so tired still.

"No. Here let me take somebody Emily." He offered, taking Bridget from her. She smiled as she was transferred into his arms: she never felt that she got enough Daddy time.

"Mommy it's really early." Meghan cried, rubbing her eyes, Bridget did the same and began rubbing her eyes.

"Oh sweetheart I know, but it's important to be here because your baby cousins are being born."

"Were they here when I was born?" Meghan asked jokingly of her cousins. She'd done it just to be rude because she wanted to go back to bed.

"Haha, very funny Meghan." Her father rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes we get up early for other people Meghan." Emily explained, running her fingers through her daughter's hair.

"Okay." Bridget sighed. She wasn't thrilled, by being out this early either, especially because she thought she was in a doctor's office and probably getting a shot.

"Look at Molly." Bob laughed. Their youngest was already asleep once again.

"Well she's a baby." Emily offered. "Think about it Bob, we were here having her down the hall, what, what a year and two weeks ago…she can sleep. Has Howard come out and said anything to you?"

"Not much other than 'help me Bob.'"

"Awe poor Howard."

"Is he okay?" Meghan asked.

"Yes sweetheart, he's just fine." Emily soothed, finding it funny that the girl asked about Howard instead of Ellen.

"Any news Howard?" Bob asked when he saw Howard come out to greet them. Howard shook his head and put his face in his hands as he sat across from Emily.

"No…no news."

"Then, what are you doing out here?" Bob inquired.

"She kicked me out Bob."

"She kicked you out!"

"Yeah uh- she's real mad at me for uh….getting her here." He didn't know how else to say it with Meghan and Bridget present.

"Ah!" Emily laughed. Bob shook his head. Both understood him.

"Anyway I uh…better get back…you know women when they're in labor and better, you know Ellen…she'll be mad if I don't come back!"

"Godspeed Howard." Bob said dryly as his friend rushed back to be with his wife.

"Mommy did you ever kick out Daddy when you were having me?"

Meghan was curious to know about her own birth and Emily carefully noted that she asked particularly about her own birth, rather than the birth of her younger sisters.

"Oh no. Of course not." Emily smiled at Bob. He took her hand in his own. They looked over Meghan and directly into each other's eyes. "I couldn't have made it through without your Daddy."

_**April 15**__**th**__**, 1977**_

"Honey we're finally here." Bob kissed Emily's forehead sweetly as he tucked her into bed. She exhaled.

"And just in time…this is really beginning to get, faster."

"Well we're at 6 minutes apart now, not 16."

He rubbed her lower back softly as she sunk back into her pillows. Getting into a bed had certainly helped her to feel better: the elevator floor had made her back hurt severely and she was so glad she didn't have to give birth there.

"Oh Bob that feels good thank you."

"Whatever you need honey." He rested his forehead against hers.

"It's funny you knew that's the spot that really hurts."

"It's just a lucky guess." He laughed. He was nervous too and she could tell. She thought it was nice that they were both nervous about this whole becoming Mommy and Daddy thing. It was a big step.

"How is everything going in here?" Bob looked up when he heard a familiar voice.

"Mrs. Loomis?" He asked the little old woman, who was his former patient and had been his nurse when he'd had his tonsils out the previous Christmas.

"Dr. Hartley! Are you having your tonsils out again?" She seemed genuinely surprised.

"Uh- no, Mrs. Hartley's having a baby." He thought by the looks of things, that that was pretty obvious.

"Oh congratulations! When?"

"R-right now."

"Oh!" she was pleasantly surprised.

"Arrrggggghhhhh! Mrs. Loomis, do you think maybe you could bring me some ice?" Emily asked, taking a deep breath. "Ahhh…"

"Don't count on it Emily." He said under his breath, reflecting on how mean he had to get to force her to bring him water in the wake of his tonsil operation.

"I heard that!" Mrs. Loomis snapped.

"Oh!" Emily winced.

"But I won't hold that against Mrs. Hartley. I'll be right back dear."

"Emily, it's okay just take a great big deep breath in…one two three…"

"Ahhh!"

"Yeah…out." He said through her scream. "Emily, stay with me you've got to breathe through it."

"Don't give me that breathe through it crap!" She yelled as she continued screaming. He'd known this kind of comment was coming for over an hour now but was still shocked by the way it came out, particularly when she grabbed his collar.

"Okay honey, if you need to scream and you need to strangle something, here take my hand, just give me back my neck."

"Aghghghgh!" Emily burst, squeezing Bob's hand so tightly he wanted to scream also. She couldn't believe that contraction hurt that bad.

"Honey, I've got you. I've got you don't cry." He whispered as tears streamed down her cheeks and she continued to scream. "I've got you, we'll breathe through it together, okay?" He tried again, knowing it really was the best way to keep her calm and focused. He was able to calm her a little by breathing with her, once she was willing to try to breathe through it again. "There honey. Worst is over…are you alright?" He asked once the long contraction had obviously ended.

"I don't know. All I know is we got out of that elevator just in time."

"Do you want me to get the doctor?"

"I think I need something to take the edge off of the pain. Maybe when Mrs. Loomis comes back…"

"Honey, this is Mrs. Loomis we're talking about, I wouldn't count on…"

"I heard that Dr. Hartley! Don't underestimate me. How are you doing, Mrs. Hartley?" She asked, setting a tray of Jello down instead of the ice chips Emily had practically begged for.

"Well, could you please get me someone who can get me something just to dull the pain, it's getting pretty intense. Ooh." She took a deep breath, grabbing Bob's hand again.

"You okay?" He asked once Mrs. Loomis left the room again.

"I think everything's okay. I just wanna rest for a while and get something to take the edge off of this." Emily turned over on her side and closed her eyes.

"Okay Emily." He rubbed her back softly.

"Oh thanks that feels so nice. But I think you should go get something to eat because we're going to be otherwise occupied really soon here."

"Alright, if you think so. You want anything?"

"No…well some ice to suck on."

"No problem sweetheart I'll be right back. But first I'm going to make those phone calls I promised to make to our mothers…"

"Oh no Bob, there's a phone here…please hurry back." He could tell she was scared and didn't want to be without him.

"Alright honey, I'll be right back. Promise." He kissed her before he left. Emily sighed and closed her eyes.

"Meghan, Mommy promises she'll still love you no matter how bad you're hurting her." She whispered.

She wished Bob would hurry back so that she'd have someone there when the next contraction came, which would be any time now. She closed her eyes again and allowed herself to drift off to sleep a little bit, knowing she was going to need it. Emily ran her hand over her stomach as she lye there. She could feel the baby kicking her and was glad because she was wondering how she was sustaining the contractions: she hoped it was better than she was…on the other hand, maybe she was just an overprotective, inexperienced mother…wow…she was a mother?

…

"I think the baby's going to be born before midnight." Bob guessed.

"Um….I'd have to agree." She added. A couple of hours had passed and they'd just found out they were precariously close to actually having this baby. They were both scared to death and tremendously excited at the same time.

"Her Mom and Dad's anniversary is never going to be the same."

"No, it'll be forever more special."

"I agree."

"The nurse gave me some medication when you were gone…" he'd just gone down the hall again, "but not the epidural, I was too late for the epidural." Bob noted that Emily seemed nervous about this and realized immediately that it was why she hurt so much…he felt very guilty in that instant.

"It's okay sweetheart, you'll do just fine. Feel any better?"

"A little, yes." She smiled.

"I brought you something."

"Oh Bob, my ice chips, thank you!" She squealed.

"Here." He said, placing one in her mouth.

"Oh honey thank you…see you did get to be the one feeding me ice chips." Bob smiled at this.

"Yes! And now I have a few phone calls to make." He said almost teasingly, she smiled, falling back into her pillows a little as she sucked on the ice.

Bob first called his parents then Emily's.

"Yes Aggie, she's doing just fine. Can you talk to her? I don't know, she's sucking on ice cubes right now, Emily do you want to talk to your…"

"Ohaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" She didn't hesitate to begin screaming when she felt yet another contraction begin.

"Yeah, Aggie, she's fine…yes I know she sounds like she's in the delivery room now. Emily are you sure you can't talk to her?" He asked covering the phone.

"Bob, I'm in the middle of a contraction, ooh." She shut her eyes tightly.

"Aggie, she's kind of busy right now."

"Fine, I'll talk to her." Emily grabbed the phone resting it in between her head and shoulder so she could still hold her husband's hand and stroke her stomach softly, which she noticed seemed to calm the baby. "Hi Mom. Oooh, no I'm okay. Well yes it really hurts. No, Bob is a wonderful coach." He smiled at this. "Yes, I'm almost there, eight centimet...haaaahaaahhhh!" Aggie almost dropped her phone when she heard this.

"Come on, breathe with me Emily I've got you."

"Ahhhhh!"

"Emily are you okay darling?" Aggie asked.

"Yes Mom, I'm fine…just another contraction." By this time Bob was holding a wet washcloth over her forehead, trying to make her feel a little more comfortable if at all possible. He was surprised when she smiled up at him and took his hand lovingly.

"Yes Mom…Bob will call you when it happens…I'd say you should know boy or girl for sure in just a couple of hours…Yeah, I'd like it if you were here." Emily seemed sad now. "Okay, I'll talk to you later and see you in a couple of days. I love you too. Bob…" She began when she hung up. "If this is going to hurt half as bad as I think it will…I want my Mom!" She began to cry.

"Oh Emily, Emily honey it's going to be okay. I'm here, we've got a lot of people here who know what they're doing and besides: you know what you're about to do: become a Mother. Honey just, just think about how amazing that is."

"It's not funny, I really want my Mommy."

"Oh honey, it's going to be okay, I promise. You've got me. I'm here. You don't have to be afraid of anything."

"Remind me again, of _why_ you did this to me."

"Because you wanted to fool around in a storage locker."

"Oh yeah, that was it, wasn't it. Here, I want you to feel something." She said, grabbing his hand and placing it where they could feel their baby kick. "I can feel her when the contractions stop. She's going crazy too."

"It feels amazing."

"Well, it's about to get a whole lot more amazing."

"I know. Think about it: we uh," he laughed. "We get to meet her real soon."

"I think she's scared."

"What has she got to be afraid of? She doesn't know to be afraid."

"Well the contractions are squeezing her little head Bob…and for that matter her whole world is shaking. And she knows enough to know that's never happened before."

"Well that's true."

"Well then Daddy, you're the psychologist, you talk to her."

"Emily, I-"

"Bob I talk to her all the time."

"Okay, Meghan." He said, speaking directly into Emily's stomach. "There's absolutely no reason for you to be afraid even though your Mom's been screaming her head off out here. A-and your world is shaking." He added.

"Oh Bob ahh…" She began, signifying that her pain was starting once again.

"Hey Emily, I'm here it's okay, it's okay."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhohhhhhyourekid dingmeright!?" Bob wasn't surprised to see tears pour down her cheeks.

"Honey, it's going to be okay just breathe with me, breathe through it. Breathe through it. Worst is almost over, it's almost over, there. Oh Emily you're doing a great job." He praised as she fell back into her pillows.

"Thank you." She smiled, letting out a breath. "Ooh. Bob."

"Yeah."

"I think I'm ready."

"Ready?"

"I think I'm ready to push."

…..

"Oh Bob, I'm so nervous." She said, caressing his hand in her own.

"That's okay. So am I. You're going to do beautifully."

"You promise?"

"I promise." He kissed her.

"I love you." She mouthed, but didn't really say it out loud.

"I love you too." He replied in the same way. She laughed as he held his forehead against hers.

"I'm scared." She finally admitted what he'd known all along.

"You don't need to be scared. I'm right here with you, I'm not leaving and we're finally having our baby. And she's going to be more perfect than we could ever imagine." She smiled. "It's funny…just took getting stuck in an elevator to get her out…and to think all that time we tried to spice her out."

Emily laughed. "Oh Bob it hurts too much don't make me laugh."

"I'm sorry Emily." He apologized. "You know…we should've thought of that."

"How?"

"Well, after all that time we spent trying to make a baby you know, cruises, a trip to Mexico…all those absurd things, i-it just took getting stuck in a basement to get her in."

"Bob, I thought I asked you not to make me laugh." She laughed and winced at the same time.

Bob and Emily realized this was all too real when several nurses came in the room and began to prepare for the baby.

"You're going to do wonderfully Emily." He whispered, taking her hand again.

By now the doctor had arrived. Bob knew it was time and thought he was a little nervous. Emily, on the other hand was both terrified and relieved at the same time. She was ecstatic to be having the baby but was also scared to death.

"Okay Emily, its finally time. Take one nice big deep breath for me, hold it, push and exhale. Very good."

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"You hear that Emily, she said very good." Bob whispered.

Emily wished Bob would stop talking, she was super focused on the huge amount of pain she was feeling, which had only been made worse by beginning to push. Emily shut her eyes tightly, not daring to look at what was going on. Bob's eyes on the other hand were glued to what was happening….or rather not happening. After several minutes of pushing….nothing. In reality, Bob's nerves were beginning to consume him and he wanted to join Emily in her screaming.

"Okay Emily, would you like to rest for just a moment." Her doctor asked. Emily lye back in her pillows and took a deep breath. "I don't think you're pushing quite hard enough."

"The hell I'm not pushing hard enough!" Emily was mad. "Oh, I'm sorry….ahhh!"

"It's okay Emily." She laughed. "Baby's head's just a bit stuck. Lets try it again: push down as hard as you can, okay?" Emily didn't say anything but just pushed.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

"There we go, we've got a little bit of a head now, you can keep going Emily."

Bob felt like he was going to pass out when he noticed the tip of the baby's head for the first time. He wasn't listening anymore, his world was just spinning and he felt so bad for all that Emily was going through.

"Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She screamed as a new batch of tears streamed down her face.

"Good job Emily, we've got his head completely out."

No one had told her it was going to hurt like this. Emily didn't feel like she had the strength to keep going but knew that if she had to choose between rest and pushing, she'd choose pushing. Lying there with the baby just stuck part way in and part way out of her hurt far worse than pushing. Meanwhile, Bob was just marveling over being able to see his baby's head. It was a strange, breathtaking site.

"Emily, shoulders now, they're going to be the hardest part, so take a deep breath and push down into the pain."

Bob noticed Emily start to cry again as she began pushing out the baby's shoulders. She grabbed his collar and screamed as the worst part of the pain came.

"Okay, I'm going have you rest for a few moments: baby's almost completely out, we just need the hips now okay?"

"I can't do this anymore!" She yelled as she continued to sob.

"Yes you can Emily, just one more push with this contraction and you should be done: one, two, three…"

"Aggghhhhhhhhhh!" Bob felt like his hand was being broken and didn't know whether to focus on his wife's screaming, his hand or the baby…the baby! "Agggggghhhhhh!" Emily screamed one final time as the baby finally began to cry.

"Oh Emily, she's beautiful." He whispered.

"It's a beautiful baby girl." The doctor said, laying the baby on Emily's chest.

"Oh!" Emily smiled, ecstatic to finally take her sobbing baby daughter in her arms. She was amazed at how quickly the pain left her and that she was just suddenly consumed with her new baby. "There you are Meghan my sweetheart." She whispered, kissing the newborn as she continued to cry.

It only took a few more seconds for Meghan to stop crying and open her tiny eyes for the first time. Bob and Emily were surprised at how big and blue and clear their brand new baby's eyes were. They were awed by her in an instant.

"Hi Meghan." He whispered, kissing the baby's forehead.

If he thought he was awed to see and hear his daughter for the first time, he'd been even more awed to touch her. Despite being only a few minutes old, Meghan studied her parents very carefully, almost as if she'd been waiting to see them as anxiously as they'd been waiting to see her. Some of Bob's very private worries about fatherhood were put to rest in the moment newborn Meghan searched his eyes: the bond between the three of them was instant.

"Oh good-bye honey, good-bye." Emily soothed sweetly when a nurse took Meghan off her chest. She thought it was a little early for them to take her, and wished they wouldn't but she understood.

"Emily she's beautiful…and her Mommy's amazing." He whispered, leaning down to kiss her lips softly as soon as the nurses took Meghan to clean her and wrap her up.

"Thank you darlin." She whispered, surprising him by kissing him back. "I love you."

"I love you too. Honey, I'm going to go with the baby while they clean her up…and while they clean you up. How are you feeling?"

"Sore. Baby Meghan is amazing."

…

He and Emily had agreed that they didn't want Meghan to be anywhere without one of them present. Personally, he thought Emily was a little paranoid but he'd read about babies getting switched or stolen at hospitals in the past, and he figured he'd comfort her by going along with her plan. Besides, what was the harm in protecting Meghan? They figured that she was probably going to be their only baby and that made her even more invaluable than she already was. Meghan was getting weighed and measured and washed and all of that. Bob felt bad to hear her cry as she was being tended to.

"Hey honey, honey, don't cry." He said, rubbing her tiny head softly.

Finally a nurse wrapped her up in a pink blanket and handed her back to him. He took her in his arms very carefully, he barely knew how to do it…this was his first time holding his flesh and blood baby daughter and it awed him.

"Hey Meghan, you don't have to cry, you know that." He consoled. "Cause Daddy's got you, yeah. Daddy's got you and he loves you very much." He whispered. "And he's not going to let anything bad happen to you, no he's not angel." He said kissing her tiny clenched up fist softly.

Meghan blinked a couple of times as her father carried her down the hall. She was still getting used to feeling of all five of her little senses beginning to turn on at once and it was difficult to deal with. First, Meghan had never smelled anything before and it was close to overwhelming. Her tiny nostrils were filled with the scents and smells of a hospital's maternity ward, which were actually quite strong when one though about it. Second, the sensation of touch was new to her. Not that she hadn't experienced touch before, she was used to being hugged all over by the walls of her mother's womb and the feel of her parent's hands caressing her tiny unborn frame. Being held in her father's arms felt completely different but nice too and she knew she liked it.

Then, of course there was the transition from water to air which was not only strange for her skin but also for her lungs which had just become accustomed to taking in air within the last hour. And then of course there was sound. Meghan could hear before she was born, but everything was so much clearer now and although she understood virtually nothing of what was around her, her little ears couldn't help but tune in to a host of sounds, some of which, her father couldn't hear at all. The only sound she was familiar with was the sound of her parent's voices, particularly her Mom's. And then there was the combination of all of it together. She lye in her Dad's arms and looked up at him as she struggled to keep her little eyes open and focused: she was exhausted.

Bob looked down at Meghan as he walked her back to Emily's room, carefully swaddled in a precious baby pink basket-weave blanket. He couldn't believe that she already looked so much like her mother at an hour old. She had Emily's smile: her cheeks, her little tiny lips…and her eyes were the same and he knew they'd stay that way…and of course, what little hair the baby had was very, very dark brown like her mother's.

"Hey Meghan sweetheart, you're beautiful." He whispered. "Emily?" Bob smiled as he walked into her room. Emily was lying in bed she looked so much better to Bob and Emily certainly felt better that was for sure.

"Hi honey. How's our Meghan?"

"Wonderful." He smiled. "Here, Mommy you wanna see her?"

"I'd love to see her!" She said, holding out her arms and carefully taking the baby. She and Meghan had been together for the past nine months, spending the last forty-five minutes away from her had been surreal and she hadn't liked it.

"Hi my sweetheart." She kissed the baby. "Bob, how did she do?"

"Just fine. She cried a little but that's to be expected, isn't it?"

"Oh poor baby."

"Emily, you're beautiful."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

Meghan, who was silent now, stared up at her Mom for a few split seconds, showing her bright blue eyes.

"Emily, our little princess is beautiful."

"Yeah, she's really neat, huh?" She giggled.

_**February 9**__**th**__**, 1981**_

Meghan was in awe at hearing all of this. Her birth had made Mommy scream like that? Her parents loved her _that_ much? Meghan had, of course, not heard the whole story. Bob and Emily had left out a few things, like references to the storage locker where she'd been conceived, but she got the jest of the story about her birth and was amazed. Meghan hugged her Mom tightly and sighed.

"Oh sweetheart. What was that for?" Emily asked.

"I love you Mommy. Thank you for birthing me."

"I love you too sweetheart. Very much." Emily replied, returning her toddler's hug and giving her a kiss on top of her head.

"I wonder how Howard's doing?" Bob asked, looking at his watch. It had been, believe it or not, two hours since he'd been out to greet them. Bob figured that things must be going somewhat well if Ellen hadn't kicked him out again.

"So Howard?" Bob inquired.

"They're here!" He burst. "Two perfect little boys."

"Oh Howard that's wonderful." Emily smiled.

Meghan calculated this carefully. Two boys, and they were three girls…well this was no good! Boys were mean! Well the ones she played with at the park were…

"Yeah uh, they're amazing and super tiny too…"

"Dr. Hartley!" A voice interrupted Howard.

"Hi Mrs. Loomis." Bob was no longer surprised to see the elderly woman wandering around the hospital.

"Are you having your tonsils taken out again?" She inquired.

He and Emily smiled graciously. Mrs. Loomis had asked him this when Meghan was born then again 15 months later when Bridget was born, and then yet again when Molly was born just a year ago.

"Uh n-no Mrs. Loomis. My sister just had twins."

"Oh! Congratulations! Twins are lovely, I'm a twin you know!" She said, turning to Emily, whom she thought was the sister in question, before she walked away.

Bob shook his head. Mrs. Loomis was a sweet old woman…but she was loosing her mind.

_**April 16**__**th**__**, 1977**_

Meghan Emily Hartley blinked a few times, squeezing her tiny blue eyes tightly and then opening them wide. Finally the newborn decided on keeping her eyes shut. It was the light she didn't like more than anything else, she wasn't used to it yet.

"Emily, she's just beautiful. She's perfect." Bob complimented his wife on the baby she'd just delivered. Meghan had been born shortly before midnight on their wedding anniversary and now a few hours had passed and it was the very early morning.

"I know. I've been able to feel that she was for months now."

"I knew she would be wonderful, I just didn't know how much. She looks just like you. Can't you tell?" He laughed. He still couldn't get over that, he thought it was remarkable.

"How do you know, she's bald."

"She's very obviously got your smile and your eyes, and that's the most beautiful thing ever. I love you."

"I love you too."

"She's the most beautiful anniversary gift ever Emily. Meghan's a wonderful way to celebrate eight years together."

"Yes she is. And she is a wonderful anniversary gift, thank you darling."

"I just came to see how everything's going in here."

"Oh hi Mrs. Loomis."

"You had the baby!"

"I did. Mrs. Loomis, this is our little girl Meghan. Meghan, can you say hi to Mrs. Loomis?" Emily asked, waving for Meghan.

"She can wave already…oh she's so adorable!"

Bob and Emily laughed a little at this.

"Oh she's so sweet! Can I hold her?"

"Oh um…" Bob and Emily were apprehensive about it, but Mrs. Loomis was sweet and Emily figured she wouldn't be allowed to be a candy striper if she were that inept so she handed the baby over for just a second. Bob disapproved greatly and was on pins and needles the whole time thinking she'd drop the baby.

"Awe you were nervous Bob." Emily laughed.

"Yeah, I was. And it's not like you weren't too."

"Well yeah. I was. But she just held her for a minute and she was within my reach the entire time."

"Well, she's my little baby girl, I- Emily, I love her more than anything." He said. "And I'm totally overwhelmed with it."

"Me too, Bob…." She began but was interrupted by the phone ringing. It was Emily's mother calling back again.

"Hi, hi Aggie. Aggie it's Bob. Yes Emily just had the baby. She did beautifully and she's fine, she's just getting some rest. It's a girl. Awe, no she's, she's just perfect. 6 and a half pounds…her name is Meghan. Sure. Honey what's the spelling?"

"For Meghan? M-E-G-H-A-N."

"Yeah. Aggie? Its M-E-G-H-A-N….She says, you know you can spell Meghan without the H."

"Tell her I like the H, Bob."

"Aggie she uh…she likes the H." Bob smiled. "Okay, okay, I'll see you…then." He said carefully. "I like the H too Emily." He agreed when he hung up the phone.

"It's the first spelling that came to me and it stuck. I like it on paper better than the shorter one."

"Me too it's more…unique." He figured as he started dialing the number for his own parents. "Hi Mom. Yes Emily's fine. We've just gotten settled in with the baby…she's a girl." He cringed momentarily; he didn't think this would be popular. He remembered when she had come home with a little girl of her own…that hadn't been popular either. "Her name is Meghan. M-E-G-H-A-N. Yeah I know you can spell it without the H…Mom, Emily likes the H…" Emily was upset that he'd added that part.

_**February 9**__**th**__**, 1981**_

__"Ellen are you still mad at me?" Howard asked carefully.

Hours had passed and night had come again. Bob, Emily and the girls had gone home hours before and Ellen was beginning to feel a little bit like herself again.

"Oh no, no Howard no." Ellen soothed. She lye in bed, looking at her twins, studying her tiny faces carefully.

"You're not?"

"No!" She laughed.

"Why?"

"Well honey, what would be the point? We're here, altogether now…the four of us. Aren't they perfect?" She asked.

Ellen thought her twins were more perfect when she learned they were fraternal. She'd been so worried about having to scramble to tell them apart constantly: she didn't think she'd be good at that, even with her own babies. But now she knew: Ryan had his father's blue eyes and Zachary had her brown ones. That was an easy way to remember when they were very tiny and she was just getting to know them better.

"Yeah." He smiled. He couldn't believe he'd succeeded in starting a family with the woman he loved. The idea was just phenomenal to him, being with her had seemed so out of reach for so long that the idea still overwhelmed him: he couldn't believe it even now that they'd just had twins.

"When's Howie coming?" She asked.

"Tomorrow when we get home: he'll be there."

"Good." Ellen smiled. "Can't you see a lot of him in Ryan especially. You can tell that they're brothers." Ellen hoped, after seeing the twins, that maybe this would help further bridge the gap between her and Howie. Their relationship was still fragile but improving greatly.

"You can tell they're yours too you know."

"And yours." She added. "Howard. I know you think I'm mad at you…and I know Bob thinks we hate each other. But I love you. Thank you for forcing stubborn, stupid me into the best thing that's ever happened to me." He was surprised when she leaned in to kiss him.

"Your not stupid." He said. "Your independence is one of the things I love most about you."

It was actually a huge part of what made her so desirable to him…the fact that she didn't want or need him in the way other women did…winning her had been very much like playing a game. In fact it had been an intellectual chess match, the kind that most people would tell you they didn't think Howard was capable of. Winning it was gratifying to the heart more than anything else.

"Really?" This thrilled her. He hadn't said it ever before and it was one of the most respectful things anyone had ever said. She loved her independence and people had been criticizing her for it for a lifetime. Nonetheless, she still hoped to pass it on to the boys.

"Yeah."

"Your commitment and the fact that you love me so much is why I love you Howard…well one of the reasons. I don't think anyone ever loved me as much as you do."

She valued his love but it hurt her deeply to admit this. She'd been thinking about it as she'd fallen in love with her twins over the last few hours and she'd realized that that lack of love in her life was a big part of her having been hesitant to commit to anyone, even him.

"Well that's not a problem anymore." He smiled. He knew she was referring to her Mother. "Because I'll love you forever."


	12. Lather, rinse, repeat

Chapter 12- Lather, Rinse, Repeat

_**February 1981**_

No one had ever warned Emily that her children were going to be quite this weird. She raised an eyebrow at her daughter's singing as she washed her hair.

"Who has shiny hair? Meghan that's who because of lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat!"

Emily sighed. In the past few months, Meghan had begun to change. She was no longer quiet, contemplative toddler, but had grown into being an outspoken small child, and not only that, but a true girly girl. Emily regretted the day Meghan had asked her what all the words on the back of the shampoo bottle said. Ever since then, she'd heard the phrase: lather, rinse, repeat and realized that it was what made her hair all shiny and smooth after a bath, she'd being saying it, singing it and in short: repeating it over and over and over again, especially while she and her sisters were in the bathtub.

"Who has shiny hair? Meghan that's who because of lather, rinse, repeat, lather…"

"Meghan, calm down sweetheart." Emily urged. She was getting a headache.

"But Mommy it makes my hair shiny and it makes me happy!"

"I know sweetheart, but you don't have to repeat everything over and over again."

"Why Mommy, I like to repeat."

"Because I understand what you're trying to say." Emily emphasized.

"Lather, rinse, wrepeat." Bridget remarked. Molly giggled.

"Emily I'm home!" Bob called from the front door.

"Hi honey! I'm in the girl's bathroom, it's bath time!" Emily called. She lifted Meghan out of the tub as she wrapped a towel around her.

"Hi Emily." Bob sighed as he came into the bathroom.

"Hi honey. I'm sorry I can't get up, we're kind of in the middle of our bath."

"It's okay honey." He said, leaning down to kiss Emily squarely on top of the head.

"Meghan honey, go get dressed, okay?" Emily asked.

"Okay Mommy. Hi Daddy, I was just singing…."

"Lather, rinse…" He guessed.

"Wrepeat!" Bridget finished.

"Yeah. Who has shiny hair? Meghan that's who because of lather, rinse, repeat…" Meghan trailed off as she walked back into the bedroom.

Bob shook his head and sighed. Sometimes he didn't understand Meghan.

"How was your day honey?" Emily asked as she started washing Bridget's hair, which caused the tiny girl to giggle.

"Okay except for Howard."

"Howard?" She questioned.

"Yeah…I can't believe that guy Emily."

"What'd he do?" Emily had only ever been mad at Howard that time he'd threatened to have her car towed.

"He made fun of me."

"Of you? For what?" She wondered what on earth he could possibly make fun of Bob for and plus…it just didn't seem like him.

"I-I just can't believe Howard's treating me this way."

"What way?"

"He's gloating, that's what he's doing."

"What's he doing?"

"He's making jabs at my masculinity because I happen to be the father of three girls and he happens to be the father of three boys…that's what Emily."

"Oh Bob."

"I mean, I don't care…but he thinks I do. I told him that didn't have anything to do with how masculine or feminine a person is…I pointed out your father to him."

"My father?"

"He had three girls too and he's the most masculine person I've ever known in my whole life Emily."

"Yeah that's true." She reasoned. Emily's agreement was cut short by someone knocking at the door.

"I'll get it honey." He said. He got up and rushed back into the living room to answer the door. "Ellen!"

He was surprised to see his sister at the door without Howard, Howie (who'd been staying with them so he could get to know his baby brothers and because of a fight with his Mom) and the twins.

"Hi Bob." She seemed overwhelmed. "I'm sorry if it's a bad time I just really needed somewhere to hide."

"To hide?" He asked, a hint of concern in his voice as he peered out into the hall behind her.

"Quick Bob she might be around shut the door!" She insisted, shutting it for him.

"This is about Mom." He smiled.

"Well yeah…Bob she's driving me crazy! I mean, I appreciate she's trying to help but…she's coming over and fawning over the boys all the time, not letting them nap, telling me I don't know what I'm doing…when Howard does…heck she's even fawning over Howie."

"She's happy to have three grandsons."

"Yeah…I guess." Ellen felt weird about this too. She knew that her mother was now ignoring her five granddaughters completely: Meghan, Bridget, Molly and the two that belonged to her other brother who lived out of state. It made her feel bad about herself, and how her Mother had always been disappointed with being a girl.

"Bob, who is it?" Emily called. She was just getting Molly out of the bath now.

"It's Ellen, she's hiding from Mom!"

"Okay, be out in a minute."

"She's been expecting this." Ellen guessed. She had too.

"Okay, I'm out." Emily said, rushing out of the nursery holding a baby wrapped in a towel.

"Oh Emily you didn't need to rush out here." Ellen began. "I just need a place to hide. So many people have been coming over."

"By that you mean Mom." Bob added.

"I just want my house back! I mean I don't mind Howie, it's his home too now really but everybody else…"

"Meaning, Mom."

"Alright fine I mean Mom." She admitted, Bob smiled.

"Oh Ellen it'll be okay." She said, sitting down on the couch and beginning to put Molly's pajamas back on. "Remember Bob…when we came home with Meghan and we kept trying to avoid everybody."

"Yeah…meaning, Mom."

_**April 17**__**th**__**, 1977**_

Bob and Emily exchanged smiles on the elevator ride back up to their apartment. They sure hoped there weren't going to be a bunch of friends and relatives there waiting for them or anything. They wanted very much, to welcome baby Meghan home privately: at least initially. That's why they'd told Howard, Ellen and their mothers that they were being released from the hospital four hours later than they were actually released.

Emily was exhausted, sore and elated all at once. She carried baby Meghan, swaddled in her arms while Bob, who was overwhelmed and excited in a completely different sense, carried all of their bags.

Emily looked down at Meghan who slept very soundly in her arms. Bob peered over her shoulder, deeply searching Meghan's tiny face.

"Gosh Emily, she's so tiny." Now that they were out of the hospital and in the real world the tiny girl seemed even smaller to both of them.

"I know. She's precious." Emily said, "Isn't it amazing how we keep discovering new things about her?"

"Well, it makes sense Emily, I mean we just met her."

"Well, we did make her…"

"True, but its not like we picked what she inherited and from who…oh Emily, I just love that she has your eyes."

"Oh Bob, that's so sweet!" It just was, no matter how many times she heard it.

"Well I am sweet…and she's more than perfect."

"Well, we're here."

Bob and Emily stopped at the door. Getting home felt different to them now…more…permanent somehow.

"We're home now Meghan." Emily soothed.

"You've been here before." Bob reminded.

"When you were on the inside of Mommy." Emily giggled, kissing the side of Meghan's tiny head.

"Okay, Daddy and Mommy are going to show you everything, okay?" She said.

Bob thought it was ridiculous to show the baby all around the house, but assisted Emily in doing so anyway.

"Honey, we don't really have to show her everything…do you think she needs to know where our bathroom is just yet?"

"Well yeah, she needs to know where she is Bob. And this is your room Meghan." Emily said when they at last reached the den/nursery. "Isn't it beautiful angel, huh? And it's all just for you, yeah." She soothed. She took Meghan to the window and showed her the outside view. "Look do you see that? Even Mommy and Daddy don't get that spectacular lake view, but you do, look angel, you see that?" Meghan blinked a few times and yawned. Being brand new and everything, she could only keep her interest for so long and was in the process of falling asleep again.

"Someone's getting sleepy."

"Yes, she is, isn't she Daddy?" Emily smiled, leaning back to give Bob a small kiss on the lips. "Well, let Mommy finish real quick. There's the rocking chair, where' you'll eat and snuggle with Mommy and Daddy and go to sleep…and the changing table where you'll get precious new little outfits and clean little diapers and last but not least, this is your bed honey, where you get to have little baby thoughts and little baby dreams." She giggled, kissing Meghan softly. Bob did the same.

"Wow, you're really in love aren't you?" He asked once they'd put Meghan in her crib to sleep.

"Aren't you? Of course I am."

"I am too, just the…the way you romanticized baby sleep and changing diapers back there..I just."

"I'm sorry if I got carried away. I just wanted to welcome our new baby home that's all." She smiled, kissing his cheek again. "But for now I'm going to go get my pajamas on and get in bed." She said.

"That sounds like an excellent plan sweetheart." He said. Bob and Emily froze when someone knocked on the door.

….

"Hi Meghan." He smiled, marveling over the baby girl in his arms.

This was his first time alone with his daughter and he didn't really know what he was supposed to say to her. But he sure wished he could think of something because this was getting awkward. They'd had several visitors in the last couple of hours, and Emily had only recently gotten to bed.

"How do you like life so far?" Meghan blinked, flashing her little blue eyes at him and sighing as she closed them.

He was overwhelmed. Everything she did was so sweet. He kissed her softly as he rocked her. He couldn't believe he was really her Father. She was so perfect. Bob admired Meghan's tiny fingers, noting how carefully she'd been knit together in Emily's womb: that she was Emily's flesh and blood and his flesh and blood all in one tiny brand new person who they both loved more than their own lives…he was romanticizing this whole thing too.

"Hey Meghan, did you know Daddy loves you so much? Yeah, Daddy loves you." He told her soothingly. "You're amazing, anybody ever told you that before?"

She smiled up at him.

"Hey Bob!" Howard practically yelled when he came in, slamming the door behind him. "Oh this is, is this her. This is the famous little Meghan can I see her!?"

"Howard, please be a little more quiet, Emily's sleeping and the baby's...well, you can hold Meghan. Just don't drop her. Emily will kill me if you drop her. Here Howard, there have you got her head?"

"Yeah, yeah I…do I?"

"You've got her Howard." He reassured.

"Wow she's beautiful. She looks so much like Emily, I can't believe it."

"Yeah, I know. She does." He yawned. "And you haven't even seen her eyes yet."

"Her eyes?"

"They're Emily's eyes exactly."

"Wow!"

"They're very wow."

"How are the new parents? I remember when Lois and I brought Howie home...twelve years ago now."

"We're exhausted Howard."

"Hey I'm your Uncle Howard. Hi Meghan!"

"He's the one whose been painting your Mother's toenails." Bob explained.

"And your Aunt Ellen's on the way up to see you."

"Oh great."

"What's the problem, she's just your sister."

"I know but everyone under the sun has come by to see the baby—even friends I didn't remember we had and it's just getting hard to adjust that's all."

"Oh I see…"

"Howard, I didn't mean you, you're always here anyway. Out of anybody I don't mind your being here at all. We just wanted her first few days to be calm and normal, and you're part of our normal. Besides, you've had a baby before maybe you know something I don't." He laughed at the possibility that this might be true.

"Well, I do actually."

"Like what?"

"Well, you weren't holding her right."

"How could I not be holding her right Howard? I've got her back and her little head right here in my two hands." He said.

"That's too much work. Look, it's like this." He said, carefully placing Meghan back in just one of Bob's arms. "You were being overly careful before. She's a newborn, she's tiny, cradle her…comfort her. You were too rigid before." He said.

"Thanks Howard." He said, noting how Meghan sighed and settled into his embrace once he held her this way. He couldn't believe Howard was right about something like that. He'd been kidding when he offered that maybe Howard knew something he didn't….well, partially.

_**February 1981**_

__"Yeah…Howard's really great with the boys." Ellen smiled.

"He helped us so much with Meghan." Emily admitted, although Bob didn't really want to.

"Well, what about Mom?" She asked. "Was she helpful?...Or just intrusive, manipulative and accusatory."

"Wow Ellen, I've got to tell you, I sense no hostility there." Bob laughed.

"Anyway." Emily continued. "The parents did eventually start trickling in."

_**April 17**__**th**__**, 1977**_

"Hi honey, how are you doing with Meghan?" Emily asked, yawning as she came out of the bedroom.

Several more hours had passed since Howard had been there and the house had been quiet for most of that time. It was turning to evening now though and Bob hoped that the guests would stop coming for the day…even though he was expecting a few some ones.

"Oh we're doing just fine. I was just about to give her a bottle. What are you doing up anyway? You shouldn't be up yet."

"Oh, I just felt like getting up that's all. I'm not that tired. Besides your Mother will be here soon." Bob rolled his eyes. "Honey it's nice that she wants to help and we need the help. If you think we're tired now, I don't think you have any idea how tired we'll be in a couple of weeks."

"No I…I guess not."

"I wish you would've woken me to feed her honey, let me see her. Oh gosh she's so cute." Emily smiled, taking Meghan in her arms.

"Howard was just saying she looks just like you."

"He was here…. oh I'm so surprised," she said sarcastically, "but that's sweet."

"And Carol was here and Jerry was here and even Mr. Carlin was here."

"Awe."

"He claimed she didn't like him. She was asleep."

This made Emily laugh out loud.

"And soon my Mother will be here." Bob wasn't looking forward to this.

"Bob, she's been waiting for this for a long time. Let her enjoy the baby. And who isn't going to love Meghan, huh?"

"It's going to be one of those things Emily, where she'll come to visit and she'll wind up moving in."

"Oh no, Bob you're right. Well we'll just have to be firm. At least we don't have the den for someone to sleep in anymore. Bob…who should we give Meghan to, you know…if something happens to us?"

"That's a good question: what are your ideas? Our parents are too old."

"I was thinking Aunt Ellen…she's young, and fun, smart and responsible."

"I agree Emily, that's perfect."

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Emily's eyes grew huge.

"Bob! I'm not ready for anybody, look at me!" She said, holding her robe shut tightly.

"How ready should you be Emily, you just had a baby."

"Oh." She whined, fluffing up her hair a little bit and moving to answer the door. "Mom, Daddy!" Emily burst, hugging them tightly. She was elated to see them and had no idea that they were even coming.

Her father hugged her so tightly he picked her up off the ground for a split second. Bob smiled, he knew they were coming: she didn't. By this time, he'd ducked back into the nursery with Meghan and put her down to sleep for a few minutes. She was tired and hungry and he figured that she deserved at least a few moments rest before four grandparents, an Aunt and soon to be an Uncle (Howard) passed her around continually and argued over who got to hold her. Bob took a second to gaze down at his tiny newborn daughter and wondered if she'd grow up to love him nearly as much as Emily loved her father: he hoped she would. He already loved her more than he thought he'd ever loved anyone, even Emily.

"Emily!" Her father, Junior, began.

"Honey, are you alright. How are you feeling?"

"I'm a little tired, but I'm just fine…oh it's so good to see you, can I get you anything?"

"Oh no, no Emily please sit down you just had a baby you shouldn't be up."

"That's funny that's what Bob said when I got up."

"Well he would know, wouldn't he, he's a doctor…" Her father remarked. Emily smiled half-heartedly at this. He always liked to make little jabs about how Bob was a psychologist rather than what he called a 'body doctor,' or sometimes even a 'real doctor.'

"Where is Bob?" Her mother, Aggie asked.

"And the baby?"

"Oh, he was just putting her down for a nap when you came. She's very tired."

"Oh that's too bad."

"Emily, can't we see her?" Her mother pled.

"And she is a girl?"

"A perfect little girl." Emily confirmed.

"Absolutely perfect. And fast asleep." Bob said, smiling at Emily as he came back into the room.

"Hi Bob."

"Oh congratulations!"

"Thanks Aggie, Junior."

"Can we see her now Emily."

"Okay, okay." Emily laughed, getting up and leading her parents into the nursery.

Meanwhile, Bob had decided to make a pot of coffee and do his best to prepare for the arrival of his parents, sister and best friend (soon or at least, eventually brother-in-law to be).

"Awe Emily, she's beautiful!" Aggie squealed.

"She'll pass for a grandson, that's for sure!"

"Daddy!" Emily questioned.

"No, I mean like you."

"Like me?" She laughed.

"She's adorable sweetheart." Emily's father said, kissing the side of her head. Personally, he couldn't barely fathom that his baby had just had a baby. Could he really be that old? He guessed he was.

"Mom, Daddy, this is Meghan."

"Meghan, I like it."

"It's an adorable name. I only wish we could hold her."

"When she wakes up…and after she has her bottle."

"Are you alright honey, I was so concerned about you with all that screaming."

"I'm just fine Mom." Emily giggled. "Look how pretty she is, wasn't she worth all that screaming? She's perfect."

"Yes, she seems worth all that screaming."

"Bob was, uh- uh with you when you had the baby?" Junior seemed uneasy about this.

"Oh for every second. I couldn't have gotten through without him. Isn't that right, Meghan Emily Hartley?"

"Emily, that's a beautiful name." Her mother commented. Emily thought it was certainly prettier than her own name: Emily Joyce. She ran her fingers through the baby's sparse dark brown hair as she slept.

"Listen," Emily yawned. "Bob will get you anything you need, please feel free to watch the baby, help yourself to anything, but I'm exhausted, I have to sleep when she's sleeping and I'm really, really sore: I need to lye down."

"Oh honey, we're sorry, we'll let you rest, okay." Emily's mother said, kissing her cheek softly. Her father pat her back and without another word she left, in the hopes of going to take a nap. The Harrisons stayed in the nursery and watched their newborn granddaughter sleep.

"Doesn't she look familiar, Junior?"

"Very." He laughed. "Just like newborn Emily."

"If you think she looks like Emily now…just wait until she opens her eyes." Bob said as he poked his head in the door.

"Her eyes?"

"They're beautiful eyes….and they're Emily's exactly. Just watch, she'll open them any moment."

Aggie and Junior stood there and watched their newborn grandchild sleep in the hope that she would wake up and they could meet her for the first time.

Meghan sighed as she began to stir and her eyes fluttered open.

"Hi beautiful." Aggie greeted.

Meghan looked up at them with her wide blue eyes.

"Wow, she does have Emily's eyes." Junior marveled.

Emily's plans of lying down were tabled by the arrival of her in-laws. It didn't matter how much pain she was in, she wanted to pay them the same courtesy she'd paid her own parents: spend some time with them, and introduce them to their new grandchild. It was just too bad that Martha Hartley didn't feel similarly about courtesy.

"Where's the precious baby?" Martha asked before Bob could even take her coat.

"She's, she's asleep Mom." Bob explained. He was nervous she'd say something about the baby being a girl, something that may hurt Emily. She was sensitive and totally in love with their baby, he didn't want anything to hurt her right then or at all.

"Oh I can't wait to see her! Even though I was expecting a little boy…"

"I don't know." Junior laughed as he and Aggie came out the of the nursery. "I think she's a perfect little girl. Martha would soon discover that this was because she looked just like his own little girl: a carbon copy.

"Junior Harrison." Martha began.

Herb Hartley just said nothing, but laughed to himself, knowing that his wife was going to make a fool out of herself any second. He wished she'd just be nice to people for a change, especially because she was really only judgmental and not a real jerk.

"Hi Martha." Aggie smiled.

"When did you get here?" Martha was insecure with that kind of thing, she had wanted to be there first.

"We've only been here a minute." Aggie emphasized, putting her purse down on the couch.

"Right." Junior finished. "And we would've brought her out, but she's half asleep."

"Yeah Mom, Dad…" Bob said.

"Come on." Emily said to her in-laws. "I'll take you to see the baby."

…..

"Well can't I stay, maybe over night or something…I know you're going to need the help…" Martha insisted as all four parents put on their coats. Emily had gone to bed about a half hour earlier. Meghan had fallen back asleep again and Aggie suggested that everyone leave and give the new family some rest, at the agreement of Junior, Bob and Herb.

"No, no Mom…" Bob began. "Meghan and Emily need their rest, but you're welcome to come back tomorrow."

"Well alright." She supposed.

"Congratulations son." Herb smiled as he took his wife's arm and walked out the door.

"Night Bob." Aggie added.

"She's beautiful." Junior followed.

"Hi everybody!" Ellen smiled; excited she was only seeing her mother in passing.

"Ellen I…" Martha began.

"Hi Mom, hi Dad." She said. Herb smiled at his daughter and continued to pull his wife down the hall.

Bob and Emily were relieved that Ellen arrived literally as soon as both sets of parents left for the evening.

"Wow." Ellen said, holding her niece for the first time. "She's incredible…and so tiny! How are you feeling Emily?"

"I'm wonderful Ellen." She said. Bob had gotten her up, again, when Ellen had arrived.

"Ellen." Bob began, "we have something we'd like to talk to you about."

"Oh."

"Now, you don't have to decide right now and you don't have to say yes if you feel it's not right for you, but well…Bob and I were talking and we want you to have our baby if something happens to us…"

"And any siblings she might have…in the future."

"Wow."

"We know it's a big step, and you don't have to accept we'll understand."

"Wow I can't believe that you'd consider me, I…"

"Aunt Ellen is young and fun and smart and most of all has a great head on her shoulders." Emily explained. Ellen smiled.

"Emily, I accept." She smiled. "Look at Meghan, who wouldn't accept her?!"

"I know." She gushed, leaning over her sister-in-law's shoulder to admire Meghan. "Mommy certainly can't think of anybody who wouldn't."

…

_**February 1981**_

"Mommy. Our hair's still wet." Meghan cried as she and Bridget ran into the room.

"Oh honey I'm sorry. Mommy will be right in to dry your hair." Emily apologized. She handed Molly to Bob and went in the other room with the girls.

"I remember when you asked me to be the girl's Godmother…and Bob I want you to know, I'd still do it." She smiled.

"I know. Because your amazing Ellen." He hugged her. "Now about you and Mom…"

"No, no Bob I'm not even going there."

"You don't even talk to her half the time."

"Have you ever talked to her?!" Ellen stopped suddenly when they heard a knock at the door.

"Bob, Emily…is Ellen over there, no one's answering the door!" Martha called.

Ellen rolled her eyes, and let her forehead fall onto her brother's shoulder.


	13. You'll get used to it eventually

Chapter 13- You'll get used to it eventually

_**February 1981**_

"Mommy?" Meghan asked.

She and her sisters were playing on the floor by the patio door, where they always seemed to be. And Meghan had come into the kitchen to ask her mother a question she'd been trying to word correctly for a while now.

"Yeah honey." Emily acknowledged. She was just finishing making dinner…for the eight of them.

"Does Grandma not like us anymore?" Meghan continued. She and her sister had begun to wonder this lately.  
"Oh no honey, why would you think that?" Emily laughed.

"Because she loves our new baby cousins more because they're boys."

"We're girls." Bridget added, denoting that she shared her sister's concern.

"Oh honey she still loves you." Emily reassured as she finally finished putting dinner down on the table.

"I don't think she does." Meghan voiced. She wasn't really upset, just confused.

In a way Emily agreed. She too wondered if she and her girls would be totally neglected by Martha now that she'd finally gotten two grandsons…and a third if you counted Howie, which, Martha did. But she didn't want the girls to know that just yet. They, at least, still had the Harrisons and Herb Hartley, who Emily knew would always care about his granddaughters. He, after all, cared about Ellen in a way that his wife didn't and had been supportive of his daughter in virtually all the decisions she'd made in life: even announcing she was having twins before she was married.

"Hi Emily, hi girls." Howard said, as he came into the apartment, carrying one of the twins. Emily wasn't sure which one.

Emily was sick of feeding everybody every night. It took a lot of effort. Worse, she was sick of helping Ellen with everything, especially with the round the clock feedings of two newborns: she had a job, and three of her own small children after all. On the other hand, Emily felt bad for Howard and Ellen. It seemed like one of the boys always needed something, and that no one in that house was getting any rest…all that didn't account for why Howie had suddenly moved in, something which, she and Bob hadn't been informed about yet.

Emily had gotten her three daughters over the course of two and a half years. That had been stressful enough, but poor Howard and Ellen had gotten three kids in just one day: two newborns and a teenager. What Bob and Emily didn't know was that Howie had gotten into a fight with his mother the night Ellen went into labor with the twins (about something totally unrelated). One thing led to another, he didn't really even know what had happened, but he found himself with a duffle bag waiting at his father's door when he and Ellen returned from the hospital, thinking that his arrival there was long over due.

Under the circumstances, and because Howard had always wanted to, they only saw it fit to take in the now almost grown boy. Howie was proving to be great help with the twins, but was an emotional burden on his father and stepmother at a time when they could least handle it. Ellen, after all, felt like she had no idea what she was doing with her own babies and was immensely frustrated.

"Oh hi Emily." Ellen groaned. She also carried one of the twins with her as she walked into the apartment. "Oh I'm so tired."

"Yeah me too." Howard admitted. Bridget and Meghan crowded their Aunt and Uncle, as soon as they walked in, in attempt to get a glimpse at the babies.

"Bridget, Meghan, sweethearts come here, okay? Come help Mommy with dinner." Emily told them, not wanting to give Howard and Ellen anything else to have to watch over. "Where's Howie?"

"Oh he'll be here in a minute." Ellen assured as she yawned. "These two never sleep." She sighed, lying Zach down and running her fingers through her hair.

"Yeah and they eat all the time!" Howard added.

"And we've tried to do so many things with them…" Ellen began.

"Yeah and we don't know what we're doing!" Howard admitted.

"Howard…" Ellen was embarrassed, she didn't want anyone to know they thought that, even Emily. "Emily, were you and Bob like this with any of the girls?" Ellen asked. She thought that she was probably the only woman on earth who didn't know what to do with her babies…and that Emily was the last woman on earth who would have that problem.

"Well…" Emily contemplated. "Sort of. Bridget was a round the clock baby and Meghan has always been an all night sleeper, almost right from the day we brought her home from the hospital."

"I was a good sleeper Mommy!" Meghan liked to be good at things.

"Meghan you still are." Ellen reminded. It seemed as if Meghan could sleep through almost anything, and like Emily she would snore while doing it.

"Oh yeah." Meghan recalled.

"Oh yeah, I remember that." Howard reflected. "Only Meghan, when Bridget was a newborn, she'd wake you up all the time." That had been bad.

"That was horrible." Emily explained. "But Bob and I didn't really know what to do with Meghan when we very first brought her home and when she was still getting up for three, four am feedings and that was almost worse than Bridget because we were just lost."

"You were?" Ellen asked, she seemed hopeful.

"Very!" Emily laughed, fine with admitting this about her first days as a mother.

….

_**April 1977**_

Emily found herself stumbling around the house. It was her first day alone with Meghan as Bob had gone back to work. She was exhausted and couldn't imagine going back to work. Emily was kind of scared and very thankful that the baby was just calmly lying in her crib sleeping. Howard was flying that week and wouldn't be around to help her either. It seemed like he'd been of too much help to them. She felt totally helpless: like she was the worst mother in the history of the world and she and Bob couldn't do this on their own.

Emily was also still sore and exhausted from giving birth and it was slowing her down in everything she did. Part of her felt like she had so much under control, and another part of her wondered how she was possibly going to do this. She thought back to all those years of third graders she'd taught. It was comforting to think that all of their parents had been through this with those kids at one time or another. That met she and Bob would get through with Meghan…in time.

Emily decided to store her doubts away for now. There was not much she could do about them and she thought they were likely pretty unreasonable. She turned on the television and decided to nap on the couch…drifting off to the afternoon movie sounded like good way to fall asleep. She sighed, closing her eyes and finally allowing herself to rest. As soon as she began to fall to sleep she was jerked awake by the baby's loud cry.

"Oh honey, honey, you don't need to cry, honey it's not so bad it's okay!" Emily soothed, yawning as she picked Meghan up. "Baby, what's a matter, huh, what is it?"

It didn't seem to be anything at all. Emily wasn't very adept at this yet and had little idea what was going on with Meghan. Nonetheless, she rocked her in the hope the screaming would stop. She wondered if little newborn babies could have nightmares…or get scared if they woke up and Mommy wasn't there…did they know enough for that? "There that's my baby, what was Mommy's girl crying about?" Emily laughed.

"Hi honey." Bob greeted, Emily looked around for a clock, was it really that late in the afternoon that he'd be home? In truth Bob had decided to come home a little early to make sure she was all right.

"Hi Bob! Shu I just got her calm she's been screaming for the past twenty minutes…at least."

"Oh what's wrong?"

"I don't have the slightest idea. She was just asleep and then all of a sudden she got so fussy."

"Oh poor baby…is Mommy okay?"

"Yeah I think. Oh Bob are we ever going to get the hang of this."

"We will in time, I promise, Emily."

"Even that thing that I told you we had to do tonight?" She asked nervously.

"W-what thing?" He was worried. There'd been so many new things lately: from feedings, to diapers, to just getting her to sleep, which was really the hardest.

"The bath."

….

"Do you have any idea how to do this?" Emily asked. She was nervous. Emily held Meghan in a little towel; they were just about to give her, her first bath. She'd been afraid they'd drown her or something and had been putting it off for a while.

"Not the faintest idea, but we're going to have to give it a try."

"Give it a try, Bob, we're going to have to learn how to do it!" She exclaimed.

"Well, now's better than later." He said, rolling up his sleeves.

"Oh my poor baby, I think she'll cry." Emily said of Meghan.

"Of course she'll cry." He didn't know what else she expected.

"Okay, bath time Meghan." Meghan had only had one other bath since she was born and that was at the hospital. Bob was fully aware that they had zero idea of how to do this and he too was afraid of making her cry or just doing it wrong.

"I think the key to this is being quick with it Bob."

"Emily, it's just water," he began, thinking that calming Emily's nerves might be the key to make this go well. "I mean, what was she doing for the whole nine months before she was born, she was spending her time floating around in a bag of water!"

"Yeah, I know." She said, still unsure. "But Bob, before it was nice and warm and she's going to be cold this time." Emily turned to look outside, a cold snap had come after Meghan was born and it had begun to snow again. It was so late for snow.

"We've still got to do it."

"I know…but how do we dry this perfect little bit of hair?" Emily questioned as she baby-talked to Meghan.

"Better question Emily."

"What?"

"When was this thing supposed to have come off?" He asked, indicating the baby's stomach as he took her in his arms.

"Her cord…by three weeks."

"Oh…so soon."

"Yeah, it's why I don't dress her up that much yet, that creepy, bloody little thing on her tummy." She figured that it might not be comfortable to have that attached to your skin, on top of everything else." Okay, I guess we better get this over with." Emily determined, rolling up her sleeves. "I'll wash the baby, you hold her."

"That works for me if it's the way Mommy thinks it can work."

"Yeah, unless Daddy would rather…"

"No, Daddy isn't sure he knows how."

"What, you wash yourself."

"Yeah but getting soap in her eyes and all that." He offered, Emily hadn't even thought of that.

"Honey, I'm going to wash her with a wash cloth anyway, besides with her umbilical cord still there we can't just submerge her in water."

"They did at the hospital Emily, I was there and the poor baby was screaming."

"Well this is what I've been told to do. You ready Meghan?" Meghan fussed a little as her Mom began to wash her, but her crying began to slow down tremendously. She felt safe in her Dad's arms and comforted by her parent's soothing words, despite the fact that this felt really strange…well scary.

"There we go Meghan, come here honey, this should feel better." Emily soothed. In the end, Emily took her in her arms and they wrapped her up in her blanket. "Mmm Mommy's girl." She said, kissing her daughter's tiny head very softly.

"Mmm, you're a Daddy's girl too." Bob interjected, doing the same.

"Yes, isn't that right Meghan, you're both Mommy's and Daddy's girl, aren't you?" She kissed her.

"Yes she is, what do you want to dress her in, Emily?"

"Daddy should pick." Emily said, laying the baby back on her changing table.

"What about that baby pink one, with the feet?"

"Bob…"

"What?"

"Bob, it fell off!"

"It…it what?"

"It fell off, her cord just fell right off."

"Well good: It was about time that was supposed to happen, right?"

"Yeah and it's also a right of passage to put in the baby book. Look at that Meghan, look what you got! Yeah look what you got, a nice clean little belly button!" Emily squealed, causing the baby to giggle. Emily felt like she'd finally done something right and totally rejoiced in the idea…even though she knew she had nothing to do with the baby's cord falling off.

"See Emily, we got through that all…with an achievement…of sorts too and she's okay."

"Yeah that's right. She's alright and we're alright." Emily was glad about this.

Meghan was still awake in Emily's arms, but barely. Her tiny eyes were struggling to stay open and were loosing the fight miserably. The warm bath had scared her at first, and then just made her sleepy like it did with a lot of people who really enjoy having a nice bath. Emily smiled again, taking great joy in the baby and her sweet, sleepy little smile.

"What do you want to do now?" She asked him.

"Well, I figure I could make dinner for us and maybe we could feed the baby, watch a movie if we're especially lucky and most importantly: get some sleep."

"Oh sleep Bob, really do you promise!" She wished Meghan would've let her nap earlier.

Suddenly someone knocked at the door. It wasn't Howard's knock.

"Who could that be?" Bob sighed, exasperated. Emily said nothing. She knew he was tired, but he had no idea how tired she truly was, he just couldn't. "Emily, it's alright, you go put the baby down, I'll get it."

"Okay honey." She agreed.

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Oh!" Bob was surprised to see his friend the Peeper and his wife Corrine….with a hallway filled with balloons behind them when he answered the door. He wished they'd chosen a better time to drop by but wouldn't dare say anything to them about it.

"Happy Baby, Bob." Cliff burst.

"Yes, happy Baby!" Corrine kissed his cheek as she made her way into the apartment. "Where's Emily?"

"I'm here!" Emily called, not really knowing yet, who she was talking to. "Ah! It's Corrine and Cliff!" She cried, embracing Corrine, who she'd grown close to, she was secretly still not all that sure about Cliff though.

"Emily, how are you feeling?"

"Well, kind of tired, you know, the usual."

"We won't keep you…"

"No, no, you came all this way." Emily insisted. "Stay, what would you like, tea, coffee…"

"Coffee please." Corrine requested.

"Black." Cliff added.

"With two sugars." Corrine reminded.

"And maple syrup." Cliff just had to have it.

"I'll make the coffee, honey, you sit down." Bob whispered in Emily's ear. She nodded and began to converse with their guests.

"Cliff, did you really come all the way to Chicago because we had a baby?" Bob asked his friend as he got to work in the kitchen.

"Well, yes and no. Yes we came to Chicago because you had a baby, no because we were headed to Las Vegas anyway."

"To check on our newest restaurant." Corrine added.

"Taste of Vermont."

"How's that going, must be doing well?" Emily asked.

"Sure, but what about your new baby Emily?" Corrine thought that sounded more interesting.

"Yeah, where is the little tyke, I wanna meet her." Cliff added.

"Alright, we can go meet her, but she's asleep, so just as a warning we have to be very quiet." Emily informed, hoping he wouldn't dare ask if the baby had been named Cliff.

"Uh…Emily." Bob called as she began to lead Cliff and Corrine in to see the baby, he wasn't sure it was a good idea.

If Meghan woke up, it would take two hours to get her back to sleep, for sure. But Emily ignored him. If they came all this way, it was only fair that they got to at least see a sleeping baby. Bob and Emily stood on either side of the crib's headboard.

"Cliff, Corinne, this is our baby daughter Meghan _**Emily**_ Hartley." Emily emphasized the Emily part. Corrine casually hit her husband in the stomach and giggled: apparently he'd heard the whole story.

"Gosh Emily, she's adorable." Corrine smiled.

"She looks just like you Emily." Cliff realized.

"Thank you, she is cute, isn't she?" Emily giggled and they all laughed.

…

_**February 1981**_

"Yeah Emily." Bob said as he walked in the door, he'd just heard the last little bit of the story about the Peeper and his wife coming unexpectedly, to visit. "That was a case of too much company: remember when Cliff woke her up…so much for our fabulous night….hi my girls oh let me see ya."

He lifted Bridget, Meghan and Molly into his arms as all three had come to greet him as soon as he'd showed up.

"Who would've guessed the Leaper would've been so stupid as to wake her up!" Howard was angered by this. Ellen just stared at him for a moment. He'd woken up their babies several times.

"Dinner is served." Emily said, quickly beginning to notice the way Ellen was looking at her husband. If a fight was going to start she did not want it to be at her dinner table that was for sure.

…..

"Ummm Howard….Howard get up."

"W-what!" He hated being woken from a sound sleep.

"You have to fly today honey." She didn't want to remind him of this. "And I'm sorry but its time to get up." She was exhausted but kissed him softly to greet him good morning. Howard didn't want to be reminded of flying either, he just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep.

"Hi." He smiled.

"Hi." Her giggle was interrupted by a yawn. "Hum, can I go back to sleep?"

"Sure sweetie." He said, kissing the back of her head as she buried her face back in her pillow.

"Um wonderful." She mumbled.

Howard laughed to himself, happy in a strange way that Ellen was finally the one staying in bed while he got up. Every time they'd spent the night together when they were dating Ellen had always been the first one up in the morning and would leave early, even if it was her apartment. This always caused him to feel used, dirty and heartsick. It hurt him but didn't seem to faze her. Howard thought there was some justice to the fact that Ellen was finally the one staying in bed in the morning. Before leaving the room he peered down at their twin boys, who slept quietly at their mother's side. They were getting to be better sleepers, well, very slowly, and he was proud of them. He just hoped Ellen would be all right when he was gone.

Howard yawned as he walked into the kitchen. He was tired but kind of excited to fly again, something he wasn't sure he wanted to admit to Ellen, who wasn't ready for him to leave just yet.

"Howie?!" It was very early in the morning and Howard was surprised to see his teenaged son sitting in the kitchen drinking milk in the dark.

"Hi Dad."

"It's five o'clock what are you doing up?" He asked.

"Track and field….got to be up early."

"Oh…" He understood. "How uh, how are you feeling about Mom?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because she's your Mom. You need to make up with her."

"You just want me to go back living with her."

"No!" Howie was kind of startled at how harshly Howard said this. "No uh…she's just your mother and you shouldn't be on bad terms with her…I can tell it's hurting you and I know it's hurting her. And of course I don't want you with her. I want you with me! I love having you here. And Ellen does too." Howie smiled. He knew for sure that she did too and still couldn't stop being surprised about it. "And your brothers…if you, you know, you stay when you go to college, which I hope you will, or if you live nearby, they're going to love that a whole lot."

"Well thanks Dad. And I'm staying but…I'm not ready to make up with her."

"Howie, what was the fight all about?" Lois wouldn't tell him either and that bothered him a little.

"Nothing Dad." He said, getting up but leaving his milk on the table. "Have a good trip Dad. I'll see you later." Howie gave him a hug and without a word left the room.

…..

"Howie are you sure you're okay?" Ellen asked at dinner that night.

It was just the two of them at their own table and it was kind of nice. She finally felt well enough to cook when Howie was at school and the boys were napping. She felt kind of proud of herself.

"Yeah I'm fine." He smiled half-heartedly.

"Really? I don't want your relationship with your mother to turn into my relationship with my mother." This made Howie laugh.

"That won't happen." He shook his head and laughed a little.

"No. Probably not." She began. Her words were interrupted by a knock at the door. "It's probably just Bob trying to figure out why we aren't there." Ellen surmised as she got up to answer the door. Howie nodded in agreement. "Bob you…Lois!" Ellen was surprised, and figured she better announce this to Howie who had his back turned to the door. Howie froze then dropped his fork in his plate, turning around slowly to face his mother.

"Hi Ellen, uh hi Howie."

"Hi." Ellen greeted, trying to be as pleasant as possible.

Close proximity to her now husband's ex-wife had always been a little awkward but she figured it must be for Lois too. Ellen was less nervous anyway, she felt like she had the twins existence and Howie's approval to back her up. She was now not the only one who had a permanent place in Howard's life.

"Howie your Mom's here, aren't you going to say anything?"

"Hi." He mumbled quietly.

"Where's Howard?" Lois inquired.

"Oh he's flying again, for the first time today since I had the twins."

"Congratulations, by the way." Lois emphasized.

She felt bad for Ellen, knowing that she was about to go through the same thing she'd endured with Howard, except with two babies instead of one, and it wasn't going to be easy. Having a husband who was never there didn't fit well for Lois; little did she know that it was actually the perfect match for Ellen.

"Thank you." Ellen smiled. "Would you like something, we were just…"

"In the **middle** of dinner." Howie emphasized. Ellen gave him a disapproving look, beginning to think about how she'd feel if Ryan and Zach started treating her like that in fifteen or sixteen years time: the word would be worthless.

"Oh no, no thank you I just uh came to check on Howie."

"Well, here I am, you checked-up on me Mom….as always." Howie rolled his eyes. Ellen raised an eyebrow, what did the _as always_ part mean? Was that what the fight had been about?

"Howie I…"

"Hey Ellen, as long as she's staying here, I'm going over to Bob and Emily's." He said, rushing out the door without a word.

Ellen could just hear her brother's enthusiasm about Howie's unexpected arrival at their house during dinner. He'd say: "Oh great, he's come back to eat more of my food."

"Lois I, I'm really sorry." Ellen was embarrassed. "We've been urging him to work it out with you. I can't imagine how much this is hurting you."

"Well. I guess I deserve it. I wouldn't tell Howard what happened?"

"What happened?" Ellen thought she deserved to know. And unlike Howard, she was brave enough to insist she be told.

Lois sighed. "Some of the other boys on Howie's track and field team got caught with drugs…and I wanted to make sure he wasn't one of them or should've been and wasn't….so he caught me going through all of his things."

"Oh." Ellen didn't quite know what to say.

If you asked her, there was no way Howie was involved with anything remotely like that. Shouldn't this woman know her own kid better than that, especially when even she did! Ellen felt she knew hers better than that and they'd only been in existence a few days! Ellen would tell you right then that Zach would remain a sweetheart all his life and Ryan was going to be kind of a smart ass…a little bit like her.

"I guess I should've known my own kid better than that." She said turning around and looking at the door.

"Yes. You should've." Ellen agreed, she couldn't help doing so. "Howie would never do that."

"Well I'm glad to see that you know my son better than I do Ellen." Lois said sharply, getting up and walking toward the door.

"No Lois. Lois listen. I think everyone needs some objectivity once in a while, that's all. It's like when I married Howard and I didn't want to get married but I did it anyway because everyone made me realize it was the right thing for me…"

"Wouldn't being pregnant make it a lot easier?" She spat.

Ellen was taken aback by this for a moment, she felt like she'd been slapped in the face. Lois left without another word to Ellen and she shut the door. She looked down at the wedding ring on her finger. It made her honest…but not in Lois' eyes. She hadn't worn it much: she'd been far too swollen while pregnant, even early on. It was a lovely ring: elegant, shiny, beautiful…it conveyed all the promise in the world to her…that Howard loved her and she loved him. It was a nice promise to hold right then.

"You okay Ellen?" Howie asked, sneaking back into the apartment.

"Uh Yeah Howie." She said, she didn't know, in truth, that she'd be that hurt by a comment like that.

"My Mom's not hateful…she's just overly judgmental."

"Yeah, uh…I gathered that. Funny so's mine." She laughed, but kind of choked on her words a little bit. Howie smiled.

"I guess I was wrong." He said. "Maybe my relationship with my mother will turn into your relationship with yours."


	14. The Ironwood Experience

Chapter 14- The Ironwood Experience

_**August 1977**_

Emily was exhausted and yet hopeful. Meghan was four months old and Emily was finally beginning to feel like herself again. She was getting back to some of her regular activities, even though she was still very consumed with the baby. For a while, she wasn't sure if the lingering affects of the pregnancy would ever leave her, but they finally had. And Meghan had moved on a little too: she could sit up…almost, didn't cry as much, slept all night, was eating rice cereal and could now amuse herself with a little toy: that had all been life changing.

Emily felt like it was time to start fresh again. She'd been neglecting a lot in the past six months or so: seeing her friends, cleaning the house and most of all spending time with her husband. She and Bob had barely watched a movie together, let alone come close to making love since Meghan was born and she felt badly about that. First, they really had no time to do anything with. Second, she had not healed quickly after giving birth and had been busy with the baby and trying to figure out how to be a Mother. They'd never, in their eight years together, gone this long without having a lot of alone time together. Emily was afraid it was going to ruin her marriage. But that was all going to change this weekend. Or at least, that's what she promised herself.

Emily sat Meghan down in her playpen when they got home from the grocery store. She had a grandiose weekend planned: one with intense house cleaning, the kind she hadn't done probably since before she'd even gotten pregnant in the first place, followed by lunch with friends, then a romantic candlelit dinner and of course…a nice quiet evening with Bob. For her it seemed like a dream weekend…almost too good to be true even.

Meghan watched her Mom clean and talk about cleaning, but slowly got sleepy-eyed and succumbed to dreamland. Emily realized she was asleep and took a break from her cleaning frenzy to give the baby a kiss, electing to move her to her crib where, perhaps she could get some more quiet and not be disturbed when her father returned from work.

"Good night precious baby. Mommy loves you so much." She said.

Emily stood over Meghan's crib and watched for a few minutes. It was moments like these with Meghan that made Emily remember that this baby thing had all been worth it. She loved Meghan more than she'd ever loved anybody or anything in her entire life, and she knew Bob felt the same. On that note, she tried to remember that they were in this baby-thing together, that _she_ wasn't the only one in the relationship who'd had a baby, _they'd_ had a baby, and _they'd_ both have to deal with having an abnormal love-life for a while…she shouldn't be feeling guilty about needing time to heal and adjust, or anything.

"Hi honey."

"Hi Bob!" Emily smiled. "Honey I hope you don't have plans for this weekend. I had something special..."

"Oh no Emily." He looked totally defeated at hearing her news.

"What?" She was devastated.

"Honey I'm going to Ironwood this weekend. I told you about that."

"No you didn't Bob."

"Well sure I did, it's on the calendar. Just look."

Emily sighed. Sure enough, there it was.

"Oh no!"

"What honey, what is it?" He asked concernedly.

"I uh…I had something special planned, just for the two of us. Are you sure you have to go?"

"Yeah, yeah honey, I have to go." He said, encircling her waist with his arms. He kissed her lips softly, making her feel slightly better.

"When are you leaving?" She asked.

"In just a few minutes. I just stopped in to get my suitcase and kiss you."

"You stopped in to kiss me?"

"Of course." He smiled as he walked into the bedroom to get his suitcase.

"Bob, what is Ironwood again?" She'd heard it before, but couldn't really recall what it was.

"It's a- uh retreat Emily where couples go to work on their uh-their relationships that have uh…"

"It's a sex workshop!" She was surprised when she figured it out.

"Uh yeah I guess you could, you could call it that." But he didn't want to. Her questioning was making him increasingly nervous.

"And you have to go?" She asked again, following him back into the living room. They stood by the front door now.

"Emily I have to go. Hey! How about you come with me?" He invited.

"Me…Bob you think I need a lecture on sex?" She was hurt by this.

"Well I mean I…it might be uh edu-educational."

Bob didn't actually think Emily needed a lecture on anything. He just didn't want to go to this crazy event by himself. That was all there was to it. But he didn't give a second thought to her question, particularly since he really needed to leave if he was going to make his flight on time.

"Okay, I'll go with you…I no I can't I already have plans….oh but I could pack in just a minute and…" Suddenly Meghan interrupted them and started wailing, loudly. "Oh Meghan. I can't go because I have Meghan!" She remembered.

"Honey, I really have to go." He said, looking at his watch.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry!" She exclaimed, kissing him deeply.

"Bye Emily, I love you."

"I love you too." She said, shutting the door.

Emily was upset. Had he thought she needed to go to Ironwood? She sat at the edge of the stairs and looked down at herself. She pressed her hand against her stomach, which was flatter than it had been in more than a year and most importantly no longer contained a tiny resident…a tiny resident who was now laying in her crib screaming.

"Hey Emily." Howard said, coming in the front door, uninvited as always. "Where's Bob going?"

"He's going to a sex workshop." She replied as he followed her into the nursery.

"Oh Emily, I didn't know you and Bob were having those kinds of problems…" He said as she picked Meghan up.

"We're not…we're…Howard. Has Bob ever mentioned anything about…us?"

"You and I?!"

"No, Bob and I. Oh miss, it's time to change you, ha isn't it? Ha! Yeah!" She turned to Meghan and whispered, causing the baby to smile.

"No."

"You know, about our relationship, about…"

"No. Again Emily, I didn't know you were having those kinds of problems."

"We're not at least I don't think so…we're having these kinds of problems." She said, obviously referring to the baby who lye on her changing table, now sucking on her own fingers. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry, Mommy didn't mean to put it like that." She soothed, kissing Meghan's forehead and grabbing her tiny hands in her own.

"Well Emily, you know what they say…having a baby changes everything."

"Yes, it does."

"Changed everything for me and Lois…I don't think we ever had sex again."

"That's great to know Howard." Emily really found this thought deeply comforting.

…..

_**May 1981**_

"I just don't know if we'll ever be a normal couple again Emily." Ellen complained. Emily wondered if they'd ever been a normal couple.

Ellen looked exhausted. Emily could tell, by the heavy grey bags under her sister-in-law's eyes, that things were not easy.

"If it's not something with the boys then Howard's flying here or there…we can't even go out to dinner do you realize that?"

As soon as Ellen had informed her of her predicament, Emily's thoughts had turned solely to The Ironwood Experience. All had not been, as it seemed. Emily found it ironic that she had thought, as the new mother of a four-month-old baby, that her love life was over…yet; Bridget was born less than a year after that. It was also around that time that she and Bob figured out how to schedule date nights far in advance, and get a baby-sitter, enabling them to actually leave the house every once in a while. The trouble with suggesting this to Ellen was that she knew she'd likely end up being the baby-sitter.

"Oh Ellen, it's not that bad. I promise you and Howard will adapt. You'll find time for yourself."

"Find time! Emily it just isn't there. You know we tried having coffee together at midnight so that we could just talk alone, you know…"

"What happened?"

"Howard fell asleep on the kitchen table."

"Oh Ellen." Emily giggled. Ellen laughed too.

"Yeah…it was kind of sweet." She reflected.

"Trust me. I thought Bob wasn't going to love me anymore when Meghan was a new baby."

"I feel that way about Howard: he's almost never here." She sort of wondered if he could help that at all. He did have two new babies didn't that count for anything?

"You used to like that about him." Emily reminded. "I think you will again."

"Yeah I guess." Ellen reasoned, recalling the plus sides to that.

She looked down at her sons who she'd brought over in their stroller. They were close to being fast asleep.

"Trust me you'll find time. Bob and I have three, we both work full time and we find time." Emily smiled but Ellen was not in the least bit reassured by this.

_**August 1977**_

__Somewhere along the line, Emily realized there was a possibility that Bob could meet another woman up at Ironwood, especially if it was one of those places where…well where everyone took their clothes off, and especially if he really did think she needed a lecture on sex. The idea of the whole thing just crushed her inside. She was confused, angry, scared…and that's why she decided to make everything perfect for Bob's homecoming.

Emily started that morning by tiring Meghan out. She knew that if the baby stayed up all day, she'd sleep all night long. Emily felt bad stringing out her four month old all day with only a couple of sort naps, but she couldn't figure out any other way to do this. By dinnertime, Meghan had a bottle and fell asleep part of the way though it, she was out like a light and more than exhausted.

"Mommy promises she'll never do that to you again Meghan." Emily vowed when she put the baby down. Meghan sighed, happy to be sound asleep after one of the longest days of her little life.

After Emily finished the dinner she'd been making she dimmed the lights, poured the champagne, put on her best negligee and sat on the couch to wait for Bob. As nervous as she was, (after all, Bob could still come home and announce that he was going to take a new path in life), she was very happy with the peace and quiet the moment provided. It was more refreshing than anything she could remember happening in recent months.

"Hi sweetheart!" She exclaimed as he walked in the door. She rushed to embrace him, kissing his lips deeply and totally taking him completely by surprise.

"Hi honey…what's all this?" He laughed, wondering if she was actually expecting someone else.

"The dinner?" She wanted to seem like she wasn't catching on.

"And the negligee…" He pointed.

"Oh Bob I just wanted to look nice for the man in my life…and I figured we could uh…"

"Oh." He didn't know what he thought of this. He didn't want her to do this for all the wrong reasons. And he had a pretty good idea that she still wasn't ready for this yet.

"What, you don't like the idea?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at him defensively.

"No I just, I'm kind of tired Emily."

"Oh…" She said. He kissed her softly as he put down his bags, loosened his tie and continued to walk into the house. He liked that it was warm, cozy and that the dinner smelled wonderful.

"Emily where's our baby, I missed her."

"She's in her crib asleep."

"Oh, that's too bad… I uh, brought her a present." He had, the cutest little bear he'd ever seen in his life.

"How uh…how was your trip?" She felt like a crushed, used fool standing there in the lingerie, now that he clearly didn't want her. She wanted to wither away.

"I-it was fine." He lied. It had been interesting at best, but more over it had been very uncomfortable for him, everyone there, except for himself, had been completely naked.

"Would you like a martini?" She asked.

"Works for me."

"So." She began, sitting down next to him. "How was Ironwood?" She pressed again. Fine wasn't exactly the explanation she'd been seeking.

"Good uh…I spent the entire weekend talking to couples and it made me realize what kind of marriage we have."

"Oh…what kind of marriage do we have?"

"A perfect one." He said, wrapping his arm around her. He hadn't known how true this was prior to that weekend. "Our marriage is based on trust, on respect…on love that comes from the heart."

"What other kind is there?"

"Love that's just lust and not really true love that lasts."

Emily was afraid of what that met.

"Oh. I was uh…kind of nervous about that lust thing all weekend."

"How so?" He asked.

"Well you know….if Ironwood was one of those places where everyone runs around naked…"

"That's uh….what I was going to-to confess to you about Ironwood. That's exactly it…no running though."

"Everyone was naked?!"

"Uh-uh-huh."

"Were you?"

"No. You know that's not me."

"Did uh…did you meet anybody else?"

"I thought we trusted each other why would I…"

"Because I'm fat! We don't get 'us' time! I'm not who you've been married to for the past eight years! And…and I thought you might want someone a little more…blonde….or someone who didn't just have a baby!" She confessed to him what she'd been so worried about.

"Oh Emily. I love the fact that you just had a baby. And there could never be anyone but you for me." He said, setting her straight. "And Emily, sex doesn't dictate how much I love you, how good our marriage is, or how special you are to me! Remember _you_ didn't have a baby _we _had a baby and _we're _in this together. We'll have more alone time again when the time is right for both of us, and it will be great. And for now, we have so much else to enjoy."

"You're right honey, thank you…oh I'm so glad, oh Bob I love you so much!"

"I love you too." He said, kissing her softly.

"There she is again." Emily sniffled when Meghan began crying again.

The two laughed, realizing that their normal pre-baby life would never really return, but that eventually they'd find a new way to balance everything and be just as happy together as they ever were.

….

_**May 1981**_

Ellen fell asleep sitting up on the couch. The twins had gone to sleep an hour earlier, and she thought she could get some peaceful time by herself to write while she waited for Howard to come home. He'd been flying for the past week and a half and she missed him. Howie was also gone, having left town to attend a track and field championship in Indianapolis…she missed him too.

"Um…" She mumbled when she felt someone kiss her cheek.

"Hi." Howard whispered, careful not to scare her.

"Oh, hi." She smiled, hugging him tightly. "When did you get here?" She asked, already knowing she had fallen asleep.

"Just now. Here uh, these are for you."

"Oh Howard they're beautiful!" She smiled. White roses were her favorite.

"I missed you. How are the boys?"

"Well the babies are asleep. And Howie's in Indianapolis."

"Indianapolis!"

"Yeah, don't you remember, it's a track and field thing." Howie had been really disappointed that Howard wouldn't be there for it, as it was not a normal track meet. Ellen felt bad about this and would've gone with him if she didn't have the twins. In light of this, she worried her the twins would be let down by Howard's frequent absence in the future the same way Howie had been…but that was a matter for another time.

"Oh yeah…." Howard felt bad about missing this.

"He said to tell you he misses you and will see you when he gets back." Ellen paused. "I missed you too. A lot. You know Howard it was uh…one year ago, tonight."

"Tonight that what?" He asked, clearly clueless. She giggled.

"It was one year ago tonight…a cold Spring night…that you just randomly showed up at my door in Cleveland."

"And after we'd stopped talking." It was true. The events of last May had been a one-weekend stand after the two of them hadn't spoken in months.

"Howard. Thank you so much for coming to my door." She smiled, taking his hand. He didn't know what to say to this.

Ellen was sincerely grateful. Where would she be today if he hadn't? Still alone in Cleveland? She knew she was loved in Chicago. It wasn't life as she'd always imagined, but it was love like she'd never known before. She had more worth than she'd realized as an Aunt, sister and sister-in-law to Bob, Emily and the girls. Being married had not been nearly as inhibiting as she'd once feared. She finally had someone to share life with and yet, still had as much space as she needed to be the individual she was. And then there was being a Mom: it was an experience she couldn't compare to anything, she loved the babies so much and Howie too really.

"I think I should thank you more for finally marrying me."

"Oh Howard. I should've done it sooner. Don't ever thank me for that. I'm just glad I finally did and that you still wanted me."

"I'll always want you, are you kidding?" He laughed. He wondered if she knew he delighted in her.

"That's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." She smiled.

"It's true."

"Are you tired?"

"No."

"You wanna go outside with me, sit on the balcony with some champagne…and a vase of nice white roses?" She teased, keeping his hand in her own and getting up to lead him outside.

"Sounds wonderful." He smiled, following her out the door.


	15. My, my you're growing up way too fast

Chapter 15- My, my you're growing up way too fast

_**April 1981**_

"Oh my goodness Molly you're getting to be such a big girl!" Emily said, hugging Molly tightly. Molly had just walked across the room and into her Mother's arms by herself for the first time without falling down.

"Hi Mama!" Molly squealed.

"Ha, what'd you say? You said Mama. Can you say it again? Say Mama!" Emily giggled.

Molly had been saying more and more lately. 'Mama' was actually the least of what she could say, but Emily still delighted in hearing it. Neither of her parents could quite believe that she was walking and talking. It had only seemed like yesterday that she'd been born…well; actually, it was only just yesterday Meghan had been born. The little girl was in her room going through all her clothes, looking for the perfect thing to wear on her birthday: she'd be four in a few days, and she thought it was the biggest thing that would ever happen to her.

"Hi Emily!" Bob called as he came in the front door.

"Oh hi honey!" She was excited to see him and left Molly on the floor so she could hug him.

Molly was confused for a moment. Her father didn't notice her standing there and with nothing to hold onto, her legs gave way and she fell.

"How's your day been?" Bob asked as Emily leaned in to kiss him. He was surprised at her kiss and took a moment to just savor it. He'd missed his best friend more than usual that day and was glad to finally see her.

"Wonderful sweetheart." She said when she pulled away. "Molly and I have something to show you. Right honey?" She indicated, turning to Molly. "Come here love." Emily held out her arms. "Come to Mommy."

Molly, (who'd used the couch to pull her self up again by this point) looked down at her feet, concentrating carefully on her steps as she made her way toward her parents. She wasn't exactly surefooted and was nervous about this but her Mother's arms stood out to her and provided her hope, almost like a safe harbor, so she kept going.

"E-Emily, she's walking!" He couldn't believe it.

"Yeah I know isn't it amazing! That's a girl, that's it sweetheart, there you go!" Emily soothed, taking Molly in her arms when she finally got there. It took a while.

"Oh Molly that's wonderful! You did a very good job sweetheart." Bob smiled, kissing his daughter on the side of the head and taking her from Emily.

He admired her for a moment, barely believing how much different she looked now from the way she appeared her first birthday, just a couple of months before. She had a full head of dark brown hair now, like Emily's and Meghan's (Bridget's hair coloring and eyes were more like his), and was walking and talking and it was just too much to believe.

"Wow, she's just growing up so fast." Bob remarked, still studying the baby in his arms as Emily walked into the kitchen. He'd been worried about this. He wasn't ready to watch his little girls grow up. The idea terrified him.

"Bob. Speaking of growing up. I had something I wanted to ask you about."

"Okay, shoot." He said, sitting their baby in her hi-chair and securing her bib around her neck.

"I'm thinking about putting Meghan in preschool…just for a few hours every couple of days. What do you think of that?"

"She's a little young."

"She is about to be four." Emily reminded. "She's in her room right now, trying to figure out which dress looks best on her…"

"Yeah I was wondering where Meghan and Bridget were. And that, that sounds like Meghan. Well, other than the age thing, I think it'd be good for her, good for you too."

"So you approve?"

"Yeah, I-I guess so." He didn't want to approve but knew it was time.

"My one worry is Bridget…they do everything together Bob…She's even helping Meghan with the dresses. I don't think I'll be able to split them up." Emily knew she was going to have a very hard time with that.

"Well…we could wait till Bridget turns three in the summer, by fall they'll both be a good age and we, we could send them together."

"Oh Bob, I love it, that's wonderful!" She smiled.

Emily thought they should be in the same grade anyway. It would be easier for her and help them a lot. Emily realized they couldn't remember life without each other and functioned almost like many twins did. They were virtually never apart. She was worried about that, but hadn't told Bob this part of her concern just yet.

"Mommy!" Meghan called.

"What is it Meghan?"

"Mommy I need a new dress!" Meghan cried and Emily laughed.

…..

Bob was exhausted when he got home that night. He'd been with his fear of darkness group and had gotten home after his wife and daughters had gone to bed. He was sad about not getting to see them that evening and had decided not to go check on the girls so that he wouldn't wake them up. He climbed into bed and kissed Emily's bare shoulder softly. The fact that she was wearing a short-sleeved nightgown was always a sure sign that spring had arrived and it had been a long winter.

"Hi Bob." She smiled.

"Hi sweetheart. Did you have a good day?"

"Oh perfect."

"I'm sorry if I woke you up." He apologized.

"Oh now. I was just laying here relaxing. I wanted to make sure you got home."

"Well I'm home." He smiled, kissing her softly.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too. How about we go out tomorrow night?" He suggested.

"I'd love that." She smiled. They hadn't gone out alone in a long time.

"After all, a twelfth anniversary is special."

"Yes it is." She smiled, kissing him again.

"Can I go with you please?" Bob and Emily turned when they heard a little voice inquire.

"Meghan, what are you doing here?" Bob asked, addressing the little girl as he lifted her onto the bed. Meghan kissed her father's cheek as she climbed into his arms.

"Meghan Emily Hartley, did you miss Daddy today?" Emily asked.

"Yes. Hi Daddy!"

"Oh Meghan, I missed you too. And I'll be with you all weekend, alright?" He promised.

"K. Daddy. I love you and when I gwow up I wanna marry a man just like you." She kissed his nose and smiled.

"Awe isn't that sweet?" Emily asked.

Bob was torn between finding this sweet and finding it alarming. He had tried not to think about his little girls getting married: they were very tiny still and the idea really bothered him.

"I love you too Meghan my sweetheart." He kissed her cheek.

"Now my love it's time for bed." Emily informed.

"K Mommy." Meghan said, climbing in bed between her Mom and Dad. Emily laughed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Her mother asked.

"Going to seep Mommy."

"You're going to your bed Meghan." Bob told her.

"Mommy, Daddy I wanna stay with you!" Bob and Emily looked at each other, immediately knowing what their decision was going to be.

"Okay honey. You can stay here with us." Emily approved.

Meghan fell asleep, her head on her mother's chest; just moments after her parents had kissed her goodnight.

"I guess they are growing up fast, Emily, I had no idea she was thinking about getting married. Emily why would she say that!" He was deeply disturbed by this comment.

"Bob you should be happy she said that too you. It means she loves you very much." She informed, causing him to smile. "And that's what _**little**_ girls do honey it's nothing to worry about." Emily laughed. "I did it with my father."

"Yeah but you grew up and married me!" He exclaimed. Emily sighed and rolled her eyes. "I guess you're right." He considered. "That's the thing. I love her too much to-to think about letting her go j-just yet."

"Bob, you don't have to let go! She's three. Her sisters are still in diapers…mostly…I really don't think you need to worry about it."

"I guess your right, I'm just being silly."

"Of course you are, look how tiny she is still she's sleeping between us and she begged to."

"Gee, it seems like just yesterday that we were trying to spice her out of your stomach, remember?"

"Yeah." Emily laughed. "That worked real well…But like I said, she's just a baby still, she doesn't know any boys her own age so don't give it a second thought."

"I guess your right."

"I am right. Bob, you know when she'll be 18?...1995."

"Wow, that puts it into perspective." He said. "That's a long time from now."

"Exactly and Molly won't be 18 until 1998."

"Emily we…we'll be…"

"Old by then? Yes Bob, I know."

"And if somehow we had another one…it could be 2002, 2003 before…"

"Honey, I know."

"But Emily…she'll meet boys in preschool."

"Three, four and five year old boys are not going to marry your daughter…in fact they're not even going to be nice to your daughter, so there's nothing to worry about there."

"Yes that's worse!"

"What?" She asked.  
"That they're going to go to school and boys are going to be mean to them!"

"Stop it Bob, it's just preschool…it's two days a week, it's a few hours: it's barely real school, they read a story, they paint, they run around outside and they go home…look how itty-bitty she is Bob."

"I-I guess your right."

"I know I'm right." She giggled, grabbing his face with her hands and kissing his cheek. "Good night sweetheart."

"Good night." He begrudgingly agreed as she turned out the light and they both lye down. Meghan snored in between them. Bob noted to himself that that she sounded just like Emily in her sleep. "Emily…" He began, turning the light on. She groaned as she sat up.

"What Bob?" She was tired.

"Is, is it just me…or are they growing up, way, way too fast?" He hadn't thought this until lately.

"Huh?" She asked. She thought her girls were progressing at a normal rate, not too slow or too fast, but just right.

"Well, Molly's walking. Bridget is talking more and more and becoming a child instead of a toddler, quite clearly…and Meghan with her talk about boys and clothes…Emily she's three going on fourteen!"

"No she's not!" Emily laughed. She thought he was being completely ridiculous. "Sweetheart there's no reason to worry, okay. None at all. They're going to be your little girls for a long, long time." She promised. "Now good night. We have to be up early, remember?"

"Good-good night Emily." He said, kissing her again as she turned out the light. He watched her roll over on her side and close her eyes. "Good night Meghan." He whispered in the girl's ear. "Please don't grow up too fast, sweetheart. I love you so much."

_**September 1981**_

The next five months went by for Bob like the blink of an eye. It was the night before the girls were going to school and Bob felt like he had a load on his heart. He came home early that day, just to spend a little more time with them before one of the biggest changes in their little lives.

"Bob, don't feel bad. You're worrying too much." Emily promised. They were in the kitchen, making dinner together, watching the girls play in the living room.

"You think?" He asked.

"I don't think, I know."

"You, you know?"

"I know. It's not anything to worry about."

"Okay. I'll trust you." He promised to put his anxieties away. "When will Howard and Ellen be here?"

"Any minute I would guess." Emily said. Bob had not seen either of them or the twins in days.

"Hi guys!" Ellen smiled, coming into the apartment. This caught all their attention very quickly. Bridget couldn't remember seeing Aunt Ellen quite that happy….ever.

"Hi Ellen." Emily paused. "What are you so happy about?"

"They're crawling." Howard offered of the twins, following his wife into the apartment.

"And there's a couple of other things." Ellen smiled at Howard.

"Like, like what?" Bob was curious.

"Well first off." Ellen began. She and Howard sat the boys down on the floor with their cousins.

"First off I'm going to be a pilot!"

Howard was ecstatic and had been holding in his good news all day long. He'd been telling the boys for a couple of hours but they just stared at their father cluelessly. Ellen thought to herself that they started back a little like Howard did when someone tried to talk to him about current events.

"Oh Howard, congratulations!" Emily squealed, hugging him tightly.

"That's wonderful Howard." Bob smiled.

"Does this mean we can go to Hawaii?" Meghan asked suddenly.

"You know that's not a bad idea!" Howard offered.

"Howard…this isn't an episode of The Brady Bunch here…" Bob was hesitant to go to Hawaii with the _whole_ family.

"And besides, we have other news." Ellen beamed. Emily wondered what she could be so thrilled about.

"And that is?" Emily urged.

"I got a job!"

"Congratulations." Bob smiled; he knew this was the only thing that would make his sister complete.

"What is it?" Emily inquired.

"Well its just Freelancing. But it is a newspaper job and it's perfect because I get to stay with the boys and I get to write!"

"Wow Ellen that's great." Emily smiled, kind of bitter sweetly. She wanted to quit her job and be with her babies so much. She was jealous of Ellen, but wouldn't admit it.

"What's the third thing?" Bob wanted to know.

"We're buying a house."

"Mommy don't you want one of those!" Bridget burst.

"Well, not right now." Ellen urged, knowing quickly that she'd hit a nerve.

"But, in the future." Howard added.

"Yeah…" Ellen agreed nervously.

"I mean they boys are outgrowing the apartment…"

"Howard." Ellen cautioned, knowing he'd have to explain this to him later.

"Oh well I mean we do have a teenager."

"Uh-huh." Emily said, choosing to refocus on the children. She wasn't going to hide the fact that she was hurt by this. "Yes darling." She said to Bridget. "Mommy does want one of those."

"I-uh, I think dinner's, dinner's ready." Bob said, quickly changing the subject.

The four adults sat down to dinner in awkward silence. Ellen felt terrible, knowing exactly what she'd just started. Bob was not looking forward to the argument that was going to come later on in the evening. Howard was confused. And finally Emily was about to cry. She still, having thought about it for over a year now, figured that having another baby was the only way she was going to get him to move the only thing was she wasn't ready to do that just yet. Nor was she sure that she could get pregnant again, especially if she was trying on her own….well on second thought, if Howard could do it without Ellen's cooperation…she could.

"Hey you notice something?" Howard asked, desperate to start conversation of any kind.

"What?" Bob asked.

"It's the boys…guys, go play with your cousins."

It was then that the adults noticed that there were three groups of kids on the floor. Meghan and Bridget, who were inseparable. Ryan and Zach, who refused to play with anyone else and poor Molly all by herself. Emily gulped. She didn't want to talk about this. She'd been noticing it for months among all of the kids.

"Yeah they uh…they don't like to play with other kids do they?" Bob asked of the twins. Emily stared at him for a moment. He didn't notice this about Meghan and Bridget?

"No." Ellen said. She was concerned about how her sons refused to play with Molly or even to share with her.

"Mama." Molly said, reaching for Emily when she came to the side of her chair.

"Oh sweetie it's okay." Emily comforted, picking her up. "Mommy isn't going to forget you or leave you to play alone sweetheart." She whispered that second part, kissing the girl's cheek as she hugged her and the other adults continued talking.

Emily listened carefully as Bob began to tell Howard and Ellen about the psychology of why twins often refused to play with other children and how they got so attached to each other. She sure hoped he wouldn't be upset when he figured out it applied to Meghan and Bridget….she couldn't believe (and didn't believe) he hadn't noticed it. She figured he'd mention it as soon as they put the girls to bed.

…

"Amen." Bridget and Meghan whispered. Their baby sister was already fast asleep in her crib and had been for a couple of hours.

"Very good. Good night girls. We have a big exciting day tomorrow, don't we?" She asked. She had just finished reading a story to the girls and saying their prayers with them.

Meghan and Bridget were both nervous about this. In fact, they both kind of had a tummy ache. But they nodded anyway.

"Good night sweethearts. I love you." She said, kissing Bridget several times on the forehead, causing the tiny girl to momentarily forget her angst.

"Night Mommy." Meghan yawned once her mother had moved on to tucking her in.

"Good night my loves." Emily smiled, turning out the light. She turned cautiously back to the living room. Bob dimmed the lights in that instant. It was something they always did so the girls could get to sleep.

"Did they uh…get off to sleep okay?" He asked sweetly, signifying that he wasn't going to be the one to start the fight, and hoping that she wouldn't either.

"Yeah. Just perfect." She acknowledged, taking his hand in her own. He smiled at her, knowing that for some reason she was just going to let the argument go. He was grateful.

"Just like you." He whispered, kissing her softly.

"That's so sweet." She laughed.

"Here uh, I made us some coffee."

"Oh." She smiled, sitting down with him on the couch. "It was uh, certainly an interesting dinner. So. What do you want to talk about?"

"N-nothing."

"Oh come on. You have to want to talk about something."

"I'm nervous for tomorrow Emily."

"Oh honey you don't be. Didn't you hear them in there saying their prayers and asking their questions during story time? They're so sweet…and they were praying for Daddy."

"T-they were?"

"Oh yes. They love him very much." Emily kissed his cheek.

"It's just that…I love them so much. I know how you love them…but I just can't help remembering holding their little heads in my hand for the first time." She was surprised to see tears roll down his cheeks and wiped them away with her thumbs. She kissed his cheek and pulled him into a hug. "They were so tiny and sweet and I just…I don't want to loose that love that connection I have with them. And I don't want them to change…"

"I can guarantee you, Daddy's the only man in their life that matters and he will be for a very long time. Unless you count an an Uncle or maybe a baby brother or something like that." She teased.

"A-a baby brother?" He asked nervously.

"Um-hum." She teased, nuzzling him softly. "Or something like that." She took his arm and put it around her shoulder. He noticed this and held her tighter.

"I love you Emily." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"I know sweetheart I love you too."


	16. Back to work, school and other things

Chapter 16- Back to work, school and other things

_**September 1977**_

"Okay, goodbye Meghan darling." Emily baby-talked. She buried her face in Meghan's tiny five-month-old face and squealed. It was the millionth time she'd done that that morning alone. Meghan laughed, squealed and smiled all at the same time. She loved it when Mommy gave her that much attention. "Oh honey, you're such a good girl. Yes you are, you're such a good girl!"

Emily felt conflicted. There was part of her that felt like her old self. She was finally redressed in clothes she hadn't worn in a year or more now and was ready to go back to work…but then there was Meghan. The very thought of leaving the little baby made her sick and she didn't want to.

"Do you like what you're wearing darling?" She asked. "Huh? I'll tell you what, how about we put the blue one, the one with all the flowers on you, huh? Yeah!" She smiled, picking the baby up.

"Emily you don't have to change her now, the nanny will change her and besides I kind of like the pink one."

"Oh Bob, you don't understand, I want to dress her up, I want to play with her. Bob…I don't want to go back to work. I want to stay with Meghan."

"Emily, this happens a lot with new Moms when they first go back to work…"

"It's something I really, really want. I've been with her for five months and I've loved every single second of it."

"Well, I can't say I disagree. I've enjoyed the time I've spent with her too." He smiled, taking the baby from his wife. "She's perfect."

"See." She giggled, watching Meghan try to grab her father's nose. "I wish there was a way for me to work and stay with my baby. Meghan Hartley do you have your Daddy's nose?" She laughed.

"Yes, yes she does. Here, go back to Mommy now and have a good day princess." He said, kissing Meghan's cheek.

"Oh Bob, don't you want to just stay with her?"

"Emily look. We're grown-ups, we've got our own lives. Ones that we've worked hard to have and are good at. And we have responsibilities to attend to: including providing for her, not just caring for her…" He said, taking the baby from her and laying her down in her crib. Meghan was confused by this." Bye sweetheart." Her father said, kissing her forehead and turning to her mother and doing the same. "Bye Emily, I love you. Have a great first day back, okay."

"Thanks honey." She said half-heartedly. He could tell she was distressed and didn't want to leave her but had to in order to catch his train.

"Love you, Emily." He kissed her cheek and left without a word. Emily just stood there and stared down at Meghan, feeling as if she was about to start crying.

"Okay Meghan. Melanie's going to take good care of you sweetheart and Mommy will be back around three-thirty, not a moment later: she promises." She said of the Loyola University girl they'd hired to take care of Meghan in the day.

Melanie was young, competent, blonde and very, very sweet. She'd gotten the job partially, because she was a child development major. Emily trusted her but wanted to keep Meghan all to herself.

But Emily did go back to work, it broke her heart to leave baby Meghan. She liked her new nanny well enough but cried as soon as Emily went out the door. She hadn't realized before that Mommy was going to leave and she didn't like it. Emily could barely hold it together either and kissed Meghan goodbye a final time before she went out the door. Emily held back tears laying her forehead against the outside of the front door. She drew a deep breath and prepared to turn around and head down the stairs.

"Hey Emily."

"Ahh!' she was startled. "Howard don't scare me like that." She stopped, still hearing Meghan crying.

"Emily, you crying?"

"Oh Howard, I don't want to leave her. I don't want to go back to work."

"Clearly she doesn't want to leave you either. "

"Howard could you?" She asked.

"Yes, I'll go see Meghan."

…..

_**September 1981**_

"Okay. Guys I'm sorry." Ellen apologized, getting on her knees to talk to the boys who were in their stroller.

They knew they were going somewhere and that something seemed unusual, but they had no clue where. She thought it was cute that Zach raised an eyebrow at her, noting he looked just like Howard when he did that. Ryan just stared at her. He was holding a toddler cup full of Cheerios and had been completely invested in them until just then.

"I didn't think I was going to have to leave you with any body else." Ellen thought she had this worked out perfectly.

She thought she'd be able to leave the boys with Howard when she did have to be somewhere for work, but she was wrong. At least for that day. Howard had to fly to New York early that morning to fill in for someone else who'd had a family emergency, causing her to have to seek alternate care for the twins.

"But Mommy has to go to work just for a few hours, okay?" She was going to take the train and leave the boys with her mother. Something she wasn't all that enthused about.

"Mama." Ryan mumbled.

"Ryan…was that a 'Mama' I heard honey?" He smiled in acknowledgement.

"That's wonderful sweetheart." She said, kissing both the twins. "And Mommy hopes you'll have a better time staying with Grandma than she would …and I'll be back to get you in just three hours. Promise!"

Emily was having a much more difficult time than Ellen that morning. She and the girls were about to take the train to Meghan and Bridget's new school and she was _trying_ to get them out the front door amid their varying protests.

"Mommy, why do we have to go?" Meghan asked.

"Mommy we stay with you!" Bridget plead.

"Oh I know you wanna stay with me girls, but I promise you're going to have a lot of fun with other kids and learn a lot and Mommy and Molly will be back in a couple of hours, okay?"

"Why does she get to stay with you Mommy?" Meghan was mad about this.

"Because she's a baby and your big three and four year old girls who are ready for preschool."

"No!"

"No!' Emily was frustrated by their protests.

"Yes, yes. I promise you're going to like it!" She said, escorting them out the front door.

…

Meghan and Bridget were nervous and clung to their Mom as they walked into school for the first time. Both girls buried their heads in the side of their Mom's leg and clung to her desperately. Molly watched with wide eyes from her stroller and hoped she wasn't going to be left anywhere.

"Mommy I don't wanna stay." Meghan looked up at her with teary eyes.

"Oh honey, it's just like a little play date where you can learn a few things, okay?" Emily explained.

"But Mommy we learn from you." Bridget reminded.

Emily realized this was extremely true: Bridget and Meghan had already been taught everything preschool had to offer academically, but there was the whole social aspect, and that's why she put them there. Meghan and Bridget were far too attached to each other for their own good, almost like twins. And Emily wanted to correct this before it caused serious damage.

"Okay my darlings, give Mommy a hug." She said, getting down on her knees.

Meghan and Bridget didn't hesitate to hug her tightly.

"Listen, the two of you will be here together you don't need to be scared, everything's going to be alright." She thought she probably shouldn't have emphasized that.

"You promise, Mommy?"

"I promise baby and you know what, Molly and Mommy will be back in just a couple of hours, alright?"

Emily felt bad that Meghan and Bridget cried a little when she left. It wasn't as if she didn't have her own feelings about them going to school. That morning she'd given them away to grow up…in a sense. It was the very beginning of their growing away from her and it hurt. But she left anyway and took Molly for a walk and to play in the park while the girls were in school. Baby Molly wondered why her big sisters had been dropped off at this place and really wanted them to come back. Nonetheless, she tried to enjoy her time in the park and banged her tiny hands against the tray on her stroller.

"Okay darlin, snack time." She said, turning Molly to face her as she sat on a park bench. "Look Molly, O's, they're your favorite!" She said, pouring a small bag of Cheerios onto the stroller's snack tray. "And your milk…and I figured we could just talk for a while!" Emily squealed as Molly giggled.

Molly didn't hesitate and grabbed a handful of Cheerios. She hadn't eaten that morning as her sister's complaining had been too distracting.

"Oh you're so cute honey." Emily said. Molly giggled.

"Mama." She said.

"Molly." Emily simply stated.

Molly said nothing and extended a handful of Cheerios to her Mom. It was a popular snack with her as well as her cousins.

"Oh thank you sweetheart, I'd love to have some." She said, taking a few in her hand. To her surprise, Molly reached out to try to feed some to her, smashing a few of the treats into her lips as she leaned over.

"Um, thank you for trying to feed Mommy, Molly that was good." She said. "So…I have a question for you." Emily began as Molly sat there. "How would you feel." She paused. "If you and Mommy did this all the time. That is…we made it a regular thing…and by that I mean…Mommy stays with you girls and finally doesn't go back to work."

In reality, Molly was not the one to ask about this. She was far too tiny to give much of an opinion on the issue. Emily asked her only because she felt like she had to practice the question on someone and in this case, she wanted someone who would barely answer back. She was a little anxious, for example, about what Bob's reaction would be.

"Mama stay." Molly contemplated happily. That was good enough of an answer for her.

"Yes sweetheart. Mama stay." She repeated. Molly clapped excitedly and that was Emily needed to know.

…

"See that wasn't that bad was it girls? I'm proud of you! You did very well! How was it, did you have fun?" Emily asked. She and the girls were getting on the train to head further downtown.

"Mommy we got to paint." Meghan said.

"And play with other kids."

"Yeah, like at the park."

"See, I told you it would be fun. I'm so proud of you, come on, let's look at what you made today, come here." Emily pulled both her girls onto her lap in order to conserve space on the crowded train.

She felt bad: Molly's stroller took up enough room. Meghan and Bridget didn't hesitate to snuggle up to their Mom. Emily wrapped her arms around the girls and hooked her foot into Molly's stroller so it wouldn't move.

"Lets see what did you make, Bridgee is that a butterfly?" She asked.

"Yeah, see it's purple!"

"I see that it's beautiful darling and you wrote your name!" She praised, looking at the name that had been painted very sloppily under the butterfly, but Emily was still proud that it was discernable and spelled flawlessly.

"Yeah Mommy, you taught us, remember?" Bridget reminded.

"Of course I remember Bridge." Emily, being a teacher, had taught Meghan and Bridget so much of what they might have otherwise learned in school.

"Yeah Mommy, we were the only first years who knew how." Meghan said.

"You were!" She smiled, beginning to tickle Meghan and Bridget. They squealed with laughter and finally stopped, resting their heads on their mother's shoulders.

"Oh my girls." She said, kissing both their cheeks. "Meghan what did you make? Let's see. Oh it's a Lady Bug? It's a pretty Lady Bug sweetheart! And its red!"

"Thank you Mommy!" Meghan said. "These are perfect, would you like Mommy to hang these on the fridge when we get home?" She asked.

The girls nodded at once.

"What do you think Molly?"

"Yeah baby sister what do you think?"

"Bu-fly, layee bug pwety."

"Mommy agrees. The butterfly and ladybug are both beautiful. How about we show Daddy when we get to his office. Would you like that?" Both the girls nodded.

…..

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" Meghan and Bridget called as soon as they hopped off the elevator.

"Shuu! Girls, remember how we talked about being quiet in Daddy's office?"

"Sorry!" Meghan apologized.

"Shu!" Bridget repeated.

"That's right honey, shu."

"Do I hear my favorite girls out here?" Bob asked, coming out of his office.

"Daddy!" Meghan and Bridget squealed, running toward him.

"Hi my girls." He said, lifting them into his arms. "Did you have a nice first day of school?"

"Daddy I got to paint a butterfly."

"And I got to paint a lady bug."

"That sounds wonderful girls, I can't wait to see them." He said, kissing their cheeks. "And how is my beautiful wife and my baby girl?" He asked.

"We're great Daddy." Emily smiled. "We just came to see you."

"Well I'm so glad you came to see me. But I was just about to head home anyway."

"I know. I thought maybe it would be nice to meet you, ride the train with you."

"Now that does sound nice." He said approvingly.

Meghan and Bridget each held one of their father's hands as they walked back onto the train.

"I'm glad you girls decided to come get Daddy and bring him home." Bob said approvingly. He hugged Meghan and Bridget tightly as he sat them on his lap.

"We're glad too Daddy."

"And I think Molly is too." Emily said, she was in the process of giving Molly a bottle that would tide her over until dinner.

"I'm glad to see you too Molly, of course. So how was your first day of school, other than getting to paint?" He asked.

"They met other kids Bob." Emily smiled. She was relieved.

"Oh you did."

"Uh-huh."

"And Mommy's thinking about staying home full time."

"She…she is." He wasn't sure what he thought about this and knew that either way, it would lead to a long conversation when they got home.

….

_A few weeks later_

Emily's thoughts consumed her as she sat the table. She kept catching herself doing it wrong. She stopped, took a breath and almost shrieked when she felt someone wrap their arms around her waist and begin to kiss her neck.

"Hi honey." Bob said. She could tell that he was very…grabby that evening.

"Hi Bob. When did you come in?" She asked as he continued to nibble on her neck. He sensed that she wasn't into it but continued anyway.

"Just a second ago, I can't believe you didn't notice me. Emily, we were going to fool around tonight…is something bothering you?"

"Oh it's not you Bob. It's something Bridget and Meghan's teacher said to me when I picked them up earlier."

"What's wrong? Is someone bothering them?"

"No, no." Emily took a breath. "Bob, they're not playing with other kids."

"What…I, I thought they were playing with other kids and everything was…"

"I know, so did I but I asked them and they said no, we just play together. Oh Bob, what are we going to do? I knew this was going to be a problem when they went to school and I just never told you."

"I thought so to and never brought it up. I don't know Emily…I guess we'll have to just talk to them. Emily we should be proud."

"Proud, why?"

"We've done too good of a job. A lot of sisters hate each other and look at them, they love each other so much, they refuse to make other friends."

"That's true."

"I mean were you like that with your sister?"

"No." Emily said quickly.

"My brother and I were certainly anything but that close." He recalled a period of time though, in his young teenaged years, when a preschool aged Ellen refused to play with anyone but him.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Meghan ran in the room, she was excited.

"Hi Daddy!" Bridget followed.

"Hi girls."

"Girls, Daddy and I wanna talk to you for a minute." Emily explained. "Yeah, that's right."

Bob and Emily sat on the couch together and took the girls in their arms.

"So, how's school?" Bob began. Emily figured she'd allow him to commandeer the conversation with the girls.

"Fun Daddy." Bridget explained.

"We made a flower picture today."

"Together?"

"Yeah, you wanna see it."

"In a minute Meghan honey. W-what about playing with the other kids, did you do any of that?"

Meghan and Bridget shook their heads.

"Well why not, that sounds like fun?" Emily asked.

"But we just like playing together." Meghan explained.

"Yeah." Bridget squealed, reaching for her big sister.

"Girls, it's it's nice that you love each other so much but you have to learn to play with other children, to make friends and find out how different people are. Besides, the two of you aren't going to be together forever." The girls exchanged glances.

"Girls, we've been meaning to talk to you about this: you're not going to be in school together next year. You see: Meghan's going to kindergarten and Bridget is going for her second year of preschool."

"No!" They cried.

"Yes darlings. Meghan has to go to kindergarten and Bridget is too young." The girls were clearly distraught at this.

"We're proud that you girls love each other so much."

"But look at Daddy and me, we love each other very much and we have other friends, we aren't together all day every day."

"That's true." Meghan sniffled. Bridget nodded.

"You have friends like Uncle Howard."

"That's right Bridget, see you can play with other kids and make friends together, like Uncle Howard."

"And I work with Jerry and Carol and they're still friends with your Mom. Hopefully you'll both make friends that each of you go to school with and then you can both be friends with them. Does that sound fun?" They nodded after considering this for a moment.

"Good girls. So when you go back to school next week, please promise Mommy and Daddy you'll try playing with some of the other kids."

"We promise."

"Awe good." Bob said, hugging Meghan tightly, Emily did the same with Bridget.

"Hi everybody." Howard said, coming into the apartment carrying Ryan.

"Hey Howard." Emily smiled, they hadn't expected him.

"I uh came over here to uh drop Ryan off. We were hoping maybe he'd play with Molly for a while."

"Now that's a good idea." Bob agreed.

"It is?" Howard was perplexed. Bob never thought any of his ideas were good.

"Yeah. Can Bridget go play with Zach?" Bob asked, thinking that it would be wonderful to force the kids to all play with each other and that if he and Emily had to take care of Ryan, it was only fair that they take care of Bridget for a little bit.

"Okay, that works. Come here Bridge, would you like to play with your cousin?" Howard asked. Bridget sighed, hoping she'd get to spend more time with her Aunt instead.

"Okay." She sighed, rolling her eyes; she got the point but didn't necessarily agree much with it.

"What about me?" Meghan asked once her sister left.

"Honey, this might be a good time for you to play alone." Emily offered.

"Alone?" Meghan was perplexed and didn't understand much about that concept.

"Yes alone." Bob said, cradling Ryan in his arms. "We think its something you'll really like as you get older."

"Mommy and Daddy like to spend time just by themselves."

"Yeah, Emily remember that one time I took a vacation by myself?"

"Yeah. And we both had a wonderful time apart. What do you think Meghan, want to try some alone time?"

Meghan paused for a moment and then spoke.

"Mommy if I play alone, can I play with your make-up?"


	17. Thanksgiving, Part 1

Ch 17- Thanksgiving, Part I

"Hi honey!" Emily chimed as Bob came in the front door. She jumped as he slammed it behind him. "Bob, are you alright?" She inquired, blinking a few times.

"No, I'm not alright!" He'd sat down at the edge of the stairs and begun the work of removing his golashes and shoes.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I'm just, just sick of it!"

"It…honey what it?"

"All of it: my job, the family…everything!" Emily was taken aback not only by his foul mood but by the idea that he was sick of the family…he didn't mean her and the girls, did he? She didn't know what to say.

"Oh…can I uh….can I do anything to help you?" She asked.

"Emily. Would it be alright with you if maybe we went away for Thanksgiving, didn't spend it with the family?"

"So your not sick of me and the girls?!"

"No! Never! What could ever give you that idea!"

"You said you were sick of the family."

"Emily, I hate to rub it in, but I mean my sister, my mother…everybody. Never you and the girls don't be ridiculous." He explained as Emily went back in the bedroom for a moment.

"Hi Daddy." Meghan yawned as she came into the living room. Her big blue eyes stared at him. He noted they looked as if they were full of fear and seemed to encompass her tiny face.

"Hi Meghan. What is it sweetheart?" He asked, managing to calm down for her sake.

"I'm scared."

"You're scared." He sympathized, picking her up and holding her in his arms.

"Yeah."

"Of what honey?" Emily asked, returning to the living room.

"The dark."

"The dark. Honey, there's nothing to be afraid of with the dark." Bob laughed and kissed his daughter's cheek. Comforting her comforted him on some level and gave him peace.

"Your baby sisters aren't afraid. They're both fast asleep." Emily whispered, reaching over to brush the girl's hair with her fingers.

"Well I am." She said, throwing her arms around her Dad.

"Why, you don't need to be. You're a big girl, remember? Oh I love you sweetheart, it's okay." He said, rocking her gently in his arms.

"Oh honey, there's nothing to be afraid of." Emily soothed. "Has your Daddy got you sweet pea?" Meghan nodded at this, and buried her head back in her Dad's shoulder, which, at the time, seemed like the only safe place in the world. "Yeah, that's Daddy's job isn't it sweetie?" Emily kissed both her husband's cheek and her daughter's cheek. "To make things less scary." She smiled up at Bob now.

"Yeah, I think that's in the description." He confessed. This, made him feel better about his lousy day. Even if he wasn't useful professionally, which he didn't feel like he was that day, he was good as a Dad and a husband and that was all that mattered anyway.

"Is your Daddy doing a good job of making stuff less scary?" Meghan nodded at this question to.

"Honey, you haven't really been afraid of your room before."

"It's dark in there." She offered.

"Come on my sweethearts. Lets go and check on Bridget and Molly, okay?"

"That's a good idea Mommy." Bob agreed, carrying Meghan in his arms still.

"No, Daddy please don't put me to bed!"

"Meghan, it's going to be okay, I promise."

"Shu." Emily warned as they made their way into the girls' bedroom. "Oh the nightlight is out, that's why you're so scared honey."

Bob and Emily put Meghan back to bed as quickly as they could and sat with her on the edge of her bed until she fell asleep again. They each kissed their daughter and then looked in on their other girls who were sound asleep.

"Oh wow they're exhausting, aren't they?"

"Yeah, they can be." Bob admitted. "Emily, I-"

"What?" She asked.

"I want to ask you something: don't get mad."

"What? And what is it that made you have such a terrible day?"

"Do you have Thanksgiving plans? I want to go on a road trip."

"I don't know Bob, that sounds nice, but they're all awfully tiny."

"I know but you see, Cliff and Corrine have invited us up to Vermont, to ski and spend some time with them and I'd like to go. I think the girls would have fun in the snow and I'm kind of thinking…"

"What sweetheart?"

"I sort of want to explore moving away again. Out to the country somewhere where life would be…more peaceful. Where maybe. I don't know where maybe we'll buy a house that's…different than what you can get in Chicago."

"You're, you're still thinking about the house thing?" She was very excited to hear this.

"Yeah. Of course. We have to do it Emily." He said. She beamed, she could've hugged him. "So what do you say, can we go?" He asked.

"Yeah Bob I think I like that idea too. The whole thing. The trip…the move….the house." She admitted. She didn't like Cliff, and couldn't imagine living near him. But she liked Corrine enough and she thought she'd move almost anywhere if she could get a house. She too wondered if a calmer, quieter life might suit them well anyway.

"Good." Bob smiled.

"You still didn't answer my question. What about work would make you want to just suddenly pick up and leave a city you've lived in your whole life?"

But Bob wouldn't answer this question. Three days later Bob had the car packed up to the brim with everything they might possibly ever need for a several thousand mile trip. Molly's birth had caused him to have to buy a new car they couldn't really afford (especially if he was going to have to buy a house, something he was thinking about a lot), but now he was at least happy he'd done it because no other car could possibly fit all this junk into it. Junk he didn't think they'd need. Emily had found a reason to bring everything under the sun.

She had been a might lighter traveler before she became a Mother. On this trip, they had a bag for him, two for her and four for the girls, a whole different bag for various things for the baby, another one with snacks, one with toys, a playpen for Molly to sleep in. Finally when he'd finished packing, she'd started asking him to double check and make sure they had items he knew they'd never need like a thermometer. He was relieved to finally be putting people in the car.

"Oh honey, are we really ready?" Emily asked, coming out to meet him, she somehow had all three of their daughters in her grasp and he wasn't sure how.

"Yeah, we're ready for sure." He said, taking baby Molly from her.

"Where we going?" Meghan asked.

"Oh sweetie, we're going to Vermont." Emily said as she began helping both Meghan and Bridget into their car seats.

"What's in Vermont?" Bridget asked.

"It's a fun place with snow and some friends of Mommy and Daddy's." Bob explained as he tucked Molly into her car seat. The toddler was fast asleep and had no idea she'd left her crib, let alone the apartment.

Meghan was confused. Mommy and Daddy had friends in Chicago, and there was snow too. Nonetheless, all three girls were fast asleep not long after they started driving.

"Oh Bob, I can't believe we're going to get to have some fun." She sighed as the car began moving. "And we might get to move!"

Bob thought that she had to be desperate if she was willing to call a week with Cliff, and a possible move to live near him, fun. He felt kind of bad.

"Well yeah. It's been a while Emily."

"Do you ever wish we would've done it?"

"Done what?" He asked.

"Moved to Oregon, you know when through with it."

"Oh that."

"You remember. When Bridget and Meghan were babies."

"You were still pregnant with Bridget when we were supposed to go."

"And then we put it off and we went out there when she was born."

"And we came back." He finished her sentence. "And sometimes I wish we'd done it Emily."

"What is it about home that's bothering you so much?" She was his wife and his best friend. She hoped she deserved to know. He sighed.

"It's…it's a bunch of things. My patients are frustrating. My mother and sister fight all the time and put me in the middle. Howard and Ellen are always there. They need so much from us. Our girls are growing up too quickly. Think about it." Emily looked back at the girls in the backseat, observing her daughters, now almost two, three and four who were fast asleep. It had kind of disturbed her that Meghan asked her for her makeup a few weeks before… "And I'd rather that I spent more evenings with you than with Mr. Carlin." Emily laughed at this. "Emily it's not funny."

"I know honey." She continued to laugh.

"I don't know if I want to move: I at least just want to get away for a while. You can appreciate that. As for Oregon. I'm not sure I wish we would've done that. I wish we would've done something a little different…and maybe I'm happy the way I am…what about you?"

"I don't know either. I'm happy the way we are Bob. We're just as in love as ever, maybe more," she commented. She was actually fishing for an answer and got it when she saw him smile. "I don't mind Howard and Ellen so much….and we have wonderful children. I just wish we…"

"What Emily?" He asked. She hesitated, not wanting to start a fight.

"Bob. I want to have a house to raise the girls in and I want to be with them and with you…"

"That's all I want too."

"Are you finally ready for a house?" She asked.

"I-I think so." He said. "I think we have to. Now that they're all walking, wanting to get out all the toys in the world…I think we need a bigger place and there's no getting around it."

"Just think Bob….we'll have Thanksgiving at our own house next year."

"Alright Emily but if it's in Chicago do we have to invite everyone?"

"Yes Bob!" He sighed. This wasn't the answer he'd wanted to hear. He rolled his eyes at her insistence that they include the family. "Well I've got another question." She announced. She thought that it was the absolutely perfect road trip question because she knew it would lead to a long, long story.

"And that is…"

"What's your favorite Thanksgiving?"

"Oh." He brightened suddenly. "That's easy…Meghan's first. It's the only one we ever spent alone."

"Oh." She laughed. "That was a very, very good one."

_**November 1977**_

"Well we've sure never had a Thanksgiving like this." Bob said, taking off his coat as he walked into the apartment. He was so glad to get home from work so early and know he had five days of just being with his family to look forward to.

He was ecstatic. He and Emily had never spent a Thanksgiving alone together and he was so excited for it. They didn't have to rush on making a huge dinner for a lot of people. They didn't have to eat at three o'clock. Instead, they were planning on lying around, enjoying each other's company, cooking just enough for two (or four…after all most people stuff themselves on Thanksgiving) and eating in the evening.

"No never. We're finally alone."

"And with our daughter."

"That's true, and it's her first real holiday too."

"Her very first…well, we could count the Fourth of July..."

"But then we'll have to count her first Fourth of July." Emily teased, referring to Meghan's conception, the previous Fourth of July. "Well then we'd have to count last Thanksgiving and last Christmas…" She considered.

"Well maybe, she sure ate her share on those holidays." He said, teasing her. "No, this is her first real holiday and it's too bad she's napping so much."

"Well she's tired, she's growing. And besides I think she's coming down with something." She admitted.

"Is she sick! Why didn't you tell me she was sick!" He burst, obviously very instantly concerned about the baby who hadn't really been sick before.

"Honey I don't think its anything to worry about. She's just been a little bit feverish and sniffily…"

"Feverish and sniffly Emily do you have any idea what that might mean!"

"No Bob I don't, besides its not really bothering her. She's just as happy as a clam still. It's just something I've noticed lately."

"I don't really know either Emily, but shouldn't you call the pediatrian if you…"

"Bob, she's just fine. Honey if you'd like to go and check on her…"

"Emily great, that's a great idea! I'll go check on the baby."

"Okay." She laughed, shaking her head. "But she's okay Bob." Emily insisted.

Emily shook her head and went back to pouring them each something to drink. Bob went into the nursery and looked down at the sleeping baby. He ran his fingers through her barely there fuzzy brown hair, feeling that she was warm to the touch within an instant.

"Hey Meghan, how are you." He whispered. "Oh you are warm. Emily you're right the baby does have a little fever!" Bob yelled.

"Oh Bob no! Shu! Don't wake the…baby." She finished as Meghan started to cry. Bob sighed in frustration.

"I'm sorry Emily, I forgot."

"It's okay darling! Meghan! Oh sweetie, come here! Daddy's sorry, he didn't mean to wake you up." Emily held Meghan close and quickly tried to calm her down.

"Honey I told you she's sick!" Bob said over the baby's tears when it became evident that she wasn't going to stop crying.

"You didn't tell me she was sick Bob, I told you she was sick! Honey could you please go make a bottle, I think maybe that'll calm her down, okay?"

"Okay." He promised. He was nervous about Meghan being sick. What if they couldn't make it better? What if her temperature wouldn't go down?

"Oh sweetheart it's going to be okay, it's okay." Emily soothed, kissing Meghan's head and beginning to rub circles in the tiny baby girl's back. "There, that's better isn't it?" She whispered once Meghan finally stopped crying. "Yeah. Shu, shu…quiet Daddy." Emily smiled, when she finally saw her husband come back into the room. She knew that the warm bottle would hit the spot and put her Meghan back to sleep.

Bob and Emily moved to the couch to give Meghan her bottle. Bob wrapped his arms around his wife as she fed the baby and kissed her cheek softly.

"You know, you are a beautiful Mother."

"Thank you darling." She giggled as they kissed. He smiled and moved to kiss her again. Meghan watched her parents with wide eyes as she ate. She'd never seen anything like this before and studied it carefully.

"Honey." Emily was barely able to get out that one word between kisses. "I'm going to get Meghan back to sleep and then you and I will go and put on something a lot more comfortable." She laughed.

"You got it." He kissed her again. "And I'm sorry for waking her up."

"It's alright, she was hungry anyway."

"Starved…from what I can tell." He remarked, indicating the fact that Meghan was eating very quickly.

"Whatchya lookin at sweetpea? Huh?" Emily giggled, noting Meghan staring up at them with the biggest little eyes.

"I think it was the kissing Emily." He explained, noting the baby wouldn't really know what that was exactly.

"Oh, well that might explain it." She giggled, kissing her husband again.

Meghan finished her bottle and fell asleep within the next few minutes. She wanted to stay up but felt well enough to sleep. You know how it is when your sick and its such a relief to feel good enough to sleep. Her little body gave in to slumber, Bob and Emily smiled as they watched her tiny blue eyes flutter shut. They spent a few more minutes cradling her in their arms and contemplating how sweet she was.

"Emily?"

"Hum?"

"You know what I'm most thankful for this year?"

"What?" She thought she knew.

"Meghan."

"She's the biggest blessing, isn't she?" Emily kissed her head as they got up to tuck her into bed. Bob was surprised that the baby didn't stir once as she was being moved to her crib.

"Happy Thanksgiving darling." Emily whispered as Bob turned on the mobile.

"Happy Thanksgiving Meghan."

"We're so thankful for you."

"Yes we are. Good night, baby."

Bob and Emily snuck out of the room quietly.

"So Emily I wanted to know…I brought you wine…fourteen months ago when you told me we were pregnant with Meghan…would you like to have it finally? We never opened it." He said, recalling their plans to open it on their anniversary, but she'd had the baby that night and so the wine remained in a corner of the kitchen, untouched by the two people that had planned to share it on some romantic evening…only trouble is…they hadn't really had an evening to themselves since then.

"That sounds wonderful." She smiled. "How about you pour the wine. And meet me in the bedroom."

"I..in the…"

"Uh huh." She giggled, leaving the room.

"Okay." He sighed, going into the kitchen to finally open the wine.

…..

"I'm so glad Meghan slept through the night." Bob smiled.

Eight hours had passed and morning had arrived. Bob knew it would be a wonderful Thanksgiving for three reasons: first, the baby had slept soundly through the night and seemed fine. He could hear her soft breathing through the baby monitor on the nightstand next to him and it was so sweet. Second, he could tell, by the light eminating through the slats in the shutters that it was snowing. He loved holidays with snow and knew that this would be no exception. And third, last but not least, he was holding Emily tightly in his arms, where she'd slept. He kissed her neck.

"Me too." She yawned, rolling over to face him. "Bob I love you."

"I love you too. And I've missed you."

"You've missed me. Bob we've been here together everyday."

"I know but I've been working so much and we've spent every little bit of our time with Meghan: I've missed you."

"Awe honey I've missed you too." She kissed him softly, wrapping her arms around him too. He started the kiss again, just as soon as it broke.

"I mean, we haven't really had the time we usually would…we haven't been going out, having dinner, being alone together…anything."

"Oh I know. I've really missed those things, especially the dinners and the conversation…and just being with you."

"But we're settling in, right?" He asked as he began to kiss her again.

"I think so Bob." She agreed. They stopped when they heard Meghan sigh in her sleep. "Oh Bob can you hear her?! She's so adorable." Emily remarked.

"She's precious." He smiled. She kissed his cheek.

"You're right." She said, continuing to kiss him. "We are settling in nicely."

Just as she said this, Meghan began to scream.

"Speaking of settling in, I would really like to stay in bed with you but I'm kind of hungry and I really think somebody should check on the baby." He actually also thought he could use another hour of sleep but that would come after eating Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone knows that's inevitable.

"That's a good idea honey." She said, getting out of bed. Bob watched as she put on her robe and ran her fingers through her hair.

"It's nice that you're still looking." She leaned across the bed and kissed him.

"Of course I'm still looking. How about I get the breakfast and the bottle and you get the baby."

"Sounds wonderful to me." Emily was excited. She couldn't wait to see Meghan, it had, after all, been eight hours. "Hi darling, Happy Thanksgiving!" Emily squealed, peering into her daughter's crib. Meghan sat, playing with a toy and waiting for her mother. She'd stopped crying by then. "Good morning Meghan. Do you like all the snow?" She asked, baby-talking and lifting her daughter into her arms. "Come on, let's go see Daddy. Happy Thanksgiving Daddy!" Emily called, going back into the kitchen.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you too Meghan." He kissed the baby's cheek. "Your breakfast is almost ready too."

"Here sweetheart, can you hold her?" She asked.

"Sure, I'd love to. Here Meghan, come to Daddy honey, hi."

Meghan squealed and smiled.

"Awe look someone loves her Daddy doesn't she?"

"I'd say she does. I hope so, cause I sure love her. I can't believe I'm going to finally have a Thanksgiving alone with my wife and baby daughter." Bob thought this was just perfect.

"I know, it's almost surreal, isn't it?" She asked.

"Yeah. I've waited for this for a long time."

"Me too."

"Meghan's lucky, she only had to wait nine months." Emily laughed when he said this.

"Of course, it'll be so much funner when she can eat with us, don't you think?"

"Of course." Bob and Emily stopped when they heard a knock on the door.

"Who could that be!" Bob was mad.

"Bob, Emily!"

"Oh no it's Howard." Bob grumbled.

"Bob, Emily are you there, I'm all alone!"

"Bob we can't leave him out there, it's Thanksgiving and he's our best friend!"

"Emily, yes we can! Emily I've looked forward to this for too long to spend Thanksgiving with anybody but you and Meghan."

"But Bob…it's Thanksgiving."

"Alright." He said, he went over and opened the door.

"Hi Bob….what took you so long?" Howard asked, he wondered why Bob didn't answer the door for him right away.

"Oh just, uh, trying to get up Howard." Emily giggled, pulling her robe shut a little further. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Yeah, we have pancakes…or we will in a few minutes." Bob said. He figured that he might as well let Howard in the house, he was always there anyway.

"Thanks guys but I'm kind of worried."

"Worried?"

"Ellen, she was supposed to be here. Just to be with me…and she didn't come! I think she stood me up." Howard was sad and put his head down.

"Oh Howard." Emily soothed, kissing her friend's cheek and running her fingers through his hair.

"Look on the bright side Howard." Bob said. "Maybe she didn't stand you up, maybe she's just dead."

"Dead! Bob she's the love of my life." Howard almost started crying. Meghan watched as he began to get hysterical…she just didn't get it.

"Howard…" Emily stopped when she saw someone come up behind Howard. The woman, who'd heard the conversation, covered Howard's eyes, causing him to panic.

"Who's that?!"

"Guess who?!" The woman asked teasingly.

"Ellen!" He exclaimed, turning around to hug her.

"Hi Howard." She smiled.

"Great!" Bob said, "Now she's here and we're all happy and we can go back to our separate Thanksgivings…"

"Bob, wait a minute!" Ellen protested. "I'm your sister, and I just got here and it's Thanksgiving."

"Oh that's right." He said. "Happy Thanksgiving Ellen, Howard."

"Alright. I get the message." Ellen giggled, leaning over to kiss Meghan's forehead. "We'll go have our Thanksgiving and you have yours." Ellen said, locking her arm with Howard's and turning to go back into his apartment.

"Can't we come over for pie!" Howard asked as Bob slammed the door.

"Bob I can't believe you!"

"What, you knew I wanted to be alone with you on Thanksgiving."

"No that your sister's staying next door with her boyfriend and you didn't even think twice about it." She laughed. Bob's eyes grew huge very suddenly. He handed Meghan back to Emily and bolted out the door.

"Howard, Ellen, want to come over for dinner?!"

_**November 1981**_

"Look how much you tried to protect her Bob." Emily giggled.

"Yeah and she still got pregnant anyway." She thought this was funny and he was quite serious.

"But think of it this way. She's got kids now and a husband that loves her more than I think she could've ever imagined…all because she got pregnant."

"Yeah…I guess." He admitted. "Emily…I am right about something about that Thanksgiving…"

"Bridget?" She giggled.

"Y-yeah."

"Yes you are."

"Mommy." Bridget yawned. "Are we there yet?"

"No sweetheart." Emily giggled.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because it's a long way away." Bob explained.

"We're only two hours from home sweetheart." Emily said.

"Oh! Daddy?" Bridget asked sweetly.

"What sweetie?" The three year old had been asking a lot of questions lately and Bob and Emily had gotten pretty good at answering them…until now.

"What did that story you were telling have to do with me?"

"Oh honey, it didn't have anything to do with you…" Emily paused, grappling for an answer. "You weren't born yet." She explained.

"Oh!" Bridget smiled, thinking that she understood.

Bob and Emily exchanged relieved smiles, thankful they'd skirted out of explaining that facet of life to Bridget…at least for another seven years or so.


	18. Thanksgiving, Part 2: She's my girl, and

Chapter 18: Thanksgiving, Part 2: She's my girl, and you're not going to steal her!

_**November 1981**_

"Howard it's just your brother what are you so nervous about?" Ellen laughed.

It was early in the morning and she, Howard and the twins were in the kitchen. Ellen was dressed for work and they were all getting ready for the day. Howard was especially nervous as he was going to the airport to pick up his brother Gordon who was visiting them on Thanksgiving.

"Ellen you don't understand…my relationship with my brother isn't like your relationship with yours…"

"Is this about the last time he was here? A lot's changed since then!"

"He's in love with you!"

"Howard." She said, trying to calm him down. "I'm in love with you. I was then. I am now even more." He smiled. "Only this time, I'm your wife and the mother of your children…"

"Yeah…I guess I have one up on him this time."

"Howard you always did." She laughed. "I was never in love with him. But you know what…I was always in love with you…you don't have anything to worry about sweetheart. And you never will."

"You promise?"

"I promise." She laughed, kissing him softly. "Feel better?" He nodded.

"Why does Gordon have to stay with me?" Howie inquired, coming into the living room.

He thought his Uncle was a moron and had a lot of studying to do that weekend, even though it was Thanksgiving. He didn't want his Uncle staying in his room for just that reason.

"He was always an academic…." Howard pointed out. "More so than me anyway." Ellen giggled at this. Howard's words highlighted Howie's point…at least in her mind.

"Dad…" Howie began. He thought Ryan and Zach would be better at helping him study than Uncle Gordon. "Can I stay with Bob and Emily when he's here….there's this big test next Monday, you know after Thanksgiving and…"

"Howie I don't know if that's the best idea." Ellen admitted.

"Ellen it's the SAT…and you were going to help me with that math thing…"

"Oh yeah that's right." She said. This was for sure, not the best time for Gordon to come. "Sweetheart, if you explain it to Bob very carefully, I think maybe he'll say yes to sleeping on the couch: okay?"

"Okay." The boy said, picking up his book bag and heading toward the door. "I guess I'll go down to the office and see what he says." Howie thought that the SAT and the fact that Gordon talked in his sleep would be enough to persuade Bob.

"Have a good day Howie." Ellen smiled.

"Bye."

"Why wouldn't he want to see his Uncle Gordon?" Howard was confused.

"Howard he's focused on his future…it's an important week."

"But staying with Bob and Emily…they have little tiny kids."

"Howard we have little tiny kids…he's used to it. That's not going to bother him. Besides they're kids are older than ours…if anything they'll be less of a burden."

"I know but…"

"Oh look at the time! Howard I have to go too!" She began, kissing him softly. "I hope my men have a wonderful day." She continued, turning to the twins who sat in their high chairs. She gave each of the boys a kiss and picked up her own brief case. "Bye guys."

"Buy Ellen." Howard waved as he watched his wife leave. He turned to the boys who looked up at him with big eyes and confused faces. They were always upset to some degree when she left.

"It's okay guys. Mommy will be back in a few hours. Until then, I know your brother's not happy…but how do you feel about meeting your Uncle Gordon?" Ryan and Zach only stared at their father when he asked this. He noted they had looks of disgust on their little faces about this question.

"Yeah I know! That's how I feel about it too!" Howard confessed. Throwing his face down into his hands.

…..

"Are we there yet?" Meghan asked, causing her parents to sigh and roll their eyes. Bob and Emily had been hearing this question on and off for many hours.

"Meghan. How about you stop asking," Bob suggested. "And we'll let you know when we're there."

"Are we there yet?" Bridget asked just because she wanted to ask too. Bridget's legs ached and she was sick of sitting and wanted to get up and run around…or at least just stand for a little while.

"Girls its time to stop asking Daddy so many questions he's tired." Emily told them.

"Okay." Meghan sighed. She yawned and looked out the window. They'd recently entered New England, and she was captivated by the fall colors. Her parents were as well, and both knew it was something they could get used to…it was enchanting if not just breathtakingly beautiful.

Bridget struggled to see out the window. She was stuck sitting in the middle and didn't think it was very fair that Molly got such a great view from her place sitting behind Daddy: she could barely see out the window anyway!

"Bob." Emily asked when she was sure the girls had gone to sleep again. She didn't want them to think she was being hypocritical. "Are we there yet?"

"Yes…or at least...close enough." Bob said, pulling off the main road.

"Bob, what are you doing?"

"Cliff told me to go to this hotel the first night…or actually, an inn."

"Oh an inn sounds so nice and cozy." She commented, thinking a sweet little bed and breakfast would make her just fall in love with Vermont.

Emily was pretty excited about stopping. They'd been in the car sixteen hours, and she felt like her legs were so cramped she'd never be able to use them again. They were all exhausted, and starving and could use a good night's rest for sure. Then there was the fact that it had begun to snow: heavily. Emily did not like being in the car in such heavy snow. She was afraid they'd break down and get stuck.

Bob and Emily could barely see the inn as they drove up to it. They could faintly make out a large wooden structure and the address at the end of the road, yet they'd failed to see the sign at the edge of the drive indicating the old colonial inn's name: _The Stratford Inn,_ and what's more, they didn't see the sign dangling below it that read: _Closed for Business. _Instead they struggled through the snow to the front door, having done their best at bundling up their sleeping little girls before they went into the inn. When Bob opened the door to the old place, he immediately wished he would've gone in himself first and left Emily and the girls in the car. It was old, broken down; dark and cold…obviously barely cared for. It was a nice old place you could tell…from what you could see and it was kind of sad.

"H-hello!" He called, careful not to wake the girls. The last thing he wanted was for the three of them to get scared and start crying.

"Bob, I wanna get out of here, this is scary!" Emily confided, holding Molly tightly.

"Well what are we doing here Emily, I mean Cliff told us to come here…" he remarked, noting to himself that this must be some kind of practical joke.

"Anybody there?" Asked a voice from out of the dark.

Emily would've been scared if it didn't seem like such a friendly voice…who was a little scared too. She suddenly saw a figure in the faint distance. He approached them cautiously, guided by the soft but somewhat blinding rays of a small flashlight.

"Y-yeah!" Bob replied. "Is this an inn…I was given this address by a friend…"

"Oh have you come to look at the place to buy it?!" The man seemed hopeful.

"Buy it! No I just wanna stay here for the….Cliff! It's the Peeper!"

"Peeper?!" The man asked, having by this time approached Bob and Emily. "Where!?" He was frightened now. He didn't know what a Peeper was, but he didn't want one staring at him in the dark, that was for sure.

"Emily look, I knew it was a practical joke, it's the Peeper!"

"Peeper? Look mister I…"

"Come on Cliff, I know it's you!" Bob laughed.

"I'm not Cliff, I'm George…and you're not here to buy the place?"

"No." Bob reiterated, a little taken aback.

"Bob, he's not Cliff and this isn't a joke." Emily began, patting George on the shoulder. "Look your confusing him."

"You said your name was, was George?"

"Yeah and you're not here to buy the place?"

"No."

"Shoot. I was thinking it could be nice to have people like you around, owning the place. People with little tykes and everything."

"They're girls." Emily remarked even though she knew he met only well in referring to them that way. Bob didn't think the correction was important.

"So you're not Cliff Murdoch!" Bob was upset.

"Oh…" George paused, a smile slowly coming to his face. "Cliff Murdoch! He's my cousin."

"Y-your cousin!" Bob wanted to say they looked like twins.

"Yeah. But I don't know how you could confuse me for him. Most people don't see a resemblance." Bob and Emily exchanged glances.

"Cliff look…." Bob said, barely believing that this, George, wasn't actually Cliff.

"I told you mister uh…what was your name?"

"Hartley."

"Mr. Hartley..." George began.

"It's Dr. Hartley actually." Emily added. Bob shot her an annoyed look. That correction wasn't important either.

"Doctor, oh I'm sorry!" George apologized. "You know I've got this thing with my back that…"

"George, I'm sorry I'm not, not that kind of a doctor."

"Oh."

"Where does Cliff Murdoch live?" Bob asked.

"Oh about twenty miles that-a-way in the next town over." Bob ascertained that George was pointing East.

"Okay. Come on Emily, we better get going before the snow gets worse." Bob said, turning and leaving without saying much of a good-bye to George other than a curt 'thank you' and 'happy holidays.'

George stood at the front door and scratched his head as he watched Bob and Emily tuck their daughters back in the car and drive away into snow.

"Gee I wish some people like them would come and buy this place." He muttered. George sighed, turning his flashlight back on and wandering back into the dark, cold house.

….

Zach and Ryan kind of reminded Howard of him and Gordon…and in that order. Zach was the sweetheart of the two, just like his father, and Ryan was more of a smart aleck, reminiscent of both his Uncle and his Mom. Zach would crawl up to you and give you a big kiss on the nose. Ryan would make a mess of everything he could get his hands on (which was a lot now that he was crawling) and then laugh about it. It wasn't as if to say that both the boys didn't have their moments: that Zach didn't get into things, that Ryan wasn't loving and affectionate, cause he was…but still something about the twins largely impressed Howard as being like his brother and himself. It made him smile, and it bothered him too.

It was the night before Thanksgiving. The twins were fast asleep. Howard, Ellen and Gordon were having a pre-Thanksgiving dinner and finally Howie was nowhere to be found. In truth, the boy had gone down to Bob's office after class was over. Having discovered (via Carol and a distraught Mr. Carlin, who liked to spend Thanksgiving with Bob if he could) that Bob and Emily had skipped town on Thanksgiving without telling anyone. It was that fact that led Howie to make a very stupid decision, which would seem more like a brave one to most sixteen year olds. He was going to sleep on Bob and Emily's couch that night, he'd get all the studying done he needed, he'd have peace, quiet and who knows…he might even have a date over…for a little while. Bob and Emily's apartment certainly was a great atmosphere for a cozy evening in...

Meanwhile, Ellen was thinking that she would've rather just had a cozy evening in with her husband. Or even just one with their three sons. Gordon was a nice guy, but the fact that he'd liked her at one time…and clearly still did, was making the evening uncomfortable at best. It was just the three of them, and they were free to talk about that fact. Ellen wished Howie would come back and maybe shield her from scrutiny in a way Howard couldn't, but he hadn't come home…and she was worried sick about the stepson she was beginning to love like he was her own.

"I just can't believe you two finally did it." Ellen thought this was maybe the third time Gordon had said this.

"Well we did." Ellen said, showing him the ring on her finger. She wanted to prove it to him this time so that maybe he'd stop asking if it was true.

"Well that and you saw the babies." Howard pointed out.

"And we invited you to the wedding." Ellen reminded.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I had to be in Australia to watch kangaroos box."

"Gordon I though you worked in a bird sanctuary." Ellen offered.

"Oh I did, but I got moved to work with more exotic animals."

"I bet Debbie the Pheasant wasn't too happy." Howard reflected.

Ellen looked up and noted the clock strike seven. Howie was never home this late. Something had to be wrong. She recalled that he'd gone to see Bob after work; maybe that's where he was, with Bob. On the other hand, she hadn't seen Bob or Emily all day that day, or the day before. She got up and decided to go next door, perhaps he was there and just avoiding his Uncle.

"Ellen where are you going?" Howard grabbed her hand; he didn't want her to leave him with his brother.

"I don't know if you've noticed. But Howie didn't come home from school." Ellen began, Howard looked at her quizzically. "You know, Howie, your son. Tall kid, sixteen, blonde…" She continued.

"Oh yeah that's right. Well it is Thanksgiving. Maybe he went to his Mother's."

"Well he was supposed to see Bob after work. He went downtown."

"Oh." Howard considered as his wife went to her purse.

"How are Bob and Emily? Gee, it's been what…five or six years since I've seen them. What are they up to?"

"They have three children." Ellen offered.

"Oh!" He was surprised by this.

"Yeah. Three daughters, they're one, three and four. And I have three sons." Howard explained. Ellen smiled to herself, he was gloating again and it was kind of funny. "But other than that, they're exactly the same."

"I'm going to go next door for a minute Howard. Maybe Emily's heard something."

"No, no, uh, I'll go."

"You'll go?" Ellen raised an eyebrow. She wanted to go! Gordon was his brother! She needed to get away from the man that had made three passes at her that night, badly.

"Yeah, uh, I'll be right back."

In truth, Howard also wanted to get away from the man that had made three passes at his wife that night. He would've also wanted to keep her away from him, but this his Howard, his plan was somewhat poorly executed and devoid of logical reasoning. In leaving Ellen there, he left her vulnerable to another come on, or a dig at their marriage, neither which she was anticipating.

"Hurry back honey." She called as he went out the door.

"You know Ellen, this salad is great." Gordon complimented as she took her place at the table again.

"Thanks Gordon…" she managed a smile. "But it is just salad it was easy to throw together."

"You know you look great…"

"Gordon. Stop it! I married your brother! I'm in love with your brother! I'm the mother of _his_ sons, _your_ nephews. I'm sure there's a great girl out there for you, but I'm not it…"

"What do you see in him that you don't see in me?" Gordon asked.

Ellen could see that he was hurt, which was why she didn't say what she was really thinking: 'well, I slept with him, and not you, what does that say?' At the same time, she couldn't believe he kept asking her, his brother's wife, these things. Instead of replying, she just stared at him and allowed him to continue.

"Look Ellen, if you ever get _tired_ of Howard." He began as he got up from the table, putting his napkin in his plate. He emphasized the word tired in a very strange way and she couldn't help but wonder why. "My door's always open." Gordon took her by surprise and kissed her softly before turning to leave.

Ellen just stared at him as he walked out of the room, wondering how she was supposed to explain to her husband that his brother kissed her. It was then that Howard began to yell.

"Ellen, Ellen come here, quick!"

"Oh Dad, it's just one friend."

"But she's a girl!"

Howard had just walked in on his son making out with a girl on Bob and Emily's couch. It was a strange sight. After walking into that apartment several times daily for many years now, he'd never even seen Bob and Emily making out. What were the odds that he'd come in and find his son doing it? The shock was a lot for him to handle.

"Dad, Ellen…" Howie began defensively.

Ellen assessed the situation very quickly and cut into the conversation, kindly extending her hand to the young girl. While she wanted the teens out of the apartment, the last thing she wanted was for Howie to think that his father was invading his privacy like his Mother had.

"Hi, I'm Ellen. I see you're a friend of Howie's, what's your name?"

"Julie."

"Julie. Hi, nice to meet you. Would you like to have desert with us? And maybe we'll get to know you better."

"Sure." She shrugged, finding it kind of nice to be invited in by Howie's stepmother after initially being busted: it met she probably wasn't going to get in trouble. "Howard, why don't you show Julie into our place okay." She said, calmly beginning to usher the two of them out the door.

"You're great at this." Howard smiled. "And where's my brother Gordon?"

"Oh he went back to your parents place." Ellen thought this was awkward for her to discuss already.

"Too bad, without saying good bye." He considered as he walked back out into the hall with his son's date.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" Howie asked.

"Oh yeah." Ellen smiled. "You're looking at time. Grounded time."

"Don't forget a good dose of what were you thinking, brought to you by a very confused Howard Bordon." Howie added as he picked up his book bag.

"That's right. Come on, lets go home, okay?"

"Ellen."

"Hum?"

"Thanks so much."

"For what?"

"For caring enough to make me do the right things…for trusting me, and for not embarrassing me. Can I tell you a secret?" He whispered. She nodded. "I really like this girl."

"I can tell and no, we won't embarrass you."

"Well then we better get over there!" He ran toward the door assuming his father would find some way to embarrass him greatly in the few seconds it took them to walk back next door.

"Howie, if you get to tell a secret. So do I." She said quietly. "I don't know what to do about this one…your Uncle just kissed me!"

"Shut. Up!" He gasped.


	19. Merry Christmas to You

Chapter 19- Merry Christmas to You

_**December 1981**_

Ellen was still burdened by the kiss she'd received from her brother-in-law Gordon. Two weeks had passed and she knew she had to find some way to tell Howard. Worse, she knew she had to tell him about what he'd said to her: that part about his door being open if she ever got _tired_ of Howard….What had he met by tired? It had been obvious he met something by it…maybe something about Howard she didn't know? That part scared her and in that sense, she was glad she'd told her stepson the entire story. Besides being comforting, Howie was just as perplexed as she and had no idea what to say to Howard either. He thought he might be angry enough about it to go after Gordon…physically….and of course haphazardly.

Ellen sighed. She'd just put the boys on the floor to play and was waiting for Howard to come home. She poured herself a glass of wine as she sat, kind of impatiently, on the couch. Zach knew she was worried and stared up at her from his place on the floor.

"Sweetheart I'm okay." Ellen soothed. He wasn't sure if he believed her or not and wondered what was wrong.

"Hi Ellen, I'm home. Oh boy, look whose up!" Howard was excited, he hadn't anticipated that the twins would be awake when he got home and he'd missed them.

"Hi sweetheart, did you have a good trip?" She asked.

"Good? It was great! But I missed you." He said, kissing her. "And I missed the boys! I'm so happy to be home with you…" She just watched him as he yammered on, slowly encircling his hands around her waist and holding her close to him as he talked to the twins who couldn't understand him anyway. "You know I get Christmas off this year! Usually its just the married guys…" He stopped when Ellen leaned in and kissed him very suddenly.

"Oh Howard, I love you."

"I know you do, but what was that for?" He was a little surprised.

He knew she loved him, but Ellen was typically not the first one to choose to show quite that much emotion…especially gushy emotion like that that was just purely appreciative and sweet. So when she kissed him like that, he knew it met something: usually something important.

"Can't I tell my husband I love him when he comes in the door?" She asked, still hugging him tightly.

"Yes you can." He smiled, kissing the top of her head.

"Howard." She sighed, her head leaning against his chest.

"Yeah." He hesitated, knowing something was coming.

"Howard, something happened last week that really scared me."

"Scared you, what honey, what scared you?" He asked sweetly, cradling the back of her head in his hands. He hated the idea that something had scared her. She smiled at him, noting how sweet and gentle he was: there couldn't possibly be anything really bad about him she didn't know and she was ashamed for doubting that for even just a heartbeat.

"Howard."

"Uh-huh."

"Your brother Gordon."

"What about him?"

"Honey, he kissed me….."

"WHAT!"

Howard yelled loud enough to shake Bob and Emily next door. Bob was alarmed and threw down his paper. Emily dropped the silverware she'd been trying place on the table.

"What the hell was that?" Bob asked.

"Oh she probably told him." Emily assessed as she went back to setting the table. She stopped suddenly and looked up, realizing she'd accidently said something she wasn't supposed to. Bob didn't know about Gordon's kiss either.

"Told him…told him what?"

"Bob." Emily sighed. "When we were out of town. Gordon visited."

"Yeah, and…" He knew that part.

"He kissed Ellen."

"WH-"

"Shu! Bob. I don't want her to know I told you. And I don't want you to wake the baby she has a cold."

"Molly's sick?"

"Just a temperature and the sniffles she's going to be fine but she's sleeping it out now and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Oh." He paused. He resented the fact that he didn't know the baby was sick. "Emily are you sure he kissed Ellen. I mean maybe…"

"Maybe what, he kissed her."

"What kind of a guy kisses his brother's wife?"

"I guess one who really wanted her for himself."

Bob stopped for a second to assess the situation. His own brother had married a blonde. Blondes were really more Bob's type than say, Emily who he had fallen in love with and married despite her not being the type of girl he usually went for. He liked his sister-in-law and found her attractive. She was a tall blonde woman who often wore sweaters…too many sweaters actually…but even finding her attractive he'd never kiss her…that was just wrong on so many levels.

"Bob what are you thinking about?" Emily asked. He was startled momentarily; not wanting Emily to know he'd even contemplated kissing his own brother's wife.

"She's chosen Howard over him very obviously. On a couple of different occasions: why would he do that?"

"He also said that his door was open if she got _tired_ of Howard." She explained. Bob raised an eyebrow.

"Tired of Howard?"

"No _tired_ of Howard." She re-explained, by reemphasizing the word tired.

"Oh that tired."

"Yeah Bob, what does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"You don't' think there's something about Howard that we don't know." Emily inquired. Bob said nothing and just simply stared at her.

"Come on. Emily. This is Howard. He's _our_ best friend. We've had dinner with him at least four nights a week for, for how many years? And now he's our brother-in-law. Emily I can assure you there's nothing we don't already know about the guy."

"Bob, Emily. You didn't know this about me, but I can get really, really mad!" Howard revealed as he came in their door. Ellen followed with a twin on each of her hips.

"Howard please don't bother them, just come home."

"No body kisses my wife and gets away with it!" He threatened.

"What are you going to do Howard?" Bob asked dryly.

"I'm gonna…! Now wait what am I going to do? I know! I'm going to fly to Oregon and I'm going to clean his clock that's what I ought to do…better yet! I'll go after the birds!" He thought this was a brilliant idea and excitedly turned and left. Ellen followed without a word to her brother or Emily.

"Howard. You're not going to kill a bunch of defenseless birds because of this!" Ellen insisted.

"Why not, Gordon's a-a birdbrain!"

Bob shook his head and resumed reading his paper. He and Emily jumped as Ellen slammed the door, but didn't look up from their activities.

…..

Molly's mouth practically watered as she watched her sisters stir the thick chocolate chip batter. She remembered the last time Mommy made this and gave her a little pre-baked taste: she'd really liked it, even better than the baked cookie its self…actually much better than the baked cookie. Molly wanted badly to help and reached for the spoon, now stuck in the batter like a stick in the mud. And now that she felt better, she thought cookie dough would be a great treat. Unfortunately, her sister Meghan, who was holding the spoon, didn't agree.

"Mommy she's trying to help!" Meghan complained. Molly's help was often more of a disruption than anything else.

"Meghan just give her some cookie dough and she'll be happy for a while." Emily suggested. She was busy moving things around in the living room to prepare for the tree Bob would bring home later that evening.

"Hi Emily." Ellen greeted as she walked into the apartment.

"Oh hi Ellen. How's it going with Howard, does he still want to kill Gordon?"

"Oh yeah. Of course he does. I just wish I could make him…I don't know…let it go maybe? Its not like I had anything to do with it."

"I'm sure it will be okay…just give it time."

"Anything like this ever happen to the two of you?" She asked. Emily paused, considering this for a moment.

"No." She laughed. "I'm sorry. I don't think so."

"Yeah. Guess not. Neither of my brothers are like that." Ellen considered.

"Like what?" Meghan asked.

"Yeah, like what?" Bridget followed.

"Like nothing." Emily giggled calmly. "How about you two go and get your doll house ready for Christmas, okay? I think the cookies have been stirred enough."

She sighed, looking up to see her now cookie batter-covered baby. Meghan had followed her mother's instructions and given her tiny sister some of the batter, only now, it was all over her face, hands and hair as she'd stuck her hands in the bowl and made a huge mess.

"Molly?" Emily inquired sweetly. "Did you decide to make a big mess, my love?" Molly giggled.

"Not unless her name is really chocolate-chip face." Ellen teased Molly.

Emily laughed at this as she walked into the kitchen.

"Look Ellen, like I was saying, I…" She began as she finished wringing out a wet washcloth in the sink.

"Ellen! It's great. I just figured out how to do it!" Howard exclaimed, coming into the apartment and slamming the door behind him.

"Howard, you didn't leave the boys…."

"No! Howie just got home! Listen isn't this great…."

"If it's about Gordon I don't want to hear it." She sat down at the table and he pulled up a chair and sat next to her.

"Neither do I." Bob warned, coming in the front door.

He was grouchy and tree-less, both things that made Emily worried. She watched him carefully as he hung up his coat and she cleaned Molly up.

"Howard, can't you just forget it?" Ellen asked.

"Forget it! I'm just trying to defend my girl's honor, I…"

"Howard. That's very sweet of you." Ellen smiled, brushing his cheek with her hand. "But honey. You did defend my honor. We're married." She took his hand in her own. "We have a life together. And we choose each other every day. Not your brother, not anybody else. And that's what matters. Now will you just let this go sweetheart? And enjoy Christmas with me?"

"Okay." He smiled, deciding to stop burdening her with this. He'd beat the crap out of Gordon the next time he came to town and dispense with his original concept of planning something a little more…calculating. That is until another thought struck him. "Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" He burst, starting everyone in the room. "I've got an idea! I've got an idea!" Howard was excited, grabbed his wife's hand and began to walk toward the door.

"What?"

"Ellen let's take the boys ice skating!" He covered, saying the first thing that came to his mind. After all, he didn't want her to know this had to do with Gordon.

"Ice skating! Howard they can't walk!" She reminded, slamming the door behind her.

"Merry Christmas to you too!" Bob called, noting that they'd totally ignored him in his own home, again.

"Honey, are you okay?" Emily asked.

"What you really mean is, where is the tree?"

"A little bit, yeah Bob…"

"Daddy!" Bridget squealed running to greet him.

"Hi sweetheart." He smiled, hugging her tightly. He was surprised when she kissed his cheek. "I missed you too." He told her and she giggled. "Look Emily uh…why don't we have getting the tree be a family event this year: all five of us."

"Can I pick?" Meghan asked, suddenly coming up beside him.

Emily sighed. Meghan was going through a phase where she thought her opinion was the only one that mattered. Emily hoped that would end soon; she wasn't planning on raising any brats and she knew Meghan was too sweet and too smart to be a brat.

"How about we pick together." He suggested. Meghan smiled, liking this too, much to her mother's relief.

…

"Mommy can we read the story again?" Meghan asked, holding up the book to her mother.

"Pleeeaaase." Bridget begged.

The lights were dimmed and Bob was putting up the tree. Emily was sitting in the big, brown armchair giving Molly a bottle as she fell asleep, hence the dimmed lights. Emily was stressed because Molly's fever from the night before had made an unexpected return and she was miserable. Emily knew the only choice she had was to hold her as she fell asleep, or maybe all night, she didn't know which.

"Oh girls I don't know, my hands are kind of full." She whispered.

"Mommy please?" Meghan asked again.

"Ple-"

"Girls, Daddy will do it once he finishes with the lights: okay?" Bob promised.

"Okay." Meghan pouted. She looked down at the book sadly, and wished she could just read it herself. She could…just a little bit.

Cliff and Corrine had given the girls the book as an early Christmas present. It was the tale of a strange Christmas in Vermont and Bob and Emily thought it was one of the most bizarre books either of them had ever read, but the girls never tired of hearing it and so Bob and Emily had read it to them over, and over again.

"Meghan, don't you know it yourself by now?" Emily giggled. She was sure she must know it.

"No Mommy I don't know it."

"Please read Daddy, please!" Bridget asked again.

"Alright." Bob sighed and put the long string of Christmas lights back down on the floor. "Story time girls."

Meghan and Bridget hurriedly climbed into their father's lap. He'd decided to read to them, not to appease them, but because he knew it would put them to sleep faster, leaving he and Emily to deal with Molly's fever more efficiently. Sure enough: Meghan and Bridget began to nod off as their father read. Emily felt badly, wishing that she could sleep too.

"Okay girls." He whispered, shutting the book. They were lethargic and struggling to stay awake. "It's time to go to bed. We'll read more in the morning."

"No…" They began to protest.

"Yes." Their mother giggled.

Someone knocked on the door as she kissed the now half-asleep girls good night.

"Who can that be?" He asked, not sure if he should answer it or not.

"It's Howard." He called.

Bob rolled his eyes and decided to take his daughters to bed anyway. Howard would find his way in the house somehow. He always did. Emily ignored Howard's knock too and focused on rocking the baby, which was beginning to work. She hoped.

Bob was right about Howard finding his way inside, as usual. He let himself in this time and talked to Bob about his problem as he finished putting the lights on the tree and Emily finally got Molly to sleep.

"And uh…well Ellen sent me over here because she thinks my wanting to get back at Gordon has become an obsession and she thinks it's unhealthy. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" Bob asked.

"Yeah: is it unhealthy?"

"Well…."

"And have you and Emily ever gone through anything like this?"

"L-like this?" Bob laughed. "No. I-I can't say we have Howard."

Emily paused. This question made her uncomfortable. She'd been thinking about that ever since Ellen had asked her the same question the day before.

"And as for it being unhealthy…" Bob continued. "I don't know. I think maybe you should put it out of your mind. I mean, she loves you and not your brother. There's really nothing to be gained from trying to get back at him…just stay away from the guy…At the same time…I think I'd wanna hurt someone who kissed my wife or tried to come between us." Bob said taking Emily's hand. She was surprised about this. That didn't seem like him.

"So you see what I mean?!" Howard was excited that Bob might understand or even possibly be on his side.

"Y-yes Howard I see what you mean; but that still doesn't mean hurting him is a good idea."

"Yeah I-I guess you're right. Bob."

"Hum?"

"I have one more question."

"What Howard?"

"If you were me or I guess what I'm trying to say is…would you be mad if Emily didn't tell you something like that?" He asked, causing both Bob and Emily to freeze.

….

"You know what's funny Bob?" Emily asked as they climbed into bed.

"No, what?" He questioned, rubbing his face. He was exhausted.

"Earlier, Ellen asked me if we'd ever had anybody try to come between us or if we'd ever been in a situation like she and Howard are with Gordon."

Bob laughed out loud at this. The very idea was ridiculous to him.

"That's funny Emily!" He said. He kissed her gently, turned off the light and closed his eyes. "To think. Where would they get the idea that we could've had a similar problem?"

"They just want someone to understand."

"I know. But us…in that way?" He laughed. "Night Emily." He didn't notice she sat up beside him in the dark.

She bit her lip. She was conflicted and wondered if she should tell him that someone had kissed her once since they'd been married. Like with Ellen, it had been nothing that she'd asked for, but she'd never told him and always felt guilty about it. It had been almost four years; the incident had happened when she was expecting Bridget. It was so long ago, but she thought he should know. Telling him would take a burden off her heart: but not tonight. She'd let him sleep peacefully.

"Night Bob." She kissed his cheek, "I love you."

"I love you too Emily." He mumbled. She sighed, rolled over and closed her eyes for a long night of restless sleep.


	20. A Christmas Surprise

Chapter 20- A Christmas Surprise

_**Late December, 1977**_

Emily loved it when she and Bob woke up tangled in their covers. It made her feel loved all over in a completely different and special way, even when she'd just spent the night being loved. Her hair was a complete mess and she would've been cold, if it weren't for Bob's arm around her.

"Good morning sweetheart." She said, kissing his cheek.

"Hi Emily." He smiled, kissing her forehead sweetly. She loved how sometimes he could be nothing but absolutely sweet, especially after he'd just been …passionate.

"I wish we didn't have to get up this morning."

"That's a good wish Emily." He said, nibbling on her neck. "I've got the same one. Um…do we have any more time?"

"Um no honey, you're late."

"That's too bad. I guess I better get up, huh?" He asked.

"First." She said, grabbing his face and kissing him deeply. "Good morning darling I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled, giving her a sweet kiss.

"And I love it when you mess up my hair so much." Emily smiled as she sat up and began to fix her hair.

"So do I." He laughed, going into the bathroom.

Bob got in the shower and Emily got up to make breakfast. After he left she went to tend to the baby and get ready for work.

"Good morning Meghan darling." She smiled, leaning down to pick up her baby. "Oh!" Emily stopped, she felt sick to her stomach all of a sudden.

Seven-month-old Meghan looked up at her Mom concernedly. Emily's mind flashed for a second trying to figure out what was going on and figured she must have the flu. Suddenly the illness gripped her again and she fled from the room, leaving the baby in her crib and going straight to their guest bathroom…morning sickness…this was just like morning sickness, but how in the world could it possibly be that? Emily walked back in the nursery and looked down at Meghan.

"No, it couldn't be that." She assured herself. "Oh Meghan, Mommy's just being silly, she couldn't be pregnant, look at you, you're just a little tiny baby!...Oh yes, yes I could." She reconsidered and with the baby on her hip she scurried to check the calendar. "Well Meghan…Mommy's very late, on top of everything else. What do you think of that?" Meghan didn't reply and just stared back curiously.

Emily put Meghan down when she felt the urge to throw up again. How could this be? They'd been even more careful after Meghan was born, as they'd clearly figured out they could have children.

"What do I do now?" She asked herself after finishing her third round of morning sickness.

Emily had a few home pregnancy tests which she'd bought just to have around incase something like this happened, or for when they had planned to try for their second child…which was supposed to have been more than a year from then. They'd planned to wait until Meghan was at least two…not just half a year old. Emily became sick twice more when she was waiting for the bell timer to go off and called to make a doctor's appointment before work.

Emily thought she was shaking as she picked up the test but she wasn't sure. She was so nervous and tried to tell herself that these things were not at all accurate, even though she knew they really were. Meghan began to cry before she could pick up the test, all of this and poor baby still hadn't been fed.

"Oh darling come here. Come here maybe holding you will make Mommy feel better, huh?" She asked, soothing Meghan and taking her in her arms. She went back to the bathroom and picked up the test again. Positive.

"Okay, don't pass out. Holding Meghan, holding Meghan, holding Meghan…"

…

"Oh Meghan, Meghan. Meghan what is Mommy going to do?" She asked.

Emily was crying as she sat on the couch feeding Meghan. Hours had passed. Emily had gone to the doctor, gone to work and come home. When she was at school the doctor called back and confirmed that she was pregnant again. Emily was confused and sick. The morning sickness was relentless and yet she'd started to have cravings. She was a wreck and emotionally she was in a crevasse- somewhere between excited and devastated.

Meghan blinked a couple of times and reached up and grabbed her bottle. Even though she was just a tiny baby she could sense her mother's distress and wanted to do her best to try and comfort her.

"Are you trying to feed yourself darling? Oh you're such a good little girl. But it doesn't help much because I still really don't know what to do."

"Emily why are you crying, are you watching Casablanca again?" Bob asked concernedly as he came in the front door.

"Hi Bob." She sniffled.

"Honey what's wrong? The baby's not crying, not now, you…"

"No Meghan's fine. Bob, sit down."

"What could it possibly be?"

"Oh Bob…" Her eyes welled up with tears again.

"Honey don't cry what's wrong? I mean you're both alright…"

"Meghan's perfect. I'm alright, I just…I don't know how this could actually be happening." She admitted, allowing herself to play with Meghan's fingers. "Oh Bob she's got such tiny baby fingers!" Emily cried.

"I know she does Emily. That's, that's normal for an eight month old. How could what have happened?"

"Well Meghan, should I tell Daddy?" Emily asked the baby.

"Yes Emily, you should tell Daddy." Bob stressed.

"Okay, Bob," She took a deep breath and collected herself, "I'm having a baby."

"I know you had a baby and she's beautiful there she is." He smiled, tickling Meghan's cheek, causing the baby girl to smile. He'd missed his daughter more than usual that day and couldn't wait to hold her.

"No Bob, not Meghan."

"What!?"

"I know why do you think I've been crying?!"

"Emily you…" She nodded. "You're really pregnant again? So…so soon?"

"I know it's a surprise. Meghan's only eight months old still and we're just getting used to her being a normal part of our life. But Bob…I really want to have this baby, just think of it, we're going to get to have two of them."

"It's very soon Emily, but that's wonderful." He had to admit.

"Oh you really think so, I was nervous."

"Of course it's wonderful. Now we don't have to worry about trying again and being disappointed. Think how long it took us to have Meghan, apparently we don't have that problem anymore."

"Yeah, I'm just nervous. She's very little, I just got back to work and got my waist back…and she's crawling all over the place now…I just don't know if two of them will be too much for me to handle."

"Honey you'll be great, I promise. And I'll help more."

"Great, can you finish feeding the baby while I go and be sick, please." She ordered, rather than asked as she handed over Meghan and her bottle then ran out of the room covering her mouth.

"What's wrong with her?" Howard asked, coming in through the front door.

"She's pregnant Howard."

"Again?"

"Here, can you feed Meghan for me, I'm going to go check on Emily. Emily, are you alright? Can I get you anything?"

"No Bob, I'm fine, I'm just so much sicker with this one and I don't know why." She said, sitting on the edge of their bed and clutching her head.

"Maybe it's a boy."

"That might be it cause this is certainly different." She supposed. She wanted a boy and liked this idea. "Where's Meghan?"

"Howard's finishing giving her her bottle and I think you should get to bed."

"I know I'm going to go. But do you think you could bring Meghan in so I could kiss her goodnight before you put her down."

"Of course honey."

"This morning sickness is just terrible." She lamented.

"You know I uh, I had some news of my own." It wasn't quite as big as her news, but he was very proud of it.

"Oh, really honey, what is it?" She managed a small smile for his sake.

"You know that book I've been working on?"

"Of course. What about it?" That book had consumed a lot of Bob's time over the past couple of years.

"Well it's, it's going to be published."

"That's great! That's really exciting. Congratulations sweetheart."

"Thank you." He smiled.

He was proud of this achievement as he'd worked very hard for it and had been dreaming of doing it for a long time. He paused as he watched her take off her earrings and begin to get ready for bed. He didn't have the heart to tell her the next part: that he'd be traveling. A lot. For promotion of the book over the next well…eight or nine months…he really dreaded telling her this.

…..

"Oh Emily I heard the news, congratulations!" Carol burst practically before Emily had stepped off the elevator. It was the next afternoon and Emily came down to the office to meet Bob on his last day of work before the holiday. He was going home early and they were going to do some Christmas shopping.

"Thank you Carol." Emily smiled.

"It's so soon are you just so excited?!"

"Shocked would be a better word."

"I guess I could understand. Gee you get to have two little babies..."

"Oh Emily! Congratulations!" Jerry called, coming out from his office.

"Oh thanks Jerry, Carol. We're kind of surprised." She hugged Jerry, still cradling Meghan in her arms.

"You are happy, aren't you Emily?" Carol asked, not really feeling that it was her place to ask.

"Oh of course I am. Having one of them is terrific, having two is going to be even better. I'm just kind of tired that's all. And surprised." She said. Emily didn't notice that Meghan's eyes were darting every which way, trying to take in everything about the office space around her.

"Hi Emily! Hey Meghan!" Bob said, kissing his wife and their daughter as he came out of his office.

"Hi sweetheart."

"I'll be ready to go in just a minute. Hey Meghan do you wanna come with Daddy? Yeah, let's go see Daddy's office!" He smiled, taking Meghan in his arms and going back to his office.

"Hey Bob, I was just about to ask Emily if I could hold her!" Jerry followed.

"You like kids?" Bob teased. Jerry always wanted to hold Meghan when he saw her.

"I love kids!"

"Oh Emily are you really alright?" Carol asked. She sighed, and now that Bob, Jerry and the baby were out of sight she felt like she could really answer.

"I'm scared Carol. I'm about to have two babies, just a little over a year apart. I mean, I should be ecstatic…we've been trying to have children for a very long time now but…I don't know. Do you realize they'll be a year apart?"

"Emily. I'm jealous of you."

"Oh!" She said sympathetically, she understood now. She'd felt that way for a long time herself.

"Waaaahahaha!"

"Meghan!" Emily turned to go into her husband's office when they heard Meghan cry, Carol followed quickly. Meghan was in her father's arms and sobbing.

"Oh baby girl come here!" She soothed, taking Meghan in her arms. "What happened?" She asked, rubbing circles in the baby's back as she quieted down. She buried her face in her mother's shoulder and began to suck on her fingers.

"Carlin scared her." Jerry blamed.

"Hey." Mr. Carlin retorted. "Mrs. Hartley, I'm sorry."

"That's okay Mr. Carlin, you don't have to be sorry." Bob told him.

"Okay." He quickly retracted his apology. Emily was somewhat glad; his apology had seemed somewhat out of character for him. In truth, he just didn't know how to behave around kids.

"Mr. Carlin, I'm sure she's not afraid of you." Emily thought that was absurd.

"Emily…" Bob cautioned.

"Look. I better go. Bye Dr. Hartley. Mrs. Hartley. Merry Christmas kid." Carlin said to Meghan….who immediately began sobbing again.

…

Meghan enjoyed being out with her parents. It was something completely different that she was just now beginning to understand, and was of course very curious about. It was Christmas time. And although it was very cold outside, Bob and Emily had opted for public transportation that day…well, partially. They were spending time in the city, doing some shopping, getting on and off trains, and enjoying the season. Emily carried Meghan in a baby-carrier strapped to her chest. She noticed her little girl's eyes were fully engaged with the world and she babbled like crazy at whatever she saw. Emily looked down at the baby, almost shaking at the thought that there was another baby under where Meghan rested perfectly against her chest and deep, deep inside of her.

"Aww Emily isn't she so cute? She's trying to talk." Bob laughed.

"Yeah, she is." She said, straightening the cap on the baby's head. Bob noticed that she seemed distant and sad and just out of it.

"Emily, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…oh…Bob I'm scared."

"Oh honey, can I say something that'll make you feel better?"

"I hope."

"I'm scared too." He said.

"Oh Bob!" She hugged him. He kissed her and kissed his daughter's forehead. Meghan smiled and squealed, causing both her nervous parents to smile.

"We're going to have two of these Emily. I, I know we're both a little scared but, what in the world could be better than this. What in our world is better than Meghan?" He asked.

"Nothing." She didn't hesitate.

"See. It's irrational for us to be afraid. And think about it, we've done well with Meghan. We've managed to keep her alive for eight months now."

"Mamadada." Bob and Emily looked down at once at Meghan.

"Meghan?!"

"Did she just…"

"I think she did. Meghan, did you just say Mamadada?" Emily laughed.

Meghan giggled in acknowledgement but wouldn't speak again.

"We love you Meghan."

"Very much. And we're proud of you."

"And thank you for helping Mommy and Daddy so much."

"Wow…think about it Emily, another milestone, just when we were so worried, we just heard her voice for the first time."

"I know, it's huge." She was kind of overwhelmed and sniffled a little.

"Are you crying?"

"It's just the hormones…the baby and all." She gave an easy excuse.

"Oh." He said, wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"They're happy tears honey."

"What a wonderful first word Meghan: Mamadada."

"I agree, saying Mama and Dada at one time. What a smart girl you are." She

told Meghan. Meghan squealed. She realized she'd just achieved something huge and was relishing her parent's praise.

"You know just how to make us smile, don't you darlin?" Emily laughed.

"She sure does…little miracle."

"Yeah, she is, huh?"

"And the second one is going to be no less of a miracle Emily. He or she's our Christmas surprise."

"I like that." Emily smiled. This made her confident again. "You're right Daddy…come on." She began, taking his hand, "We have a lot to do…if our parents will be here tomorrow."

"Oh no." Bob dreaded this.

"Oh Bob it'll be okay."

Emily was nervous-excited about seeing her parents the next day. She knew it would be difficult for the Hartley's and the Harrisons to share their one grandchild and perhaps even more difficult for her and Bob to tell them their baby news…on the other hand all their friends had been ecstatic…more ecstatic than they, that was for sure. She knew their parents would be over the moon, especially Martha Hartley who couldn't wait to have grandchildren.

"What are you most nervous about, about tomorrow?"

"You first."

"Fine: your father taking up every second with Meghan."

"You have a right to be worried about that."

"Alright, your turn."

"Pie."

"What?"

"The smell of anything sweet makes me sick now."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry."

"I just don't know how I'm going to handle your mother baking, Bob you know how she bakes! Oh and the mincemeat! You know how she always has to make mincemeat Bob!"

"Well, maybe we'll send out a memo, dear parents: Emily's pregnant, don't cook or bake anything." Emily laughed at this.

…

"Bob, should we baby-proof the house?" She asked, watching Meghan try desperately to pull herself up, using the table legs, she just couldn't do it yet.

"Well, it's Howard proof, isn't it?" He asked as Meghan managed to pull the phone off its hook.

The receiver missed hitting the baby on the head only by several inches. While the phone left her unscathed physically, it startled her immensely. She began to cry and looked up at her Mom for help.

"Oh Meghan, I've got you, Mommy's got you!" She soothed, rocking their little girl in her arms, getting her to quiet down once again.

"Oh Meghan, Daddy's sorry too." Bob said, from his place in the kitchen. Emily was finishing cleaning for their parent's arrival and he was making the hors d'oeuvres.

"It's alright Daddy, she's just fine." Emily informed…"Now, about baby-proofing."

"Yeah, you're right. We don't need anything else to almost knock our baby senseless." Bob was interrupted when the doorbell rang.

"Who could that be, Meghan?" Emily asked her daughter as she went to answer it.

"Well, we know it's not Howard." Bob offered, after all someone had rung the bell.

"Daddy!" Emily squealed upon seeing her father (and mother) at the front door.

"Oh, you're early." Bob laughed nervously, of course no one heard him. Now his holiday was over before it even began…sometimes he hated Christmas…and Thanksgiving…or really any event that brought his father-in-law to town.

"Oh and look who it is. It's Meghan!"

Meghan looked up at her grandparents with wide eyes.

"Now, Junior, I told you, you can't hold her right away, she's not going to remember you!"

"Well we've seen her before we…"

"Dad, she was a six day old baby the last time you saw her. She doesn't remember that."

"Well I do…"

"Come in and sit down you two." Emily giggled. Meghan, meanwhile, was relieved her mother hadn't given her up to be held. She knew adults really liked holding her and she didn't like being passed around; she preferred to stay with Mommy or Daddy.

"Hi Bob." His in-laws said at once when they finally noticed him.

"Hi. M-Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too Bob. Okay, _now_ can I see my granddaughter?" Junior asked anxiously as he and Emily's Mom, Aggie, sat on the couch.

"Alright, alright Daddy." Emily gave in, sitting close to her parents on the couch and finally releasing her daughter to her father.

"Oh she looks so much like someone else we know."

"She does?" Emily asked. "Who?"

"Baby Emily." Her mother answered.

"She looks just like you!"

"Even more than in the pictures you've sent."

Bob of course said nothing, but he'd guessed this about Meghan months ago.

Suddenly a wave of nausea struck Emily and she struggled with whether or not she could even find a way to excuse herself from the room before throwing up everywhere. She paused for a second trying to decide between speaking and throwing up or running and having everyone automatically know. Emily chose running: or rather, discretely exiting the room while her parents were occupied with the baby. Unbeknownst to Emily, Aggie had seen her daughter dart out of the room out of the corner of her eye. She looked up at Bob knowingly and smiled. Bob nodded as if to indicate that she was correct, deciding to just let the surprise go. He knew she'd keep it quiet for everyone else anyway.

An hour later the entire family including Bob's parents, Howard and Ellen had finally arrived. Emily was horrified to find that her mother-in-law had brought mincemeat pie again. Not only did mincemeat always make her sick, she knew that in her state, even smelling it would likely make her violently ill. Meghan had spent most of the day in Junior's arms but now found herself in Martha Hartley's lap, a place that was much more familiar to her. She was comforted to be there and was thinking about falling asleep.

"Well, we have a little announcement to make." Bob began. "After this Christmas you won't have to squabble over who gets to hold Meghan."

"Because we're having a baby!"

The room burst with enthusiasm, Ellen (even though she already knew the news) and both their mother's jumped up to hug Emily.

"Emily, isn't it a little soon?" Bob's mother asked.

"Well, we uh…"

"We didn't plan it." Bob finished.

"It may be soon, but it's great news!" Emily appreciated her father's support, until he said: "Finally a grandson!"

"Yes, maybe a little boy this time. That would be perfect."

Bob and Emily noticed Ellen roll her eyes as she took a drink of her wine.

"Uh, actually." Emily began, taking Bob's hand as they sat back down.

"We really want to have another girl." Bob confessed.

Bob and Emily had already decided that having another girl would be best for them for a myriad of reasons and that it was their shared preference.

"Well, we had girls." Emily's mother said thoughtfully. Emily smiled at this.

"But Sonny, why would you…" Bob's mother began.

"Well, we really love the one we have." Emily started.

"A lot."

"And we can use the same clothes and everything over again."

"And most important when they're this close in age, girls are more likely to be friends and we really want them to get along."

"Well..they're not even going to be year apart." Martha observed.

"That's right, when Meghan's six, this baby will be…"

"Five." Bob finished his mother-in-law's thought.

"Are you sure you'll be able to handle it?"

Emily wanted to say no, but she felt reassured when Bob squeezed her hand.

"It'll be hard, but we can do it." She replied.

…..

_**Christmas Eve 1981**_

"Um…Bob whose jumping on the bed?" Emily asked groggily. She was half asleep, most of her face buried in her pillow. Bob had seen Bridget's feet out of the corner of his eye.

"It's our Christmas Surprise." He replied.

"Bridget honey stop jumping." Emily mumbled.

"Why do you call me that?" She asked, plopping down on the bed with a thud.

"Because sweetie," Bob began as he and Emily sat up, "we found out that we were going to have you at Christmas time and you were a surprise so we call you our Christmas Surprise."

"How did that happen?" Bridget blinked.

"How did we find out?" Bob asked, finding it funny that he'd just been thinking about it before she came in and started bouncing on their bed.

"No. How did it happen?"

"Uh…" Emily was surprised that Bridget asked this. "Bridget, why would you ask that?"

"Because you said I was a surprise. And because one other time I heard you say I was from snow. And I asked you what I had to do with snow and nobody heard me." What Bridget had actually heard, in not so many words, was that she'd been conceived during a snowstorm.

"Honey." Emily smiled, taking the little girl in her arms. "You were a special Christmas gift."

"One that keeps on giving." Bob reminded. Bridget didn't understand this.

"What were you saying when you came in and Mommy and Daddy were still half asleep?" She asked, hoping to distract the child from her earlier question.

"Oh!" Bridget was excited. "Grandma's here and Santa's coming!"

"Grandma's here?" Bob asked. "Grandma Martha, Martha Hartley."

"Uh-huh. That one."

"Oh no then that was mincemeat I smell." Emily said under her breath.

"Come on get up! She's making cookies and she asked me to get you up! It's my important job she gave me!" Bridget plead.

"Bob, Emily what are you doing still in bed?" Martha asked when she came in the bedroom. Bob got the impression, given his mother's tone of voice, that they'd needed to be up hours ago for something important. Bob glanced quickly at the clock; it was only eight o'clock in the morning. "If you were thinking about more grandchildren, now was not the time, we all have things to do, its Christmas Eve!" She said, leaving as quickly as she descended upon them.

"Mommy what does staying in bed have to do with having another…"

"Bridget." Emily said firmly but kindly. "Good morning. Merry Christmas my little surprise."

"Merry Christmas Bridgee." Bob followed.

"Now, I want you to go see how your sisters are doing; we'll be out in a minute darling."

"Okay." She complied. "Merry Christmas Mommy, Daddy."

"Oh Bob." Emily sighed. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too…and I have some good news. A surprise."

"Oh?" She asked, laughing suddenly. "Are you having a baby Bob?" Emily thought this was hilarious.

"Uh no. This uh, this is about my new book Emily."

"Oh?"

"Just uh, just like the last one I'm getting a book tour, isn't that great?" He asked, kissing her cheek as he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

"Yeah….great." She said. He didn't notice the lack of enthusiasm in her tone. Emily sighed when he shut the bathroom door and fell back, allowing her head to hit the pillow. She closed her eyes and took a moment to marvel over how patterns in life repeat themselves in funny ways.

"Emily!" Martha called. Emily opened one eye and peered at her mother-in-law groggily. "Emily get up, you have to help with the mincemeat pie, its almost ready to go in the oven!" Emily groaned as Martha left the room, covering her eyes with her arm. "Merry Christmas to me." She muttered.


	21. Trouble Starts

Chapter 21- Trouble Starts

_**February 1**__**st**__**, 1982. Chicago, 5 AM**_

"Molly you don't have to be afraid." Bob said gently, running his fingers through her hair.

It was just one day after the toddler's second birthday and he found himself sitting up with her because she was scared to death of the storm raging outside. Molly shook her head and buried her face in her father's chest.

"Oh boy this is going to be a long week." He mumbled. "Come on sweetheart, it's time for us to go to bed."

"No!" She cried. In truth, part of Molly was just trying to steal some time alone with her father. She liked lying in his arms and listening to the rain, even though it scared her.

"Yes." He reassured, picking her up again and getting up out of the chair. She was going to cry when all of a sudden someone knocked at the door.

"Oh great, who could that be?" Bob mumbled, keeping Molly in his arms as he got up to answer the door. "Ellen!" He gasped. Tears threatened to pour down her cheeks and he could tell they weren't the first batch. "Ellen! Are you alright, are you hurt?!" He asked, concernedly. She sniffled and nodded.

"Yeah." She managed.

Neither adult noticed, but Molly carefully studied her young cousins just as her father watched his sister. She noticed they were a bit shaken themselves and the idea frightened her. She tightened her grip on her father's arm and looked up at him helplessly, thinking he would know what to do because she thought he always did.

"W-what happened?"

"Howard and I split up tonight…I think."

"Y-you what!"

"Yeah Bob I think maybe we're done." She bit her lip and looked down, trying to hold back tears.

"Why!"

"Oh Bob, I've said so much in front of the boys tonight. Maybe I'll just tell you in the morning."

"Where's Howard?"

"He went to the airport."

"The airport?"

"Yeah, probably to see Miss-little-black-book number nine, or eight or I don't know…" Ellen complained as she walked over to the couch and put down her sleepy sons. "But I know he's coming back and I don't wanna be there when he gets back."

She burst out crying and covered her mouth as she sobbed, just as soon as she turned her back on the boys. Bob was amazed, he'd never seen her that upset. He took her in his arms and attempted to comfort her. Bob noted that the boys, who'd be one in just a little over a week, looked up at their Mom with sad, confused eyes. He took pity on them.

"What's going on here?" Emily asked, coming out into the living room as she tied her robe. "Ellen?...Oh Ellen, honey!" Emily soothed, holding out her arms for Ellen. "Sweetheart what's wrong?" She yawned.

"She and Howard split up."

"You what!"

"We're done." Ellen gave a muffled cry.

"Well why?"

"I think she said something about Miss-little-black-book number nine." Bob reflected. Ellen nodded through her tears.

"Oh honey, this is Howard, he's crazy about you I'm sure you must…" Emily began. She didn't think Howard would cheat in a million years.

"No Emily, I'm not wrong." Ellen resented the idea that she might be. "I mean, I wish I were, but I think he's cheating on me."

"What happened?" Emily asked, expecting that she might've picked up the phone when another woman called or something.

"I found his little black book." She explained. Bob and Emily exchanged glances. "I mean, I know when we were having that long distance relationship…I know there were other girls back then but now…."

"So you found his little black book, how do you know he's seeing any of them?" Bob asked.

"Well he kept it, didn't he? And it's not like he put it in storage: I found it! Listen, can I sleep here on the couch, me and the boys? I'm going to Mom's in the morning."

"Mom's?" Emily asked as Ellen grabbed a blanket off the edge of the couch.

"Yeah. Mom's."

It was then that Bob and Emily realized there was something huge they weren't being told about this. Something horrible had to have happened if Ellen was willing to go to her mother's on her own volition.

...

Ellen and the boys left very early the next morning, just as the rest of the house was sitting down to breakfast. Bob had tried to convince her to stay, but to no avail, she was sure Howard would be back soon. Meghan watched her parents carefully over breakfast. They were very upset and she was confused. She had no idea why Aunt Ellen, Zach and Ryan had slept on the couch and why everyone was so upset. Meghan watched as her father sighed, noting he'd done it in this very particular way; one that was always a bad sign and met that he was frustrated to no end.

"Daddy what's going on?" Meghan asked.

"What are you talking about?" He pretended like he didn't know. Bob didn't want the girls to know what was going on. He thought it would all blow over in a couple of days anyway.

"But Daddy why was she here?" Meghan reiterated.

"And why did she leave?" Bridget followed.

"And why did she stay over night in the first place?" Meghan asked again.

"Girls. Aunt Ellen's just going through something, and it's not our business." Emily said as she sat down. "So don't ask any more questions about it."

"Okay Mommy." Bridget and Meghan said at once.

Bob just stared at Emily for a moment, wondering how she had gotten them to stop asking. If he had said that, it wouldn't have done any good.

About an hour later, Bob and Emily left the girls with their babysitter and got on the elevator together to head to work. Neither of them had said a word to each other about what had happened the night before…until now.

"Emily, what are we going to do?" Bob asked when the doors shut.

"Oh I don't know…I wish we could talk to Howard so we'd know more of what happened." Emily considered.

"Yeah- that would be good. Ellen is my sister, but I think she's being a little…rash."

"Yeah. I do too. Bob?"

"Yeah honey?" He asked. The elevator reached the bottom floor and they walked out into the lobby.

"Do you think we can help? I'd hate to see them break up."

"Well me too, but…"

"Bob I was thinking. If we could talk to them about a time when we had a problem in our marriage…"

"E-Emily I don't think we really have any that we could talk about."

"I can't think of any either." She lamented, then smiled suddenly, realizing how blessed she was. "Bob I love you." She kissed his cheek.

"I love you too." He said as the other elevator's doors opened. "H-Howard."

"Hi guys! Boy do I have the greatest news!" Bob and Emily exchanged confused glances.

"Howard." Bob began. "Don't you know your wife left you last night?"

Howard's face fell. Howie had told him that she'd taken the boys and gone to Bob and Emily's, he assumed his wife and sons were still there.

"What?" He asked.

"Howard." Emily said, taking her friend's arm gently. "Ellen went to her mother's this morning with the babies."

Howard's eyes grew wide at this. He too knew that if she went to her mother's it met she was serious.

"What happened between the two of you?" Bob asked. He was still confused about the whole affair…er, thing.

"Howard, we heard this had something to do with your not throwing out your little black book."

"Is she still on about that?" He asked angrily. "That's not what this is about! It's him!"

"Him?" Bob asked.

"He's in town and that's what I was going to tell you. After two months I was finally going to get to get him."

"Your brother Gordon is in town." Bob guessed.

"That's right. And this isn't about my black book. This is about Gordon. And Ellen getting sick of Howard." Howard was very upset and stormed out of the building, slamming the door behind him, leaving Bob and Emily stunned.

…

"Hum…let me think!" Carol was intrigued by this question.

It was late at night and she was Bob and Emily's dinner guest for the evening. It was just the three of them and it was kind of nice. The girls were fast asleep and Larry was out of town. It was sort of like old times, except for the fact that Bob and Emily were worried sick about Howard and Ellen.

As the day progressed, they'd discovered that Howard had headed straight to the Hartley's and tried to talk to his wife. When that failed, he'd tried to take possession of his sons. And failing that, he'd gone back to the airport where he'd taken someone else's Tokyo flight, just because he couldn't handle it and he knew flying would be the only way to calm him down.

Later on in the afternoon, a frantic Martha called Emily to let her know that she was keeping the twins while Ellen went out to dinner…with Gordon!? Bob and Emily were hurt and didn't know how to break the news to their dear friend; so they decided that the only way they could help was through an intervention and to try to relay some kind of personal story to Howard and Ellen…if possible.

"A time when you two had a problem with your marriage." Carol continued to consider.

"Yeah." Emily confirmed.

"Well I think our marriage is perfect." Bob added. Carol raised an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't call it perfect. But it's pretty nice." Emily giggled. "I don't think we've ever had that many problems with each other." She leaned in and kissed Bob when she said this. He smiled. Both of them felt so blessed, especially in the last few hours.

"Hold on." Carol smiled.

"What?" Emily asked.

"I can remember one time you were pretty upset with him Emily."

"What's that?" Emily batted her eyelashes carefully. She was on the verge of getting mad. After all, there was that one incident Carol, Howard and Jerry knew about that she'd worked hard to keep from Bob.

"Oh well. Remember when he went on that long book tour, and you were pregnant with Bridget? As I recall, very pregnant?"

"Emily…you were upset about that?" Bob had had no idea.

He wondered if she was also upset about his upcoming book tour. Emily thought for a moment. She was stunned. Of course she'd been upset!

"Well Bob I, I was alone with a baby and expecting another…it wasn't easy. A-

and I was worried that you might meet someone else…"

"Emily when was I ever unfaithful to you?"

Emily gulped, bearing with the realization that she'd been unfaithful and not him, well, sort of… That kiss gnawed at her conscious. The fact that she'd agreed to see her old flame bothered her more…what had she even been thinking?

"E-Emily what's wrong?"

"Bob." Emily spoke up. "There's something I have to tell you."

"W-what?" Bob was nervous now. His heart began to pound, noting she'd gulped when she accused him of being unfaithful. He watched Emily and Carol exchange glances.

"Emily…is this what I think its about?" Carol asked.

"She knows and I don't!"

"You never told him!" Carol was angry.

"I didn't want to hurt him Carol. Nothing happened."

"How can you say nothing happened?"

"Because….because I'm not the one who wanted it to. I'm the one who kept talking about my husband."

"Ok wait, wait, what, what happened here?" Bob asked.

"Oh Bob…I didn't ever want to tell you this."

"Emily, I'll tell it." Carol comforted.

"Tell what?"

"About all those dates Emily had when you were out of town."

"D-dates?" Bob asked.

"They were not dates!" Emily defended. "So I saw my college boyfriend. So what? And the other one was just a favor for Mr. Carlin."

"Mr. Carlin?" Bob asked. He was hurt by this idea even though he didn't know the full extent of it yet.

"Bob I was seeing friends and family and acquaintances. And better yet, I was very pregnant, with your daughter…do you think I was really pregnant and dating?" This sounded absurd to her. "Pregnant and dating, with a baby sitting here too?"

"Emily, before you try to convince him, let me just tell him what happened." Carol insisted and then began her recollection.

_**April 1978**_

In truth Emily couldn't have been more afraid, nor could she have been

angrier with Bob if she tried to be. She was keeping up a brave face when he left that morning because she knew this was something he really needed to do. After all, he'd been working on this book since well before Meghan was born. But in truth she was terrified that something would happen when she was alone: that the baby would come early and her water would break in the middle of the night and she and Meghan, who'd turned one just a few days before, would be all alone while she was in labor. So, because she was paranoid, she decided that she would have a lot of people over for dinner while Bob was gone: friends, family, you name it.

"Oh Emily, you look so wonderful tonight." Carol complimented her friend as she sat down at the table.

"Thank you Carol." Emily blushed. She certainly didn't feel like she looked wonderful.

"Why'd you set four places, is Bob coming back?" Carol knew that they were waiting on Howard but had not been expecting a fourth person at dinner.

"I have a guest coming, an old friend from college, just in town for the one night." Emily admitted.

"Oh that's nice."

"What's his name?"

"Steve."

"It's a guy?"

"Just an old friend from college."

"Hi everybody, what's for dinner?" Howard asked, allowing the front door to shut behind him.

"Salad Howard."

"Salad, is that all?'

"We're on a diet." Carol added. "But what will your guest…Steve, is it, think of this?"

"A diet. She's pregnant she shouldn't be on a diet! It'll starve the baby. And who's Steve?"

"Howard I'm not feeding her junk, I'm giving her good things and that's all she really needs. Steve's a friend of mine from college, he's here just for tonight, in town that is…What?" She asked, stopping when she noticed Carol and Howard looking at each other.

"Emily uh, was he more than a friend?" Carol asked. Emily didn't feel this was any of her business and got up immediately when someone knocked on the door. "No and as a matter of fact, he's bringing his wife and kids."

"Emily!" Carol watched as the tall, handsome man hugged her friend.

"Steve how are you?" She asked.

By this point, Carol had taken Howard by the hand and was leading him toward the door: they would go out for pizza and give Emily some time to get reacquainted with her friend and his family.

"And where's Marge and the kids?"

"Emily that's uh….the part I didn't want to tell you over the phone, you see, Marge and I just got divorced…"

At this point, Carol had changed her mind and decided that she and Howard should stay and chaperone Emily, but she made them leave. Besides. Emily thought that her unborn daughter served as a great, sort of built in chaperone.

"You didn't tell me you were, uh…"

"Pregnant?" She asked. She'd been wondering if this would shock him at all. She felt it made his not telling about the divorce fair.

"Well yeah…and who is this little angel?" He asked of Meghan, who sat up in her baby swing. She'd been sitting there the whole time, minding her own business and playing with her toys. Emily had tried to put Meghan to bed shortly after Carol had arrived but she wanted, to stay up. He peered over Emily's shoulder at the baby who sat in the middle of the living room.

"This is my daughter Meghan. Meghan, this is Mommy's friend, can you say hi? Huh, can you wave and say hi, Meghan? That's my girl!" Emily praised as Meghan giggled and waved in the way that babies try half-heartedly to wave. She then returned to biting her teething ring.

Meghan was very curious about who this man was and why he was there if Daddy wasn't. And where was Uncle Howard, he'd just been there, hadn't he? She didn't sense the man was bad but she knew she wanted Uncle Howard to come back. She sat and watched her mother and the strange man for a moment, immediately realizing that she was beginning to get sleepy.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'd met to put her down before you came." Emily apologized to her old flame, who really was an old flame and not just a friend, like she'd told Carol. She lifted her daughter into her arms and kissed her cheek. "Just make yourself at home and I'll be right back, okay?"

"Sounds fine Emily…good night Meghan." Emily smiled at this and took her daughter to bed.

"Okay sweetheart. It's time for sleep, yeah." She whispered as she lye Meghan in her crib and turned the mobile on. The mobile always got Meghan sleepy instantaneously. "Here's your bunny, baby, and your pacifier, yeah. Mommy loves you very much." She said, kissing her daughter's forehead. "And I'll see you in the morning, alright love?"

Emily stayed with Meghan for a few moments, until she was sure she was beginning to drift off to sleep and then left to attend to her guest. She wondered momentarily if she should feel strange about this, as Carol had suggested before she left but she quickly dismissed the thought.

"Wow. I just can't believe it."

"I know it's been a long time." She admitted.

"Well, I mean seeing you…it's surreal…and seeing you like that, well it's…"

"Surreal?"

"Yeah." They both laughed.

"Well your other one…Meghan. She couldn't be more than a year old?"

"Exactly, she's twelve months a couple of weeks ago…on my husband's and my ninth anniversary."

"Wow ninth…that's a long time."

"It's been a great time. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Scotch…but you can't…"

"No, I can't. It's fine though. But baby girl's all worth it. You know, you have kids, right?"

"Yeah a boy and a girl…they're great…but I couldn't imagine having them so close together."

"Yeah, we're going to have two babies at once." She said. She felt nervous every time this part of the subject came up. "It wasn't something we planned, it just happened this way…but we're over the moon." She admitted.

"But your husband, he's gone a lot?"

"More often than I'd like." She admitted.

"Yeah, my daughter Bridget, says that about me."

"Your daughter's name is Bridget? No kidding! This little girl's name is going to be Bridget!" Emily cried.

"Wow, what a small world." He said.

"Very small."

"How far are you?"

"Almost six months."

"My Bridget is nine."

"Wow…we're no where near that." She laughed. Emily smiled; she was really beginning to feel Bridget under her heart in the past few days. She was surprised when she heard Meghan begin to cry.

"Oh honey no!" Emily sighed.

"That's okay, you get her, is it alright if I make a call to my kids?"

"Sure the phone's right over there." She laughed and went off to get Meghan.

"What is it Miss Meghan Emily, huh?" Emily asked soothingly, kissing her baby's cheek and lifting her in her arms at the same time.

"Dada?" She asked.

"Oh honey, Dada'll be back soon. Mommy told you that remember? He's on his book tour." Meghan put her head down and played with the buttons on her Mom's sweater.

Emily elected to take Meghan back out to the living room with her…she wanted the barrier anyway because she could feel that it was all getting a little more awkward than she would've ever bargained on. Emily thought it was funny that she didn't find her stomach and growing unborn baby enough of a barrier.

"I hope its okay if I bring her back out with us, she's not quite ready for bed." Emily explained, placing Meghan back in her swing where she'd been before. Meghan watched her mother socialize with her guest as she began chewing on her fingers.

"Oh it's fine, after all, I'm the one who is the guest."

About an hour later Emily's guest was preparing to leave. She was relieved that they'd had a good evening and nothing had happened. All that awkwardness was just in her head after all.

"Wow I can't believe it." He began as they walked toward the door. "It's like we picked up, right where we left off."

"Well I don't know about that." They had been engaged where they left off. That had been in another time and place.

She smiled as she opened the door for him to leave. In that instant, he took her by surprise and kissed her deeply. Emily protested, punching his broad shoulders softly with her fists, letting him know she wanted to be let go of his lip lock. Emily thought it was a great kiss but was careful to not reciprocate. In addition to being horrified, she noted that there was just something that wasn't there between them. She paused and caught her breath.

"I think you had better go now." She paused, looking over at Meghan who had watched this with wide eyes. That in it self made her deeply ashamed.

"Oh, alright Emily…if you insist. But I know if I were married to you, I'd never leave. Good night."

"Good night." She gave a slight graceful smile and closed the door behind her.

Emily sighed and began to cry.

…..

_**February 1982**_

Present day Emily was crying too by the time Carol finished the story.

"Bob I'm so sorry. I didn't ask him to kiss me. I thought he was bringing his wife and his kids."

"Meghan saw this!' He was horrified by this idea.

"She was a baby." Emily reminded. "She doesn't remember it."

"But still. She saw it?!" He was livid. "H-how could you keep something like this from me all this time?"

"Bob I'm sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't want you to think something that wasn't true, that I-"

"Emily I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other."

"So did I." She said quietly.

"Uh-oh." Carol mumbled to herself, wondering what she'd started when the two began to argue.

As far as Bob was concerned; this was worse than Howard's little black book. She had invited her ex over. What had she been thinking? In his mind this was almost an act of infidelity. He was crushed but covering up his pain with anger.

"As long as we're here, what is this thing with Mr. Carlin?"

Seeing an ex-boyfriend was bad enough, but one of his patients? That just crossed the line.

"I was only doing for him what you would do for him Bob, only I'm a girl. I could do it better and you weren't here."

"W-what did you do?" He yelled. His eyes got wide when he asked this.

"Well." Carol said. "I remember it started when Emily came to the office."


	22. What, me apologize?

Chapter 22- What, me apologize?

_**February 1982**_

"Oh my little guys. Mommy's so sorry." Ellen said regretfully. "She tried, very hard, just for you. I really wanted to make a really nice home for you with a Mom and a Dad…and everything. You're the only reason Mommy was brave enough to take that step in the first place. And I'll take any step I have to for you, okay?"

Ellen considered that perhaps she hadn't wanted it enough. But she knew deep inside that she really had. Ryan and Zach watched her carefully as she began to cry. Both boys were distraught by their mother's tears and reached out to touch her face.

"But it's going to be okay. I'll be back in a-in a while." She was leaving them with her Mother and truthfully didn't know when she'd be back for them. "And the three of us will start over again, when Mommy gets things straightened out. Okay?"

She was thinking of taking them back to Cleveland with her, what else could she do?

"Oh good bye my boys. Mommy loves you more than you have any idea." She smiled through her tears and kissed the twins. At least love for the boys was enough to keep her going. The problem was, she loved their father and brother too and didn't want to move on without them.

Martha sighed as she led her crying daughter out the front door. She understood her pain, but thought she was being far too hasty about all this. The twins noticed that their mother had her suitcase in her hand when she left, but not theirs and wondered what that met. They knew it was significant. Martha was upset with the whole situation. Nonetheless she grabbed her daughter's shoulder, turned her around and hugged her. Ellen was surprised by this, but relished the gesture.

"Mom what am I going to do?" She whispered, closing her eyes and laying her chin on her mother's shoulder.

"I don't know baby." Martha paused, "but I promise everything will be alright." Martha knew the time had come to shut up and be supportive. Whatever happened, she was proud of Ellen for having given marriage a shot.

"Thanks Mom." Ellen managed a smile and squeezed her Mom's hand. She continued out the front door into the snow.  
"And Ellen." Martha called, Ellen turned around.

"I want you to remember. You're plenty brave."

"Thanks Mom." She smiled, and then walked away without another word. One more breath would send her running back in the house to claim her sons.

"Mama?" Ryan uttered as they heard the front door close. Zach could see the shadow from the door on the far hallway wall and begin to suck his thumb nervously.

Ryan and Zach immediately knew she was gone. Even as babies, they realized she wasn't coming back for a while and began to cry. They felt totally alone in the world in that instant.

Ellen looked up at her parent's house carefully when she'd stepped out into the falling snow. She surveyed her life for a moment. It was, indeed, as if hell had frozen over. She didn't like it, but leaving the boys there was the best thing she could do for them. They didn't deserve to watch her and Howard fight: whether it was them fighting over getting divorced or working things out. They didn't deserve to watch her and her mother fight either, which they had been. She couldn't take care of them and she couldn't expect Bob and Emily to, so, the only thing to do was to leave them with Martha where they'd be loved and protected. Deep inside, Ellen was bitterly sad. She'd wanted to be a good Mom and this incident, having to leave them with her Mom, made her realize that she sucked at motherhood.

She sighed, the cold air mixing with her breath, biting at her lungs. This was what Gordon had met when he'd said that she would get _tired_ of Howard. The trouble was, she didn't want to be tired of him. She was in love with him and devastated about what he'd done. Kids or not, she didn't want to leave him. More than any thing, she wanted to talk to him but she was just too darn mad still. That and, not knowing where he was didn't exactly help things.

This was the only reason she was going to have dinner with Gordon: the hope that maybe he'd tell her more about what he met by getting _tired_ of Howard. Well, that and Howard hadn't been the same since Gordon kissed her and she needed to find a way to amend that.

…

"So, tell me more about this, Carlin date." Bob was annoyed.

"It wasn't a real date Bob." Emily reminded, wiping away her tears.

Bob wouldn't look at her now, or at Carol, only straight ahead at the wall. Truthfully, he was angry with Carol too for keeping this hidden from him for a couple of years. She was his Secretary, wasn't she supposed to tell him things like this that she'd found out about!? In addition to that, he had the incredible urge to find Carlin and especially that Steve guy and throttle both of them. He knew it was totally unlike him, but he couldn't shake the urge. It was a strange feeling he was completely unfamiliar with and every time Emily spoke, it seemed to get stronger. It was almost as if he was having a hard time controlling himself. At least, he fully understood how Howard felt about Gordon now; that was for sure.

"Well Bob. It's like this, see." Carol began.

"I agreed to pretend to be his wife." Emily spat.  
"What?!" He questioned, totally confused by this.

"Yeah." Emily laughed through her tears. "I went to his 20 year high school reunion with him."

"As his wife?"

"Yeah. It wasn't a big deal or anything Bob. I got dressed up…"

"I don't want to hear anymore." He insisted. In some way, he was more disappointed that his beautiful wife had been turned into one of Carlin's pathetic dates than anything else.

"Are you sure about that Bob?" Carol asked.

"What, what do I want to know?!" Bob was concerned now.

"That I did it for you." Emily added.

"For me?"

"You weren't in town to deal with him and he was desperate. Plus he, used a picture of he and I at Christmas and sent it into his alumni magazine…"

"Oh that's what he's been trying not to tell me about lying to his entire high school…" Bob considered under his breath, but Emily cut him off.

"I did it Bob because it was sad and because I felt like maybe you'd loose him as a patient if I didn't."

"Emily that's no reason to…"

"And Bob he was a real jerk!"

"He what? He was mean to you?" Bob was angry with Emily, but he was even more upset about the idea that Mr. Carlin had been mean to her.

"Emily don't forget that he told everyone you'd been in a Playboy centerfold. And that one guy asked to see more of you…" Carol burst, then bit her lip, realizing she should've left that part out.

"He what!" Bob was well beyond livid.

Emily was scared now. She'd never seen Bob this mad before.

"Bob, it's okay. Calm down."

"No! It's not okay Emily! No one's going to degrade my wife like that in front of hundreds of people and get away with it!"

Bob was very secretly thinking that while _he _liked to think of Emily that way, he was disgusted at the thought of other people thinking of her that way. Not only was she _his_ wife, but the whole idea was just degrading and sexist in a way that he found distasteful.

"So you're not mad at me Bob?" She looked up at him hopefully.

"Of course I am, but that's beside the point Emily."

"Bob, I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't mean to…?" He laughed. "You didn't mean to invite your ex over? You didn't mean to never tell me he kissed you. You didn't mean to hide that from me all these years because you didn't want to hurt me, well guess what Emily: you have! Now I know how Howard feels."

"Maybe I better go…" Carol began as she got up and grabbed her coat. No one noticed.

"Oh I see! So I'm a horrible person because I was trying to spare your feelings?!"

"Thanks for the great evening. The dinner was just delicious." Carol said.

"Why did you have him over in the first place!?" It was as if she'd been looking for someone else while he was out of town. It was classic: first the old flame, then the pathetic rich guy.

"Bob, I thought he was bringing his wife! And either way, I would've had him over if you'd been here!"

"Okay, good night." Carol said, closing the door behind her.

"And what about Carlin?"

"I told you!" She started crying again. "I did it for you Bob. What would you have done for him? And I had a lot of other people over too. And Meghan and I went out a lot! Carol was over here. Howard was over here…more than usual. He even slept on the couch quite a few times Bob! And Meghan and I slept at your parent's house for a week and a half toward the end of your trip because I was getting too big to lift her and she was just starting to walk and I couldn't handle her!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" He asked.

"I was afraid to be alone." She started crying again. "And you left me here."

"What? Why were you afraid?"

"Because I was pregnant. And all throughout the time I was pregnant with Bridget I just had this overwhelming feeling she was coming early, remember?" he nodded. Bridget had arrived early and had been born in late July instead of mid-August. "And so, I was so afraid she'd be born when Meghan and I were here alone…so I went out with everyone I could think of, had over everyone I could think to have over and everyone understood but you!"

"Are you saying this is my fault?!"

"Yes!" She screamed.

"Emily, I—" Bob was livid now.

Why hadn't she said anything? It just didn't make sense. And then there was his upcoming book tour what was she really thinking about that? It was then that Emily decided to remind him of something from this time that would guilt him and make him rethink his feelings toward her in the moment.

"And Bob. While we're on the subject something else happened when you were gone that you should know about."

"What Emily? Have the doorman up for coffee?!"

_**February, 1982**_

Howie Bordon was in a word, depressed. It was like the world was imploding on him. He'd liked his new little family. Complete with the bumbling father he loved very much, a Stepmom, who although older than his real Mom, was in some ways more like a really loving big sister than a parent, and two little brothers who he knew adored him. He sat in the apartment alone staring at his Geometry homework, absentmindedly tapping the end of the pencil repeatedly on the pad of paper.

His head pounded from all the yelling and confusion. Howie still had no idea where his father was or how much he knew and he was worried about him. Howie wasn't sure that his father wouldn't harm himself in the state that he was in and the notion nearly drove him berserk. He speculated that might be an option for his father if he thought Ellen was leaving him.

The teen was also perplexed to find that Ellen had gone out with Gordon and didn't, for the life of him understand why she'd done it. He just hoped she wouldn't leave them for him. Once Ellen had left the apartment, where she'd come to drop off her suitcases, Howie had considered going over to Bob and Emily's to hear a voice of reason and get a cup of coffee. Then maybe he could clear his head.

Just as he'd tied his shoes and decided to go over there he'd heard the yelling begin. Howie stuck his head outside his door just in time to see Carol dash away from the Hartley's apartment. Bob and Emily were fighting? Since when did they do that?!

"Carol what's going on?" Howie questioned.

"I wouldn't go over there if I were you, not unless I was very skilled at being a referee." She advised.

An hour had passed since that had happened. In that time, he'd gathered that someone else had kissed Emily a few years before, but that was about it.

"What's going on?" Howard asked, coming in the door.

"Dad!" Howie burst, totally overcome with relief. "You're alright."

"Yeah I'm okay." Howard smiled at his son's concern. Howie was enough reason to live and Howard was upset at the thought that maybe he didn't realize that. "I just needed some time to think. Is that Ellen's stuff!?"

"Yeah."

"Well where is she?"

"Ryan and Zach are still with Grandma Martha, until things get worked out. Ellen doesn't want them to hear fighting."

"You mean like that?" Howard observed when he heard a crashing sound next door. He'd never heard Bob and Emily fight like that in his life. "What's going on over there!?"

In the moment he was almost more concerned about Bob and Emily than about him and his own wife. Bob and Emily never fought, but it was normal for him and Ellen.

"Well, for one thing." Howie began. "Someone apparently kissed Aunt Emily a couple of years ago. It's about all I can gather."

"What! Oh…yeah. I remember that. It was an old flame and all a big misunderstanding." Howard smiled. He too knew and Bob didn't, in fact, everyone, even Meghan knew and Bob didn't.

"Dad…why are you smiling? And, you weren't cheating on her, were you?"

"On Ellen, are you kidding! Of course not! Where is she?"

"Dad. You're not going to like this." Howie began, mentally preparing himself for another ranting adult.

"What?"

"She uh, she said she'd be back in a couple of hours." He prefaced.

"Where'd she go?"

"She went to dinner…with Gordon."

"She what!"

….

"Dad, I don't think this is such a good idea." Howie continued as they walked into the restaurant.

The boy had been hesitant to come along, but had done so in order vouch for his father in case things got too out of control. He'd rather be there to stop something from happening than go downtown to bail him out of jail that was for sure.

"Howie, relax, it'll all be fine."

Howie wasn't sure about this. How could it all be fine? His Dad had wanted a chance to kill Gordon all of this time, and worse, they had no idea what Ellen was doing, going out with him. Howie wanted to be sick when he and his father were seated at a table several feet away from Ellen and Gordon. They could see them, but Ellen and Gordon had no clue they were there. Howie hated that Ellen had a smile on her face and was frustrated that he couldn't overhear what they were saying.

"Dad take that thing off." Howie rolled his eyes, taking off his own mustache glasses.

"But Howie they're our disguises!"

"Shu! Dad…you can tell it's us."

"You can?!" He gasped.

"Yes! Now just listen." Howie reminded his nervous father and pat him on the shoulder.

"I just knew you would get tired of Howard." Gordon smiled at Ellen.

"Look. For the last time I'm not tired of Howard. I just want to know what you meant by, by that."

"You mean you don't know?"

"No!" She exclaimed, Howie could tell she was clearly frustrated. "Gordon, I wanted to know because….because I think there's someone else." She didn't really want to confess this. She looked up, with wide pain-filled eyes when Gordon began to laugh.

"That's Howard alright. Always got a more than one girl at a time. I guess marriage has slowed him down…you should feel good about that. It used to be more than two at a time…." He explained as Ellen started to tear up. She was beside herself.

"So it's true." She choked. "He really is seeing little Ms. Black-book number nine." Howard wanted to jump up and clarify this but Howie grabbed his hand and yanked him back to the table, realizing it was better to just let everything play out. He'd get his chance to talk with her.

"Well sure. It's Howard. But that's okay." Gordon said, scooting a bit closer to her in the booth, she shot him a disapproving glare and began to back away. "You've still got me: Gordon."

Ellen closed her eyes and took a breath. She thought it was the way he said it. He could've easily been John Tobin back on her wedding day and that said a lot. She grabbed her purse.

"But…but Gordon you see. I don't want you or, or just anybody. I love Howard. I love him very much…even if he's done wrong by me…" She started. "Gordon: if I couldn't' be with Howard, I wouldn't wanna be with anybody at all…" Howard was about to jump up and embrace her when he heard this, but Howie held him back again, knowing there was more to what she had to say. "I'm sorry, I have to go. You might consider apologizing to your brother sometime."

"Me? Apologize? Ellen that's rich after what I just said to you!"

"No, no it's not. You kissed me, your brother's wife…and Gordon, I'm just considering the source." She informed, wanting him to know that that she may've not come to him because she trusted his word as truth, but rather that she'd intended to believe the opposite of what he was saying.

"So what? Are you just going to run back into his arms now?"

"No. I have someone else to see. Good night. And please. Apologize to my husband and to my sons: all three of them, especially Howie if you ever get the chance." She said. She bid Gordon a good night and left. He stood and watched her cross the restaurant and exit.

Howard and Howie emerged from their somewhat more secluded table just as soon as Ellen had disappeared. Howard was torn. He knew he needed to follow Ellen, but at the same time he wanted badly to have a "word" with his brother. He descended upon him almost like a vulture, planning to peck his eyes out of their sockets, but Howie yanked him backward.

"Come on Dad! We've gotta follow her!"

"Later Gordon! I'll be back for you later!" He ranted as his son began to pull him away.

"You don't faze me Howard." Gordon laughed, taunting his brother as he was dragged away.

….

"I really appreciate you letting me in…especially so late in the evening." Ellen began, she looked around, observing Lois' kitchen.

Everything was immaculate and it made her and her almost clean kitchen feel inferior. But Ellen already surmised that everything this woman was going to do was going to make her feel that way.

Lois felt sorry for Ellen and already had a good guess as to why she was there. She had told her to drop by if she was ever in the neighborhood, but she didn't really expect the visit: especially late in the evening on a Friday night like this. She wanted badly to ask Ellen what had brought her by but instead, Ellen spoke.

"I uh…I wanted to ask you about, about you and Howard."

"Go ahead." Sure enough it was coming.

"It's just that we've been having some problems lately…"

"Oh." Lois tried to act surprised.

"And they started with Gordon."

"Yeah I'll never forget that time Gordon made a pass at me."

"He kissed me…what…" Ellen asked, she watched Lois' eyes widen.

"I just can't imagine how…how livid that would make Howard. He can be a jealous guy." This hit Ellen as ironic. _He_ was a jealous guy? And _he _was the one cheating?

"Well um…"

"I'm surprised that's why you're here? I thought for sure that this would be about his being gone so much."

"Oh but I like that." Ellen told her.

"You're kidding…it's why we broke up."

Ellen laughed, sort of relieved by this.

"His traveling is what made me able to settle down with him…I'm a very independent person." Ellen explained. She put her cup of coffee down, hoping to begin the process of explaining exactly why she'd come to her husband's ex-wife's house in the middle of the night.

"He uh…he…Lois, did he ever cheat on you?"

"No. Well, not with a woman." She began. Ellen was highly alarmed for a moment wondering if he'd cheated with a man, she could never see that happening. Not in a trillion years. "No he cheated on me…with his work…with flying…with the world. With what your apparently happy about him giving his time to…But not with a person. I think Howard loves too deeply for that. It's too cheap, too dishonest for him. You don't think he's…"

"I'm not sure." Ellen said, not feeling the need to explain everything.

"Well I'll tell you now. Howard would never do that. I mean sure when he's not tied down he's playboy of the month: you must know that…but something really drastic would've had to happen for him to have cheated on me…and he'd never cheat on you…I think he'd give his life for you." The claim made Ellen want to cry, Lois continued. "I know, I uh remember how when we'd get together to make decisions about Howie and I'd ask him about his life and he of mine…I'd talk about my divorce, my second one…and he'd talk about you…he'd get all starry eyed you know…" Lois laughed and Ellen watched her demeanor change very suddenly. Lois grew very serious when she said: "He loves you far more than he ever loved me."

"Lois…are you okay?" She asked, taking the other woman's hand and sensing that something was very, very wrong.

"Well the thing is…I think my son does too."

"That's the other reason I'm here…to talk to you about apologizing to your son…"

"Me? Ellen I'm not at fault…why should I be the one to apologize?" She asked.

….

"Emily why should I be the one to apologize?!" Bob yelled. He didn't like this he wasn't used to yelling but he thought this was all just ridiculous.

"Because you're the one who started this!" Emily yelled back, she was still crying and the fighting had been going on for more than an hour.

She hated fighting with Bob. It broke her heart and made her feel like she was in danger of loosing everything she held so dear. She hated that they were being torn apart when they were usually so close in everything and she hated that her little girls were probably listening to every word just feet away…another reason why they should move…

"_I _started it! Emily you're the one who went out with Mr. Carlin and _Steve..._." Bob yelled/whispered this part.

"Bob for the last time I didn't go out on you! I love you!" She said, almost pleading for forgiveness with her _I love you._ "And wait, how do I know what _**you**_ were doing all those nights you were gone…!" She inquired, recalling that he always seemed to call her late when she was tired and Meghan was asleep.

"EMILY! I'd never do that!" He was outraged at being accused of cheating himself. "Do I seem like the kind of guy that would cheat on my wife? Let alone my heavily pregnant wife?"

"No! But do I seem like the kind of wife that would cheat on you Bob? Especially while pregnant! I mean what kind of a skank does that?! We've been married over ten years you should know me better than that!"

"Well then why am I just finding all of this out? Maybe, maybe we don't know each other very well." He suggested. She was taken aback and wondered what this was supposed to mean.

"Oh?"

"And what was it…what's the blow to my heart now Emily? What else happened when I was gone that I should know about? You said there was something. Did you out with the mailman too?" He asked this one quietly, in his sarcastic tone now so the girls couldn't possibly hear.

Emily's eyes widened and she couldn't believe he'd uttered such hurtful words. Her heart sunk when he said this and a fresh batch of tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.

"That, Bob Hartley was taking it too far!" She said, grabbing her coat beginning to walk out toward the balcony.

"E-Emily it's freezing out there!" He said, voicing some concern about her decision to go outside in the freezing cold night and just stand there. It was about to snow, after all. She shrugged and shut the door, turning her back to him.

Bob sighed, running his hand through his hair. He watched his wife shake and shiver out in the cold and felt guilty about being so warm and cozy inside. He sat on the edge of his favorite brown chair and just watched her for a moment, studying every bit of her from behind, wishing things were different and that he was holding her in that chair, sharing sweet little thoughts about their day and getting ready to fall asleep.

Bob watched the wind gently comb Emily's hair and her breath rise to meet the cold icy air. He swallowed his own tears and went to take her the blanket that lye on the chair next to him.


	23. Only You

Chapter 23- Only You

"I guess we lost her." Howard lamented; he rested his head in his hand as he picked at the cheesecake he was eating.

"Not really Dad…she said she'd be back later tonight. And I know she really will. She said she wouldn't leave me home alone overnight even though I'm sixteen."

Howie was both resentful over this and flattered at the same time. Howard smiled at the idea. He loved that she was so loving toward his son.

"I just uh…I just hope she believes me…Howie I tried with your mother and it didn't work…" He reminded.

"It wasn't your fault. She walked out on you Dad."

"I know. I'm just afraid it's happening again. And with Ellen I…I tried so hard. And I…"

"With Ellen its different."

"How so?" Howard asked his teen son. The boy smiled.

"Mom's funny that way. She thinks she needed someone and actually she's pretty independent. It's what happened with Mickey too." He spoke of his former stepfather, from whom his mother was also divorced. "I'm not saying she's bad…I love her. I-I miss her." He paused for a second. "She's just more independent than she knows. That's one of the reasons I'm here." He finally explained. "I'm giving her space to figure herself out. But Ellen. Ellen doesn't know herself either. You see. She thinks she's a woman of the world….that she's best off alone and she's not. She needs you. Just in a way that's less…damsel in distress...she needs you as an equal partner."

"She-she needs me?"

"Can't you tell?" Howie asked, turning back to the cake on his plate.

Howard smiled, feeling fulfilled. There was a degree to which he adored the side of Ellen that didn't need him. She had been hard to win. At the same time. He'd wanted to be needed by her. After all, if she needed him, it would keep them together.

"H-Howie, how'd you know all that?" He asked suddenly.

"Bob's been helping me with my psychology project." He answered simply as he ate.

"Oh…" Howard hesitated. He didn't know Howie was taking psychology.

Howie was taking college level psychology in the eleventh grade. Only Ellen knew about this because she was the only "parent" who'd been paying attention to his schoolwork and social life. Bob was helping with Howie's big project, which was an analysis of marriage. He'd chosen three marriages to do a comparative study on: his parent's marriage which he was thankful had ended long ago before it caused him permanent harm, Howard's and Ellen's which he considered a comedy of errors and Bob's and Emily's, which he thought of as picture perfect and was sort of jealous of. This was why he had felt so unsettled when he'd heard them fighting hours before. It was like the world was falling apart. He firmly believed that if they couldn't make it, no one could.

…..

"Daaaddyy?" Meghan asked, she dragged out his name in a sweet sing-songy voice. Bob was annoyed by her and wondered what she could possibly want at this time of night.

He raised an eyebrow and looked over the top of his newspaper at the girls. They'd been woken up by his and Emily's fighting and had come out of their room to try and see if they could help patch things up between their parents. In fact, their presence was the only reason that he was still there. But that didn't mean he was in the mood to play with them and they didn't understand that. If the girls hadn't woken up, he would've probably gone to Jerry's or maybe even next door despite the fact that Howard and Ellen were having such big problems themselves.

Bob and Emily weren't speaking now, and every so often she would glare at him out of the corner of her eye. This had started about an hour before, when Bob had gone outside with the blanket and brought Emily back in. He wrapped it around her lovingly and ushered her inside, explaining that no matter what, no wife of his belonged out in the cold. She'd smiled at him bitter sweetly for a split second before they began fighting again, which woke up the girls.

Once they were up, Bob and Emily changed their tactic and continued their quarrel by departing to separate corners of the living room and beginning a game they sometimes liked to play when arguing: who can go the longest without speaking to the other? First one to say the other's name looses.

"Daddy can we watch a movie?" Meghan asked. Bob looked at the clock it was close to midnight and he was surprised the three young girls were even awake. Usually they didn't have the tolerance for being up this late.

"Please?!" Bridget followed.

"With you?" Molly added.

"And Mommy!" Meghan included.

Bob sighed. This was the third time in the last hour that the girls had tried to get their parents to speak to each other.

"No movie tonight girls. In fact, I think it's bedtime…"

Out of habit, Bob almost said, 'right, Mommy?' to Emily. He paused realizing that the girls had asked for a movie at this time of night, just to trick him into saying this because he always did when it was time for bed. This frightened him. What was he supposed to expect if they were this smart as tiny preschoolers? What would they be doing to him, and how would they be trying to manipulate him when they were older?

He was sure glad he was a psychologist. He stopped for a moment and just looked at Meghan. He understood their sisterly dynamic. He'd been studying it their whole lives and had never really changed, it had just gotten more sophisticated as they got older. He couldn't help but study it; it was interesting. And he knew in a heartbeat that Meghan had organized this and forced her little sisters to help her carry out her calculating plan.

"Meghan. Bed. Now." He insisted, deciding he didn't want to put up with being manipulated by his preschooler, even if her scheme was well intentioned.

"But Daddy…"

"Go!" He commanded. He was stern and resolute in saying this but didn't raise his voice.

Emily watched carefully, unsure if she approved of this. Meghan's eyes got big and began to water. She didn't think her Dad had ever talked to her like that before and she was scared. Usually bedtime was a very calm, peaceful time for the Hartley girls, they'd never just been sent to bed before. Meghan began to cry and ran off in the direction of the den.

"Meghan!" Bob was surprised and had no idea he would make her cry.

"Bob, why did you scare our daughter like that?! She didn't mean to bother you she's just a little four year old girl." She wondered for a moment if he was loosing his mind and in case you're wondering, didn't care if she lost the fight.

"Emily I didn't mean it." He explained. She could see the sense of shock carry over into his body language and knew he was extremely sincere. "Emily, she's my little baby, I…I." He couldn't finish the thought.

"Come on. I think we better go and talk to her." Emily said, grabbing his hand and leading him into the den where the girls had already gotten into their beds without a word even to each other.

…

"Where could she be?" Howard asked anxiously, he paced the living room as he looked at the clock. He was getting worried.

Howie sat on the couch, looking back and forth between his notes, his father and the clock, which was just about to strike midnight. He wasn't worried about his stepmother. It was obvious to him that she'd had somewhere else to go that was important and he knew she'd be back soon.

Howard sighed and collapsed onto the couch, putting his head in his hands. Maybe she was accusing him of having someone else because she did? That would be even worse than his not being able to convince her that he wasn't cheating. Suddenly they heard a dull knock at their door. Father and son exchanged glances and Howard got up to answer it.

Ellen stood in her own doorframe just as she'd stood in her brother's the other night, she'd just come in from the snow, and her two sons were sleeping on either shoulder, only now she was smiling and not crying.

"Ellen!" He burst, "Oh honey thank God your safe! And boys. Oh my boys." He said, cradling a sleeping Ryan's head in his hands. He kissed Ellen without a word more to her about what had happened or who was going to forgive whom.

"Did you hear Bob and Emily fighting?" Ellen asked simply. She was surprised when Howie came and got the twins out of her arms and departed from the room, leaving her and Howard totally alone.

"Yeah it, it was just awful." Howard reflected. "I-I don't like to see them like that. It's weird."

"Yeah. I sure hope they'll be okay."

"They're Bob and Emily." He laughed. "They'll be fine." He promised. There was an awkward silence between the couple for a split second before they decided to sit down and talk.

"Look uh…I don't understand everything that happened the other day. Just that you think something that's not true about me and I'm sick over it."

"Howard I.."

"I mean, I got what I'd always wanted…you. Do you think I'd be crazy enough to louse that up with some cheap floozies?!" He asked almost desperately.

"No." Ellen laughed "Oh honey I know…I've learned a lot in the past couple of days and I'm not giving you up for anything." She promised.

"And I wouldn't jeopardize us for anything. A wise woman once said to me: We're married." He took her hand in his own. "We have a life together. And we choose each other every day. Not your brother, Not anybody else, and that's all that matters."

"I love you." She said in agreement. "And I'm so happy to choose you over and over again. Day after day."

Howard smiled as they began to kiss. Howie had been hiding just around the corner where he couldn't be seen. He smiled, overjoyed that they'd made up, and ducked into the nursery to put his sleeping little brothers to bed.

….

"Meghan, Daddy's so sorry he scared you." Bob apologized, running his fingers through her dark brown hair as she lye in her bed. She smiled up at him, just happy to know he wasn't angry with her. "I love you."

"But Daddy had a point." Emily admitted. She sat on the edge of Bridget's bed facing Meghan. Bridget sucked her thumb and was about to fall asleep as she cuddled up to her mother who rocked her in her arms as she spoke. "It's not okay for you to try to trick Mommy and Daddy Meghan. It's dishonest. You don't see Mommy and Daddy doing that with each other, do you?" Emily asked, looking up at Bob for reassurance.

Meghan shook her head no.

"Exactly." Bob said, "It's dishonest."

"What's that mean?" Meghan asked. Bridget listened carefully.

"Well it's kind of like not telling the truth, it's making someone think or say something that's not true, or not what they want, only to get what you want."

"Oh." Meghan understood this, even as she yawned.

"So Meghan." Bob continued. "From now on, you need to think more about right and wrong, rather than getting what you want all the time."

"Okay Daddy, I pwomise. I wove you." She mumbled, she was half asleep.

"Good night princess. I love you too." He said, kissing her softly.

Bob and Emily tucked Bridget in bed together and kissed all three of the girls goodnight again (Molly had fallen asleep not long after Meghan had been rebuked in the first place and had been asleep all this time).

"Oh Bob. Your such a good Daddy." Emily said when they came back out into the living room. "It's funny how I…I always knew you would be." She'd thought about it for a moment and realized that she'd been accusing her wonderful husband of having been a terrible husband and father. And he was certainly anything but.

"Oh." He smiled. "T-thanks Emily."

"Honey I…maybe it was wrong for me to have done what…" She began.

"No." He corrected. "Emily, s-sit down we should talk this out."

"And remember our rule: we don't go to bed mad." She reminded. He sighed at this recollection, hoping that it would mean he'd get to go to bed sometime in the next couple of days.

Bob and Emily sat down on the couch. The living room was mostly dark now, save the light from a couple of little table lamps. Emily could see the rain falling from where she sat. It looked weird to her, sitting there in the dark watching the storm (which had been a snowstorm until a just now). Usually she would've closed the curtains hours ago, but the fight had not permitted it. It was almost eerie, looking out the window into the dark abyss of the night's sky, the big rain clouds hung over the lake ominously, as if they were waiting to do battle.

"Emily I-I never should've put you in that position..." Bob began.

"Bob you hurt me!" She said, cutting him off.

"Emily I…"

"Just let me get this out!" She said sternly, practically going back to yelling at him. He shut up and nodded. "Bob, I was terrified." Emily began to cry. "I know it was only," she sniffled, "a week here, a week and a half or two weeks there but it was a lot for me. At a time when I needed you most! If it wouldn't have been for the girls being so little I wouldn't have minded…but Bob I was still a new mother…doing something new with Meghan everyday, something I'd never done before and was often afraid to do…I worked everyday, I worried about you…."

"Oh Emil…"He reached up to dry her tears by she pushed his hand away, startling him.

"And on top of it, I was also doing the hard work of growing a whole new person out of nothing. Being pregnant is harder than you realize: physically, emotionally, it makes taking care of a baby harder too…you should really try it sometime." She suggested.

"N-n-no thank you."

"See?" She laughed.

"Emily I should've stayed with you and cared for you and the babies. I'm a jerk and whatever happened during that time is my fault Emily. I'm sorry. For whatever it's worth. But Emily I…I wish you would've told me."

"Told you? You couldn't be reached…and you were thrilled Bob. You'd worked so hard for it, since before I got pregnant with Meghan. It was what you'd decided to do, remember, when we uh…when we realized a baby probably wasn't in the cards for us. It was when I took the Vice Principal job, remember Bob? That's when you decided to write a book."

"I remember. A-and I did want it…and I did work hard for it. But with your having the girls…I should've adjusted my plans…..and Emily…what about my new book tour? What do I do about that?" He'd already obligated himself to this and couldn't get out of it now.

"Bob it's fine." She sighed. "The girls are older…I'm not going to have the problems I had last time. Sleeping, bottles, diapers, a new baby on the way…" she paused. "You know what was really difficult?"

"No, what?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know. She was preparing to offer an analogy of sorts.

"Do you know what it's like to be very pregnant and teaching somebody else how to walk?" Bob shook his head. "Meghan was good at walking when she started, but she wanted to be fast even though she wasn't. She needed my hands to guide her or she'd fall, but I was too big from being pregnant and I really couldn't see her well…every step we took, my stomach would hit Meghan in the back of the head. It scared me, you know, I…I was afraid it was hurting them Bob: Meghan's little head, and Bridget's whole little body…it was really uncomfortable for me…But I had to keep going, I had no other choice, at least, not until I moved in with your mother, which was a whole different kind of "fun." Bob everything I did when you were gone was like that. It was like trying hard to keep walking and getting smacked in the head with every step because you weren't there to hold my hand."

"Oh God Emily I'm sorry."

"That was my everyday." She sighed. "And what's worse is when you're exhausted and hungry and every part of you aches because your sharing your body with somebody else and then you have to hold this baby for hours while it cries and refuses to sleep, or worse while it's sick…And then just when you think things are going to get better, that there's a glimmer of hope… that maybe you'll be able to have a glass of water, or God forbid, go to the bathroom: Howard comes over for dinner." Bob almost wanted to laugh at this.

And I know I'm just-just over-overreacting." He added.

"Bob, aren't you listening to all I went through…for you?"

"Yes Emily. Emily I wish you would've told me things were that hard without me." He was deeply saddened by this. "I'd never want you to suffer. I love you so much Emily! Why do you think I felt the way I felt about those dates….well whatever they were…you said it, I overreacted. And I did it because you mean so much to me that I can't bear to think about your being with another guy. Even if its just to go to his high school reunion, or just for a cup of coffee because he's an old friend…and I'm definitely not happy about that Playboy comment who was that guy?" Bob inquired.

"Oh Bob." Emily smiled, brushing his cheek with her hand. "I love you too. You mean so much to me…and it's not like I was trying to make people think I was available…you have to remember, I kind of had a big reminder I was married attached to me at all times…well two."

"Two?"

"Two. Bridget and my ring. And in Steve's case, Meghan too."

"I guess three didn't deter him…"

"Well, four." She smiled.

"Four?"

"I kept telling him what a great guy you were and how much I loved you."

"You mean that?" He smiled.

"Every breath of it." She said, leaning into him and looking in his eyes.

Just then thunderstruck and both Bob and Emily jumped. They hadn't been expecting it. Bob grabbed the blanket, which she still held around her arms and pulled it up to the top of her shoulders to try to comfort her, finding that in doing so, he inadvertently enveloped her in a sort of half hug. In the meantime, Emily had done similarly with him, throwing her arms around his neck. Emily paused, her eyes locked with his as they leaned into each other, having been startled by the clap of thunder. They watched one another's eyes as the thunder rattled and began to die down, the sound fading away like that of a marching band parading on into the distance.

Before Emily could think much about what she was doing, she leaned in and kissed him. He was surprised, but allowed himself to wrap his arms around her, securing the blanket around her and holding her lovingly. The thunder crashed again outside and they could hear the rain begin to beat down harder on the building, and the wind begin to pick up. Lightening flashed this time but they ignored it and continued their kiss.

"Oh God, Bob forgive me." She mumbled, breaking their kiss for just a second, but then going back for more when he gently took her face in his hands.

"No, Emily I'm the one who needs to be forgiven." He replied, brushing his finger tips across her cheek bones, wiping away the remaining tears on her face just has he'd wanted to all evening. "I'm the jerk." He insisted.

"Sure but I love you anyway." She laughed, kissing him again.

"Oh Emily, I love you too." He replied, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Only you, forever and ever." She promised, still lingering near his lips.

Thunder struck a third time as Emily reinitiated their kiss. She smiled into his lips as he intensified the kiss, noting that he'd slipped his hand behind her head, almost in a cradling gesture. Emily listened to the calming sounds of the thunderstorm as they began their slow dissent into the couch cushions.


End file.
